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RIP Anthony Bourdain

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  • SonVolt
    SonVolt Posts: 3,314
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    Dear Fellow Humans,

    Sitting across from me is the remarkable human and brave survivor, Asia Argento, who has been through more than most could stand, and yet stand she does. She stood up to her monster rapist and now she has to stand up to yet another monster, suicide. The suicide of her beloved lover and ally, Anthony Bourdain. I write these truths because I have been asked to. I know so many around the world thought of Anthony Bourdain as a friend and when a friend dies, it hurts. Many of these people who lost their ‘friend’ are wanting to lash out and blame. You must not sink to that level. Suicide is a horrible choice, but it is that person’s choice. 

    When Anthony met Asia, it was instant chemistry. They laughed, they loved and he was her rock during the hardships of this last year. Anthony was open with his demons, he even wrote a book about them. In the beginning of their relationship, Anthony told a mutual friend, “He’s never met anyone who wanted to die more than him.” And through a lot of this last year, Asia did want the pain to stop. But here’s the thing, over their time together, thankfully, she did the work to get help, so she could stay alive and live another day for her and her children. Anthony’s depression didn’t let him, he put down his armor, and that was very much his choice. His decision, not hers. His depression won. Anthony and Asia had a free relationship, they loved without borders of traditional relationships, and they established the parameters of their relationship early on. Asia is a free bird, and so was Anthony. Was. Such a terrible word to write. I’ve heard from many that the past two years they were together were some of his happiest and that should give us all solace.
     
    Anthony was 61, the same age my father was when he died. My father also suffered from intermittent deep depression, and like Anthony, was part of a “pull up your bootstraps and march on” generation. The a “strong man doesn’t ask for help” generation. I know before Anthony died he reached out for help, and yet he did not take the doctor’s advice. And that has led us here, to this tragedy, to this loss, to this world of hurt. Do NOT do the sexist thing and burn a woman on the pyre of misplaced blame. Anthony’s internal war was his war, but now she’s been left on the battlefield to take the bullets. It is in no way fair or acceptable to blame her or anyone else, not even Anthony. We are asking you to be better, to look deeper, to read and learn about mental illness, suicide and depression before you make it worse for survivors by judging that which we do not understand, that which can never fully be understood. Sometimes we are stuck in the unknowable, and that is where we are now, a massive wave of darkness that threatens to swallow everyone in its wake.

    As I watch Asia do her job on set today, I see a pillar of strength who continues to work to put food on her children’s table. I see Elizabeth Taylor carrying on filming Cat on a Hot Tin Roof despite her love, her husband, dying in a plane crash. I see all of us who have carried on. Please join me in sending healing energy to Anthony on his journey, and to all who’ve been left behind to journey on without him. There is no one to blame but the stigma of loneliness, the stigma of asking for help, the stigma of mental illness, the stigma of being famous and hurting.
     
    We must do more and be better. Anthony, our friend, would want it that way.
     
    To the media and to the random commenter, Anthony would never have wanted Asia to be hurt, I’d like to think he would want us to have the collective conversation that needs to be had about depression. Blame is NOT a conversation, it is the shutting down of our collective growth. Which is where we are now. We have a choice as humans, shrink to our smaller, uglier selves, or be better and grow as only true Phoenixes can. I urge you to be that Phoenix.


    With great sadness and even greater hope, I remain,
     
    Rose McGowan
     
    cc: Asia Argento
     
    If you are considering suicide, reach out. We need you here. You matter. You exist. You count. There is help a phone call away, reach out.

    South of Nashville  -  BGE XL  -  Alfresco 42" ALXE  -  Alfresco Versa Burner  - Sunbeam Microwave 
  • billt01
    billt01 Posts: 1,528
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    SonVolt said:
    What news hit 16 hours ago? Her cocaine charges? That's old news man... and conveniently connected to Harvey's smear campaign. The dude literally hired foreign agents to ruin people. It's a fact. 

    Have:
     XLBGE / Stumps Baby XL / Couple of Stokers (Gen 1 and Gen 3) / Blackstone 36 / Maxey 3x5 water pan hog cooker
    Had:
    LBGE / Lang 60D / Cookshack SM150 / Stumps Stretch / Stumps Baby

    Fat Willies BBQ
    Ola, Ga

  • GATraveller
    GATraveller Posts: 8,207
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    I don't deny my past (and would be happy to discuss with anyone) but I'm dang sure glad my transgressions weren't as public as those mentioned above. 

    "there but for the Grace of God go I"  

    "Social media gives legions of idiots the right to speak when they once only spoke at a bar after a glass of wine, without harming the community [...] but now they have the same right to speak as a Nobel Prize winner. It's the invasion of the idiots."

