RIP Anthony Bourdain

SonVolt

Dear Fellow Humans,

Sitting across from me is the remarkable human and brave survivor, Asia Argento, who has been through more than most could stand, and yet stand she does. She stood up to her monster rapist and now she has to stand up to yet another monster, suicide. The suicide of her beloved lover and ally, Anthony Bourdain. I write these truths because I have been asked to. I know so many around the world thought of Anthony Bourdain as a friend and when a friend dies, it hurts. Many of these people who lost their ‘friend’ are wanting to lash out and blame. You must not sink to that level. Suicide is a horrible choice, but it is that person’s choice. 

When Anthony met Asia, it was instant chemistry. They laughed, they loved and he was her rock during the hardships of this last year. Anthony was open with his demons, he even wrote a book about them. In the beginning of their relationship, Anthony told a mutual friend, “He’s never met anyone who wanted to die more than him.” And through a lot of this last year, Asia did want the pain to stop. But here’s the thing, over their time together, thankfully, she did the work to get help, so she could stay alive and live another day for her and her children. Anthony’s depression didn’t let him, he put down his armor, and that was very much his choice. His decision, not hers. His depression won. Anthony and Asia had a free relationship, they loved without borders of traditional relationships, and they established the parameters of their relationship early on. Asia is a free bird, and so was Anthony. Was. Such a terrible word to write. I’ve heard from many that the past two years they were together were some of his happiest and that should give us all solace.
 
Anthony was 61, the same age my father was when he died. My father also suffered from intermittent deep depression, and like Anthony, was part of a “pull up your bootstraps and march on” generation. The a “strong man doesn’t ask for help” generation. I know before Anthony died he reached out for help, and yet he did not take the doctor’s advice. And that has led us here, to this tragedy, to this loss, to this world of hurt. Do NOT do the sexist thing and burn a woman on the pyre of misplaced blame. Anthony’s internal war was his war, but now she’s been left on the battlefield to take the bullets. It is in no way fair or acceptable to blame her or anyone else, not even Anthony. We are asking you to be better, to look deeper, to read and learn about mental illness, suicide and depression before you make it worse for survivors by judging that which we do not understand, that which can never fully be understood. Sometimes we are stuck in the unknowable, and that is where we are now, a massive wave of darkness that threatens to swallow everyone in its wake.

As I watch Asia do her job on set today, I see a pillar of strength who continues to work to put food on her children’s table. I see Elizabeth Taylor carrying on filming Cat on a Hot Tin Roof despite her love, her husband, dying in a plane crash. I see all of us who have carried on. Please join me in sending healing energy to Anthony on his journey, and to all who’ve been left behind to journey on without him. There is no one to blame but the stigma of loneliness, the stigma of asking for help, the stigma of mental illness, the stigma of being famous and hurting.
 
We must do more and be better. Anthony, our friend, would want it that way.
 
To the media and to the random commenter, Anthony would never have wanted Asia to be hurt, I’d like to think he would want us to have the collective conversation that needs to be had about depression. Blame is NOT a conversation, it is the shutting down of our collective growth. Which is where we are now. We have a choice as humans, shrink to our smaller, uglier selves, or be better and grow as only true Phoenixes can. I urge you to be that Phoenix.


With great sadness and even greater hope, I remain,
 
Rose McGowan
 
cc: Asia Argento
 
If you are considering suicide, reach out. We need you here. You matter. You exist. You count. There is help a phone call away, reach out.

billt01

SonVolt said:

What news hit 16 hours ago? Her cocaine charges? That's old news man... and conveniently connected to Harvey's smear campaign. The dude literally hired foreign agents to ruin people. It's a fact. 

GATraveller

I don't deny my past (and would be happy to discuss with anyone) but I'm dang sure glad my transgressions weren't as public as those mentioned above. 

"there but for the Grace of God go I"  

SonVolt

billt01 said:

SonVolt said:

What news hit 16 hours ago? Her cocaine charges? That's old news man... and conveniently connected to Harvey's smear campaign. The dude literally hired foreign agents to ruin people. It's a fact. 

You're saying he didn't hire Israeli intelligence officers to shut people up? This isn't Infowars, this is NPR... sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. 

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/11/07/562631069/report-weinstein-hired-agents-to-investigate-and-suppress-accusations-against-hi

billt01

SonVolt said:

Dear Fellow Humans,

Sitting across from me is the remarkable human and brave survivor, Asia Argento, who has been through more than most could stand, and yet stand she does. She stood up to her monster rapist and now she has to stand up to yet another monster, suicide. The suicide of her beloved lover and ally, Anthony Bourdain. I write these truths because I have been asked to. I know so many around the world thought of Anthony Bourdain as a friend and when a friend dies, it hurts. Many of these people who lost their ‘friend’ are wanting to lash out and blame. You must not sink to that level. Suicide is a horrible choice, but it is that person’s choice. 

