Back to front.  All day - every day.

Yup sitting.  The lower the toilet the better unless you have the squatty potty.

smokingal said:

thetrim said:

Back to front.  All day - every day.

For women, this needs to be the reverse.
I wasn't going to chime in on this one, but since I've encountered so many grown @$$ women who have no idea they need to do this, I felt compelled.  

This is a frequent topic?  Didn’t see that coming.

thetrim said:

Back to front.  All day - every day.

This methodology seems like it would punish all the tea-baggers.

My apologies for the delayed response @CTMike, but I do have thoughts on the matter, and needed a moment to sit down and compose them, as this is close to my heart (not anatomically).

Personally, I'm appalled by the concept of using toilet paper to keep the window to one's soul "clean". In many countries (including India, where I grew up for quite some time), one washes one's bunghole with just plain water, using the "sinister" (left) hand. Whether rich or poor. For a number of reasons - tradition, Vedic ritual, thoughts re: hygiene, non-availability of good quality TP, and so on. This actually makes some sense, especially if you think about conserving resources (paper), and even if you've had a kid who thinks they need the WHOLE roll to wipe their arse. Water is definitely easier on that sensitive part of you, and cleans ya quicker and easier than TP. And just a bidet or Japanese toilet seat won't do it all - you need to get that hand in there. 

But a big issue is wet butt i.e. the rivulet(s) of water that invariably run(s) down one or both legs when you stand up afterwards. A close friend and I have concluded, after extensive, independent trials, that the optimal method involves water, one's left hand, and a single Kirkland brand wipe for the finale.

The issue is that US toilets are not equipped with a convenient water source in close proximity to the commode. Which is why my next house will be built to address that issue, with either a faucet or (preferably) a kitchen-type sprayer within arms reach of each porcelain throne. 

There. I'll bet you think that I'm not being serious...

(PS - any and all innuendoes were very much intended). 

I had a friend who was a little person.  He needed to use a poop stick.

I'm like at the gym, back day arm day leg day etc

rimmers beware....

caliking said:

My apologies for the delayed response @CTMike, but I do have thoughts on the matter, and needed a moment to sit down and compose them, as this is close to my heart (not anatomically).

Personally, I'm appalled by the concept of using toilet paper to keep the window to one's soul "clean". In many countries (including India, where I grew up for quite some time), one washes one's bunghole with just plain water, using the "sinister" (left) hand. Whether rich or poor. For a number of reasons - tradition, Vedic ritual, thoughts re: hygiene, non-availability of good quality TP, and so on. This actually makes some sense, especially if you think about conserving resources (paper), and even if you've had a kid who thinks they need the WHOLE roll to wipe their arse. Water is definitely easier on that sensitive part of you, and cleans ya quicker and easier than TP. And just a bidet or Japanese toilet seat won't do it all - you need to get that hand in there. 

But a big issue is wet butt i.e. the rivulet(s) of water that invariably run(s) down one or both legs when you stand up afterwards. A close friend and I have concluded, after extensive, independent trials, that the optimal method involves water, one's left hand, and a single Kirkland brand wipe for the finale.

The issue is that US toilets are not equipped with a convenient water source in close proximity to the commode. Which is why my next house will be built to address that issue, with either a faucet or (preferably) a kitchen-type sprayer within arms reach of each porcelain throne. 

There. I'll bet you think that I'm not being serious...

(PS - any and all innuendoes were very much intended). 

Just as a follow on to this, my understanding is that in many cultures, people use their left hands to clean themselves and their right hands to eat with, since you obviously can’t eat with the same hand you use to do the dirty, right?  I’m sure we can all agree to this basic premise.

This is what makes some of the punishment in certain countries particularly cruel.  For example, Saudi Arabia has cut off the hands of thieves when they are caught.  Which hand do they cut off?  The right one, so that the culprit is left with the choice: stop cleaning yourself or starve to death.  

What a time to be alive.

caliking said:

The issue is that US toilets are not equipped with a convenient water source in close proximity to the commode.

What are you talking about - there is an entire bowl of water just below said area of cleaning, duh!