OT: your memorable lessons in life after marriage? Keep it clean…OK? :OT

RRP

Fresh out of college, just married and POOR as the proverbial church mice…I started a job in 1966 in public accounting. We were paid…NOT weekly…NOT bi-weekly, but only once a month! Talk about your learning how to budget! It was a cruel wake up to two college kids  that there are 4 weeks in a month! BUDGETING was a lesson LEARNED…FAST,

How about you?

GrateEggspectations

When I met my wife 20 years ago, I always promised her I would be rich and that I would lose my hair. Glad I was able to keep one of two promises. 

JohnInCarolina

Happens to be our anniversary today.  We’ve been married for 18 years.  Our marriage is old enough to vote.

Probably the big lesson for me is to keep focus on what it is you value.  Life gets stressful or tense or challenging at times.  Nobody’s life is easy, and there are a lot of distractions.  It’s easy to let the world creep in and take your focus away from what it is you value, like your relationships with family and friends, or the time you have with your children when they’re young.

All of us, the fact of the matter is that our time here is short.  Every day is a gift.

GrateEggspectations

Well said, @JohnInCarolina. Congratulations. In addition, there is no relationship without trust and communication. 

Have got the week off and a few date nights lined up, so it’ll be a good week. 

johnmitchell

Congratulations John 🥃

Kayak

A short memory is a valuable quality in marriage.

lousubcap

Congratulations on your anniversary, John.  
I learned early on the answer to "Why husbands die before their wives."  

Because they want to!! 

hoosier_egger

Yes, Dear. 

RRP

Congrats, John and better half!!! 

caliking

A cliche, but valuable advice - don't go to bed mad at each other. It makes a real difference. 

Also, every now and then, do something sweet for your partner that will make his/her friends/coworkers/siblings hella jealous. It's like money in the bank  

caliking

And, JIC...  hearty congratulations to your bride for putting up with you for this long. If you made it this far, she'll likely keep you around.

gonepostal

Closing in on 10 yrs next month with #2.  The thing I'm most thankful for is the ability that we have to "let it go."

An argument or disagreement with #1 would often lead to her packing bags and loading up the car. Talk about eggshells. 

With #2 we are smiling and talking again 30 seconds later.  And she loves sports!

johnmitchell

I am 36 years married this year and I learned very early on never use the term “ Calm down” 😂😂

GrateEggspectations

johnmitchell said:

I am 36 years married this year and I learned very early on never use the term “ Calm down” 😂😂

…unless of course, one was looking to rile them up. 😂

dbCooper

When you hear your significant other say "Ok, Fine" things are definitely not fine.  Tone of voice used is the big giveaway.  

caliking

johnmitchell said:

I am 36 years married this year and I learned very early on never use the term “ Calm down” 😂😂

I'm not as smart as you are, so it took me a while to figure this one out. When I did, I realized it NEVER had the desired effect. 

WeberWho

caliking said:

johnmitchell said:

I am 36 years married this year and I learned very early on never use the term “ Calm down” 😂😂

I'm not as smart as you are, so it took me a while to figure this one out. When I did, I realized it NEVER had the desired effect. 

It sounds like my wife when she said that I don't have to go to her sides family reunion this weekend. I don't think she was serious but here I am today with the BGE fired up and drinking beer at home. Sometimes you have to take those opportunities even when it's half-hearted. 

Foghorn

Don't ever fall for "You've already bought me enough things recently - don't buy me anything for (insert holiday here)."

JohnInCarolina

dbCooper said:

When you hear your significant other say "Ok, Fine" things are definitely not fine.  Tone of voice used is the big giveaway.  

northGAcock

Apparently, when the wife wins Teacher of the Year, I would have been smart not to refer to as Teacher of the nine months. Been quite a few years ago, but still gets referenced often. 

TEXASBGE2018

Dunno that it's something learned specifically after being married but if we have an argument we generally don't stay mad at each other by the next day. 

Something I have learned after being married is that when your wife tells you "all I want is to just paint the walls to add a little color" that actually means get ready to redecorate this entire room head to toe including new furniture.

caliking

WeberWho said:

caliking said:

johnmitchell said:

I am 36 years married this year and I learned very early on never use the term “ Calm down” 😂😂

I'm not as smart as you are, so it took me a while to figure this one out. When I did, I realized it NEVER had the desired effect. 

It sounds like my wife when she said that I don't have to go to her sides family reunion this weekend. I don't think she was serious but here I am today with the BGE fired up and drinking beer at home. Sometimes you have to take those opportunities even when it's half-hearted. 

It doesn't sound like you have realized this yet, but trust me... you're gonna pay for this. 

Battleborn

We have only been married for 15 years and a lot of the things that have already been said have been incorporated in our marriage. The only thing I have to add is that we have always put each other first, kids second. 

WeberWho

caliking said:

WeberWho said:

caliking said:

johnmitchell said:

I am 36 years married this year and I learned very early on never use the term “ Calm down” 😂😂

I'm not as smart as you are, so it took me a while to figure this one out. When I did, I realized it NEVER had the desired effect. 

It sounds like my wife when she said that I don't have to go to her sides family reunion this weekend. I don't think she was serious but here I am today with the BGE fired up and drinking beer at home. Sometimes you have to take those opportunities even when it's half-hearted. 

