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A Jew, muslim and a redneck walk into a bar....

13

Comments

  • nolaegghead
    nolaegghead Posts: 42,102
    @SGH - try the Charlie Sheen.  It's a little more classy than this thread, although it lacks teeth.
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    I love lamp..
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  • henapple
    henapple Posts: 16,025
    I like Walmart because they pay their employees **** and pass the savings on to me. >:)
    Green egg, dead animal and alcohol. The "Boro".. TN 
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  • nolaegghead
    nolaegghead Posts: 42,102
    henapple said:
    I like Walmart because they pay their employees **** and pass the savings on to me. >:)
    Don't forget they run all the local mom n pop stores out of business.  Again, you save and employ some Chinese children.  If you can live with shopping there it's a free country.
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  • nolaegghead
    nolaegghead Posts: 42,102
    And you and I subsidize many of their employees so they and their children can eat.
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  • nolaegghead
    nolaegghead Posts: 42,102
    I can already tell, the forum is going to implode tonight.  DRINK EVERYONE AND POST ON THE WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING THREAD!!!  THIS WILL BE FUN!
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  • Sardonicus
    Sardonicus Posts: 1,700
    edited October 2014
    nolaegghead said:
      If you can live with shopping there it's a free country. . . . And you and I subsidize many of their employees so they and their children can eat.


    image


    "Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and barbecuing."      - George Burns

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  • henapple
    henapple Posts: 16,025
    @nolaegghead‌. ..I'm merely saying that it's all about me.
    Green egg, dead animal and alcohol. The "Boro".. TN 
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  • nolaegghead
    nolaegghead Posts: 42,102
    @henapple - I'm just busting your bacon balls, man. 

    Also, Wal-mart sells booze and tobacco at inflated prices.  F-THEM!!
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  • henapple
    henapple Posts: 16,025
    Yeah but they're supporting those 4 years olds cutting the agave for your tequila.
    Green egg, dead animal and alcohol. The "Boro".. TN 
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  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 32,062
    The Jew was old and walking with a cane, and the Muslim was sick with cancer.  

    The Jew looked down the bar and saw God sitting at the other end.  He asked the bartender "Is that really God down there?"  The bartender nodded, and the Jew had him send a cask of wine down to the old man.

    The Muslim couldn't believe his eyes.  He hadn't seen God at a bar since 'Nam.  He asked the bartender to send God a tall glass of icewater.  

    The redneck watched all of this and stood there in disbelief.  After all, here they were at a bar and nobody had ordered the Big Dog a decent drink.  He told the bartender "Send God a Miller High Life - on me!"  (High Lifes were $1 on draft that day my friends).  

    As God got up to leave, he walked over to the Jew and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Jew felt the strength come back to his leg, so he got up and danced a jig out the door. God then touched the Muslim and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Muslim felt the cancer he'd suffered from all those years suddenly disappear,  so he raised his hands above his head and did a double back-flip out the door.

    God then walked toward the redneck, but the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me! I'm drawin' disability!"


    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
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  • Fred19Flintstone
    Fred19Flintstone Posts: 8,173
    @JohnInCarolina - Great joke! :))
    Flint, Michigan
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  • Lit
    Lit Posts: 9,053
    WalMart employees deserve to be paid **** most are lucky to have a job. Its simple Darwinism. If they weren't working at WalMart they would be on unemployment and you'de complain about that. The higher my taxes are the happier I am because that means I am making more. I shop wherever has the lowest prices.
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  • lousubcap
    lousubcap Posts: 33,554
    Since the theme has a Wally World sub-theme, I'm "all-in".  I have never spent a cent (or more) in their stores.  Don't shop there and was only in one once when under duress with SWMBO.  She has since been healed.  Off the soap-box.  To put it into forum perspective-If Wally World was the only place I could buy lump charcoal I would no longer cook on the BGE.  FWIW- 
    Louisville; Rolling smoke in the neighbourhood. # 38 for the win.  Life is too short for light/lite beer!  Seems I'm livin in a transitional period.
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  • nolaegghead
    nolaegghead Posts: 42,102
    With employees, you generally get what you pay for.  All the money they save at wal-mart and sam's club by not paying their employees doesn't go into your pocket, it goes into the owners and shareholders.  They also squeeze their vendors and the quality suffers. Look at sam's vs costco.  Somehow costco manages to pay their people decent and make money.  The people there are friendly and competent, at least in comparison.
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  • Lit
    Lit Posts: 9,053
    I am also amazed how Costco survives. Their return policy alone would sink most businesses. Pretty sure they bully their vendors instead of employees.
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  • travisstrick
    travisstrick Posts: 5,002
    I maybe go to Walmart once every 6 months. I loathe the place. I'd rather pay double at Heb or central market.
    Be careful, man! I've got a beverage here.
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  • DMW
    DMW Posts: 13,832
    You guys with access to HEB... I was at one for the first time this week. @Mickey I scored bulk ancho chili powder. That place is awesome.
    They/Them
    Morgantown, PA

    XL BGE - S BGE - KJ Jr - HB Legacy - BS Pizza Oven - 30" Firepit - King Kooker Fryer -  PR72T - WSJ - BS 17" Griddle - XXL BGE  - BS SS36" Griddle - 2 Burner Gasser - Pellet Smoker
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  • Fred19Flintstone
    Fred19Flintstone Posts: 8,173
    Jobs are kinda scarce in these parts. Wilma works at Wally World and I enjoy her discount.
    Flint, Michigan
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  • Eggcelsior
    Eggcelsior Posts: 14,414
    Lit said:

    I am also amazed how Costco survives. Their return policy alone would sink most businesses. Pretty sure they bully their vendors instead of employees.

