Fess Up- worst Christmas gift you have ever given...(STD’s don’t count)

poster

Does a set of tires count as bad? I thought they were practical, I guess she didn't. 

GrateEggspectations

lousubcap said:

@CornfedMA - You go to the head of the class right there.  Good thing it was a Christmas experience or we would have never known.  But full props for telling the story.  

Agreed. I have a female friend who is exceptionally open with me and will tell share stories that can cause me to blush - even when they are embarrassing or put her in a compromising light. There is something refreshing about allowing oneself to be that vulnerable and it’s a quality that I admire in her. 

The Cen-Tex Smoker

lousubcap said:

@CornfedMA - You go to the head of the class right there.  Good thing it was a Christmas experience or we would have never known.  But full props for telling the story.  

If anyone has a story that “beats” this one, please keep to to yourself. This is a family forum. 

The Cen-Tex Smoker

poster said:

Does a set of tires count as bad? I thought they were practical, I guess she didn't. 

Oh that counts. You would be in the running if it weren’t for the rope slinger from MA. 

I think even the slightly used squatty potty would edge out tires but you may be in the running for the bronze. 

StillH2OEgger

The Cen-Tex Smoker

StillH2OEgger said:

Hey now, this is not a best present you ever gave thread.  

StillH2OEgger

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

Hey now, this is not a best present you ever gave thread.  

It most assuredly depends on who you ask.

The Cen-Tex Smoker

StillH2OEgger said:

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

Hey now, this is not a best present you ever gave thread.  

It most assuredly depends on who you ask.

There was that one time at church...

JohnInCarolina

Just think what kind of stories we’d have in this thread if Cen-Tex let STDs count.

RyanStl

Foghorn said:

One Christmas many years ago when I was working 100+ hours a week, I got to the mall on Christmas Eve just before they closed - or so I thought.  I had a plan to buy my wife some earrings.  When I get in the mall, most of the stores are still open, but the jewelry store has closed early.  "Closed" means that the gate/bars that come out of the ceiling are nearly all the way down to the floor - but they come up about 6 inches shy of the floor and there is one guy in the store closing out the register.

I can see the earrings I want to buy through one of the windows.  I call the guy over and beg him to sell them to me.  He tells me he can't.  I beg some more and he tells me the register is closed.  I beg some more and show him some cash that will more than cover the price of the earrings - and I tell him that he can ring up the sale the next time he is in the store and keep the difference.  

We transact the deal near the floor in the 6" area under the gate.

The next day she opens the earrings and proclaims that she loves them and that I have exceeded her expectations.

Thinking that she will find the story amusing, I tell her about the purchase process.

She then decides that they are the worst gift ever because I didn't spend weeks or months in stores thinking about her as I pondered the perfect gift.

I'm not sure she ever wore the earrings.

When I told this story to her brother he told me "Dude, you're my hero" because I was the most efficient Christmas shopper he has ever met.

That's one of those stories all parties can laugh about if not told too soon.

RyanStl

U_tarded said:

JohnInCarolina said:

Battleborn said:

JohnInCarolina said:

Pro-tip: if you’re going to go the new vacuum route, at least make it a Dyson.

I would say Roomba. 

Ha!  It’s funny but my wife and I looked at the Cadillac version of one of those recently, because friends of ours have one and they love it.  And my wife is always complaining about how dirty our floors are.

And yet I still know that if I bought her one for Christmas.... she would kill me.

I ordered a mid level one for my wife on Black Friday specials.  Feeling guilty I gave it to her early.  It is well worth it.  We have 2 shedding dogs bad and we were vacuuming 3-4 times a week (all tile and hardwood in our house).  This thing rings a couple hours a day and has reduced our vacuuming to once a week.  So much time saved. 

We love ours. Have one for each floor.

MO_Eggin

poster said:

Does a set of tires count as bad? I thought they were practical, I guess she didn't. 

Early gift for 2020 was winter tires AND wheels ... I did let SWMBO pick the rims 

caliking

I may still be a contender.

Just bought caliqueen a used bike. 

But... she can’t ride a bike. 

nolaegghead

Never too late to learn.  I still think you can do better....training wheels.

The Cen-Tex Smoker

caliking said:

I may still be a contender.

Just bought caliqueen a used bike. 

