Charcutapalooza (long)

billt01

I truly enjoyed reading this post..

Ya damn overachiever...

Foghorn

20stone said:

Foghorn said:

<big snip of a bunch of libelous crap, though close enough to the truth to avoid litigation>

Don't say you haven't been warned.  They spotted me from a mile away.  Hopefully, you won't suffer the same fate.

Dude, you're 6'8".  Everyone spots you from a mile away.

Foghorn said:

-ideally someone who is busy with work/family but in their desire to contribute to an egghead group project would be willing to write a check for the good of the team

-when they are available they are hard workers and ideally they bring something else to the table (e.g. a supply of high quality beer)

Frankly, I think we need the labor more than the check, and when you and @keisterboy had a shoulder in a hog two minutes after showing up for our first effort, I knew we had the right guys.

You're referring to this?

The Cen-Tex Smoker

I remember that. that's when we were still happy. 

20stone

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

I remember that. that's when we were still happy. 

Words can hurt, Tex.  Words can hurt.

The Cen-Tex Smoker

20stone said:

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

I remember that. that's when we were still happy. 

Words can hurt, Tex.  Words can hurt.

I'm just in it for the Prosciutto at this point. You have me for another 18 months at the minimum. Master stroke on your part.  

20stone

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:
I'm just in it for the Prosciutto at this point. You have me for another 18 months at the minimum. Master stroke on your part.  

That works out then.  I am thinking we schedule AW/SSs 3-5 Nov, Jan and Mar.

The real masterstroke, however, will be when we hang another prosciutto in Jan, that will tie you up for ANOTHER 24 months.  Golden Meatcuffs, if you will

Foghorn

After AW/SS 5 when our herd is just a memory, I'm thinking we buy one of the full grown Texas Pata Negras that 20stone identified a while back and make some jamon iberico, which unfortunately takes a minimum of 2 years.

Crap.  Now I'm part of the problem...

GATraveller

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

I remember that. that's when we were still happy. 

This was a much nicer place back then.

20stone

20stone said:

The real masterstroke, however, will be when we hang another prosciutto in Jan, that will tie you up for ANOTHER 24 months.  Golden Meatcuffs, if you will

FYI, Andrew V said we could leave the hair on.  I think that the Moe prosciutto is definitely going to get done furry.

Foghorn said:

After AW/SS 5 when our herd is just a memory, I'm thinking we buy one of the full grown Texas Pata Negras that 20stone identified a while back and make some jamon iberico, which unfortunately takes a minimum of 2 years.

Crap.  Now I'm part of the problem...

I'm in!

Foghorn

Foghorn said:

After AW/SS 5 when our herd is just a memory, I'm thinking we buy one of the full grown Texas Pata Negras that 20stone identified a while back and make some jamon iberico, which unfortunately takes a minimum of 2 years.

Crap.  Now I'm part of the problem...

I'm in!

You don't say.

20stone

Foghorn said:

Foghorn said:

After AW/SS 5 when our herd is just a memory, I'm thinking we buy one of the full grown Texas Pata Negras that 20stone identified a while back and make some jamon iberico, which unfortunately takes a minimum of 2 years.

Crap.  Now I'm part of the problem...

I'm in!

You don't say.

Or, there's this:
https://houston.craigslist.org/grd/d/wagyu-cattle/6312580345.html

Now that would take a pretty big pit

Foghorn

When does your loving bride leave town next?

Foghorn

GATraveller said:

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

I remember that. that's when we were still happy. 

This was a much nicer place back then.

It was much more friendlier too.

caliking

We're gonna need more cinderblocks...

The Cen-Tex Smoker

Foghorn said:

Foghorn said:

After AW/SS 5 when our herd is just a memory, I'm thinking we buy one of the full grown Texas Pata Negras that 20stone identified a while back and make some jamon iberico, which unfortunately takes a minimum of 2 years.

Crap.  Now I'm part of the problem...

I'm in!

You don't say.

Who would have thought?

The Cen-Tex Smoker

Can't we just kill the ones we have first?

Foghorn

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

Can't we just kill the ones we have first?

