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JohnInCarolina

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  • nolaegghead

    He has fallen in love with an Aldi's checkout girl, 15 years his junior.  Despite her cleft palate, club foot and penchant for Nickleback, or in spite of it, he is smitten with wuv.  So much, in fact, his weekend offspring and his friend with equally large pupillary distance have been fed only Legos (cooked on 1942 Griswold 11" cast iron).  But they are tough and do not complain.  Understanding.


    Love is the sweet smoke from a morning Weber, wafting into one's heart.  The exhaust of a vintage car fired up in dad's garage.  The tactile texture of gramp's private second class service medals freshly polished.  Everything American mixed into one blender and poured into a Yeti 32 oz Rambler and sucked down next to mom's apple pie, cooling in the window sill, Walter Cronkite on the radio.


    He knows all this because she smiled when he waited in the longer line to check out (super great deals on frozen breakfast sausage, btw) and the pizza hut shirt caught her eye....  He knows she feels the same.   FOCK THE FORUM!!!  LOL!


    August 2
  • nolaegghead
    Could you perhaps tell me the species of caterpillar that resides on your upper lip?
    July 10
  • nolaegghead
    John, as per our previous conversation, RE - how do I clean my knives, brah, here it is:

    Typically in the bush I sling off most of the cougar blood or whatever other fierce animal I've just slayed with a 72 layer Damascus Shun from Williams Sonoma (hell of a sale, VG10 core, btw) by dragging said blade out with a quick and decisive reverse stabbing motion, no limp wrists allowed, the droplets of blood spraying harmlessly in a cloud that dissipates behind where I'm crouched.  One or twice those drops outlined deer antlers on my Taco, but mostly they are just mist. Epic at dawn.

    There's little blood left on the knife because the whip-clean is effective and almost silent, just a quick whoosh sound.  Never put her away wet. I put her to bed with a quick brush between my left testicle and femoral artery, through some Lees that I rock with, don't want blood on the fockin nut-sack.  It would drive the Aldi's cashier nuts, if she only knew.  But I'll sleep well in my pop-up tonight, CI cooling down after a quick seasoning on the dying embers, LOL.

    July 12
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