Most embarrassing trip to the doctor....

Ozzie_Isaac

Legume said:

That’s just crazy.  I can’t believe there weren’t any other ERs around.

The father did shove a toy car up his nose after watching his son do it.  Therefore, it would be reasonable to assume he was not bright enough to go somewhere else.

nolaegghead

Ozzie_Isaac said:

Legume said:

That’s just crazy.  I can’t believe there weren’t any other ERs around.

The father did shove a toy car up his nose after watching his son do it.  Therefore, it would be reasonable to assume he was not bright enough to go somewhere else.

Or his wife did.

Markarm4119

Having reached the age of annual prostate exams, I will give the younger bucks here some free advise : search for a small framed Asian doctor with small hands ! First  DOT physical was performed by a specific doctor with large hands, he was a forward on college basketball team. Not a good experience for me !
Also if you ask the doctor "where do I put my trousers ?" And his reply is "over there with mine ", RUN !

Jupiter Jim

DoubleEgger said:

Man you sure do have dog troubles. Get well soon buddy. 

Not the Dog it's the drankin that is 100% at fault!

DoubleEgger

Jupiter Jim said:

DoubleEgger said:

Man you sure do have dog troubles. Get well soon buddy. 

Not the Dog it's the drankin that is 100% at fault!

I figure he must have tripped over the dog he likes. I haven’t seen any Free to Good Home posts from Robin lately. 

YukonRon

Hoping your behind gets better soon. That is such a painful and uncomfortable injury to have to deal with. Pain meds have a place, this is certainly one of them.

northGAcock

DoubleEgger said:

Jupiter Jim said:

DoubleEgger said:

Man you sure do have dog troubles. Get well soon buddy. 

Not the Dog it's the drankin that is 100% at fault!

I figure he must have tripped over the dog he likes. I haven’t seen any Free to Good Home posts from Robin lately. 

You are right my friend. I was sober, my good dog....and my stupidity. That said, Donating Maddie to the drawings at Butt Blast. You could be the lucky winner.

DoubleEgger

northGAcock said:

DoubleEgger said:

Jupiter Jim said:

DoubleEgger said:

Man you sure do have dog troubles. Get well soon buddy. 

Not the Dog it's the drankin that is 100% at fault!

I figure he must have tripped over the dog he likes. I haven’t seen any Free to Good Home posts from Robin lately. 

You are right my friend. I was sober, my good dog....and my stupidity. That said, Donating Maddie to the drawings at Butt Blast. You could be the lucky winner.

Maybe Maddie has corrupted the other one and led it into
a life of crime. 

Legume

People always say Robin’s a real stand up guy.  That’s probably a good strategy for a while.

Killit_and_Grillit

I was flirting shamelessly with my Dr’s med student while getting a physical in my 20s. 

Then the doc said I was going to get my first rectal exam and did I mind if she got the practice. 

I asked her out...during the exam. (I thought she would find it amusing). She did not and just said “uhh...no”. 

Ever been rejected while a girl has her finger in your ass? It’s a little harder to take than you would think. 

YukonRon

My Beautiful Wife, said "He can blame it on the dog all he wants, but I am sure Party had something to do with it."
Other than spectator, of course.
Either way, she wishes you a speedy recovery.
Coffee, through the nose, on that one, my brother.

lousubcap

@Killit_and_Grillit - Class move right there.  Perhaps she had seen enough with that go 'round.  But way to try and use the situation to your advantage.  

Legume

Killit_and_Grillit said:

I was flirting shamelessly with my Dr’s med student while getting a physical in my 20s. 

Then the doc said I was going to get my first rectal exam and did I mind if she got the practice. 

I asked her out...during the exam. (I thought she would find it amusing). She did not and just said “uhh...no”. 

Ever been rejected while a girl has her finger in your ass? It’s a little harder to take than you would think. 

That would’ve been one helluva ‘how we met’ story.

blasting

Killit_and_Grillit said:

I was flirting shamelessly with my Dr’s med student while getting a physical in my 20s. 

Then the doc said I was going to get my first rectal exam and did I mind if she got the practice. 

I asked her out...during the exam. (I thought she would find it amusing). She did not and just said “uhh...no”. 

Ever been rejected while a girl has her finger in your ass? It’s a little harder to take than you would think. 

Great story!  Most guys would have lied and said she said yes.

Please tell me asked her with "ok, your turn".

Killit_and_Grillit

@blasting It’s been a while but I distinctly remember the rebuttal to her saying no was something to the effect of “come on think how much fun this would be if we were both...”