Definitely.  That's the plan.  

Then a few months after we finish off our herd, when one of our charcuterie projects comes to fruition, we get together to enjoy the fruits of our previous labors as we purchase a full grown Texas Iberian (Texiberian?) and have a butcher session and start on some Iberian ham (a 2 year minimum process).

It's a never-ending rabbit hole.  

That stuff hanging in 20stone's cooler cost us about $100/slice, so we better get together and enjoy it.  But while we're together we may as well start on another project...

The Cen-Tex Smoker

Foghorn said:

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

Can't we just kill the ones we have first?

Definitely.  That's the plan.  

Then a few months after we finish off our herd, when one of our charcuterie projects comes to fruition, we get together to enjoy the fruits of our previous labors as we purchase a full grown Texas Iberian (Texiberian?) and have a butcher session and start on some Iberian ham (a 2 year minimum process).

It's a never-ending rabbit hole.  

That stuff hanging in 20stone's cooler cost us about $100/slice, so we better get together and enjoy it.  But while we're together we may as well start on another project...

I've heard all this logic before. 

Foghorn

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

Foghorn said:

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

Can't we just kill the ones we have first?

Definitely.  That's the plan.  

Then a few months after we finish off our herd, when one of our charcuterie projects comes to fruition, we get together to enjoy the fruits of our previous labors as we purchase a full grown Texas Iberian (Texiberian?) and have a butcher session and start on some Iberian ham (a 2 year minimum process).

It's a never-ending rabbit hole.  

That stuff hanging in 20stone's cooler cost us about $100/slice, so we better get together and enjoy it.  But while we're together we may as well start on another project...

I've heard all this logic before. 

And you're still hanging around...

20stone

Foghorn said:

<snip>

That stuff hanging in 20stone's cooler cost us about $100/slice, so we better get together and enjoy it.  But while we're together we may as well start on another project...

While I won't debate the overall economics of the grander pigventure, out of shame for the degree of death march of Charcutapalooza, Spot, the pig, and thus, the prosciutto, was provided gratis to the rest of you knuckleheads.  When I factor in the related infrastructure investments (see - wine fridge, Traulsen), I would be thrilled to get the cost down to $100/slice.

The Cen-Tex Smoker

Foghorn said:

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

Foghorn said:

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

Can't we just kill the ones we have first?

Definitely.  That's the plan.  

Then a few months after we finish off our herd, when one of our charcuterie projects comes to fruition, we get together to enjoy the fruits of our previous labors as we purchase a full grown Texas Iberian (Texiberian?) and have a butcher session and start on some Iberian ham (a 2 year minimum process).

It's a never-ending rabbit hole.  

That stuff hanging in 20stone's cooler cost us about $100/slice, so we better get together and enjoy it.  But while we're together we may as well start on another project...

I've heard all this logic before. 

And you're still hanging around...

I didn't say I wasn't susceptible to it. Just that I had heard it before. 

Foghorn

20stone said:

Foghorn said:

<snip>

That stuff hanging in 20stone's cooler cost us about $100/slice, so we better get together and enjoy it.  But while we're together we may as well start on another project...

While I won't debate the overall economics of the grander pigventure, out of shame for the degree of death march of Charcutapalooza, Spot, the pig, and thus, the prosciutto, was provided gratis to the rest of you knuckleheads.  When I factor in the related infrastructure investments (see - wine fridge, Traulsen), I would be thrilled to get the cost down to $100/slice.

Yeah, when I'm paying $100/slice, you'll be down to about $500/slice.

I look at it like deep sea fishing.  You're paying for the trip/journey, not for a good price of fish by the pound.  This is similar.  So while I/we may throw out the smart-alecky comment from time to time, it has been a great journey and one I hope to continue.

As an aside, my daughter told me that you made a comment about my wife's take on our butchering escapades.  She surmised that you were doing a litmus test to size her up on that issue.

The Cen-Tex Smoker

Foghorn said:

20stone said:

Foghorn said:

<snip>

That stuff hanging in 20stone's cooler cost us about $100/slice, so we better get together and enjoy it.  But while we're together we may as well start on another project...

