OT: Why Do I Think Of @caliking When I Read This Article

CTMike

@caliking, 

Can you confirm that this is solid advice?

https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/health/a22866622/clean-your-butt/?utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=socialflowFBPOP&utm_medium=social-media&fbclid=IwAR2wU1G9ioVqUYIhEywVTOPjdahgBp-NkYMREtB3PVSDUYtksYZy4_IvEnI

HeavyG

Popular Mechanics sure has changed.

CTMike

HeavyG said:

Popular Mechanics sure has changed.

That’s for sure

lkapigian

https://youtu.be/uldt6Y-CE3s

thetrim

Back to front.  All day - every day.

johnnyp

thetrim said:

Back to front.  All day - every day.

sitting, through the middle

thetrim

Yup sitting.  The lower the toilet the better unless you have the squatty potty.

thetrim

https://www.squattypotty.com

nolaegghead

Advantages to not cleaning your ass:

1. Save time

2. Build up killer immune system

3. Deterrent to ass-rape

4. In-laws don't stay as long

5. Easier to tell if skivvies are clean or dirty

nolaegghead

(disclaimer - not that I'm in that camp)

fiber_induced_deuce

Get enough fiber and the wipin’ is easy.

smokingal

thetrim said:

Back to front.  All day - every day.

For women, this needs to be the reverse.
I wasn't going to chime in on this one, but since I've encountered so many grown @$$ women who have no idea they need to do this, I felt compelled.  

Legume

smokingal said:

thetrim said:

Back to front.  All day - every day.

For women, this needs to be the reverse.
I wasn't going to chime in on this one, but since I've encountered so many grown @$$ women who have no idea they need to do this, I felt compelled.  

This is a frequent topic?  Didn’t see that coming.

Legume

And btw, thanks a lot @caliking for inspiring this thread.  I blame you.

nolaegghead

thetrim said:

Back to front.  All day - every day.

This methodology seems like it would punish all the tea-baggers.

smokingal

Legume said:

smokingal said:

thetrim said:

Back to front.  All day - every day.

For women, this needs to be the reverse.
I wasn't going to chime in on this one, but since I've encountered so many grown @$$ women who have no idea they need to do this, I felt compelled.  

This is a frequent topic?  Didn’t see that coming.

At least once a month.  Usually while discussing some woman's latest UTI, babies, general cleansing and grooming habits, or how women with long, sculpted nails manage going to the bathroom.  Sometimes ignorance really is bliss, huh?

HeavyG

WIping... who still does that?

CTMike

smokingal said:

thetrim said:

Back to front.  All day - every day.

For women, this needs to be the reverse.
I wasn't going to chime in on this one, but since I've encountered so many grown @$$ women who have no idea they need to do this, I felt compelled.  

Was in a public restroom a while back, and a dad came in with his young daughter (6 - 8 I’d guess). She went in to the stall to do her business, and everyone can hear “Front to back, front to back, mommy said wipe front to back” in a singsong voice. 

caliking

My apologies for the delayed response @CTMike, but I do have thoughts on the matter, and needed a moment to sit down and compose them, as this is close to my heart (not anatomically).

Personally, I'm appalled by the concept of using toilet paper to keep the window to one's soul "clean". In many countries (including India, where I grew up for quite some time), one washes one's bunghole with just plain water, using the "sinister" (left) hand. Whether rich or poor. For a number of reasons - tradition, Vedic ritual, thoughts re: hygiene, non-availability of good quality TP, and so on. This actually makes some sense, especially if you think about conserving resources (paper), and even if you've had a kid who thinks they need the WHOLE roll to wipe their arse. Water is definitely easier on that sensitive part of you, and cleans ya quicker and easier than TP. And just a bidet or Japanese toilet seat won't do it all - you need to get that hand in there. 

But a big issue is wet butt i.e. the rivulet(s) of water that invariably run(s) down one or both legs when you stand up afterwards. A close friend and I have concluded, after extensive, independent trials, that the optimal method involves water, one's left hand, and a single Kirkland brand wipe for the finale.

The issue is that US toilets are not equipped with a convenient water source in close proximity to the commode. Which is why my next house will be built to address that issue, with either a faucet or (preferably) a kitchen-type sprayer within arms reach of each porcelain throne. 

There. I'll bet you think that I'm not being serious...

