Friday night and the EggHead Forum option of the forum choices is eerie quiet- I need to get a life!

Canugghead

Pork, chicken, beef, cat, dog.

dbCooper

If someone orders their steak well-done with catsup, do they have any standing to criticize the eating habits of anyone?

lkapigian

Botch said:

Okay, it's Friday night and the 5 pm news is all about our new la-dee-dah NHL team, so I'm going to start a fight.
 
Seasoning the edges of steaks, fish and chops IS WRONG!!  Fight me!  
 
If you salt the top of a steak, all the salt is concentrated there:
 
  5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5
  0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
  0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
  0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
  0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
 
As the salt sinks into the meat (not thru osmosis, but some other process (Fight me!)), eventually salt reaches the bottom of the steak, albeit weaker than at the top:
 
  5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5
  4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4
  3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 
  2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2
  1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1

If you let the steak sit in the frig long enough, the salt will eventually be evenly distributed throughout the meat, but by that time the proteins are denatured and other big words, so you don't want to do that.  Now, if you salt just the bottom of the steak, and let it sit overnight, the reverse happens:
 
  1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 
  2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2
  3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3
  4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 
  5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5
 
So, most of us salt both the top and the bottom, and the salt levels throughout the thickness add and becomes equal in a short amount of time:
 
  6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 
  6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 
  6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 
  6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 
  6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 
 
Now let's imagine what happens when you salt just the edge (we'll say the left edge for this graphically-poor example), and let it sit overnight; then you get a seasoning distro like this:
 
  5 4 3 2 1 0 0 0 0
  5 4 3 2 1 0 0 0 0  
  5 4 3 2 1 0 0 0 0
  5 4 3 2 1 0 0 0 0
  5 4 3 2 1 0 0 0 0
 
(see where I'm going with this?)
If you follow the advice of too many ewetube cooks, and salt the top, bottom, AND the edges of your steak, and let it set overnight, the final salt distribution is once again additive, and you get this:
 
   11 10 9 8 7 6 6 6
   11 10 9 8 7 6 6 6
   11 10 9 8 7 6 6 6   
   11 10 9 8 7 6 6 6 
   11 10 9 8 7 6 6 6
 
...and the perimeter of your steak is overseasoned, roughly equal to the thickness of your steak.  That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.  
 
-----
 
So, what should you do to season a cylindrical shape of protein, like a tenderloin?  By my thinking, salt it evenly all the way around the cut, but not on the ends, or they'll be overseasoned, as per above.  What about an odd-shaped cut, like a butt or worse, a tri-tip?  I guess at that point you eyeball it, and try to season more light on the corners and tips (just salt the entire thing when the aspect ratio falls under 1.618, that would be too hard to draw).  
 
Can you tell I'm bored tonight?  
    
  

How did I ever miss this post 

Legume

I would love for someone to run this experiment above with salt and do a blind taste test, my guess is the differences are indistinguishable if all steaks are salted with the same amount of salt, just distributed differently.

Botch

lkapigian said:

How did I ever miss this post 

 Thanks for digging this up!  We just started this argument on another forum and I didn't feel like typing all that garbage up again, now I can copy/paste!  

Canugghead

Botch said:

lkapigian said:

How did I ever miss this post 

 Thanks for digging this up!  We just started this argument on another forum and I didn't feel like typing all that garbage up again, now I can copy/paste!  

Need diagram of what happens when you stab with needle at random spots to inject brine 

Canugghead

Many migrants are big Joey Chestnut fans.

GrateEggspectations

SamIAm2

GrateEggspectations - Only ever went thru Kenosha on the rail line while off duty heading thru Racine to Milwaukee. Lots of train rides on weekends when I was at BE&E school at Great Lakes. Drinking age at that time was 21 in Illinois and 18 in Wisconsin. Thanks for the wayback memory revival. 

lousubcap

Actually have an event this evening in Bremerton, WA (PDT).  Speaking at a now decommissioned submarine crew reunion (I did not serve on the boat) about events I was up close and personal with during Operation Desert Storm some 33 years ago.  When my name was floated around 18 months ago, I suggested others but said that if they got to the bottom of the bullpen I would step-up.  I guess reunions tend to attract ancient presenters.
I have known the organizer for many years.  I suspect I am the "path of least resistance."  It will be good times!

