Practical Jokes you've pulled (Where the statute of limitations has run out)

TrippleRipple

While an NCO in the Marine Corps ('95-'03) I had this sh!tbird private that I could not stand. I wanted him out of my unit, before we deployed, for his own safety as well as the rest of ours. He was an a-hole while also thriving at a level of incompetence and stupidity that was extremely dangerous near anything sharp or that went boom.

I didn't want to harm this clown, I just wanted him sent someplace where he couldn't hurt anyone. Perhaps ground maintenance, a fire watch tower, the laundry....I didn't care, so long as he left.

As dumb as he was, he knew how to play the system. The USMC doesn't have an HR department per se, but there are channels of protection for these a$$hats. He knew all of them. Basically tying my and the other NCO's hands.

**This was prior to the internet as we now know it. Magazines (gentlemen's mags, MAXIM, automotive, gun, hunting, fishing...etc) were quite popular then. The magazine rack at the main side PX was about 100 feet long. probably 800-1,000 mags.**

Every magazine has those little 3x5 cards that you can fill out to subscribe. Just fill out your name and address and check the box that says "bill me later". My best buddy, John, and I went to the PX and got hundreds of 3x5's from every mag possible. Better Homes and Gardens to Seventeen to Womens Day etc and spent an "inspection day" filling these things out; all addressed to Pvt. Sh!tbird.

Within two weeks they started rolling in. Within a month, and after the mags had sold his info, the mountain of mags and junk mail he received DAILY was delivered in CRATES!! Due to a 'soldiers rights' clause in which ALL of your mail must be delivered in a timely manner, Pvt. Sh!tbird was deemed non-deployable and shipped to mess duty until he could resolve his situation.

Aside from John, who lost his life in a car accident on Thanksgiving Day 2000, you are the only people who I've ever told this story to. 

     

JohnEggGio

@TrippleRipple Great story.  Sorry about your friend, John.

Eggcelsior

“He was an a-hole while also thriving at a level of incompetence and stupidity that was extremely dangerous near anything sharp or that went boom.”

This statement can be ascribed to every teenager ever and those say “hold my beer” before their Darwin Award maneuver. 

stlcharcoal

At the NBBQA convention in KC this year, and fellow BBQ'er forgot his RW Pecan chunks in his hotel room that he needed for the SCA cook that evening......first mistake.  His second mistake was giving his room key to me and Kick Ash Chad to go retrieve it for him.

Oh boy did we have some fun with that room.  Thermostat to 85F.  Lotion on the toilet seat, remote control, all over his beer cans in the fridge.  Soaped his tooth brush.  A mix of Cheerwine and BBQ sauce in the toilet and tub (it looked gross).  Short sheeted the bed.  Stuff under the mattress to make it lumpy.  Baby powder on the pillow.  And more....

He sure was p!ssed at us the next morning, since he didn't get back to his room until after midnight.

--

This thread is jogging my memory of all the stuff we used to do to each other at the air ambulance base.  Started out mild, then quickly accelerated to firecrackers and super soakers at 3AM.  Ah the good old days.

The Cen-Tex Smoker

@lakewade signed my wife up for a Farmersonly.com account when she left her phone unattended during the Oregon Ohio State national championship game in 2015. You guys may remember but for whatever reason, they were running ads in every commercial break. We had never heard of them and we were cracking up every single commercial break ("you don't have to be lonely, with farmer's only .com!"- how sad is that for a jingle?)

Anyhow, Wade had the brilliant idea to load the app and sign her up for a fake account while she off chatting and sipping wine.

The best part of the whole deal was that he set her notifications for her phone to "Moooooo!" (yes, that is an option) any time she got a message. Apparently those  boys really are lonely because her phone was blowing up in minutes. She was like "Why TF is my phone mooing?" 

Well played, Wade. Well played indeed.

DoubleEgger

I bet the housekeepers loved you @stlcharcoal

The Cen-Tex Smoker

Eggcelsior said:

“He was an a-hole while also thriving at a level of incompetence and stupidity that was extremely dangerous near anything sharp or that went boom.”

