BGE (user) Fails???

The Cen-Tex Smoker

nolaegghead said:

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

minniemoh said:

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

Was this a marinated cook?

There were watermelons involved. and rafts, and a 5 hour gap in time that I still do not recall

Did that have anything to do with the time you called up the other John and told him to pick up a case of grapefruit, 2 handles of Titos, a roll of duct tape, at least 10 feet of garden hose, a megaphone, 1 mason jar, a gross of Popsicle sticks, a bird cage, snorkel and fins, but no mask, 4" flexible aluminum dryer duct, some Rutland gasket with a tube of Permatex (anything but gold, you said), 1 60 watt light bulb, a wooden crate from a turnip farm, green extension cord that's at least 14 gauge, two garden gnomes, one tube of anchovy paste, box of birthday candles, 6 old paperback books and a rusty trombone?

Sounds familiar but you'll have to be more specific

nolaegghead

I might be confusing all this with something that Hunter S. Thompson may have done in Vegas.  Or it was at Salado or Brisket Camp.  I have some memory gaps that I can't seem to remember either.

Foghorn

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

If my dad had cooked with a thermometer he would have seen these numbers and let us know that dinner will be ready in 5 more minutes...

sumoconnell

Early on, cooked a bunch of prime steaks for guests.. Too many on at once, cooled the egg, and I was waiting for a char, not looking at IT.  Overcooked every single one to well done ++.  

Carolina Q

nolaegghead said:

don't know who this was

User was lowercase bill. And it was not user error, but a magical BGE design flaw. 

One of the reasons I hate to see eggs on decks (this was on concrete) or remote wifi monitoring. 

JustineCaseyFeldown

Carolina Q said:

nolaegghead said:

don't know who this was

User was lowercase bill. And it was not user error, but a magical BGE design flaw. 

One of the reasons I hate to see eggs on decks (this was on concrete) or remote wifi monitoring. 

that old stand was basically a chiminea stand.  the chimineas had round bottoms which did not lower into the ring, but sat atop it.

put a BGE in it though, and the ring expands when hot.  the BGE drops slightly lower into it.  everything cools, and the BGE is wedged.

repeat a few times and the ring eventually makes a nice crack all the way around until the bottom drops out.

ooops

Botch

Trombones can't rust.  

nolaegghead

Botch said:

Trombones can't rust.  

My advice is to not google this, ever.

HofstraJet

nolaegghead said:

Botch said:

Trombones can't rust.  

My advice is to not google this, ever.

I just asked Google to read me the responses.

Botch

Google is run by the russians.  I read about it.  

Jupiter Jim

nolaegghead said:

don't know who this was

I think it was an old forum member Lowercasebill, BGE stopped making that stand for the Mini after a couple people had that happen to them. 

Foghorn

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

nolaegghead said:

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

minniemoh said:

The Cen-Tex Smoker said:

Was this a marinated cook?

There were watermelons involved. and rafts, and a 5 hour gap in time that I still do not recall

Did that have anything to do with the time you called up the other John and told him to pick up a case of grapefruit, 2 handles of Titos, a roll of duct tape, at least 10 feet of garden hose, a megaphone, 1 mason jar, a gross of Popsicle sticks, a bird cage, snorkel and fins, but no mask, 4" flexible aluminum dryer duct, some Rutland gasket with a tube of Permatex (anything but gold, you said), 1 60 watt light bulb, a wooden crate from a turnip farm, green extension cord that's at least 14 gauge, two garden gnomes, one tube of anchovy paste, box of birthday candles, 6 old paperback books and a rusty trombone?

Sounds familiar but you'll have to be more specific

And a donkey.

nolaegghead

jbreed

this is the funniest damn post I have ever read on here! 

For my escapades, I have burned hair (I'm bald now), burned my legs from flames out of the bottom (I think the pants made it worse), left butternut squash cooking overnight not once, but 4 different times (i hate those things).  Undercooked every cook for the first 2 months after I moved from FL to Denver (I still have most of my kids). Then there's - "Here, hold my beer"....

SurfsideMike

Ha! Just checked back on this thread and glad to see it still going. Very entertaining stuff and I learned some things to look out for too.  Glad to see we can all look back and laugh about it now- except for the broken eggs- i'm sorry for your loss, my condolences. And thanks to all the regulars here for taking the time and sharing your tips and experiences throughout the forum. Great group here! - keep the stories coming!

