Most embarrassing trip to the doctor.... the rest of the story....

bgebrent

Good God Robin. Stay away from Hiawassee and get your butt better. 

1WVU

northGAcock said:

Well well well ladies and gentleman. The previous story may have been sunk....but there is more to this story. For you newbies.....http://eggheadforum.com/discussion/1212409/most-embarrassing-trip-to-the-doctor/p1

• Over the weekend my pain returned and I made the assumption that I had developed another cyst in the crack of my butt. Apparently, if you have them more than once, they look at alternative solutions to remove hair and thus reduce the risk of the ol butt cyst. Wife has been requesting of me to do some man scapping....but don't think the back side is what she was referencing. 
• Yesterday there is a growing level of discomfort and the wif checks it out for the first time (in almost 6 weeks). Its Mothers day, and she were not too happy with my gift that just seems to keep on giving. (She should have been a doctor instead of an art teacher though). Hell I could prob be retired by now.
• Ms. northGAcock takes a good look into the depths of the crevices known as Robins big ol butt...and determines that there is some inflammation. There is the appearance of a bump of sorts, but appears to be the old wound has turned purple or bruised looking
• Today (being Monday) I get up and my boxers (that is what i wear in case you are wondering) are all wet on the back side. I realize this when i turn to sit on the bed before standing up.
• Well low and behold, the bump / abscess had popped at some point in the night. It had drained (I'll spear you the details)....and I was now dropping blood. I took a shower and retreated to my old routine of cramming gauze soaked in peroxide in to the crack of my butt. 
• Wife confirms that it is in fact the same wound and not a new one....which I guess is a relief......or maybe not. Come to think of it, ain't got a clue what to think of it other than this $hit is back.
• I am now back in the market for more gauze dressing and peroxide. You might all want to consider purchasing stock into these products. I am using the Wallgreens 4-Ply dressing. 
• I called the doctors office and left a long message for the doctors nurse. I had to leave my name, phone number, date of berth and a detailed message on what I was calling about. Can you imagine the job of listening to that **** all day?
• The Doctor's office called around 2:30 this afternoon.....and apologized for my still having this problem. I had to explain that I didn't have this problem for about 4-5 weeks...butt i need it to go away permanently.
• Well they called me in some antibiotics and have me coming in on Wednesday for a look see.

I know you all have been on the edge of your seats since the old thread was sunk....and so here is a new one so you can keep up with the new developments. I am most certain there will be some pending humor, embarrassment, stupidity and general all around inconvenience.  More to follow as it unfolds.

Robin

“Million to one shot doc....million to one”.   It sounds like you have a fissure.  I know from experience.  Only way to treat is surgery.  

theyolksonyou

I think you need a port and a drain. Party should be prepared for daily maintenance.  It’ll be like having a tail.  

theyolksonyou

@Jeremiah could plug it up with some Bondo. 

JohnInCarolina

Robin if this keeps up we’re gonna have to change your forum handle to AssMan.

bgebrent

@southCACKALACKYazzHole. 

gmac

thetrim said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GH8Iihpk62E

That may be the least hairy dudes ass in history. Or maybe all aussies are like that. 
Yep. That’s the sort of stuff I watch before bed. 

theyolksonyou

Likely still available in SC. 

YukonRon

This is not the place to come for empathy, it seems.

JohnInCarolina

YukonRon said:

This is not the place to come for empathy, it seems.

You’re just figuring that out, Ron? 

jabam

I’m just amazed that you have a wife willing to inspect the crack of your a$$!

Mine would have said your on your own, and sat down with a strong drink in her hand lol!

Hoping for a speedy recovery for you brotha!

Jeremiah

theyolksonyou said:

@Jeremiah could plug it up with some Bondo. 

No but we have some real good urethane seam sealer. 

YukonRon

JohnInCarolina said:

YukonRon said:

This is not the place to come for empathy, it seems.

You’re just figuring that out, Ron? 

Um, it was, I will admit, a poor attempt at humor. I will stick to my day job......

epcotisbest

northGAcock

1WVU said:

northGAcock said:

Well well well ladies and gentleman. The previous story may have been sunk....but there is more to this story. For you newbies.....http://eggheadforum.com/discussion/1212409/most-embarrassing-trip-to-the-doctor/p1

• Over the weekend my pain returned and I made the assumption that I had developed another cyst in the crack of my butt. Apparently, if you have them more than once, they look at alternative solutions to remove hair and thus reduce the risk of the ol butt cyst. Wife has been requesting of me to do some man scapping....but don't think the back side is what she was referencing. 
• Yesterday there is a growing level of discomfort and the wif checks it out for the first time (in almost 6 weeks). Its Mothers day, and she were not too happy with my gift that just seems to keep on giving. (She should have been a doctor instead of an art teacher though). Hell I could prob be retired by now.
• Ms. northGAcock takes a good look into the depths of the crevices known as Robins big ol butt...and determines that there is some inflammation. There is the appearance of a bump of sorts, but appears to be the old wound has turned purple or bruised looking
• Today (being Monday) I get up and my boxers (that is what i wear in case you are wondering) are all wet on the back side. I realize this when i turn to sit on the bed before standing up.
• Well low and behold, the bump / abscess had popped at some point in the night. It had drained (I'll spear you the details)....and I was now dropping blood. I took a shower and retreated to my old routine of cramming gauze soaked in peroxide in to the crack of my butt. 
• Wife confirms that it is in fact the same wound and not a new one....which I guess is a relief......or maybe not. Come to think of it, ain't got a clue what to think of it other than this $hit is back.
• I am now back in the market for more gauze dressing and peroxide. You might all want to consider purchasing stock into these products. I am using the Wallgreens 4-Ply dressing. 
• I called the doctors office and left a long message for the doctors nurse. I had to leave my name, phone number, date of berth and a detailed message on what I was calling about. Can you imagine the job of listening to that **** all day?
• The Doctor's office called around 2:30 this afternoon.....and apologized for my still having this problem. I had to explain that I didn't have this problem for about 4-5 weeks...butt i need it to go away permanently.
• Well they called me in some antibiotics and have me coming in on Wednesday for a look see.