(PS - any and all innuendoes were very much intended). 

caliking

nolaegghead said:

Advantages to not cleaning your ass:

1. Save time

2. Build up killer immune system

3. Deterrent to ass-rape

4. In-laws don't stay as long

5. Easier to tell if skivvies are clean or dirty

Most of these points may hold true, but 2... ummmm, not really. 

Ozzie_Isaac

I had a friend who was a little person.  He needed to use a poop stick.

YukonRon

And I opened this thinking another killer cook was on display.

Thanks Mike.

lkapigian

I'm like at the gym, back day arm day leg day etc

Eggcelsior

smokingal said:

Legume said:

smokingal said:

thetrim said:

Back to front.  All day - every day.

For women, this needs to be the reverse.
I wasn't going to chime in on this one, but since I've encountered so many grown @$$ women who have no idea they need to do this, I felt compelled.  

This is a frequent topic?  Didn’t see that coming.

At least once a month.  Usually while discussing some woman's latest UTI, babies, general cleansing and grooming habits, or how women with long, sculpted nails manage going to the bathroom.  Sometimes ignorance really is bliss, huh?

Don’t forget about urinating after making babies too.

There is a reason E. Coli is the most common bacteria when a UC comes back. Front to back, friends.

fishlessman

rimmers beware....

thetrim

I need to co to counseling after reading what @caliking chimed in with. 

caliking

thetrim said:

I need to co to counseling after reading what @caliking chimed in with. 

You needed counseling before reading that

smokingal

Eggcelsior said:

smokingal said:

Legume said:

smokingal said:

thetrim said:

Back to front.  All day - every day.

For women, this needs to be the reverse.
I wasn't going to chime in on this one, but since I've encountered so many grown @$$ women who have no idea they need to do this, I felt compelled.  

This is a frequent topic?  Didn’t see that coming.

At least once a month.  Usually while discussing some woman's latest UTI, babies, general cleansing and grooming habits, or how women with long, sculpted nails manage going to the bathroom.  Sometimes ignorance really is bliss, huh?

Don’t forget about urinating after making babies too.

A lot of women don't know this either.

JohnInCarolina

caliking said:

My apologies for the delayed response @CTMike, but I do have thoughts on the matter, and needed a moment to sit down and compose them, as this is close to my heart (not anatomically).

Personally, I'm appalled by the concept of using toilet paper to keep the window to one's soul "clean". In many countries (including India, where I grew up for quite some time), one washes one's bunghole with just plain water, using the "sinister" (left) hand. Whether rich or poor. For a number of reasons - tradition, Vedic ritual, thoughts re: hygiene, non-availability of good quality TP, and so on. This actually makes some sense, especially if you think about conserving resources (paper), and even if you've had a kid who thinks they need the WHOLE roll to wipe their arse. Water is definitely easier on that sensitive part of you, and cleans ya quicker and easier than TP. And just a bidet or Japanese toilet seat won't do it all - you need to get that hand in there. 

But a big issue is wet butt i.e. the rivulet(s) of water that invariably run(s) down one or both legs when you stand up afterwards. A close friend and I have concluded, after extensive, independent trials, that the optimal method involves water, one's left hand, and a single Kirkland brand wipe for the finale.

The issue is that US toilets are not equipped with a convenient water source in close proximity to the commode. Which is why my next house will be built to address that issue, with either a faucet or (preferably) a kitchen-type sprayer within arms reach of each porcelain throne. 

There. I'll bet you think that I'm not being serious...

(PS - any and all innuendoes were very much intended). 

Just as a follow on to this, my understanding is that in many cultures, people use their left hands to clean themselves and their right hands to eat with, since you obviously can’t eat with the same hand you use to do the dirty, right?  I’m sure we can all agree to this basic premise.

This is what makes some of the punishment in certain countries particularly cruel.  For example, Saudi Arabia has cut off the hands of thieves when they are caught.  Which hand do they cut off?  The right one, so that the culprit is left with the choice: stop cleaning yourself or starve to death.  

What a time to be alive.

JohnInCarolina

By the way this snippet from the article Mike posted made me laugh:



That Reddit user name sure is on brand!  And I love that Popular Mechanics is quoting a Mr. YouAllSuck6 as some kind of authority on ass-cleaning.

Brisket_Fanatic

caliking said:

The issue is that US toilets are not equipped with a convenient water source in close proximity to the commode.

What are you talking about - there is an entire bowl of water just below said area of cleaning, duh!