                                                                                  -Umberto Eco

    2 Large
    Peachtree Corners, GA
  • SonVolt
    SonVolt Posts: 3,314
    edited June 2018
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    billt01 said:
    SonVolt said:
    What news hit 16 hours ago? Her cocaine charges? That's old news man... and conveniently connected to Harvey's smear campaign. The dude literally hired foreign agents to ruin people. It's a fact. 



    You're saying he didn't hire Israeli intelligence officers to shut people up? This isn't Infowars, this is NPR... sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. 

    https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/11/07/562631069/report-weinstein-hired-agents-to-investigate-and-suppress-accusations-against-hi
    South of Nashville  -  BGE XL  -  Alfresco 42" ALXE  -  Alfresco Versa Burner  - Sunbeam Microwave 
  • billt01
    billt01 Posts: 1,528
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    SonVolt said:

    Dear Fellow Humans,

    Sitting across from me is the remarkable human and brave survivor, Asia Argento, who has been through more than most could stand, and yet stand she does. She stood up to her monster rapist and now she has to stand up to yet another monster, suicide. The suicide of her beloved lover and ally, Anthony Bourdain. I write these truths because I have been asked to. I know so many around the world thought of Anthony Bourdain as a friend and when a friend dies, it hurts. Many of these people who lost their ‘friend’ are wanting to lash out and blame. You must not sink to that level. Suicide is a horrible choice, but it is that person’s choice. 

    When Anthony met Asia, it was instant chemistry. They laughed, they loved and he was her rock during the hardships of this last year. Anthony was open with his demons, he even wrote a book about them. In the beginning of their relationship, Anthony told a mutual friend, “He’s never met anyone who wanted to die more than him.” And through a lot of this last year, Asia did want the pain to stop. But here’s the thing, over their time together, thankfully, she did the work to get help, so she could stay alive and live another day for her and her children. Anthony’s depression didn’t let him, he put down his armor, and that was very much his choice. His decision, not hers. His depression won. Anthony and Asia had a free relationship, they loved without borders of traditional relationships, and they established the parameters of their relationship early on. Asia is a free bird, and so was Anthony. Was. Such a terrible word to write. I’ve heard from many that the past two years they were together were some of his happiest and that should give us all solace.
     
    Anthony was 61, the same age my father was when he died. My father also suffered from intermittent deep depression, and like Anthony, was part of a “pull up your bootstraps and march on” generation. The a “strong man doesn’t ask for help” generation. I know before Anthony died he reached out for help, and yet he did not take the doctor’s advice. And that has led us here, to this tragedy, to this loss, to this world of hurt. Do NOT do the sexist thing and burn a woman on the pyre of misplaced blame. Anthony’s internal war was his war, but now she’s been left on the battlefield to take the bullets. It is in no way fair or acceptable to blame her or anyone else, not even Anthony. We are asking you to be better, to look deeper, to read and learn about mental illness, suicide and depression before you make it worse for survivors by judging that which we do not understand, that which can never fully be understood. Sometimes we are stuck in the unknowable, and that is where we are now, a massive wave of darkness that threatens to swallow everyone in its wake.

    As I watch Asia do her job on set today, I see a pillar of strength who continues to work to put food on her children’s table. I see Elizabeth Taylor carrying on filming Cat on a Hot Tin Roof despite her love, her husband, dying in a plane crash. I see all of us who have carried on. Please join me in sending healing energy to Anthony on his journey, and to all who’ve been left behind to journey on without him. There is no one to blame but the stigma of loneliness, the stigma of asking for help, the stigma of mental illness, the stigma of being famous and hurting.
     
    We must do more and be better. Anthony, our friend, would want it that way.
     
    To the media and to the random commenter, Anthony would never have wanted Asia to be hurt, I’d like to think he would want us to have the collective conversation that needs to be had about depression. Blame is NOT a conversation, it is the shutting down of our collective growth. Which is where we are now. We have a choice as humans, shrink to our smaller, uglier selves, or be better and grow as only true Phoenixes can. I urge you to be that Phoenix.


    With great sadness and even greater hope, I remain,
     
    Rose McGowan
     
    cc: Asia Argento
     
    If you are considering suicide, reach out. We need you here. You matter. You exist. You count. There is help a phone call away, reach out.

    Beautiful...now pass the blow...
    Have:
     XLBGE / Stumps Baby XL / Couple of Stokers (Gen 1 and Gen 3) / Blackstone 36 / Maxey 3x5 water pan hog cooker
    Had:
    LBGE / Lang 60D / Cookshack SM150 / Stumps Stretch / Stumps Baby

    Fat Willies BBQ
    Ola, Ga

  • billt01
    billt01 Posts: 1,528
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    SonVolt said:
    billt01 said:
    SonVolt said:
    What news hit 16 hours ago? Her cocaine charges? That's old news man... and conveniently connected to Harvey's smear campaign. The dude literally hired foreign agents to ruin people. It's a fact. 



