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OT: Why Do I Think Of @caliking When I Read This Article

CTMikeCTMike Posts: 2,126
MMBGE / Large BGE / XL BGE (Craigslist Find) / SF30x80 cabinet trailer - "Ol' Mortimer" / Outdoor kitchen in progress.  

Southeastern CT. 
«13

Comments

  • HeavyGHeavyG Posts: 6,305
    Popular Mechanics sure has changed.
    Camped out in the (757/804)
  • CTMikeCTMike Posts: 2,126
    HeavyG said:
    Popular Mechanics sure has changed.
    That’s for sure
    MMBGE / Large BGE / XL BGE (Craigslist Find) / SF30x80 cabinet trailer - "Ol' Mortimer" / Outdoor kitchen in progress.  

    Southeastern CT. 
  • lkapigianlkapigian Posts: 5,205

    Visalia, Ca
  • thetrimthetrim Posts: 8,905
    Back to front.  All day - every day.
    =======================================
    XL 6/06, Mini 6/12, L 10/12, Mini #2 12/14 MiniMax 3/16
    Tampa Bay, FL
    EIB 6 Oct 95
  • johnnypjohnnyp Posts: 3,445
    thetrim said:
    Back to front.  All day - every day.
    sitting, through the middle
    XL & MM BGE, 36" Blackstone - Newport News, VA
  • thetrimthetrim Posts: 8,905
    Yup sitting.  The lower the toilet the better unless you have the squatty potty.
    =======================================
    XL 6/06, Mini 6/12, L 10/12, Mini #2 12/14 MiniMax 3/16
    Tampa Bay, FL
    EIB 6 Oct 95
  • thetrimthetrim Posts: 8,905
    =======================================
    XL 6/06, Mini 6/12, L 10/12, Mini #2 12/14 MiniMax 3/16
    Tampa Bay, FL
    EIB 6 Oct 95
  • nolaeggheadnolaegghead Posts: 31,142
    Advantages to not cleaning your ass:
    1. Save time
    2. Build up killer immune system
    3. Deterrent to ass-rape
    4. In-laws don't stay as long
    5. Easier to tell if skivvies are clean or dirty
    ______________________________________________
    This is my signature line just so you're not confused.  Love me or hate me, I am forum Marmite.
    Large and Medium BGE, Kamado Joe Jr, Akorn Jr, smoker with a 5k btu AC, gas grill, fire pit, pack of angry cats, two turntables and a microphone, my friend.  Registered republican.
    New Orleans, LA - we know how to eat 

  • nolaeggheadnolaegghead Posts: 31,142
    (disclaimer - not that I'm in that camp)
    ______________________________________________
    This is my signature line just so you're not confused.  Love me or hate me, I am forum Marmite.
    Large and Medium BGE, Kamado Joe Jr, Akorn Jr, smoker with a 5k btu AC, gas grill, fire pit, pack of angry cats, two turntables and a microphone, my friend.  Registered republican.
    New Orleans, LA - we know how to eat 

  • Get enough fiber and the wipin’ is easy.
    I have a very large vegetable garden.  Very large.
    Just this side of the ATL.
  • smokingalsmokingal Posts: 650
    edited May 15
    thetrim said:
    Back to front.  All day - every day.
    For women, this needs to be the reverse.
    I wasn't going to chime in on this one, but since I've encountered so many grown @$$ women who have no idea they need to do this, I felt compelled.  
    It's "Smokin Gal", not "Smoking Al".
    Egging in the Atlanta GA region
    Large BGE, CGS setup, Kick Ash Basket, Smokeware SS Cap,
    Arteflame grill grate

    http://barbecueaddict.com
  • LegumeLegume Posts: 9,814
    smokingal said:
    thetrim said:
    Back to front.  All day - every day.
    For women, this needs to be the reverse.
    I wasn't going to chime in on this one, but since I've encountered so many grown @$$ women who have no idea they need to do this, I felt compelled.  
    This is a frequent topic?  Didn’t see that coming.
    Austin, TX
  • LegumeLegume Posts: 9,814
    And btw, thanks a lot @caliking for inspiring this thread.  I blame you.
    Austin, TX
  • nolaeggheadnolaegghead Posts: 31,142
    thetrim said:
    Back to front.  All day - every day.
    This methodology seems like it would punish all the tea-baggers.
    ______________________________________________
    This is my signature line just so you're not confused.  Love me or hate me, I am forum Marmite.
    Large and Medium BGE, Kamado Joe Jr, Akorn Jr, smoker with a 5k btu AC, gas grill, fire pit, pack of angry cats, two turntables and a microphone, my friend.  Registered republican.
    New Orleans, LA - we know how to eat 