When Anthony met Asia, it was instant chemistry. They laughed, they loved and he was her rock during the hardships of this last year. Anthony was open with his demons, he even wrote a book about them. In the beginning of their relationship, Anthony told a mutual friend, “He’s never met anyone who wanted to die more than him.” And through a lot of this last year, Asia did want the pain to stop. But here’s the thing, over their time together, thankfully, she did the work to get help, so she could stay alive and live another day for her and her children. Anthony’s depression didn’t let him, he put down his armor, and that was very much his choice. His decision, not hers. His depression won. Anthony and Asia had a free relationship, they loved without borders of traditional relationships, and they established the parameters of their relationship early on. Asia is a free bird, and so was Anthony. Was. Such a terrible word to write. I’ve heard from many that the past two years they were together were some of his happiest and that should give us all solace.
 
Anthony was 61, the same age my father was when he died. My father also suffered from intermittent deep depression, and like Anthony, was part of a “pull up your bootstraps and march on” generation. The a “strong man doesn’t ask for help” generation. I know before Anthony died he reached out for help, and yet he did not take the doctor’s advice. And that has led us here, to this tragedy, to this loss, to this world of hurt. Do NOT do the sexist thing and burn a woman on the pyre of misplaced blame. Anthony’s internal war was his war, but now she’s been left on the battlefield to take the bullets. It is in no way fair or acceptable to blame her or anyone else, not even Anthony. We are asking you to be better, to look deeper, to read and learn about mental illness, suicide and depression before you make it worse for survivors by judging that which we do not understand, that which can never fully be understood. Sometimes we are stuck in the unknowable, and that is where we are now, a massive wave of darkness that threatens to swallow everyone in its wake.

As I watch Asia do her job on set today, I see a pillar of strength who continues to work to put food on her children’s table. I see Elizabeth Taylor carrying on filming Cat on a Hot Tin Roof despite her love, her husband, dying in a plane crash. I see all of us who have carried on. Please join me in sending healing energy to Anthony on his journey, and to all who’ve been left behind to journey on without him. There is no one to blame but the stigma of loneliness, the stigma of asking for help, the stigma of mental illness, the stigma of being famous and hurting.
 
We must do more and be better. Anthony, our friend, would want it that way.
 
To the media and to the random commenter, Anthony would never have wanted Asia to be hurt, I’d like to think he would want us to have the collective conversation that needs to be had about depression. Blame is NOT a conversation, it is the shutting down of our collective growth. Which is where we are now. We have a choice as humans, shrink to our smaller, uglier selves, or be better and grow as only true Phoenixes can. I urge you to be that Phoenix.


With great sadness and even greater hope, I remain,
 
Rose McGowan
 
cc: Asia Argento
 
If you are considering suicide, reach out. We need you here. You matter. You exist. You count. There is help a phone call away, reach out.

Beautiful...now pass the blow...

billt01

SonVolt said:

billt01 said:

SonVolt said:

What news hit 16 hours ago? Her cocaine charges? That's old news man... and conveniently connected to Harvey's smear campaign. The dude literally hired foreign agents to ruin people. It's a fact. 

You're saying he didn't hire Israeli intelligence officers to shut people up? This isn't Infowars, this is NPR... sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. 

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/11/07/562631069/report-weinstein-hired-agents-to-investigate-and-suppress-accusations-against-hi

Its on the web..its gotta be true!!!!

Dondgc

GATraveller said:

I don't deny my past (and would be happy to discuss with anyone) but I'm dang sure glad my transgressions weren't as public as those mentioned above. 

"there but for the Grace of God go I"  

Well said. And so true. 

Botch

Focker said:
Is it a pack of chihuahuas, or a herd, or a litter?  Or something else?

Asking for a friend.

When I buy nightcrawlers (another form of bait) it's a "pint".  

Focker

https://pagesix.com/2018/06/12/paparazzo-who-snapped-asia-argento-with-french-reporter-regrets-shots/

DoubleEgger

Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  

Focker

Cocaine must enhance the march experience?

SSQUAL612

Focker said:

 Is it a pack of chihuahuas, or a herd, or a litter?  Or something else?
Asking for a friend.

Context depends on location and possession...IE A group of Chihuahuas...Mama Chihuahuas' Babies or a PACKage in the local market's meat department..."Carne Chihuahua".   

HeavyG

DoubleEgger said:

Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  

I must have missed the part in her letter where she is espousing her "feminist views".

