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OT- The Daily Joke

24

Comments

  • Tinyfish
    Tinyfish Posts: 1,755
    What's better then then Roses on a piano. ?

    Tulips on my Organ. ..
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  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 16,200
    What's worse than a lobster on your piano?
     
    Crabs on your organ...
     
     
    I used to have a 12" plastic lobster on my keyboard stand when I played in a band, and at least one vulnerable lady would ask me that question every gig.
    I'm so mean.   
    >:)
    ___________

    "When small men begin to cast big shadows, it means that the sun is about to set."

    - Lin Yutang


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  • Little Steven
    Little Steven Posts: 28,817
    Guy goes upstairs to find his wife crying in the bedroom. She says "Bob, I'm old and I'm fat and I'm ugly and I need a compliment real bad" Bob says "Well honey your eyesight seems to be holding up pretty well"

    Steve 

    Caledon, ON

     

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  • johnkitchens
    johnkitchens Posts: 5,227
    A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

    Louisville, GA - 2 Large BGE's
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  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 16,200

     
    Hah!  
    ___________

    "When small men begin to cast big shadows, it means that the sun is about to set."

    - Lin Yutang


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  • Ozzie_Isaac
    Ozzie_Isaac Posts: 20,500

    Maybe your purpose in life is only to serve as an example for others? - LPL


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  • Sardonicus
    Sardonicus Posts: 1,700
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELuNeOItpPE
    "Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and barbecuing."      - George Burns

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  • Acn
    Acn Posts: 4,448
    Botch said:

     
    Hah!  
    Why does Barbie never get pregnant?

    Because Ken comes in a different box.

    LBGE

    Pikesville, MD

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  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 16,200
    NSFW (language) but SO true!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyTA33HQZLA

    ___________

    "When small men begin to cast big shadows, it means that the sun is about to set."

    - Lin Yutang


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  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 32,516
    You guys have the filthiest freakin minds.  

    I love this forum.
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
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  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 16,200

    ___________

    "When small men begin to cast big shadows, it means that the sun is about to set."

    - Lin Yutang


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  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 16,200
    An Oldie but a Goodie:  BBC Voiceovers
     

    ___________

    "When small men begin to cast big shadows, it means that the sun is about to set."

    - Lin Yutang


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  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 16,200
    No.  Do not fly your shiny new drone into the chimpanzee exhibit.
     
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_zw8h4epQM
     
    :lol: 
    ___________

    "When small men begin to cast big shadows, it means that the sun is about to set."

    - Lin Yutang


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  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 16,200
    ___________

    "When small men begin to cast big shadows, it means that the sun is about to set."

    - Lin Yutang


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  • henapple
    henapple Posts: 16,025
    Dad: son, it's ok to masturbate but too much will make you go blind.

    Son: dad, I'm over here 
    Green egg, dead animal and alcohol. The "Boro".. TN 
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  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 17,967
    Why do shepherds wear robes? 

    Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away! 
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  • Fred19Flintstone
    Fred19Flintstone Posts: 8,173
    DoubleEgger said:
    Why do shepherds wear robes? 

    Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away! 
    That's like the joke I heard about Caledon, OT.  Caledon:  Where men are men and sheep are nervous!
    Flint, Michigan
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  • Wolfpack
    Wolfpack Posts: 3,552
    Little Johnny was in class squirming in his seat. He raised his hand and told the teacher "I gotta piss, I gotta piss real bad. Man oh man I got piss. I gotta go right now"

    teacher- "now Johnny- in this class we say urinate, now please ask me again correctly with the word urinate. 

    little Johnny-"teacher urinate but if you got a boob job you'd be a 10"
    Greensboro, NC
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  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 16,200
    ___________

    "When small men begin to cast big shadows, it means that the sun is about to set."

    - Lin Yutang


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  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 16,200

     
    ___________

    "When small men begin to cast big shadows, it means that the sun is about to set."

    - Lin Yutang


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • milesvdustin
    milesvdustin Posts: 2,882
    Would you rather have leg sized fingers or finger sized legs? 

    2 LBGE, Blackstone 36, Jumbo Joe

    Egging in Southern Illinois (Marion)

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  • mtbguy
    mtbguy Posts: 299
    Thats funny, I don't care who you are.
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  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 16,200
    Ah, I remember Finals Week.....
     

    ___________

    "When small men begin to cast big shadows, it means that the sun is about to set."

    - Lin Yutang


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  • Botch
    Botch Posts: 16,200
    ___________

    "When small men begin to cast big shadows, it means that the sun is about to set."

    - Lin Yutang


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  • SwineBelly
    SwineBelly Posts: 14

    Doc: Well sir, you’re quite healthy for 80 years old. How do you do it?

    Man: Squirrel hunting. Fresh air and hunting will do it. My Dad taught me that.

    Doc: Really? How old was your Dad when he died?

    Man: Who said anything about my Dad being dead? He went squirrel hunting with me this morning.

    Doc: That’s incredible! He must be a hundred years old.

    Man: A hundred and two. 

    Doc: Well how old was his Dad when he died?

    Man: Who said anything about my grandpa being dead?

    Doc: Wait a minute. He must be close to 120 years old. Don’t tell me he went squirrel hunting this morning with you and your dad!

    Man: Grandpa is 121. No, he didn’t come with us. He was getting married.

    Doc: Now why in the world would a man 121 years old want to get married??

    Man: Who said anything about him wanting to get married?

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  • Hunter1881
    Hunter1881 Posts: 406
    Henderson TN. 1 large BGE, 1 Webber Gasser (recently seems to have converted into a warming oven)
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  • Nanook
    Nanook Posts: 846
    GWN
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  • Sardonicus
    Sardonicus Posts: 1,700
    edited July 2015

    A midget from Texas was experiencing constant pain in his crotch area, so he went to the doctor and told him about his problem.

    The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up on the examining table, and started to examine him.

    The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.
    "Hmm..." mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle,     he asked the midget to cough again.

    "Aha!" said the doctor, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side... then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.

    The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement
    that the snipping did not hurt.

    The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to
    see if his testicles still hurt.

    The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.

    The doctor said, "How does that feel now?" The midget replied, “Perfect Doc, and I didn't feel a thing. What did you do?"

    The doctor replied "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."


    "Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and barbecuing."      - George Burns

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  • The Cen-Tex Smoker
    The Cen-Tex Smoker Posts: 23,132
    I think they prefer to be called "little people"
    Keepin' It Weird in The ATX FBTX
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