This statement can be ascribed to every teenager ever and those say “hold my beer” before their Darwin Award maneuver. 

r/rareinsults

nolaegghead

I was having a party at my house and I had a MBP in the shop logged into this forum.  Someone typed in "I am gay".  I didn't notice this until later but the immediate responses were like "wait, whut?!", etc.

Wolfe

In my early 20’s went to pickup up a buddy, he was newly married and wife was out of town so he wanted to go have dinner and drinks.  He was still in the shower when I arrived so I went into his pantry and tore off all the labels on their canned goods. Every meal had a surprise side! 

WeberWho

nolaegghead said:

I was having a party at my house and I had a MBP in the shop logged into this forum.  Someone typed in "I am gay".  I didn't notice this until later but the immediate responses were like "wait, whut?!", etc.

When I was younger my friend passed out after he had too much to drink with his phone on his lap. I took his phone and text 10+ random contacts he had in his phone. The message I wrote was, "I'm sorry I didn't let anyone know until now but I'm on the way to the hospital as the baby is on the way." 

He had calls and texts all throughout the next day.  

northGAcock

frazzdaddy said:

@Sea2Ski, well done sir! We used to make sure newbie fisherman got a fresh squid/bait sandwich for lunch. For some reason they never looked first.

Note to self. Never go fishin with either of you.

Botch

I never, ever should have learned that "poopsenders.com" was a thing.
 
A couple posts jogged my memory on a fun one in the dorms.  Lift the toilet seat, and cover the bowl opening with Saran Wrap, lower the seat back down.  Totally invisible.  Until....

nolaegghead

meatspin.com was a frequent url here back in the day....

frazzdaddy

Botch said:

I never, ever should have learned that "poopsenders.com" was a thing.
 
A couple posts jogged my memory on a fun one in the dorms.  Lift the toilet seat, and cover the bowl opening with Saran Wrap, lower the seat back down.  Totally invisible.  Until....

this little prank makes the ladies very very angry don't ask me how I know this.

RajunCajun

There once was a comedian here in South Louisiana and I cannot find a Youtube video of this joke (could be a practical joke) so you are going to have to bear with my less than adequate joke telling skills.

Two gentlemen, Boudreaux and Thibodeaux, were looking for a pasture to hunt birds.  They drive by a huge pasture next to a farm.  Boudreaux says now dat looks like a good place to hunt.  Boo and Thib pull into the driveway and Boudreaux says he will go knock on the door and ask for permission to hunt.  Boudreaux knocks on the door and ole Mrs. Comeaux answers the door.  Boudreaux proceeds to ask Mrs. Comeaux for permission to hunt.  Ole Mrs. Comeaux says aw yeah Boudreaux, no problem.  Mrs. Comeaux says I have one favor to ask of you.  Boudreaux says, Mais, what's dat?  She says I have an old sick cow behind the barn, would you please shoot it to put it out of its misery. Boudreaux says sure, no problem.  Boudreaux walks back to the truck and thinks he is gonna play a trick on his podna Thib.  He climbs into the truck and Thib immediately says, Boudreaux, what she say, what she say, huh, what she say?  Boudreaux says that ole hag, she said we can't hunt but I'm gonna show her.  Boudreaux gets out of the truck, takes aim at the ole sick cow, aims, pulls the trigger.  No sooner than the ole cow drops to the ground, Boudreaux hears two more gunshots, BOOM, BOOM.  He saids Thibodeaux, what you doing podna.  Thibodeaux says I'll show her, I shot her mule and goat too.  Ralph would then say, man, talk about backfire, BIG TIME.  RIP Ralph!

The Cen-Tex Smoker

Botch said:

I never, ever should have learned that "poopsenders.com" was a thing.
 
A couple posts jogged my memory on a fun one in the dorms.  Lift the toilet seat, and cover the bowl opening with Saran Wrap, lower the seat back down.  Totally invisible.  Until....