While I won't debate the overall economics of the grander pigventure, out of shame for the degree of death march of Charcutapalooza, Spot, the pig, and thus, the prosciutto, was provided gratis to the rest of you knuckleheads.  When I factor in the related infrastructure investments (see - wine fridge, Traulsen), I would be thrilled to get the cost down to $100/slice.

Yeah, when I'm paying $100/slice, you'll be down to about $500/slice.

I look at it like deep sea fishing.  You're paying for the trip/journey, not for a good price of fish by the pound.  This is similar.  So while I/we may throw out the smart-alecky comment from time to time, it has been a great journey and one I hope to continue.

As an aside, my daughter told me that you made a comment about my wife's take on our butchering escapades.  She surmised that you were doing a litmus test to size her up on that issue.

Agreed on all points. I just have to razz since we have ended up here when the original pitch was "hey, let's buy a hog and butcher it over a weekend".

Your daughter definitely had some hot takes on your wife's stance on our little pig murder operation. She's a funny one. 

20stone

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

Foghorn said:

As an aside, my daughter told me that you made a comment about my wife's take on our butchering escapades.  She surmised that you were doing a litmus test to size her up on that issue.

Agreed on all points. I just have to razz since we have ended up here when the original pitch was "hey, let's buy a hog and butcher it over a weekend".

Your daughter definitely had some hot takes on your wife's stance on our little pig murder operation. She's a funny one. 

Like you and @keisterboy with the pig, she was at OBR for a hot minute before she was going full throttle.  She is welcome at AW/SS3 as far as I am concerned.

Foghorn

At some point, she'll use it to push me wife's buttons.  As a 22 year old college graduate she's able to come and go as she pleases when she's at home, yet my wife still reverts to mothering and will ask her "so, why were you out so late last night?".

She actually is really just trying to have a pleasant conversation and is not even being judgmental most of the time.  My daughter could answer "I ran into some old friends from high school and we stayed out until the bars closed" and all my wife would want to do is continue the conversation about how some of her old friends are doing.

But my daughter sees my wife's questioning  as being nosy and intrusive so, with a straight face, she'll say "well you told me not to drive when I'm strung out on heroin so I slept it off for a few hours and then drove home after I sobered up".

It's hard to discourage this sort of thing from my daughter while I'm laughing on the inside.

20stone

Foghorn said:

At some point, she'll use it to push me wife's buttons.  

<snip>

It's hard to discourage this sort of thing from my daughter while I'm laughing on the inside.

One of my sisters once claimed to think she was pregnant (at 15) when our mom was trying to talk her out of dating an older guy.  She was, however, on the pill at the time, and was just going for the easy kill.

Mothers and daughters.. .ugh

Legume

Jeeez, have you all been spying on my house?  @Foghorn your story is spot on.

Foghorn

Legume said:

Jeeez, have you all been spying on my house?  @Foghorn your story is spot on.

You have my empathy @Legume.  

20stone

With the last egg cook and moving out today, came final resolution of what the heck do you do when you are halfway into a prosciutto project, and you move where you can’t put your chamber. 

For “circle of life” reasons, I am tacking this on here, though many threads have been launched during my time as the Team NFA charcuterer. 

After some experimentation with a chest freezer, I ended up buying a used Traulsen commercial wine fridge, and adding humidity control. (PLEASE NOTE - it is FOR SALE). 




It has done an awesome job, but is too big for high rise living. 

Plan A - Get one of my “partners in crime” to put it in THEIR garage. In fact, we had a signed agreement, but apparently my buddy wasn’t man enough to stare down a hostile response from his spouse confronted with a possible fourth refrigeration device in the garage and he weaseled out only taking a truckload if sausage gear. 

Plan B - Sell it to a meat driven restaurant, an have them hang the prosciuttos, or, just sell it, and pay a butcher under the table to hang the prosciuttos in their locker. 

Well, Austin ain’t Chicago, and there are apparently “chain of custody” laws around putting room temperature meat in a commercial location. You won’t hear me say this often, but “THE GUBMENT IS GETTING IN MY BIDNESS AND F@&$ING MY S@&$ UP!!”