I know you all have been on the edge of your seats since the old thread was sunk....and so here is a new one so you can keep up with the new developments. I am most certain there will be some pending humor, embarrassment, stupidity and general all around inconvenience.  More to follow as it unfolds.

Robin

“Million to one shot doc....million to one”.   It sounds like you have a fissure.  I know from experience.  Only way to treat is surgery.  

I googled that....not the issue.

northGAcock

gmac said:

thetrim said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GH8Iihpk62E

That may be the least hairy dudes ass in history. Or maybe all aussies are like that. 
Yep. That’s the sort of stuff I watch before bed. 

@thetrim Wife said that is exactly what they did the first time. 

DoubleEgger

blind99

You go through life trying to be a good person, right? Generally not trying to hurt anyone, saying please and thank you. And this is what happens anyways. Butt infections. Your wife is clearly a saint. 

NC_Egghead

Duuude! I hope when you go to the Dr on Wednesday, he gets to the bottom of it. 

Hairless_Hand

Do NOT watch that video. 

northGAcock

bgebrent said:

Good God Robin. Stay away from Hiawassee and get your butt better. 

This is a minor setback Brent....I will be eating a slice or two of Nicole’s pie. 

nolaegghead

My brother has a cat with two buttholes.  I'll try to find a picture.  Seems relevant, somehow.

Chicklet

ER NP here and I've drained more than my fair share of abscesses.  The ones on the arse are the worst.  
Don't use peroxide on any type of skin wound.  It destroys good tissue and delays healing.  If it has already drained, you can do some sitz baths or just soak for a little while in a warm tub and then keep the area dry with some gauze.  

I wouldn't prescribe you an antibiotic unless this thing comes back or looks angry after a few days.  

johnmitchell

• Over the weekend my pain returned and I made the assumption that I had developed another cyst in the crack of my butt. Apparently, if you have them more than once, they look at alternative solutions to remove hair and thus reduce the risk of the ol butt cyst. Wife has been requesting of me to do some man scapping....but don't think the back side is what she was referencing. 

Hi Robin, hate you going through all this again...

While showering this morning got me thinking.. On the man scapping back there... What would be your weapon of choice to attack with... 

Oh sorry asking for a friend !!!

JohnInCarolina

johnmitchell said:

• Over the weekend my pain returned and I made the assumption that I had developed another cyst in the crack of my butt. Apparently, if you have them more than once, they look at alternative solutions to remove hair and thus reduce the risk of the ol butt cyst. Wife has been requesting of me to do some man scapping....but don't think the back side is what she was referencing. 

Hi Robin, hate you going through all this again...

While showering this morning got me thinking.. On the man scapping back there... What would be your weapon of choice to attack with... 

Oh sorry asking for a friend !!!

I’d go with a MAPP torch.

saluki2007

JohnInCarolina said:

johnmitchell said:

• Over the weekend my pain returned and I made the assumption that I had developed another cyst in the crack of my butt. Apparently, if you have them more than once, they look at alternative solutions to remove hair and thus reduce the risk of the ol butt cyst. Wife has been requesting of me to do some man scapping....but don't think the back side is what she was referencing. 

Hi Robin, hate you going through all this again...

While showering this morning got me thinking.. On the man scapping back there... What would be your weapon of choice to attack with... 

Oh sorry asking for a friend !!!

I’d go with a MAPP torch.

Oh God the smell.  Make sure you do it in a well ventilated area.

Spaightlabs

saluki2007 said:

I’d go with a MAPP torch.

Oh God the smell.  Make sure you do it in a well ventilated area.

gonna smell just like Sex Panther

Jupiter Jim

JohnInCarolina said:

johnmitchell said:

• Over the weekend my pain returned and I made the assumption that I had developed another cyst in the crack of my butt. Apparently, if you have them more than once, they look at alternative solutions to remove hair and thus reduce the risk of the ol butt cyst. Wife has been requesting of me to do some man scapping....but don't think the back side is what she was referencing. 

Hi Robin, hate you going through all this again...

While showering this morning got me thinking.. On the man scapping back there... What would be your weapon of choice to attack with... 

Oh sorry asking for a friend !!!

I’d go with a MAPP torch.

Totally agree will remove hair and disinfect at the same time!

northGAcock

Well today is the follow up visit with the surgeon. Luckily I am able to drive myself and will be leaving shortly. Already had the wif take a look at it and got a thumbs up....after i showered of course.

Have picked out one of my best-est tie dyes for the visit. Leaving early so I can grab a Frappe Mocha (large of course) from Ronald on the way. Should be an exciting morning.....may have to turn it into a sick day.

thetrim

Good luck...  Thanks in advance for the update later today.  I may pick up a sixer on the way home to enjoy while going thru tonight’s thread.