Dondgc

DoubleEgger said:

Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  

Apparently she was photographed dancing in a rather sensuous manner with another man - said photo was published five days before AB killed himself.  That's the basis of the claim that she had something to do with his suicide  

I am by no means defending that claim.  

gdenby

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

GrillSgt said:

Emeril took over for Prudhomme at Commander’s Palace in the early 80s. He wasn’t a lightweight in the kitchen. Interesting thing was Emeril had a full ride to Juilliard and quit after a couple of years. His schtick interested 1000s of people to up their cooking game. 

No doubt. Tony was wrong and Emeril 
proved it to him. Tony was attacking what he had become but Emeril was the bigger man and stayed above the fray (as far as I know). I think they became friends later but Emeril’s tweet upon Tony’s death was pure class. 

No hard feelings over Tony smart-assery, as one can see in the No Reservations show about New Orlean's post Katrina. Towards the end, Tony and Emeril sit down over dinner and "break bread" together. Tony's admiration for Emeril's aid to his staff and keeping everything up and running is immense. Emeril mentions that when he needed help finding work for his scattered staff, one of the people he turned to was Bourdain.

Altho' anyone watch any of the Emeril sit-com. That was kinda em-BAM-arassing.

SonVolt

DoubleEgger said:

Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  

I assumed she was referring to the Italian media and Twitter following which is rife with victim blaming.  Half of Asia's posts are in Italian, not English. 

The Cen-Tex Smoker

gdenby said:

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

GrillSgt said:

Emeril took over for Prudhomme at Commander’s Palace in the early 80s. He wasn’t a lightweight in the kitchen. Interesting thing was Emeril had a full ride to Juilliard and quit after a couple of years. His schtick interested 1000s of people to up their cooking game. 

No doubt. Tony was wrong and Emeril 
proved it to him. Tony was attacking what he had become but Emeril was the bigger man and stayed above the fray (as far as I know). I think they became friends later but Emeril’s tweet upon Tony’s death was pure class. 

No hard feelings over Tony smart-assery, as one can see in the No Reservations show about New Orlean's post Katrina. Towards the end, Tony and Emeril sit down over dinner and "break bread" together. Tony's admiration for Emeril's aid to his staff and keeping everything up and running is immense. Emeril mentions that when he needed help finding work for his scattered staff, one of the people he turned to was Bourdain.

Altho' anyone watch any of the Emeril sit-com. That was kinda em-BAM-arassing.

Oh man- forgot about the sitcom. Ouch. We can file that one with "Reba" and "Rodney" (didn't Rodney Carrington have one for a minute too?) in the ash heap of horrible sitcoms. 

DoubleEgger

HeavyG said:

DoubleEgger said:

Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  

I must have missed the part in her letter where she is espousing her "feminist views".

HeavyG

DoubleEgger said:

HeavyG said:

DoubleEgger said:

Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  

I must have missed the part in her letter where she is espousing her "feminist views".

And you think THAT, in context, is a "feminist view"?

Seems more like a rational person view to me.

DoubleEgger

HeavyG said:

DoubleEgger said:

HeavyG said:

DoubleEgger said:

Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  

I must have missed the part in her letter where she is espousing her "feminist views".

And you think THAT, in context, is a "feminist view"?

Seems more like a rational person view to me.

We differ on more views that we agree on that’s for sure. 

JohnInCarolina

HeavyG said:

DoubleEgger said:

Leave it to Rose McGowan to turn this tragedy into a talking point for her feminist views. I have yet to hear of anyone blaming Asia for Tony’s death. Nothing in the media that I have seen has been anything other than warm and compassionate to the family and the situation.  

I must have missed the part in her letter where she is espousing her "feminist views".

Yeah I didn’t read it that way either.  Seems to me a fairly compassionate statement in defense of a friend, that’s all.

billt01

GATraveller

Rose leans towards the view that anytime a man is critical of a woman he is being sexist.  I poo poo that notion.

JohnInCarolina

Regardless of what you think of McGowan, it seems clear to me from that statement that this was about depression and not something else.  As it related to Bourdain I think that's probably the only thing that matters.  

Focker

billt01 said:

The prickle-down effect.

pgprescott

Botch said:

billt01 said:
Can one be a genius with a mental illness? 

I'd bet most geniuses (geniuie?) were...

Studies show that many highly intelligent folks prefer to be alone. Prolly not helpful in some cases. 

pgprescott

Sunk. 

Focker

Asia posted this 3 hours before his death, then deleted it???

thetrim

"I think the norms have really changed in terms of what you can do to somebody against their will."

jimdgreat1

Botch said:

SSQUAL612 said:

• Qjimdgreat1 said:

  

  SERIOUSLY?   Wish Buffalo could delete random post versus the whole thread...talk about a douche.  

That looks pretty tongue-in-cheek to me, and just a tribute to his wicked sense of humor.  But I may be wrong.  

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2018/07/16/anthony-bourdain-slammed-hillary-clinton-and-gropey-disgusting-bill-clinton-in-newly-released-interview.html