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Fess Up- worst Christmas gift you have ever given...(STD’s don’t count)

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The Cen-Tex Smoker
The Cen-Tex Smoker Posts: 22,987
edited December 2020 in EggHead Forum
We watched SNL this weekend and there was a skit about the whole family bragging about getting everything they wanted. It showed the mom (Kristen Wiig) doing everything behind the scenes to make the magic happen and she got a robe. The dog also got a robe. Funny stuff. 

Janell looked over and said “so true”. I was like “WTF”? I like to think of myself as a fairly thoughtful gift giver but janell informed me that around 10-11 years ago I gave her a renewed subscription to XM radio. I bought it that morning and printed the receipt and put it in her stocking. She was like “thanks, you paid a bill” (she didn’t say a word then but said that yesterday). 

I don’t remember this at all (but she damn Does 😂) but I am so embarrassed by that one. 

I’m usually pretty good (I love giving gifts so I usually put some effort into it).  I’m sure I have laid a few other turds along the way but this one has the be the lowest for me. 

Can anyone beat that one? 
Keepin' It Weird in The ATX FBTX
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  • The Cen-Tex Smoker
    The Cen-Tex Smoker Posts: 22,987
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    ColtsFan said:
    I gifted a Squatty Potty a few years ago. It may have been slightly used. Maybe
    “You look like you need to sh!t better” is quite a message to send through gifting. Well done. 
    Keepin' It Weird in The ATX FBTX
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  • Cornholio
    Cornholio Posts: 1,047
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    I’m terrible at gift giving. Christmas stresses me out and I find the gift giving part to be way over done. While I’ve given people a long list of things they don’t want or need I have also been on the receiving end of a lot of gifts that end up in a drawer somewhere never to be seen until a garage sale. 

    I’ve tried to get creative in the past but it falls flat and I just suck at planning for this stuff. Yes, I am a grinch when it comes to giving gifts but I’ll put out a nice spread to eat and enjoy the conversations.. not this year though. 
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  • Corv
    Corv Posts: 382
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    A woman I knew, who lived on a ranch, would let her vehicle's tires get low. When I visited her I'd have to take everything into town and put air in them. We lived in different states and I couldn't do that regularly, so I sent her an air compressor.
    She objected, saying that "was the kind of gift a husband would give," and sent it back.
    Somewhere on the Colorado Front Range
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  • lousubcap
    lousubcap Posts: 32,536
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    There is no doubt I have dropped a few wrinkle necks over the years but the best one (that keeps on giving) is the now 18 year tradition of rolling Pulp Fiction every Christmas day, starting when the then young sons were engaged with the whole deal.  Invited (and had a couple show up) neighbors for a brief respite from the day.  SWMBO is beside herself once there is a window of opportunity to fire it up.  T-3 and change to roll again.   B)
    Louisville; Rolling smoke in the neighbourhood. # 38 for the win.  Life is too short for light/lite beer!  Seems I'm livin in a transitional period.
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  • JohnEggGio
    JohnEggGio Posts: 1,430
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    My father was impossible to buy a gift for - retired with no hobbies, few interests...  We had been in NYC for a few days, then headed back to Maryland to meet family for Christmas.  Annoyed at him (and myself) for having no ideas, we ditched into KMart - I got him a "Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia pet".  He left us 8 days later - almost 27 years ago.
    Maryland, 1 LBGE
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  • The Cen-Tex Smoker
    The Cen-Tex Smoker Posts: 22,987
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    JohnEggGio said:
    My father was impossible to buy a gift for - retired with no hobbies, few interests...  We had been in NYC for a few days, then headed back to Maryland to meet family for Christmas.  Annoyed at him (and myself) for having no ideas, we ditched into KMart - I got him a "Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia pet".  He left us 8 days later - almost 27 years ago.
    Ha ha. Greatness. I have never pushed anyone to leave this earth with a gift (that I am aware of). 
    Keepin' It Weird in The ATX FBTX
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  • The Cen-Tex Smoker
    The Cen-Tex Smoker Posts: 22,987
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    lousubcap said:
    There is no doubt I have dropped a few wrinkle necks over the years but the best one (that keeps on giving) is the now 18 year tradition of rolling Pulp Fiction every Christmas day, starting when the then young sons were engaged with the whole deal.  Invited (and had a couple show up) neighbors for a brief respite from the day.  SWMBO is beside herself once there is a window of opportunity to fire it up.  T-3 and change to roll again.   B)
    I love this so much. 
    Keepin' It Weird in The ATX FBTX
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  • BigreenGreg
    BigreenGreg Posts: 581
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    lkapigian said:


    My neices and nephew dread my gifts 




    I’m dying.
    LBGE, 36" Blackstone, Anova Pro
    Charleston, SC
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  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 15,538
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    Ah, this is gonna be another GREAT thread!   =)
     
    My last GF and I were big Foodies; we attended wine-tastings, cooking classes, always cooked for each other, even an olive-oil tasting, together.  One Valentine's Day I sprang for a bottle of very exclusive balsamic; 3 oz, $185, 50 years old or something like that, and she absolutely loved  it.  We sampled it on many things, strawberries, smoked salmon, even ice cream, wow.  
    Later, on a Christmas, the only Xmas that my Mom, sister, BIL and nephew flew out to MY place for xmas in 40 years, I got my GF another gourmet-related item, a morel mushroom farm.  Just add water, keep in a dark place, and you should be able to pick and cook morels for many months.  
    She was less than pleased.  I don't get it, I would've LOVED to have gotten that as a gift, even more than a bottle of vinegar on Valentine's Day.  On the drive back to my place, my sister finally asked, "You bought your GF a box of cow-**** for Christmas?!?"  Everyone else busted out laughing, and I still get grief about that, 15 years later.  GF followed the instructions, but only harvested one small mushroom (but that's not my fault).
    To this day, I don't get it, and probably a big reason I quit dating altogether, ten years ago... 

     

    _____________

    "There is no underwear in Space"    - Carrie Fisher


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  • Gulfcoastguy
    Gulfcoastguy Posts: 6,335
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    My two sisters kept saying that they wanted to start exercising in the new year a few years ago. I took them at their word. I bought each of them a set of kettlebells with an instructional dvd. I am an engineer, give me a problem and I will design a solution. Besides they were getting kinda chunky.
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  • nolaegghead
    nolaegghead Posts: 42,102
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    A new vacuum.
    ______________________________________________
    I love lamp..
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  • WeberWho
    WeberWho Posts: 11,047
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    We typically have 40+ people on my Mom's side during Christmas. I had a run for 5-6 years where I'd gift someone a gift but put someone else's name on it. I once gifted my cousins kid who was maybe 5 months old a coffee mug that plugs into the cigarette lighter in your car. I wrote my Uncle name on the gift. I watched my cousin go and thank my Uncle after opening it up. He had no idea what she was talking about. It makes for a good time. 
    "The pig is an amazing animal. You feed a pig an apple and it makes bacon. Let's see Michael Phelps do that" - Jim Gaffigan

    Minnesota
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  • Battleborn
    Battleborn Posts: 3,373
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    nolaegghead said:
    A new vacuum.
    I made that mistake our first Christmas after marriage. She said she wanted a new vacuum, she left out that she did not want it for Christmas. 
    Las Vegas, NV


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  • xfire_ATX
    xfire_ATX Posts: 1,119
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    Apparently as a kid/ teen I would gift my Dad odd stuff. I bought him boat bumpers one year as we never had enough and he looked at me and said just that. I quit getting him anything besides quilted flannel shirts.
    XLBGE, LBGE, Charbroil Gas Grill, Weber Q2000, Old Weber Kettle, Rectec RT-B380, Yeti 65, Yeti Hopper 20, RTIC 20, RTIC 20 Soft Side - Too many drinkware vessels to mention.