  • smokingalsmokingal Posts: 650
    Legume said:
    smokingal said:
    thetrim said:
    Back to front.  All day - every day.
    For women, this needs to be the reverse.
    I wasn't going to chime in on this one, but since I've encountered so many grown @$$ women who have no idea they need to do this, I felt compelled.  
    This is a frequent topic?  Didn’t see that coming.
    At least once a month.  Usually while discussing some woman's latest UTI, babies, general cleansing and grooming habits, or how women with long, sculpted nails manage going to the bathroom.  Sometimes ignorance really is bliss, huh?
    It's "Smokin Gal", not "Smoking Al".
    Egging in the Atlanta GA region
    Large BGE, CGS setup, Kick Ash Basket, Smokeware SS Cap,
    Arteflame grill grate

    http://barbecueaddict.com
  • HeavyGHeavyG Posts: 6,305
    WIping... who still does that?

    Camped out in the (757/804)
  • CTMikeCTMike Posts: 2,126
    smokingal said:
    thetrim said:
    Back to front.  All day - every day.
    For women, this needs to be the reverse.
    I wasn't going to chime in on this one, but since I've encountered so many grown @$$ women who have no idea they need to do this, I felt compelled.  
    Was in a public restroom a while back, and a dad came in with his young daughter (6 - 8 I’d guess). She went in to the stall to do her business, and everyone can hear “Front to back, front to back, mommy said wipe front to back” in a singsong voice. 
    MMBGE / Large BGE / XL BGE (Craigslist Find) / SF30x80 cabinet trailer - "Ol' Mortimer" / Outdoor kitchen in progress.  

    Southeastern CT. 
  • calikingcaliking Posts: 12,626
    My apologies for the delayed response @CTMike, but I do have thoughts on the matter, and needed a moment to sit down and compose them, as this is close to my heart (not anatomically).

    Personally, I'm appalled by the concept of using toilet paper to keep the window to one's soul "clean". In many countries (including India, where I grew up for quite some time), one washes one's bunghole with just plain water, using the "sinister" (left) hand. Whether rich or poor. For a number of reasons - tradition, Vedic ritual, thoughts re: hygiene, non-availability of good quality TP, and so on. This actually makes some sense, especially if you think about conserving resources (paper), and even if you've had a kid who thinks they need the WHOLE roll to wipe their arse. Water is definitely easier on that sensitive part of you, and cleans ya quicker and easier than TP. And just a bidet or Japanese toilet seat won't do it all - you need to get that hand in there. 

    But a big issue is wet butt i.e. the rivulet(s) of water that invariably run(s) down one or both legs when you stand up afterwards. A close friend and I have concluded, after extensive, independent trials, that the optimal method involves water, one's left hand, and a single Kirkland brand wipe for the finale.

    The issue is that US toilets are not equipped with a convenient water source in close proximity to the commode. Which is why my next house will be built to address that issue, with either a faucet or (preferably) a kitchen-type sprayer within arms reach of each porcelain throne. 

    There. I'll bet you think that I'm not being serious...

    (PS - any and all innuendoes were very much intended). 

    #1 LBGE December 2012 • #2 SBGE February  2013 • #3 Mini May 2013
    A happy BGE family in Houston, TX.
  • calikingcaliking Posts: 12,626
    Advantages to not cleaning your ass:
    1. Save time
    2. Build up killer immune system
    3. Deterrent to ass-rape
    4. In-laws don't stay as long
    5. Easier to tell if skivvies are clean or dirty
    Most of these points may hold true, but 2... ummmm, not really. 

    #1 LBGE December 2012 • #2 SBGE February  2013 • #3 Mini May 2013
    A happy BGE family in Houston, TX.
  • Ozzie_IsaacOzzie_Isaac Posts: 9,416
    I had a friend who was a little person.  He needed to use a poop stick.
    If it is worth doing, it is worth overdoing.

    XL, Medium, Minimax, Mini, Blackstone, WSM
  • YukonRonYukonRon Posts: 14,150
    And I opened this thinking another killer cook was on display.

    Thanks Mike.
    "Knowledge is Good" - Emil Faber

    XL and MM
    Louisville, Kentucky
  • lkapigianlkapigian Posts: 5,205
    I'm like at the gym, back day arm day leg day etc
    Visalia, Ca
  • EggcelsiorEggcelsior Posts: 14,283
    smokingal said:
    Legume said:
    smokingal said:
    thetrim said:
    Back to front.  All day - every day.
    For women, this needs to be the reverse.
    I wasn't going to chime in on this one, but since I've encountered so many grown @$$ women who have no idea they need to do this, I felt compelled.  
    This is a frequent topic?  Didn’t see that coming.
    At least once a month.  Usually while discussing some woman's latest UTI, babies, general cleansing and grooming habits, or how women with long, sculpted nails manage going to the bathroom.  Sometimes ignorance really is bliss, huh?
    Don’t forget about urinating after making babies too.