And then my dr told me to get the hell out. (Quite a mouth on him for a guy I went to church with)

@Legume  Would have been a killer cocktail party story. 

@lousubcap Wayne Gretzky said it best, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. Maybe I was exuding TOO much confidence. 

Botch

Killit_and_Grillit said:

And then my dr told me to get the hell out. (Quite a mouth on him for a guy I went to church with)

You do know that most doctors' daughters also enter the medical field, right?  

caliking

@Killit_and_Grillit if a rectal exam was part of your routine physical in your 20’s, then I can only assume that your doctor didn’t like you to begin with. 

JRWhitee

caliking said:

@Killit_and_Grillit if a rectal exam was part of your routine physical in your 20’s, then I can only assume that your doctor didn’t like you to begin with. 

Or maybe he liked him a little too much.

caliking

JRWhitee said:

caliking said:

@Killit_and_Grillit if a rectal exam was part of your routine physical in your 20’s, then I can only assume that your doctor didn’t like you to begin with. 

Or maybe he liked him a little too much.

 In which case he would have done it himself

blind99

Man, I'm not sure who I feel most badly for.... your wife?  your dog?  definitely not your rear!  hope the pizza turned out OK!  (And hope you're doing better)

Killit_and_Grillit

@JRWhitee @caliking he was making sure none of my dad’s pre existing conditions would keep me out of the Army. 

Apparently those included rejection while getting keistered. (Screwed by the green weenie)

milesvdustin

The green weenie always wins 

northGAcock

Update on the Butt. Things went south over the weekend. Ended up being a cyst....and required some painful drainage by a surgeon. Headed home for some sleep. Hopefully the end of this tail.

GATraveller

If having sex is a pain in the azz then you're probably doing it wrong.

JRWhitee

@northGAcock glad your feeling better.

JohnnyTarheel

@northGAcock

Hope you got relief now brother Robin.... give your tail some rest now...

Killit_and_Grillit

Meanwhile, somewhere in north Georgia, a surgeon is regretting not going to law school. 

Get to feeling better, Robin. 

SemolinaPilchard

Killit_and_Grillit said:

I was flirting shamelessly with my Dr’s med student while getting a physical in my 20s. 

Then the doc said I was going to get my first rectal exam and did I mind if she got the practice. 

I asked her out...during the exam. (I thought she would find it amusing). She did not and just said “uhh...no”. 

Ever been rejected while a girl has her finger in your ass? It’s a little harder to take than you would think. 

I would imagine that in most cases, if the woman's finger is in your tuchus, you are already on the date, and it is going well, if that's your thing.

tml1230

As I just read this whole ( no pun intended) thread from beginning to end ( no pun intended) ... I  realize why every day I am drawn to the site...perhaps it's not the pork butt strategies....

northGAcock

The rest of the story.....another day or so in the life of being Robin. 

Last night I could not sleep as the pain and discomfort got really bad. Woke up this morning telling Party (Pattie) I was going to the ER. After some spirited discussion, she convinced me the Doc in the Box was the way to go as they had Image equipment. Party made the appt over the web and we arrived at the designated time. The trip was highlighted by my crawling into the back of a Subaru Outback (face down)  with the seats folded down. I took advantage of rolling out the wife’s pink yoga Matt, in hopes it would soften the surface. Not so much. 

At Doc in the Box......I Told the female doc the story (with circles and arrows....) and was told to drop um. She summoned a witness on her side and opened the crack to find a cyst, that was draining. Wife in the room so I guess we met mutual legal precautions. Doc was not able to deal with it and suggested we go to the ER.....well chalk one up for the patient.

 So some hilights of the day:

* wife pulls into Chic-Fil-a drive thru with me laying on my stomach in the back. They had there order expediters out and I believe she was scratching her head after we placed our order. Picture a 260 lb man laying in the back of a car wearing pajama bottoms and a tye dye.....not matching of course. 

* We got to a surgeon (Office) and in right away. After talking about pain Managment (or limitations I should say), the nurse gets me all prepped. Doc walks in and tells me “this is not going to hurt hin the least bit”. I couldn’t see the humor of that ... at the time. After some really stinging shots and some painful proceedure...the pressure and pain was signifantly reduced. 

* Doctor told me I needed to get some feminim pads and place in my boxers (on the back side) to capture the drainage for the next week. Do they come in any other color than pink? 

Unless there is more fun that comes as a result of this expierence....I will close the thread. Appreciate you all laughing with me, at me....and the stories you have told. It’s helped pass some otherwise long days. 

yall be cool

Robin