    You're saying he didn't hire Israeli intelligence officers to shut people up? This isn't Infowars, this is NPR... sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. 

    https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/11/07/562631069/report-weinstein-hired-agents-to-investigate-and-suppress-accusations-against-hi
    Its on the web..its gotta be true!!!!
    Have:
     XLBGE / Stumps Baby XL / Couple of Stokers (Gen 1 and Gen 3) / Blackstone 36 / Maxey 3x5 water pan hog cooker
    Had:
    LBGE / Lang 60D / Cookshack SM150 / Stumps Stretch / Stumps Baby

    Fat Willies BBQ
    Ola, Ga

  • Dondgc
    Dondgc Posts: 709
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    I don't deny my past (and would be happy to discuss with anyone) but I'm dang sure glad my transgressions weren't as public as those mentioned above. 

    "there but for the Grace of God go I"  

    Well said. And so true. 




    New Orleans LA
  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 15,467
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    Focker said:
    Is it a pack of chihuahuas, or a herd, or a litter?  Or something else?
    Asking for a friend.
    When I buy nightcrawlers (another form of bait) it's a "pint".   =)
    _____________

    Remember when teachers used to say 'You won't have a calculator everywhere you go'?  Well, we showed them.


  • Focker
    Focker Posts: 8,364
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    Brandon
    Quad Cities
    "If yer gonna denigrate, familiarity with the subject is helpful."

  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 17,171
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    Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  
  • Focker
    Focker Posts: 8,364
    edited June 2018
    Options
    Cocaine must enhance the march experience?
    Brandon
    Quad Cities
    "If yer gonna denigrate, familiarity with the subject is helpful."

  • SSQUAL612
    SSQUAL612 Posts: 1,186
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    Focker said:
     Is it a pack of chihuahuas, or a herd, or a litter?  Or something else?
    Asking for a friend.
    Context depends on location and possession...IE A group of Chihuahuas...Mama Chihuahuas' Babies or a PACKage in the local market's meat department..."Carne Chihuahua".   
    Tyler, TX   XL BGE 2016, KJ Classic 2019,  MES, 18.5 WSM,  Akorn Jr,  36"&17" Black Stone, Adj Rig, Woo, Grill Grates, SS Smokeware Cap, KAB,  FB 300, Thermapen 
  • HeavyG
    HeavyG Posts: 10,345
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    Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  
    I must have missed the part in her letter where she is espousing her "feminist views".
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” ― Philip K. Diçk




  • Dondgc
    Dondgc Posts: 709
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    Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  
    Apparently she was photographed dancing in a rather sensuous manner with another man - said photo was published five days before AB killed himself.  That's the basis of the claim that she had something to do with his suicide  

    I am by no means defending that claim.  
    New Orleans LA
  • gdenby
    gdenby Posts: 6,239
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    GrillSgt said:
    Emeril took over for Prudhomme at Commander’s Palace in the early 80s. He wasn’t a lightweight in the kitchen. Interesting thing was Emeril had a full ride to Juilliard and quit after a couple of years. His schtick interested 1000s of people to up their cooking game. 
    No doubt. Tony was wrong and Emeril 
    proved it to him. Tony was attacking what he had become but Emeril was the bigger man and stayed above the fray (as far as I know). I think they became friends later but Emeril’s tweet upon Tony’s death was pure class. 
    No hard feelings over Tony smart-assery, as one can see in the No Reservations show about New Orlean's post Katrina. Towards the end, Tony and Emeril sit down over dinner and "break bread" together. Tony's admiration for Emeril's aid to his staff and keeping everything up and running is immense. Emeril mentions that when he needed help finding work for his scattered staff, one of the people he turned to was Bourdain.

    Altho' anyone watch any of the Emeril sit-com. That was kinda em-BAM-arassing.

  • SonVolt
    SonVolt Posts: 3,314
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    Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  

    I assumed she was referring to the Italian media and Twitter following which is rife with victim blaming.  Half of Asia's posts are in Italian, not English. 
    South of Nashville  -  BGE XL  -  Alfresco 42" ALXE  -  Alfresco Versa Burner  - Sunbeam Microwave 
  • The Cen-Tex Smoker
    Options
    gdenby said:
    GrillSgt said:
    Emeril took over for Prudhomme at Commander’s Palace in the early 80s. He wasn’t a lightweight in the kitchen. Interesting thing was Emeril had a full ride to Juilliard and quit after a couple of years. His schtick interested 1000s of people to up their cooking game. 
    No doubt. Tony was wrong and Emeril 
    proved it to him. Tony was attacking what he had become but Emeril was the bigger man and stayed above the fray (as far as I know). I think they became friends later but Emeril’s tweet upon Tony’s death was pure class. 
    No hard feelings over Tony smart-assery, as one can see in the No Reservations show about New Orlean's post Katrina. Towards the end, Tony and Emeril sit down over dinner and "break bread" together. Tony's admiration for Emeril's aid to his staff and keeping everything up and running is immense. Emeril mentions that when he needed help finding work for his scattered staff, one of the people he turned to was Bourdain.