It doesn't sound like you have realized this yet, but trust me... you're gonna pay for this. 

Hahaha. I think she preferred me to stay home. She was surprised that I even considered it. I could have sat and had forced conversations with people I see once a year or stay back and help pops replace a patio. She even said I'm going to hate it if I go. 

Langner91

I've learned marriage is actually a lot like this BBQ forum.  It starts out friendly, then someone ruins it.

theyolksonyou

WeberWho said:

caliking said:

WeberWho said:

caliking said:

johnmitchell said:

I am 36 years married this year and I learned very early on never use the term “ Calm down” 😂😂

I'm not as smart as you are, so it took me a while to figure this one out. When I did, I realized it NEVER had the desired effect. 

It sounds like my wife when she said that I don't have to go to her sides family reunion this weekend. I don't think she was serious but here I am today with the BGE fired up and drinking beer at home. Sometimes you have to take those opportunities even when it's half-hearted. 

It doesn't sound like you have realized this yet, but trust me... you're gonna pay for this. 

Hahaha. I think she preferred me to stay home. She was surprised that I even considered it. I could have sat and had forced conversations with people I see once a year or stay back and help pops replace a patio. She even said I'm going to hate it if I go. 

This sounds like you were victim of some high level Jedi mind control shît.  I do t know if you passed or failed here. 

caliking

WeberWho said:

caliking said:

WeberWho said:

caliking said:

johnmitchell said:

I am 36 years married this year and I learned very early on never use the term “ Calm down” 😂😂

I'm not as smart as you are, so it took me a while to figure this one out. When I did, I realized it NEVER had the desired effect. 

It sounds like my wife when she said that I don't have to go to her sides family reunion this weekend. I don't think she was serious but here I am today with the BGE fired up and drinking beer at home. Sometimes you have to take those opportunities even when it's half-hearted. 

It doesn't sound like you have realized this yet, but trust me... you're gonna pay for this. 

Hahaha. I think she preferred me to stay home. She was surprised that I even considered it. I could have sat and had forced conversations with people I see once a year or stay back and help pops replace a patio. She even said I'm going to hate it if I go. 

I’ll just say that you could have helped pops with the patio next weekend. 

They say those things just to test you. 

All. The. Damn. Time. 

WeberWho

caliking said:

WeberWho said:

caliking said:

WeberWho said:

caliking said:

johnmitchell said:

I am 36 years married this year and I learned very early on never use the term “ Calm down” 😂😂

I'm not as smart as you are, so it took me a while to figure this one out. When I did, I realized it NEVER had the desired effect. 

It sounds like my wife when she said that I don't have to go to her sides family reunion this weekend. I don't think she was serious but here I am today with the BGE fired up and drinking beer at home. Sometimes you have to take those opportunities even when it's half-hearted. 

It doesn't sound like you have realized this yet, but trust me... you're gonna pay for this. 

Hahaha. I think she preferred me to stay home. She was surprised that I even considered it. I could have sat and had forced conversations with people I see once a year or stay back and help pops replace a patio. She even said I'm going to hate it if I go. 

I’ll just say that you could have helped pops with the patio next weekend. 

They say those things just to test you. 

All. The. Damn. Time. 

The concrete guys are coming in to pour concrete sometime this week. They're putting in a whole new slab. So it's some actual real work that needs to be done yet. 

My wife gets it. I probably fail most husband tests. I most likely failed last year when I showed up days late for her family reunion because I had a rib competition that same weekend. It would be different if my wife really cared with that kind of stuff. I think it's more the respect and understanding we have for one another. No tests or hidden messages between one another. It's a two way street. Why test one another when you can work together. Just my two cents. 

JohnInCarolina

Langner91 said:

I've learned marriage is actually a lot like this BBQ forum.  It starts out friendly, then someone ruins it.

I did once look at my wife after a “disagreement” and wave my arms around at the house and say to her “this used to be a much more friendlier place”

She just glared at me and said “you are really weird sometimes” 

Legume

JohnInCarolina said:

Langner91 said:

I've learned marriage is actually a lot like this BBQ forum.  It starts out friendly, then someone ruins it.

I did once look at my wife after a “disagreement” and wave my arms around at the house and say to her “this used to be a much more friendlier place”

She just glared at me and said “you are really weird sometimes” 

Pro-move

dmchicago

Late to the thread but congrats, John. We tripped the 20-year milestone last November.

I'm such a lucky goober in so many ways...I'm definitely the Captain of the Out Kicked his Coverage Club.

If we have any "secret", I guess it's that we actually enjoy spending time together...we LIKE each other as much as we love each other.

I have several friends whom I suspect love their spouse but may not like them too much anymore. 

I always remember when we were dating and how excited I was when I picked her up for a date. How I couldn't believe she was in my car going out to dinner with me. 

Lisa travels every week and I still get excited when she gets home from a business trip. Even if she gets home late at night, I still want to be awake and hear how the trip went, meetings, etc. 

We are invested in each other in a way I never thought possible before I met her.

I'm 62 and she is 56 and I want nothing more than to just grow old(er) with her and enjoy our post work lives with each other traveling the world.