Have a funny/disastrous grilling story? Tell it

FarmerTom · February 2016

Surely more than me have royally screwed up with their grills.
Wife was gone and I got in late and tired from farm work one night, a little before 11. Fired up my M and pattied out a big burger (at least a half pound ), de-silked an ear of sweet corn, smeared it with butter, closed the shucks back and wrapped it in AF. Opened a can of Bush's Baked Beans and put it all on the grill. A little after 11 by now.
So I sat down in a chair right there by the grill knowing this wouldn't take very long. And I woke up about 1:30. Aww sh|t!!!!! Opened the egg and the charcoal was almost all burned up. The burger resembled a hockey puck. In both appearance and consistency. Tried to remove it and it began to shatter it was so hard. Checked the can of beans. Can was half full. No moisture remained. Looked like little black eyed peas in there. Maybe the corn survived so I grabbed the foil wrapped ear of corn. Lite as a feather. Guess every molecule of water had steamed out of it. Truly pathetic looking.
Nothing left to do but throw in a little more lump and light it. Grabbed a couple of hot dogs and threw them on. Stood up while they cooked. Got to eat a little after 2. Then get a shower and hit the sack.
Still don't know how I managed to not fall out of the chair. No arm rests, just a hard, straight metal chair with a back and a bottom. Lesson learned, don't go to sleep at the grill, especially when you're alone.

FlashkaBob · February 2016

WHAT A DISASTER !! First attempt at pizza. HELP ! (please)

FlashkaBob Posts: 335

January 2013 in EggHead Forum

O.K. Here's the story. Got a pizza stone by Grill Pro for Xmas. Thought I would make a pizza for supper tonight. Made the dough, let it rise, kneaded for another minute and to gauge the size, formed it into a pizza pan that just happened to be the same size as the stone. Transferred the dough back to the stone. I applied the sauce, then a layer of mozzarella cheese followed by some pepperoni and Thuringer sausage, green peppers, onions, pineapple and topped with a second layer of mozzarella. It looked great. Then I read the directions on the back of the box the stone came in. "Preheat the stone on your grill or in your oven." How am I gonna do that with a pizza sitting on it? FINE! I'll move the whole thing back to the pan I started with. That was the second mistake. Moist pizza on a rock. Doesn't slide off real easy. A couple of spatula's and finally the peel later, I get the pizza transferred back to the pan. Now it looks a little worse for wear, but not the end of the world. BGE was warming up outside. take the stone out and placed it on the platesetter. The stone came with a SS rack that I left on to provide an air space underneath. Temp. was still climbing on its way to 650. Time to put the pizza on. Spatula in hand, and pizza in the other, I open the egg and position myself to slide it off the pan and onto the stone. Raw pizza doesn't slide off of a teflon pan any easier than off a stone. Cheese slide off pretty good though (along with sauce and some of the meat. Dough is now folding up. Grill is getting colder / fire is getting hotter. Getting frustrated. Scrape all the crap into a pile on the stone. After about 10 minutes, I decide to check the crust to see if its done. You know that high temperature adhesive that holds the gasket in place? I think I just invented an even better product. Chipping away with the spatula, the whole thing almost ended up in the fire. Finally got it separated from the stone and called SWMBO in to eat. She tried to be supportive by saying it still tastes good, but I could tell she was laughing her ass off. Can some one please tell me how to do this properly?

Mickey · February 2016

Adult beverage and a nap involved.

SunDeviledEgg · February 2016

I read the entire "eating when far away from home" thread. Huge disaster.

Ladeback69 · February 2016

FlashkaBob said:

WHAT A DISASTER !! First attempt at pizza. HELP ! (please)
FlashkaBob Posts: 335
January 2013 in EggHead Forum
O.K. Here's the story. Got a pizza stone by Grill Pro for Xmas. Thought I would make a pizza for supper tonight. Made the dough, let it rise, kneaded for another minute and to gauge the size, formed it into a pizza pan that just happened to be the same size as the stone. Transferred the dough back to the stone. I applied the sauce, then a layer of mozzarella cheese followed by some pepperoni and Thuringer sausage, green peppers, onions, pineapple and topped with a second layer of mozzarella. It looked great. Then I read the directions on the back of the box the stone came in. "Preheat the stone on your grill or in your oven." How am I gonna do that with a pizza sitting on it? FINE! I'll move the whole thing back to the pan I started with. That was the second mistake. Moist pizza on a rock. Doesn't slide off real easy. A couple of spatula's and finally the peel later, I get the nowza transferred back to the pan. Now it looks a little worse for wear, but not the end of the world. BGE was warming up outside. take the stone out and placed it on the platesetter. The stone came with a SS rack that I left on to provide an air space underneath. Temp. was still climbing on its way to 650. Time to put the pizza on. Spatula in hand, and pizza in the other, I open the egg and position myself to slide it off the pan and onto the stone. Raw pizza doesn't slide off of a teflon pan any easier than off a stone. Cheese slide off pretty good though (along with sauce and some of the meat. Dough is now folding up. Grill is getting colder / fire is getting hotter. Getting frustrated. Scrape all the crap into a pile on the stone. After about 10 minutes, I decide to check the crust to see if its done. You know that high temperature adhesive that holds the gasket in place? I think I just invented an even better product. Chipping away with the spatula, the whole thing almost ended up in the fire. Finally got it separated from the stone and called SWMBO in to eat. She tried to be supportive by saying it still tastes good, but I could tell she was laughing her ass off. Can some one please tell me how to do this properly?

I take it you use parchment paper or corn meal now? We did that same thing in a pizza class, but made it into a strombolie and moved it on to parchment paper. Have you done pizza again?

FlashkaBob · February 2016

@Ladeback69 That was originally posted in 2013. Since then I have become a pizza guru. I enjoy my pizzas better than any pizza joints now. That was part of the learning curve of the Newbee.

toogoodootgr · February 2016

When I was in college I was living on a pretty limited income. My roommate and I bought some nice t-bones to cook one night. While I was in class my roommate decided to "marinate" the steaks. He decided he would use some Jack Daniels and other herbs and spices. I got home from class and he was excited about this concoction he had made for the steaks. I was a little skeptical, but i figure it would be ok. Needless to say, you couldn't even keep the steaks on the grill. There was so much alcohol in the steaks that the grill just flamed. We tried to eat them, but they tasted like a shot of whiskey. The dog wouldn't even eat the dang things. We are still great friends and I bring this story up as often as possible. You should have seen the flames coming out of the grill. He basically soaked the steaks in a gallon Ziploc bag with salt pepper and jack daniels.

Focker · February 2016

Egged a partially frozen turkey for Thanksgiving and left the giblet pack in the neck. Cut into it while carving. Still get sh!t from the fam for that one.

lkapigian · February 2016

Prime Brisket Cook- Hooked up Stoker Fan, Failed to put the probes in, fired it up and passed out--no idea how hot the Egg got

http://eggheadforum.com/discussion/1190706/tequilla-prime-brisket-sorry-no-pictures#latest

Biggreenpharmacist · February 2016

Before I got my egg I had a gasser on the porch. Finished grilling one night after a beer filled afternoon and cranked up all four burners to "clean" the grates. Promptly ate supper and passed out. Woke up the next morning to see the knobs still on high, propane bottle empty, and half the siding on one wall of the back porch melted off. Lucky I didnt burn down the damn house. I basically have quit drinking at home since.

At the camp, I roll my egg out away from everything snd all bets are off.

MO_Eggin · February 2016

A few years ago the Mrs. asked for egged pizza for her birthday dinner. Pie came off the egg looking great, until I tried to remove my "crutch". That was when I learned the difference between parchment and wax paper, which are NOT interchangeable for this purpose . . .

johnmitchell · February 2016

Biggreenpharmacist said:

Before I got my egg I had a gasser on the porch. Finished grilling one night after a beer filled afternoon and cranked up all four burners to "clean" the grates. Promptly ate supper and passed out. Woke up the next morning to see the knobs still on high, propane bottle empty, and half the siding on one wall of the back porch melted off. Lucky I didnt burn down the damn house. I basically have quit drinking at home since.

At the camp, I roll my egg out away from everything snd all bets are off.

Damn that was close... I am not sure I would have been as extreme to give up drinking at home.. Maybe just move the gasser out a little..