Totally invisible.  Until....

The poopsender? 

GrateEggspectations

nolaegghead said:

I was having a party at my house and I had a MBP in the shop logged into this forum.  Someone typed in "I am gay".  I didn't notice this until later but the immediate responses were like "wait, whut?!", etc.

Good cover, Nola. Good cover. 

  

alaskanassasin

 We used to crack a work truck door or window open and empty a whole fire extinguisher into the cab.

 My buddy was a repo man who worked nights, you never knew where your car or truck was when you got out of bed.

 

frazzdaddy

alaskanassasin said:

 We used to crack a work truck door or window open and empty a whole fire extinguisher into the cab.

 My buddy was a repo man who worked nights, you never knew where your car or truck was when you got out of bed.

 

One of my cashiers husband was co owner of " Lizard lick towing "
lot's of great stories of their repo escapdes.

alaskanassasin

@frazzdaddy that show was funny as heck!

alaskanassasin

we all know a Bobby

thetrim

I like to fart in a small glass tumbler, turn it upside down, and leave it on the counter.  It's amazing how long the smell will stay in there, and the person who turns it over gets a real treat.

GrateEggspectations

thetrim said:

I like to fart in a small glass tumbler, turn it upside down, and leave it on the counter.  It's amazing how long the smell will stay in there, and the person who turns it over gets a real treat.

I gagged a little when I read this. 

There’s a Yeti marketing opportunity somewhere in there. “Holds the smell ‘til someone’s unwell.”

thetrim

You have to place it on a non-porous counter top, so doing it with a red solo cup on a wood picnic table at BB2020 won't have the same effect....

frazzdaddy

alaskanassasin said:

@frazzdaddy that show was funny as heck!

Some of the back stories were insane. Those folks were nuckn futs!

ColtsFan

Had a co-worker go out on his lunch break one day and put plug wires on his GM truck. I then went out on my lunch break and swapped cylinders 5 and 7. Took him an hour to figure it out.

Canugghead

remapped keyboard

Dollinger

Ok so I had a boss that was an ass big time. So I put a female friend to calling the office the day he left to go out of town of a business trip. So the call goes to the receptionist. My female friend sound really distraught as for my boss. When she was told that he wasn't in she went into this story about how she left he panties with a heart design in his car and pleaded she had to get them back at once because her husband was coming home and he would expect her to wear them because he had bought them for her right before he left and ask her to wear them when he got back. Now she got really hysterical said she had to get them back and if he calls could you please give him the message. She said his wife doesn't know about us so he might be hesitant to talk about it but you have just got to tell him he got to find a way to get them back to her right away. Well he called about 10 minutes latter and of course claimed he knew nothing no matter how much the receptionist tried to get him to admit it. So finally the receptionist hung up. she was pissed thinking he was being a jerk. The whole office knew before the day was out. So his boss called him at his hotel that night to find out what was going on. Of course the more he denied it, the more guilty he sounded! So when my boss returned back from his trip a package arrived he opened it and found these panties with a heart shaped design. He picked the panties up not realizing what it was right when his boss walked into his office. I could see the whole thing unfold as I was hanging around waiting for the mail to be delivered. Priceless! 

SaltySam

thetrim said:

I like to fart in a small glass tumbler, turn it upside down, and leave it on the counter.  It's amazing how long the smell will stay in there, and the person who turns it over gets a real treat.

You moved to the #1 spot on my favorite Eggers with this story.  

I did did this to my aunt when I was 12.  I put a little water in a Tupperware container, farted into it, and immediately sealed it.  My cousin said “What’s in the  green tupperware? It reeks!”  She took a big pull and gagged.  To a 12 year old, it was an unmatched moment in comedy. 

If I remember correctly, you’re from the midwest as well, right? Nebraska fan?

JohnInCarolina

thetrim said:

I like to fart in a small glass tumbler, turn it upside down, and leave it on the counter.  It's amazing how long the smell will stay in there, and the person who turns it over gets a real treat.

Why am I not surprised that you do this?