OT - Tell Us A Joke

NPHuskerFL

@DMW‌ I can totally visualize it! )
@TigerTony‌ that sounds like the actual news anymore. See... auto correct could be deadly.

leo123

 This year they introduced the new Barbie

  Too keep up with the times it's called the new Divorce Barbie.

  It comes complete with all of Kens stuff.

NPHuskerFL

Blake goes dark....lasts longer than Ron Jeremy in a room full of college girls. :-\"

Little Steven

Newfie goes down to the river and catches a bucket full of trout in early April. He walks his rod and tackle back up to the house and returns to the river for his fish. Game warden walks up behind him and says "Hey....trout season isn't open. You can't be fishing now sir!" Newf says "who's fishing?". Warden says "You have a bucket full of fish here!" Newf says "Bye those are my pet fish. Every night I brings 'em down for a swim" Game warden says "Yeah sure." Newf says "No honest my son. They goes for a swim for ten minutes and then comes back to the bucket. Then we all goes up to the house ." Warden says "Oh come on! You don't expect me to believe that do you?" Newfie says"Here now bye just watch this" and he dumps the bucket into the river. Ten minutes later the warden goes "Where are your fish?" Newf says "What fish?"

Little Steven

An Englishman is walking through the heather in the north of Scotland. He becomes very parched and upon coming on a beautiful pond he dips his hand to drink. Scots farmer says "Oy dinna drink tha' wa'er it's fu o coos puss and shyte. Englishman says " My good sir...as we are both British subjects I would appreciate it if you would address me in our official language...English!" Scotsman says "I apologise sir. I said use two hands...you'll get more that way"

Botch

Q:Why do they call Manziel "Johnny Football" in Ohio?
A: Because, in Ohio, "Johnny Bench" was taken.