Funny story..

lewisj82 · February 2016

Had a friend invite me over for steaks one night to say thank you for helping him move. He decided to put cinnamon on them for some reason, and needless to say it didn't turn out very well. I told him that in the future a six pack or a pizza would be just fine.

yljkt · February 2016

SunDeviledEgg said:

I read the entire "eating when far away from home" thread. Huge disaster.
How did it get to train wreck status? I read it and can't believe its where its at from where it started.

nolaegghead · February 2016

I had some really bad smoke once when I first started egging. Threw out the food. Overcooked some NY strips. They were medium. Burned the hair off my arms a dozen times. Was grilling oysters when a shell exploded, had to wear an eye patch for 6 months, got involved with pirates, things turned south when they decided to pillage Ship Island, long story short, something about a midget and a drum of sour mead, good thing that flintlock was broken.

lousubcap · February 2016

A few minutes after self-induced reveille on a Sunday morning, I realized I had eaten some ABT's Sat night. No recall of the cook or consumption (but it was adult beverage supervised for sure) until that burning moment. No left-overs, musta eaten a dozen or so. BTW-did shut down the BGE after the cook.

fishlessman · February 2016

roasted chestnuts once, didnt know to cut x's in them. threw the whole bag in. heard a pop, opened the egg as they started exploding steamy hot muck all over the house

it sounded like gun fire

55Kevy · February 2016

Did a cedar plank salmon for guests. The fish was beautiful as it came off the egg, but when I opened the door to the house the plank slid off the cutting board I was using to carry it and the plank and fish hit the floor. The filet no longer looked like a filet - the guests were good natured and we ended up serving cedar plank salmon hash. Still tasted good, and I invoked the 5 second rule.

fishlessman · February 2016

heres my origional post from 2003

fishlessman Posts: 18,530

December 2003 edited 2:02PM in EggHead Forum

roasted some chestnuts on the egg this weekend but did not stab holes in them before cooking. 20 minutes at 320 heard one split ,opened egg to exploding nuts. ten feet up the side of my house, covered the deck with lots of nut.a great fireworks display, wear apropriate clothing

nolaegghead · February 2016

fishlessman said:

heres my origional post from 2003

fishlessman Posts: 18,530
December 2003 edited 2:02PM in EggHead Forum

roasted some chestnuts on the egg this weekend but did not stab holes in them before cooking. 20 minutes at 320 heard one split ,opened egg to exploding nuts. ten feet up the side of my house, covered the deck with lots of nut.a great fireworks display, wear apropriate clothing

Usually people enjoy when their nuts explode. That's NUCKING FUTS!!!

Darby_Crenshaw · February 2016

what happens at fishless' love hut, stays at fishless' love hut.

(no single guys, bring a casserole, and the password is "prosciutto")

jeffwit · February 2016

Darby_Crenshaw said:

what happens at fishless' love hut, stays at fishless' love hut.

(no single guys, bring a casserole, and the password is "prosciutto")

I think he changed it recently. It's now "moldy prosciutto."

YukonRon · February 2016

At work we were having a class for our clients teaching them how to use our products at a training center/lab in Michigan. It was decided we would grill out some chicken, sausages and corn.
I was in charge of the grill, and I really meant to start it, to get it going about an hour before the cook. We always had bags of charcoal in the facility for this purpose. Well, I was running late in getting the grill started, and when I went to the storage area, there was only a 1/4 bag of charcoal left. I had to go to the store and get more.
I was already behind, and I busted out of the lab, jumped in my car and tried my best to get charcoal and back to the lab as quickly as I could. It took me an hour.
So much for trying to hurry.
I got back, the people had already broke for lunch, and were standing around, waiting for something to happen. I went straight to the grill, dumped an entire bag of charcoal into the cooker, then started looking for lighter fluid.
Found the bottle. Zero Fluid.
Well being a chemist, I started looking at chemicals I could mix together, which had a high oxidation, low flash threshold. I mixed some stuff together, and came up with a concoction I was sure to get the coals hot in a hurry. It did.
I sprinkled the coals with my beaker full of volatile material, while everybody started gathering around, tossed in a match, and, well, the ensuing fireball was very impressive. People 20 feet away said they felt the heat from the blast.
Scared the buhgeezus out of everyone. The fire was shooting about four feet high, I am guessing, because it was hard to tell with my hair singed and smoking, and the resulting minor, first degree burns on my face and arms, trying to get up off the ground, and run. The fire burned almost white hot, roaring for less than 5 minutes, then vanished completely. Immediately afterwards, I took a look inside the grill, at the coals, there were none. They had gone to ash.
About that time the local fire department arrived because someone at a neighboring business saw the initial fireball, and as a concerned citizen should do, called for rescue. The EMTs were some of the most outstanding people I have ever met. I assured them I knew what I was doing, and I heard them say, "umhmm" as they were dabbing ointment on my minor burns.
After a visit to the first aid kit, and the nice folks of the EMTs, I went back used some other chemicals, under the watchful eye of the fire department, on the second bag of charcoal, and lunch was served only two hours later than we had planned.
Some Smart Ass labeled my office as "Burn Unit 1."