Ozzie_Isaac

Ready for a drink.  Sat through a 8 hr tax strategy class.  Now a 2hr drive.

DoubleEgger

lousubcap said:

Actually have an event this evening in Bremerton, WA (PDT).  Speaking at a now decommissioned submarine crew reunion (I did not serve on the boat) about events I was up close and personal with during Operation Desert Storm some 33 years ago.  When my name was floated around 18 months ago, I suggested others but said that if they got to the bottom of the bullpen I would step-up.  I guess reunions tend to attract ancient presenters.
I have known the organizer for many years.  I suspect I am the "path of least resistance."  It will be good times!

Hope you told them that the “Cow Drives the Cook”. 

Battleborn

Ozzie_Isaac said:

Ready for a drink.  Sat through a 8 hr tax strategy class.  Now a 2hr drive.

Ready for a drink. Ended up fighting a guy three times at the hospital (long story) before they decided to sedate him. Then I had to sit there all day for him to wake up before taking him to jail. 

JohnInCarolina

Battleborn said:

Ozzie_Isaac said:

Ready for a drink.  Sat through a 8 hr tax strategy class.  Now a 2hr drive.

Ready for a drink. Ended up fighting a guy three times at the hospital (long story) before they decided to sedate him. Then I had to sit there all day for him to wake up before taking him to jail. 

I’m sure he was terribly sorry once he started to understand just where he was going.

Ozzie_Isaac

JohnInCarolina said:

Battleborn said:

Ozzie_Isaac said:

Ready for a drink.  Sat through a 8 hr tax strategy class.  Now a 2hr drive.

Ready for a drink. Ended up fighting a guy three times at the hospital (long story) before they decided to sedate him. Then I had to sit there all day for him to wake up before taking him to jail. 

I’m sure he was terribly sorry once he started to understand just where he was going.

Then screaming, banging, and spitting.  I don’t have the disposition to deal with the general public on a good day, I can’t imagine the dregs of society on their worst days.

Ozzie_Isaac

Looking fwd to next week

lousubcap

All quiet in flyover country here.  Just returned from giving a brief speech at a POW/MIA ceremony (today is National POW/MIA Recognition Day-third Friday in September) at the local VFW post.  Very lightly attended.  🇺🇸
Perhaps next year!

Botch

This prolly won't stimulate much of a discussion, but I found it kinda interesting.
 

Ozzie_Isaac

I have a funny meme, perfect for this thread, but will refrain out of better judgement.

Battleborn

Ozzie_Isaac said:

I have a funny meme, perfect for this thread, but will refrain out of better judgement.

Sounds like poor judgement to me. 

Ike

Post it for Frank, it's Friday.

Ozzie_Isaac

Battleborn

Ozzie_Isaac said:

Very nice. Thank you

Legume

We need a laugh button.  Like, agree, laugh.

Battleborn

Also, those CCTV camera clips are pretty crazy. Amazing how “they” were able to get those pagers out. 

alaskanassasin

Cleaning the fridge out and I think I’m done, just as I shut the door I see a bottle of thousand island with 1/4” of dressing in the bottle dated 2022, toss it, one final sweep and there is another in the same door pocket half full dated 2023, (How did I miss these!) against my better judgement I kept it but now I want a Reuben. (I know it should be Russian dressing but try finding that in central Ohio, and is there a difference!?) Also swmbo is stock piling bacon, I’m not sure what that is all about you can never have too much bacon, but she could probably quit adding it to the list.

JohnInCarolina

alaskanassasin said:

Cleaning the fridge out and I think I’m done, just as I shut the door I see a bottle of thousand island with 1/4” of dressing in the bottle dated 2022, toss it, one final sweep and there is another in the same door pocket half full dated 2023, (How did I miss these!) against my better judgement I kept it but now I want a Reuben. (I know it should be Russian dressing but try finding that in central Ohio, and is there a difference!?) Also swmbo is stock piling bacon, I’m not sure what that is all about you can never have too much bacon, but she could probably quit adding it to the list.

JohnInCarolina

lousubcap

Acknowledging the recency bias I agree with Bob Costa regarding the greatest offensive one day performance in MLB history.   

kl8ton

Those kids had a front row seat to history.  I bet they will be lifelong Dodgers fans.