Sauscutapalooza (AWSS5 - the final conflict)

Sea2Ski said:

 Bravo!  Good for you for getting them loaded! Many do not understand how difficult it can be to grab one or two out of a free range area or group. Once we tried loading one and lost hours trying to do so.   Ended up isolating and cornering it with fencing, and put in a bowl of super cheap vodka in the “pen” with it and left it alone for 45-60 mins and watched it from a distance. It found the vodka and drank it like water. It got drunk and basically passed out like some do at Butt Blast. Prior to that, it was impossible to get it to stay still for a clean shot.
Then we did the deed and loaded it on the truck with a mini excavator.


Have fun today!

There were times I was wishing we had a bottle
of vodka but not for the pigs. We got all set with the trailer backed into the pen, made a trail of food like we always do, and let the pigs do their thing. We had 2 pigs left- the fat one and the smart one (you will see how this plays out later). 

Last November it was time to do another and the bell tolled for big Mo. We had 3 left and he was the biggest. He was pushing 500lbs. Well, it turns out when you weigh 500 lbs, you have a say in the matter. Mo was having none of it. We had another pig that thought the trailer ride was a great idea and after we pushed him out and he jumped back in 2 more times, we decided that Big Mo would live to fight another day and Miney would get the free trailer ride that day. 

Fast forward to last Wednesday. We have 2 pigs left and it has been decided that this will be final day of our ranching operation. Time for both pigs (the fat one and the smart one) to take that trailer ride to the sky. 

We figured Mo would be stubborn as before and we didn’t know about Eenie. Even smart pigs are food-driven so the plan is always to “Hansel and Gretel” the pigs to the trailer with a trail of feed. It worked (sort of). Here is Eenie 2 minutes after we got set up. Walked right...up to the trailer, ate all the feed on the ramp then hauled ass. He smelled a rat. 



This is as close as we would get to him for the next 2 hours. 

Mo, on the other hand decided right away that no foul play was at hand this time and that a food line to the trailer seemed like a great idea. He proceeded to lay down, eat a bucket of feed and laugh at us while we chased Eenie around the pen for the next 2 hours. 

(big Mo following the feed trail to that big wallow in the sky)




Taking a nap and laughing at us chasing
Eenie 



Well, as far as Eenie goes, it turns out when you weigh 411 lbs, you also have a say in the matter. We pulled out all the tricks. Food, food, and more food. Bananas, cheese, bread. He loved  all of them. Right up to the trailer ramp. He worked us like a rented mule. Ate all the food but wouldn’t go in the trailer. We had gates, panels, people all running traps but he would either outsmart us at the last second or just run us over when he felt cornered.  He was like Neo in the Matrix. He could see all our moves before they happened. 

Finally he just layed down and gave us the pig version of “the double bird”. Basically saying, “I’m not going in. I know it, you know it, and I know you know it”. 



We had had to call in reinforcements (the neighbors). They showed up with a sack of cheese bread and a rope. The cheese bread did not work but the rope eventually did. Once we got him lassoed you would have thought we shot him. All hell broke loose and the noise was out of an Alien movie. You could hear him a mile away. We got a leg tied up and no matter how much he protested, the jig was finally up for Eenie. He didn’t go easy, it took all 4 of us to wrangle him in but we got it done. 

For all the screaming, bucking, pulling pissing and crapping, once in the trailer he was like “hey, look at all this food! Why didn’t you just say so”. He was happy to be with mo again (for now) and having a bucket of feed to munch on 


And thus ends the saga of Eenie, Meenie, Miney, and Mo.

Fare thee well, fine pigs. May your hams hang in a climate-controlled vessel for 24 months and your sausages seductively sizzle on my 18” ceramic grill. 

I’m looking forward to updates as well. Sorry I can’t be there to help. Due to a family obligation I had to wake up to this view this AM.