SmokingPiney · February 2016

LMAO, @YukonRon!

fishlessman · February 2016

YukonRon said:

At work we were having a class for our clients teaching them how to use our products at a training center/lab in Michigan. It was decided we would grill out some chicken, sausages and corn.
I was in charge of the grill, and I really meant to start it, to get it going about an hour before the cook. We always had bags of charcoal in the facility for this purpose. Well, I was running late in getting the grill started, and when I went to the storage area, there was only a 1/4 bag of charcoal left. I had to go to the store and get more.
I was already behind, and I busted out of the lab, jumped in my car and tried my best to get charcoal and back to the lab as quickly as I could. It took me an hour.
So much for trying to hurry.
I got back, the people had already broke for lunch, and were standing around, waiting for something to happen. I went straight to the grill, dumped an entire bag of charcoal into the cooker, then started looking for lighter fluid.
Found the bottle. Zero Fluid.
Well being a chemist, I started looking at chemicals I could mix together, which had a high oxidation, low flash threshold. I mixed some stuff together, and came up with a concoction I was sure to get the coals hot in a hurry. It did.
I sprinkled the coals with my beaker full of volatile material, while everybody started gathering around, tossed in a match, and, well, the ensuing fireball was very impressive. People 20 feet away said they felt the heat from the blast.
Scared the buhgeezus out of everyone. The fire was shooting about four feet high, I am guessing, because it was hard to tell with my hair singed and smoking, and the resulting minor, first degree burns on my face and arms, trying to get up off the ground, and run. The fire burned almost white hot, roaring for less than 5 minutes, then vanished completely. Immediately afterwards, I took a look inside the grill, at the coals, there were none. They had gone to ash.
About that time the local fire department arrived because someone at a neighboring business saw the initial fireball, and as a concerned citizen should do, called for rescue. The EMTs were some of the most outstanding people I have ever met. I assured them I knew what I was doing, and I heard them say, "umhmm" as they were dabbing ointment on my minor burns.
After a visit to the first aid kit, and the nice folks of the EMTs, I went back used some other chemicals, under the watchful eye of the fire department, on the second bag of charcoal, and lunch was served only two hours later than we had planned.
Some Smart Ass labeled my office as "Burn Unit 1."

try some zirconium filings some day, put it in a bucket and cover with a couple gallons water, get a really long match

my high bay is 30 foot, it almost caught the roof on fire and completely sent me flying

YukonRon · February 2016

@fishlessman I am good, thank you though for the suggestion. I have to be prepared and not rush. After all, I do have the BGE. That is why I do sooooooo many low and slows these days.

YukonRon · February 2016

@SmokingPiney Some scars never heal, If you know what I mean.

fishlessman · February 2016

YukonRon said:

@fishlessman I am good, thank you though for the suggestion. I have to be prepared and not rush. After all, I do have the BGE. That is why I do sooooooo many low and slows these days.

egg lighting 101

100_0804jpg

YukonRon · February 2016

@fishlessman I had no idea you were there......

bgebrent · February 2016

@YukonRon, Hilarious!! You know all us chemists are pyros!

YukonRon · February 2016

bgebrent said:

@YukonRon, Hilarious!! You know all us chemists are pyros!

whenever I grill, from that day until now, people ask me to define the potential blast zone.

Have a funny/disastrous grilling story? Tell it

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WHAT A DISASTER !! First attempt at pizza. HELP ! (please)

WHAT A DISASTER !! First attempt at pizza. HELP ! (please)

Kevin

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