    Altho' anyone watch any of the Emeril sit-com. That was kinda em-BAM-arassing.

    Oh man- forgot about the sitcom. Ouch. We can file that one with "Reba" and "Rodney" (didn't Rodney Carrington have one for a minute too?) in the ash heap of horrible sitcoms. 

    Keepin' It Weird in The ATX FBTX
  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 17,171
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    HeavyG said:
    Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  
    I must have missed the part in her letter where she is espousing her "feminist views".

  • HeavyG
    HeavyG Posts: 10,345
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    HeavyG said:
    Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  
    I must have missed the part in her letter where she is espousing her "feminist views".

    And you think THAT, in context, is a "feminist view"?

    Seems more like a rational person view to me.
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” ― Philip K. Diçk




  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 17,171
    Options
    HeavyG said:
    HeavyG said:
    Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  
    I must have missed the part in her letter where she is espousing her "feminist views".

    And you think THAT, in context, is a "feminist view"?

    Seems more like a rational person view to me.
    We differ on more views that we agree on that’s for sure. 
  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 30,944
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    HeavyG said:
    Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  
    I must have missed the part in her letter where she is espousing her "feminist views".
    Yeah I didn’t read it that way either.  Seems to me a fairly compassionate statement in defense of a friend, that’s all.
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
  • billt01
    billt01 Posts: 1,528
    Options
    Have:
     XLBGE / Stumps Baby XL / Couple of Stokers (Gen 1 and Gen 3) / Blackstone 36 / Maxey 3x5 water pan hog cooker
    Had:
    LBGE / Lang 60D / Cookshack SM150 / Stumps Stretch / Stumps Baby

    Fat Willies BBQ
    Ola, Ga

  • GATraveller
    GATraveller Posts: 8,207
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    Rose leans towards the view that anytime a man is critical of a woman he is being sexist.  I poo poo that notion.

    "Social media gives legions of idiots the right to speak when they once only spoke at a bar after a glass of wine, without harming the community [...] but now they have the same right to speak as a Nobel Prize winner. It's the invasion of the idiots."

                                                                                  -Umberto Eco

    2 Large
    Peachtree Corners, GA
  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 30,944
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    Regardless of what you think of McGowan, it seems clear to me from that statement that this was about depression and not something else.  As it related to Bourdain I think that's probably the only thing that matters.  
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
  • Focker
    Focker Posts: 8,364
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    billt01 said:
    The prickle-down effect.
    Brandon
    Quad Cities
    "If yer gonna denigrate, familiarity with the subject is helpful."

  • pgprescott
    pgprescott Posts: 14,544
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    Botch said:
    billt01 said:
    Can one be a genius with a mental illness? 
    I'd bet most geniuses (geniuie?) were...
    Studies show that many highly intelligent folks prefer to be alone. Prolly not helpful in some cases. 
  • pgprescott
    pgprescott Posts: 14,544
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  • Focker
    Focker Posts: 8,364
    edited June 2018
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    Asia posted this 3 hours before his death, then deleted it???


    Brandon
    Quad Cities
    "If yer gonna denigrate, familiarity with the subject is helpful."

  • thetrim
    thetrim Posts: 11,357
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    "I think the norms have really changed in terms of what you can do to somebody against their will."
    =======================================
    XL 6/06, Mini 6/12, L 10/12, Mini #2 12/14 MiniMax 3/16 Large #2 11/20 Legacy from my FIL - RIP
    Tampa Bay, FL
    EIB 6 Oct 95
  • jimdgreat1
    jimdgreat1 Posts: 175
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    Botch said:
    SSQUAL612 said:
    • Qjimdgreat1 said:
      SERIOUSLY?   Wish Buffalo could delete random post versus the whole thread...talk about a douche.  
    That looks pretty tongue-in-cheek to me, and just a tribute to his wicked sense of humor.  But I may be wrong.  
    http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2018/07/16/anthony-bourdain-slammed-hillary-clinton-and-gropey-disgusting-bill-clinton-in-newly-released-interview.html

    XLBGE - LBGE - Charbroil gasgrill

    Wichita Kansas