But... she can’t ride a bike. 

You can always say “remember that Christmas when I bought you a Jaguar”? 

caliking

nolaegghead said:

Never too late to learn.  I still think you can do better....training wheels.

Step ahead of you. The training wheels cost more than the bike, so she's getting a bubble wrap safety suit instead. 

nolaegghead

LOL

Markarm4119

My wife asked for and I delivered on her request on an 8 ' step ladder so she could clean her ceiling fan. She actually gave me a kiss on Christmas morning for it. I thought it sucked but she was happy, her whole family has the clean freak genetic disorder!

Foghorn

caliking said:

I may still be a contender.

Just bought caliqueen a used bike. 

But... she can’t ride a bike. 

I'm not sure that turning to an internet forum on the worst Christmas gift to inspire your gift buying is a great idea...

"Honey.  I'm sorry you don't like the bike, but Centex and Foghorn and the boys on the internet sure got a kick out of the fact that I gave it to you."

SciAggie

caliking said:d

I may still be a contender.

Just bought caliqueen a used bike. 

But... she can’t ride a bike. 

The original Peloton - analog version 1.0

WeberWho

Markarm4119 said:

My wife asked for and I delivered on her request on an 8 ' step ladder so she could clean her ceiling fan. She actually gave me a kiss on Christmas morning for it. I thought it sucked but she was happy, her whole family has the clean freak genetic disorder!

The only gift my wife wanted this year was a new printer. I couldn't get anything else out of her. "Just a printer". 

caliking

Foghorn said:

"Honey.  I'm sorry you don't like the bike, but Centex and Foghorn and the boys on the internet sure got a kick out of the fact that I gave it to you."

A good third of our conversations start with "Honey.  I'm sorry you don't like _____, but Centex and Foghorn and the boys on the internet sure got a kick out of ..."

JethroVA

Along the lines of Caliking but not at Christmas.  For her birthday once, I thought of something romantic and fun to do together.  His and her bicycles.  That was a big nope.  She reminds me of it about once a year. 

JohnInCarolina

caliking said:

Foghorn said:

"Honey.  I'm sorry you don't like the bike, but Centex and Foghorn and the boys on the internet sure got a kick out of the fact that I gave it to you."

A good third of our conversations start with "Honey.  I'm sorry you don't like _____, but Centex and Foghorn and the boys on the internet sure got a kick out of ..."

That helps explain the look on Shruti’s face whenever she joins the Zoom calls...

lousubcap

Window of opportunity has opened and Pulp Fiction is rolling.  
Merry Christmas!

nolaegghead

We watched Elf. 

Pulp Fiction is a tradition when my family is together for xmas.

frazzdaddy

So my wife puts together a nice gift bag with wine cheese and some chocolates for our good friends . Let our friends know she dropped it off at their garage.  Friend calls later to report they have a video of a delivery driver taking it. It had a card addressed the our friends. The irony here is that one of them is a federal defense attorney. I might post the video later.

CTMike

caliking said:

Foghorn said:

"Honey.  I'm sorry you don't like the bike, but Centex and Foghorn and the boys on the internet sure got a kick out of the fact that I gave it to you."

A good third of our conversations start with "Honey.  I'm sorry you don't like _____, but Centex and Foghorn and the boys on the internet sure got a kick out of ..."

The other two-thirds consist of:

”Honey, I’m sorry for spending money on this latest gizmo for the Egg, but Centex and Foghorn and the boys on the internet said it works great and is a must have.”

womaus

CornfedMA said:

Fair warning. This one is at least PG-13. Read on, or don’t. 

Ok. When we were 16, we all had that one girl in school we were after. Well around Christmas about 22 yrs ago, I had worked up the courage to ask her out. We had been out together a few times. December 23rd was our 3rd or 4th date. I pick her up for a night out. Went to a movie I think. The night was going really well. I bring her home afterward and her folks were still out at a late night Xmas party. We decided to get to know each other a bit better on the loveseat next to the tree. Before things went too far, in my teenage excitement, I left an unintended surprise all over the Xmas gifts a few feet away. I was crushed with embarrassment and she had to spend the next couple hours opening and re-wrapping all the gifts under the tree. Easily the worst “gift” I’ve given anyone, ever. 

That's what happens when you don't wrap your presence...