    Nope. They bully no one. They just do things the right way and members appreciate that. That's why they double Sam's profits with half the stores. Their policy is the better they treat their employees, the better the members are treated. This appreciation is reciprocated by word of mouth referrals, creating more members. That's where their profit comes from. Profit off merchandise basically pays the electric bill and employees. The CEO's salary is 250k, while store level managers make 50-100k. They don't advertise, which most places spend 10% of their profits on.

    They do things the right way, so everyone is happy. Employees, management, shareholders. They are by far the best employer in the country for someone with a diploma and motivation.
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  • henapple
    henapple Posts: 16,025
    Just do we're clear. ..I was joking. I'm sure Sam Walton would roll over in his grave if he couldm
    Green egg, dead animal and alcohol. The "Boro".. TN 
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  • Eggcelsior
    Eggcelsior Posts: 14,414
    Fred19Flintstone said:

    Jobs are kinda scarce in these parts. Wilma works at Wally World and I enjoy her discount.

    Walmart enjoys the discount wages too. Lots of money from the government going right back to them since employees can't make ends meet on what they're paid.
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  • Lit
    Lit Posts: 9,053
    @Eggcelsior‌ they have to bully or they couldn't have that return policy. My foodsaver hose broke after 2 plus years and they gave me a full refund on the spot. Did they eat that cost or make foodsaver eat it? There's no way they eat all that with such a low beta. Also $50-$100k for a store manager how Is that paying well? Publix managers made that in 1990 when my brother worked there. We pay our data entry people $40k to start. Its a mystery to me how they have so many happy employees making under $20 an hour.
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  • Fred19Flintstone
    Fred19Flintstone Posts: 8,173
    Fred19Flintstone said:
    Jobs are kinda scarce in these parts. Wilma works at Wally World and I enjoy her discount.
    So nola, what are you disagreeing about?  Do you disagree my wife works at Walmart or I use her discount or the fact that jobs are scarce around here?
    Flint, Michigan
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  • shtgunal3
    shtgunal3 Posts: 5,811
    @nolaegghead‌ you wanna buy a t-shirt? image

    ___________________________________

     

     LBGE,SBGE, and a Mini makes three......Sweet home Alabama........ Stay thirsty my friends .

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  • henapple
    henapple Posts: 16,025
    Your wife works at Costco, no discount and they're are plenty of jobs. =))
    Green egg, dead animal and alcohol. The "Boro".. TN 
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  • Fred19Flintstone
    Fred19Flintstone Posts: 8,173
    Too bad the nearest Costco is about 45 minutes from here.
    Flint, Michigan
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  • henapple
    henapple Posts: 16,025
    This has come a long way from shakshuka. ..oh, sorry @Skiddymarker‌. ..pasta sauce and eggs.
    Green egg, dead animal and alcohol. The "Boro".. TN 
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  • nolaegghead
    nolaegghead Posts: 42,102
    Fred19Flintstone said:
    Fred19Flintstone said:
    Jobs are kinda scarce in these parts. Wilma works at Wally World and I enjoy her discount.
    So nola, what are you disagreeing about?  Do you disagree my wife works at Walmart or I use her discount or the fact that jobs are scarce around here?
    I didn't disagree with anything you said. 
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  • Fred19Flintstone
    Fred19Flintstone Posts: 8,173
    nolaegghead said:
    Fred19Flintstone said:
    Fred19Flintstone said:
    Jobs are kinda scarce in these parts. Wilma works at Wally World and I enjoy her discount.
    So nola, what are you disagreeing about?  Do you disagree my wife works at Walmart or I use her discount or the fact that jobs are scarce around here?
    I didn't disagree with anything you said. 
    Just going by what you flagged.  Forget it buddy.  I think I'm going to go to Walmart and buy some lips & a$$holes.
    Flint, Michigan
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  • Eggcelsior
    Eggcelsior Posts: 14,414
    @lit. Employees start at $11/hr. Associates range up to $19/hr and clerks $20/hr. Top out is reached in 3 years and once you top out, you get biannual bonuses of around $2k. Supervisors are in the $40k range, bonus eligible. Department-level managers start at $53k(food court manager, photo manager) Next step is mid-level in the $70k range(Fresh manager, hardlines manager). Assistant store managers are at $100k and Store Manager is $120k.

    They don't bully, they eat the cost. Everything they sell is completely paid for and they will sell stuff to salvage companies. Returns affect less than 1% of the bottom line.

    Costco offers one of the best compensation packages in business. 401k matched to 5%, multiple insurance choices from PPO to HMO,prescription drug plan that limits cost to no more than $25 co-pays. Eyeglass plan covering 1 exam per year with a voucher for 1free set of glasses or a 1-year supply of contacts. 2 weeks of paid vacation after 6 months and about 1 week added per year up to 5-6 weeks, with accrual. Sick time accrual. All employees get insurance after 6 months of employment, not just Full-time. Also, free Executive membership.
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