Ozzie_Isaac

http://www.ehow.com/how_6109401_remove-rust-off-trombone.html

ToTheMax

I had a fail on day 1. And to top it off, my wife was there telling me I told you so.

I unpack the egg, assemble it per instructions, and was happy to start my first cook. I load up the charcoal, light it, put on the firebox grate, put on the regular grate, and wait... why is the damn thing not coming up to temperature????

My wife is standing there telling me "you put the charcoal in the wrong place". I tell her "I got this, it's a grill, you think I never used one of these?" and she walks away.

A little googling, and a few hours later, o snap, the charcoal doesn't go in the airbox, it goes above the firebox grate....

HofstraJet

Ozzie_Isaac said:

http://www.ehow.com/how_6109401_remove-rust-off-trombone.html

FTFY

Ozzie_Isaac

HofstraJet said:

Ozzie_Isaac said:

http://www.ehow.com/how_6109401_remove-rust-off-trombone.html

FTFY

Lol!  Must be a band camp thing.

xfire_ATX

I haven't had an epic fail using the grill (yet).  I have however 3 different times cooked a pork loin and put it in the oven which is off - keep it warm, keep dogs from stealing off counter and forgot and left the damn thing in the oven.  One time it was probably 5 days before we used the oven and saw it.  

We actually bought a pyrex dish with a cover to solve this problem.  Cheaper than losing another pork loin

HofstraJet

xfire_ATX said:

I haven't had an epic fail using the grill (yet).  I have however 3 different times cooked a pork loin and put it in the oven which is off - keep it warm, keep dogs from stealing off counter and forgot and left the damn thing in the oven.  One time it was probably 5 days before we used the oven and saw it.  

We actually bought a pyrex dish with a cover to solve this problem.  Cheaper than losing another pork loin

Didn't you wonder where dinner was?

THEBuckeye

ToTheMax said:

I had a fail on day 1. And to top it off, my wife was there telling me I told you so.

I unpack the egg, assemble it per instructions, and was happy to start my first cook. I load up the charcoal, light it, put on the firebox grate, put on the regular grate, and wait... why is the damn thing not coming up to temperature????

My wife is standing there telling me "you put the charcoal in the wrong place". I tell her "I got this, it's a grill, you think I never used one of these?" and she walks away.

A little googling, and a few hours later, o snap, the charcoal doesn't go in the airbox, it goes above the firebox grate....

I'm not sure I would admit that in public, let alone on this forum. Glad you got it thought through quickly.

ToTheMax

THEBuckeye said:

ToTheMax said:

I had a fail on day 1. And to top it off, my wife was there telling me I told you so.

I unpack the egg, assemble it per instructions, and was happy to start my first cook. I load up the charcoal, light it, put on the firebox grate, put on the regular grate, and wait... why is the damn thing not coming up to temperature????

My wife is standing there telling me "you put the charcoal in the wrong place". I tell her "I got this, it's a grill, you think I never used one of these?" and she walks away.

A little googling, and a few hours later, o snap, the charcoal doesn't go in the airbox, it goes above the firebox grate....

I'm not sure I would admit that in public, let alone on this forum. Glad you got it thought through quickly.

I have thick skin, I don't really care, and after the fact I thought it was hilarious.

Add to it that I told my wife that on that little amount of charcoal the BGE can run for 24 hours, I read so on the internet, trust me!

Ozzie_Isaac

ToTheMax said:

THEBuckeye said:

ToTheMax said:

I had a fail on day 1. And to top it off, my wife was there telling me I told you so.

I unpack the egg, assemble it per instructions, and was happy to start my first cook. I load up the charcoal, light it, put on the firebox grate, put on the regular grate, and wait... why is the damn thing not coming up to temperature????

My wife is standing there telling me "you put the charcoal in the wrong place". I tell her "I got this, it's a grill, you think I never used one of these?" and she walks away.

A little googling, and a few hours later, o snap, the charcoal doesn't go in the airbox, it goes above the firebox grate....

I'm not sure I would admit that in public, let alone on this forum. Glad you got it thought through quickly.

I have thick skin, I don't really care, and after the fact I thought it was hilarious.

Add to it that I told my wife that on that little amount of charcoal the BGE can run for 24 hours, I read so on the internet, trust me!

that is a lot of work to get the lump down there.