If you had @SGH's money, what would you buy?

northGAcock

I would purchase the original Batmobile. 

Botch

 

Photo Egg

tjv said:

Photo Egg said:

I would finally be able to afford to eat lunch with @RRP

@Photo Egg    I would buy a house on the beach and live on the Gulf like Photo Egg.........

Happy to trade you houses Tom

Yno

A 1934 Duesenberg SJ

henapple

Scottie a bra...  

Battleborn

This view for everyday. 

SGH

A short poem about your life with poor ole SGH’s money. Please forgive the lack of iambic pentameter, I wrote this on a whim in a rush while taking a small, mid morning dump. 

If you had SGH’s money, the sky would be dark and grey.
If you had SGH’s money, you would go hungry every day. 
If you had SGH’s money, you would hang your head in shame. 
If you had SGH’s money, you would be filling out a welfare claim. 
If you had SGH’s money, gloom and despair would follow. 
If you had SGH’s money, your bank account would be hollow.  
If you had SGH’s money, misery you would surely know.  
If you had SGH’’s money, you couldn’t afford all those hookers and blow. 
If you had SGH’s money, your wallet would be empty and meek. 
If you had SGH’s money, you couldn’t even afford to eat once a week.  
If you had SGH’s money, problems you would find.
If you had SGH’s money, you couldn’t afford to change your mind. 
If you had SGH’s money, life would not be so grand. 
If you had SGH’s money, you would always need a hand. 

Botch

There once was a shaver named Scottie,
Who composed verse whilst on the pottie,
He claims to be poor,
But who else has more,
In their fleet of John Deere's (has a lottie)?  

JohnInCarolina

CPFC1905

SGH said:

A short poem about your life with poor ole SGH’s money. Please forgive the lack of iambic pentameter, I wrote this on a whim in a rush while taking a small, mid morning dump. 

If you had SGH’s money, the sky would be dark and grey.
If you had SGH’s money, you would go hungry every day. 
If you had SGH’s money, you would hang your head in shame. 
If you had SGH’s money, you would be filling out a welfare claim. 
If you had SGH’s money, gloom and despair would follow. 
If you had SGH’s money, your bank account would be hollow.  
If you had SGH’s money, misery you would surely know.  
If you had SGH’’s money, you couldn’t afford all those hookers and blow. 
If you had SGH’s money, your wallet would be empty and meek. 
If you had SGH’s money, you couldn’t even afford to eat once a week.  
If you had SGH’s money, problems you would find.
If you had SGH’s money, you couldn’t afford to change your mind. 
If you had SGH’s money, life would not be so grand. 
If you had SGH’s money, you would always need a hand. 

Painting pictures with words.   Particularly in the opening stanza.  

nolaegghead

I would definitely hire a professional poet to write for me...

SGH

nolaegghead said:

I would definitely hire a professional poet to write for me...

I am a professional. I wrote that in the time it took to drop three turds. Pretty impressive when you think about it. I doubt that there are any other three turd poems out there it’s equal. 

alaskanassasin

I haven't seen a turd since I was introduced to beer.

Dobie

I guess a place “just this side “ of Biloxi 

nolaegghead

Who doesn't count their turds, seriously 

nolaegghead

Scottie, answer your damn phone,  MFer

lousubcap

nolaegghead said:

Who doesn't count their turds, seriously 

I obviously suffer from lack of anal muscle memory synapses across the great divide.  Short version-no count here however, a protracted wrinkle neck with length will get my attention

fiber_induced_deuce

Foghorn

Scottie protests wealth
He has more money than god
We'd all trade with him



And I didn't even have to hit the john to come up with this haiku.

bgebrent

Foghorn said:

Scottie protests wealth
He has more money than god
We'd all trade with him



And I didn't even have to hit the john to come up with this haiku.

haiku, nice.

SGH

I may right another poem here in a bit. I feel a 6 turd dump coming. 

HeavyG

Good thing we don't talk current events on this forum...that would be gross.

Legume

Where’s that shatty poetry @SGH?

nolaegghead

Here is a word
as I drop a turd

the night is young
for the ache in my bung

six plops unleashed
my limit is reached

now I'll recharge
the fiber of my innards

with an orange.

thankyouverymuch

thetrim

The longest human poop ever recorded was 26 feet. 

Jeremiah

JohnInCarolina

thetrim said:

The longest human poop ever recorded was 26 feet. 

Imagine that call to the Guinness team.  “Guys you have to get down here to measure this thing, STAT!”

saluki2007

thetrim said:

The longest human poop ever recorded was 26 feet. 

Stan Marsh?

thetrim

http://unrealfacts.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/mega-poo.jpg

thetrim

http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/records/showcase/human-body