    There is a reason E. Coli is the most common bacteria when a UC comes back. Front to back, friends.
  • thetrimthetrim Posts: 8,905
    I need to co to counseling after reading what @caliking chimed in with. 

    =======================================
    XL 6/06, Mini 6/12, L 10/12, Mini #2 12/14 MiniMax 3/16
    Tampa Bay, FL
    EIB 6 Oct 95
  • smokingalsmokingal Posts: 650
    smokingal said:
    Legume said:
    smokingal said:
    thetrim said:
    Back to front.  All day - every day.
    For women, this needs to be the reverse.
    I wasn't going to chime in on this one, but since I've encountered so many grown @$$ women who have no idea they need to do this, I felt compelled.  
    This is a frequent topic?  Didn’t see that coming.
    At least once a month.  Usually while discussing some woman's latest UTI, babies, general cleansing and grooming habits, or how women with long, sculpted nails manage going to the bathroom.  Sometimes ignorance really is bliss, huh?
    Don’t forget about urinating after making babies too.

    A lot of women don't know this either.
    It's "Smokin Gal", not "Smoking Al".
    Egging in the Atlanta GA region
    Large BGE, CGS setup, Kick Ash Basket, Smokeware SS Cap,
    Arteflame grill grate

    http://barbecueaddict.com
  • JohnInCarolinaJohnInCarolina Posts: 14,957
    caliking said:
    My apologies for the delayed response @CTMike, but I do have thoughts on the matter, and needed a moment to sit down and compose them, as this is close to my heart (not anatomically).

    Personally, I'm appalled by the concept of using toilet paper to keep the window to one's soul "clean". In many countries (including India, where I grew up for quite some time), one washes one's bunghole with just plain water, using the "sinister" (left) hand. Whether rich or poor. For a number of reasons - tradition, Vedic ritual, thoughts re: hygiene, non-availability of good quality TP, and so on. This actually makes some sense, especially if you think about conserving resources (paper), and even if you've had a kid who thinks they need the WHOLE roll to wipe their arse. Water is definitely easier on that sensitive part of you, and cleans ya quicker and easier than TP. And just a bidet or Japanese toilet seat won't do it all - you need to get that hand in there. 

    But a big issue is wet butt i.e. the rivulet(s) of water that invariably run(s) down one or both legs when you stand up afterwards. A close friend and I have concluded, after extensive, independent trials, that the optimal method involves water, one's left hand, and a single Kirkland brand wipe for the finale.

    The issue is that US toilets are not equipped with a convenient water source in close proximity to the commode. Which is why my next house will be built to address that issue, with either a faucet or (preferably) a kitchen-type sprayer within arms reach of each porcelain throne. 

    There. I'll bet you think that I'm not being serious...

    (PS - any and all innuendoes were very much intended). 
    Just as a follow on to this, my understanding is that in many cultures, people use their left hands to clean themselves and their right hands to eat with, since you obviously can’t eat with the same hand you use to do the dirty, right?  I’m sure we can all agree to this basic premise.

    This is what makes some of the punishment in certain countries particularly cruel.  For example, Saudi Arabia has cut off the hands of thieves when they are caught.  Which hand do they cut off?  The right one, so that the culprit is left with the choice: stop cleaning yourself or starve to death.  

    What a time to be alive.
    "A generation of the unteachable is hanging upon us like a necklace of corpses." - George Orwell 

    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike


  • JohnInCarolinaJohnInCarolina Posts: 14,957
    By the way this snippet from the article Mike posted made me laugh:



    That Reddit user name sure is on brand!  And I love that Popular Mechanics is quoting a Mr. YouAllSuck6 as some kind of authority on ass-cleaning.
    "A generation of the unteachable is hanging upon us like a necklace of corpses." - George Orwell 

    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike


  • Brisket_FanaticBrisket_Fanatic Posts: 2,795
    caliking said:


    The issue is that US toilets are not equipped with a convenient water source in close proximity to the commode.


    What are you talking about - there is an entire bowl of water just below said area of cleaning, duh!

    NW IA

    2 LBGE, 1 SBGE, 22.5 WSM, 1 Smokey Joe

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