It's time for another joke thread

Botch

I was at my bank today; there was a short line.
There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.

It was obvious she was very irritated . . .
She asked the teller,
"Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen.
Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says,"Fluc you white people too!"
 
---------------
 
I'm tired of Chuck Norris jokes. If Chuck Norris was so damn tough he'd come here and slam my head on this keyboarvg@$((guiyW36gghghhh gfghur57(
 
----------------
 
http://thedailyheadline.com/farm-kid-writes-home-after-joining-the-marines-this-priceless/
 
-----------------
 
He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again ....... back and forth ..... back and forth ..... in and out ..... in and out.

She could feel the sweat on her forehead and between her breasts, and trickling down the small of her back, she was getting near to the end.

Her heart was pounding ... her face was flushed ... then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.
Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted,
"OK, OK! I can't park the bloody car! You do it, you SMUG bastard!"
 
--------------------
 
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Malaysian, a Chinese, a Portuguese, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist, and an African went to a night club...

The bouncer said: "Sorry I can’t let you in without a Thai. "
 

The Cen-Tex Smoker

bgebrent said:

JohnInCarolina said:

Why did God invent alcohol?





To prevent the Irish from ruling the Earth.

I'm Irish, when I give up drinking I might run for office.

So never then?

nolaegghead

Even a blind nut occasionally gets a squirrel.

JohnInCarolina

JohnInCarolina

GATraveller

nolaegghead

Actual rigging is unheard of in the US.  Influencing, that happens all the time, but never before was a foreign power involved.

pgprescott

nolaegghead said:

Actual rigging is unheard of in the US.  Influencing, that happens all the time, but never before was a foreign power involved.

Says who. I highly doubt that is true. Maybe not to this extent, but really, never?

Btw, the current administration clumsily meddled in the Russian elections in 2012. This is the motivation behind this retaliatory action by the creep known as Putin. 

Just another example of foreign policy failure by these two bozos ( Obama / Clinton). Had they been successful, this wouldn't have happened.

JohnInCarolina

pgprescott

nolaegghead said:

Actual rigging is unheard of in the US.  Influencing, that happens all the time, but never before was a foreign power involved.

We should call it what it is " unfriendly, non voluntary, truth revelations". We don't want to label this as Russian or hacking. Surely that insults and hurts the feelings of all the Russians that weren't involved. All this bad press will be used to recruit more hackers and spies. Stop it you are inciting more of these actions! 

JohnInCarolina

nolaegghead

pgprescott said:

nolaegghead said:

Actual rigging is unheard of in the US.  Influencing, that happens all the time, but never before was a foreign power involved.

Says who. I highly doubt that is true. Maybe not to this extent, but really, never?

Btw, the current administration clumsily meddled in the Russian elections in 2012. This is the motivation behind this retaliatory action by the creep known as Putin. 

Just another example of foreign policy failure by these two bozos ( Obama / Clinton). Had they been successful, this wouldn't have happened.

oh. my. god. 

nolaegghead

pgprescott said:

nolaegghead said:

Actual rigging is unheard of in the US.  Influencing, that happens all the time, but never before was a foreign power involved.

We should call it what it is " unfriendly, non voluntary, truth revelations". We don't want to label this as Russian or hacking. Surely that insults and hurts the feelings of all the Russians that weren't involved. All this bad press will be used to recruit more hackers and spies. Stop it you are inciting more of these actions! 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_United_States_election_interference_by_Russia

I'm constantly amazed by the depth of your willful ignorance. I wish I could say that was refreshing.

JohnInCarolina

nolaegghead said:

pgprescott said:

nolaegghead said:

Actual rigging is unheard of in the US.  Influencing, that happens all the time, but never before was a foreign power involved.

We should call it what it is " unfriendly, non voluntary, truth revelations". We don't want to label this as Russian or hacking. Surely that insults and hurts the feelings of all the Russians that weren't involved. All this bad press will be used to recruit more hackers and spies. Stop it you are inciting more of these actions! 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_United_States_election_interference_by_Russia

I'm constantly amazed by the depth of your willful ignorance. I wish I could say that was refreshing.

"Some folks just take pride in being ignorant."

NPHuskerFL

North Carolina Unicorn has spoken

pgprescott

nolaegghead said:

pgprescott said:

nolaegghead said:

Actual rigging is unheard of in the US.  Influencing, that happens all the time, but never before was a foreign power involved.

We should call it what it is " unfriendly, non voluntary, truth revelations". We don't want to label this as Russian or hacking. Surely that insults and hurts the feelings of all the Russians that weren't involved. All this bad press will be used to recruit more hackers and spies. Stop it you are inciting more of these actions! 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_United_States_election_interference_by_Russia

I'm constantly amazed by the depth of your willful ignorance. I wish I could say that was refreshing.

I am saying that I'm sure others including the Russian government have certainly engaged in similar activity over the last 100 years. Maybe not the same exact thing, but it's extremely naive to believe otherwise. 

Are you denying our clumsy attempt to oust Putin in 2012? These guys just fail at everything. If they had been successful, he would have been history. They failed, he retaliated. Simple. You are the ignorant one. O

nolaegghead

Oh boy.

JohnInCarolina

HofstraJet

JohnInCarolina said:

Wrong guy.

pgprescott

JohnInCarolina said:

nolaegghead said:

pgprescott said:

nolaegghead said:

Actual rigging is unheard of in the US.  Influencing, that happens all the time, but never before was a foreign power involved.

We should call it what it is " unfriendly, non voluntary, truth revelations". We don't want to label this as Russian or hacking. Surely that insults and hurts the feelings of all the Russians that weren't involved. All this bad press will be used to recruit more hackers and spies. Stop it you are inciting more of these actions! 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_United_States_election_interference_by_Russia

I'm constantly amazed by the depth of your willful ignorance. I wish I could say that was refreshing.

"Some folks just take pride in being ignorant."

What am I ignorant of in this context? It's obvious what happened. 

I'm making fun of your ilk with the pansy ass description i.e. " workplace violence". Weak liberals have for years refused to use the term Islamic terrorism. I'm just using the lefts own logic. (Obviously tongue in cheek)

Does it seem stupid now????   

It should!!

pgprescott

Palm to forehead

JohnInCarolina

JohnInCarolina

DoubleEgger

Reince Preibus is quite telling. 

Botch

JohnInCarolina said:

Saw that on the news today, and can't comprehend hardly any of them.  And, NO state googled "free pr0n" the most?!?  

JohnInCarolina

Botch said:

JohnInCarolina said:

Saw that on the news today, and can't comprehend hardly any of them.  And, NO state googled "free pr0n" the most?!?  

Dirty Grandpa comes the closest I guess.  What's that about?

SemolinaPilchard

Maybe after January 20th they won't be shouted down.
http://www.realclearinvestigations.com/articles/2016/12/31/skeptical_climate_scientists_coming_in_from_the_cold.html

JohnInCarolina

SemolinaPilchard said:

Maybe after January 20th they won't be shouted down.
http://www.realclearinvestigations.com/articles/2016/12/31/skeptical_climate_scientists_coming_in_from_the_cold.html

Well at least you found the right thread to post that in.  LOL

SemolinaPilchard

@JohnInCarolina I am so glad you feel that way. You made my day.

JohnInCarolina

SemolinaPilchard said:

@JohnInCarolina I am so glad you feel that way. You made my day.

There are so many problems with that piece I'm not sure where to start.  I will say, however, that the death threats Raj and Michael have received are no laughing matter.