Now we are on Plan C - Find another properly acclimatized place that will accept some amount of money to hang the prosciuttos.  I won’t tell you where, but there is a reason I was hanging my stuff in a wine fridge. 

First, I had to get it there, since you can’t have your movers just throw them on the truck.

I wanted to keep them hanging, and keep them from banging into each other, or the sides of a box or cooler, which would also tear up the sugna (a lard, rice flour, pepper mix that covers the exposed meat part of the ham).

After some careful measurements, a wardrobe box was cut down JUST enough to fit in @20stonespice’s X5 (31.5”, if you want to try yourself). I then fashioned some stocks out of scrap wood we used when we finished our garage. 

(In the box)


(All McGyvered up)


(Tucked in for the ride to their new home)


(Hanging out together in an undisclosed location)


One other fun thing, Andrew V, the butcher who taught us craft butchery on Spot, which produced the older prosciutto, now lives in Colorado. As it turns out, though, he was in Houston yesterday for an Agricole Hospitality (the Coltivare team) alumni cook.  I wanted his Italian-trained nose to check in on things, but he was buried in prep, so I laid the hams (on packing paper) into the back of the X5 and we did some shady parking lot prosciutto inspection, horse bone and all. 

He gave them both a thumbs up, so I remain hopeful. 

The Cen-Tex Smoker

20stone said:

With the last egg cook and moving out today, came final resolution of what the heck do you do when you are halfway into a prosciutto project, and you move where you can’t put your chamber. 

For “circle of life” reasons, I am tacking this on here, though many threads have been launched during my time as the NFA charcuterer. 

After some experimentation with a chest freezer, I ended up buying a used Traulsen commercial wine fridge, and adding humidity control. (PLEASE NOTE - it is FOR SALE). 




It has done an awesome job, but is too big for high rise living. 

Plan A - Get one of my “partners in crime” to put it in THEIR garage. In fact, we had a signed agreement, but apparently my buddy wasn’t man enough to stare down a hostile response from his spouse confronted with a possible fourth refrigeration device in the garage and he weaseled out only taking a truckload if sausage gear. 

Plan B - Sell it to a meat driven restaurant, an have them hang the prosciuttos, or, just sell it, and pay a butcher under the table to hang the prosciuttos in their locker. 

Well, Austin ain’t Chicago, and there are apparently “chain of custody” laws around putting room temperature meat in a commercial location. You won’t hear me say this often, but “THE GUBMENT IS GETTING IN MY BIDNESS AND F@&$ING MY S@&$ UP!!”

Now we are on Plan C - Find another properly acclimatized place that will accept some amount of money to hang the prosciuttos.  I won’t tell you where, but there is a reason I was hanging my stuff in a wine fridge. 

First, I had to get it there, since you can’t have your movers just throw them on the truck.

I wanted to keep them hanging, and keep them from banging into each other, or the sides of a box or cooler, which would also tear up the sugna (a lard, rice flour, pepper mix that covers the exposed meat part of the ham. 

After some careful measurements, a wardrobe box was cut down JUST enough to fit in @20stonespice’s X5 (31.5”, if you want to try yourself). I then fashioned some stocks out of scrap wood from finishing our garage. 

(In the box)


(All McGyvered up)


(Tucked in for the ride to their new home)


(Hanging out together in an undisclosed location)


One other fun thing, Andrew V, the butcher who taught us on Spot, which produced the older prosciutto, now lives in Colorado. As it turns out, though, he was in Houston yesterday for an Agricole Hospitality (the Coltivare team) alumni cook.  I wanted his Italian-trained nose to check in on things, but he was buried in prep, so I laid the hams (on packing paper) into the back of the X5 and we did some shady parking lot prosciutto inspection, horse bone and all. 

He gave them both a thumbs up, so I remain hopeful. 

Ha ha. All true and thank you for sharing to the greater group your bottomless appetite for $hit-showery. 

Glad to hear the hams are still...uh...hanging in there. Welcome to austin btw.