    Not quite in Austin, TX City Limits
    Just Vote- What if you could choose "none of the above" on an election ballot? Millions of Americans do just that, in effect, by not voting.  The result in 2016: "Nobody" won more counties, more states, and more electoral votes than either candidate for president. 
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  • The Cen-Tex Smoker
    The Cen-Tex Smoker Posts: 22,987
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    Battleborn said:
    nolaegghead said:
    A new vacuum.
    I made that mistake our first Christmas after marriage. She said she wanted a new vacuum, she left out that she did not want it for Christmas. 
    Just takes once for that one. Now you know. 
    Keepin' It Weird in The ATX FBTX
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  • The Cen-Tex Smoker
    The Cen-Tex Smoker Posts: 22,987
    edited December 2020
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    xfire_ATX said:
    Apparently as a kid/ teen I would gift my Dad odd stuff. I bought him boat bumpers one year as we never had enough and he looked at me and said just that. I quit getting him anything besides quilted flannel shirts.
    Ha ha the boat bumpers were actually a way more thought out gift than quilted flannels but also a subtle “eff you” for not having enough bumpers. Well done. 
    Keepin' It Weird in The ATX FBTX
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  • PigBeanUs
    PigBeanUs Posts: 932
    edited December 2020
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    I once gave my wife (swear to god) an apron and a 2cup saucepan for our anniversary. 

    She tells that story to this day, 25-ish years later. Everyone (usually broads), gives me the stink eye, and with mouth agape. 


    plot twist: it’s actually what she wanted... she asked for it. And she can buy whatever she wants whenever she wants. She just never does. 
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  • Wolfpack
    Wolfpack Posts: 3,551
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    nolaegghead said:
    A new vacuum.
    Well, I’m going to carry on this tradition this year. But I kind of gave it to the two of us and she has multiple other items she will like. 

    Will see how it goes- and it goes over poorly at least I will have a story for this thread next year. 



    Greensboro, NC
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  • frazzdaddy
    frazzdaddy Posts: 2,617
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    lousubcap said:
    There is no doubt I have dropped a few wrinkle necks over the years but the best one (that keeps on giving) is the now 18 year tradition of rolling Pulp Fiction every Christmas day, starting when the then young sons were engaged with the whole deal.  Invited (and had a couple show up) neighbors for a brief respite from the day.  SWMBO is beside herself once there is a window of opportunity to fire it up.  T-3 and change to roll again.   B)
    Top 5 movie for me cap. A room full of people that get that movie...priceless.
    Xl bge ,LG bge, two 4' crusher cone fire pits. Weber Genisis gasser and 
    Two rusty Weber kettles. 

    Two Rivers Farm
    Moncure N.C.
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  • FarmingPhD
    FarmingPhD Posts: 846
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    nolaegghead said:
    A new vacuum.
    This is actually what my wife wanted last year in a cordless version. She was thrilled.
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  • Battleborn
    Battleborn Posts: 3,373
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    JohnInCarolina said:
    Pro-tip: if you’re going to go the new vacuum route, at least make it a Dyson.
    I would say Roomba. 
    Las Vegas, NV


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  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 31,066
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    Battleborn said:
    JohnInCarolina said:
    Pro-tip: if you’re going to go the new vacuum route, at least make it a Dyson.
    I would say Roomba. 
    Ha!  It’s funny but my wife and I looked at the Cadillac version of one of those recently, because friends of ours have one and they love it.  And my wife is always complaining about how dirty our floors are.

    And yet I still know that if I bought her one for Christmas.... she would kill me.
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
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  • frazzdaddy
    frazzdaddy Posts: 2,617
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    I'm on thin ice, maybe. She said she wanted to learn to sew. I caused an upward tic in Singer stock. Hope I was right, gonna be a long cold winter if I wasn't.
    Xl bge ,LG bge, two 4' crusher cone fire pits. Weber Genisis gasser and 
    Two rusty Weber kettles. 

    Two Rivers Farm
    Moncure N.C.
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  • FarmingPhD
    FarmingPhD Posts: 846
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    @Foghorn I laughed so hard at this and sympathize at the same time.  Complicated creatures is the best description.  
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