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OT - Not Misused, But Funny Phrases Nonetheless - OT

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  • Hans61
    Hans61 Posts: 3,901
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    When someone did something odd, a friend of mine would call then nuttier than squirrel poop 
    “There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body.”
    Coach Finstock Teen Wolf
  • northGAcock
    northGAcock Posts: 15,164
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    Useless as a box of hair!
    Ellijay GA with a Medium & MiniMax

    Well, I married me a wife, she's been trouble all my life,
    Run me out in the cold rain and snow
  • evie1370
    evie1370 Posts: 506
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    I had a friend from Calgary-one of their favorite sayings for people who were all talk, and nothing else was he was "All hat, but no cattle". Still one of my favorites.

    Medium BGE in Cincinnati OH.

    "

    "I don't know what effect these men will have upon the enemy, but, by God, they frighten me. " Duke of Wellington, Battle of Waterloo.
  • Foghorn
    Foghorn Posts: 9,846
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    "Slicker than duck poop"


    'Hard work never hurt anybody" - (from my grandma)


    And the most controversial...


    "She's so hot I'd suck a 20 foot tapeworm out of her a$$" - (from a work colleague)

    XXL BGE, Karebecue, Klose BYC, Chargiller Akorn Kamado, Weber Smokey Mountain, Grand Turbo gasser, Weber Smoky Joe, and the wheelbarrow that my grandfather used to cook steaks from his cattle

    San Antonio, TX

  • fishlessman
    fishlessman Posts: 32,776
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    my favorite this week with the left waking up....what about bill =)
    fukahwee maine

    you can lead a fish to water but you can not make him drink it
  • YEMTrey
    YEMTrey Posts: 6,829
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    In reference to noticing a very attractive woman:

     

    “I’d hit that so hard that whomever could pull me out of it would be the rightful King of England!”

    Steve 
    XL, Mini Max, and a 22" Blackstone in Cincinnati, Ohio

  • AllaboutBob
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    "You could screw up a steel ball."
    BGE Large. Ok, a Webber Gasser too.
  • Fred19Flintstone
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    Foghorn said:no
    "Slicker than duck poop"

    I'm not sure about duck poop, but I know for sure dog sh!t can be very slick.  Years ago, I was appraising a house with a walkout basement.  Measuring the house from the front to the rear, you generally go down an 8 to 10 foot slope.  Guess what area Rover was using as a toilet.  I slipped on it and slid down the slope through more sh!t.  Yep.  It's pretty slick.
    Flint, Michigan
  • GATraveller
    GATraveller Posts: 8,207
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    Is a frog's azz water tight?

    "Social media gives legions of idiots the right to speak when they once only spoke at a bar after a glass of wine, without harming the community [...] but now they have the same right to speak as a Nobel Prize winner. It's the invasion of the idiots."

                                                                                  -Umberto Eco

    2 Large
    Peachtree Corners, GA
  • Gulfcoastguy
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    Nobody ever drowned in sweat. 
  • spray
    spray Posts: 57
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    Common sense ain't so common... and neither is common courtesy.                                                                                                                                           Your as full of $hit as a Christmas turkey.                                                                                                                                                                                    You tell more lies than a fisherman.




    Large BGE and MiniMax in St. Petersburg, FL
  • fishlessman
    fishlessman Posts: 32,776
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    spray said:
                                                                                                                                               You tell more lies than a fisherman.




    hey......... =)
    fukahwee maine

    you can lead a fish to water but you can not make him drink it
  • SamIAm2
    SamIAm2 Posts: 1,898
    edited November 2017
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    Advice from an old Pennsylvania Dutchman to a young groom - kissin' wears out, cookin' don't.
    Response to a whining teens lament we've all heard - "That's no fair" is "It's no picnic either".
    Last an old one - "Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do."
    Ubi panis, ibi patria.
    Large - Roswell rig, MiniMax-PS Woo; Cocoa, Fl.
  • Foghorn
    Foghorn Posts: 9,846
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    YEMTrey said:

    In reference to noticing a very attractive woman:

     

    “I’d hit that so hard that whomever could pull me out of it would be the rightful King of England!”

    Upon reading that, my first thought was “I’m going to use that”.

    Then I remembered that I’ve been married for 24 years. 

    XXL BGE, Karebecue, Klose BYC, Chargiller Akorn Kamado, Weber Smokey Mountain, Grand Turbo gasser, Weber Smoky Joe, and the wheelbarrow that my grandfather used to cook steaks from his cattle

    San Antonio, TX

  • bucky925
    bucky925 Posts: 2,029
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    He could break a anvil. 

    Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.

  • Gulfcoastguy
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    Jokes are like grenades, some people don't get them until 5 seconds later.
  • Gulfcoastguy
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    When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
  • Holepuncher
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    My father, " You boys would tear up a steel ball with a rubber hammer".
    Hendersonville, TN.
  • Mattman3969
    Mattman3969 Posts: 10,457
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    My dad would always say after I said something he thought was stupid "Engage your brain before you engage your tongue".  

    -----------------------------------------

    analyze adapt overcome

    2008 -Large BGE. 2013- Small BGE and 2015 - Mini. Henderson, Ky.
  • JohnInCarolina
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    “Wound tighter than a girdle on a Baptist minister’s wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast.”
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 30,981
    edited November 2017
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    my favorite this week with the left waking up....what about bill =)
    Almost as hilarious as what about George H.W. Bush? =) What about Clarence Thomas? =) What about Dennis Hastert? =) What about Larry Craig? =) What about Mark Foley? =) What about Donald Trump? =)
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
  • bud812
    bud812 Posts: 1,869
    edited November 2017
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    My Dad always said , anybody that would eat that $hit would eat mayonnaise. 

    Not to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution...

    Large & Small BGE

    Stockton Ca.

  • GATraveller
    GATraveller Posts: 8,207
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    Wha bout Al Franken.  =)

    "Social media gives legions of idiots the right to speak when they once only spoke at a bar after a glass of wine, without harming the community [...] but now they have the same right to speak as a Nobel Prize winner. It's the invasion of the idiots."

                                                                                  -Umberto Eco

    2 Large
    Peachtree Corners, GA
  • nlovold
    nlovold Posts: 194
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    I used to fish up in NW Ontario quite a bit.  One day I asked a local guide/sportman shop owner about this very remote lake I found on the map.  I asked him about hiking a small boat in there and fishing where likely nobody had been in 2-3 years.  His reply, “that place is nothing but a fvcking bunch of moose grass and loon sh!t”!  I had to go out there, but the man was right!
  • pgprescott
    pgprescott Posts: 14,544
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    Busier than a one eyed cat watching two mouse holes!

    worthless as a one legged man in an a** kicking contest! 

    Dont worry about the horse going blind, just load the cart. 

    One of my my personal favorites when I want to disrespect one of my buddies during a multi person discussion about sports or whatever, is to say “ quiet down now, the men are talking” 
  • fishlessman
    fishlessman Posts: 32,776
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    my favorite this week with the left waking up....what about bill =)
    Almost as hilarious as what about George H.W. Bush? =) What about Clarence Thomas? =) What about Dennis Hastert? =) What about Larry Craig? =) What about Mark Foley? =) What about Donald Trump? =)
    it will be funny in 20 years if the main stream media has breaking news that maybe they really did it. what about bill is breaking news dontchaknow =)
    fukahwee maine

    you can lead a fish to water but you can not make him drink it
  • GATraveller
    GATraveller Posts: 8,207
    Options
    my favorite this week with the left waking up....what about bill =)
    Almost as hilarious as what about George H.W. Bush? =) What about Clarence Thomas? =) What about Dennis Hastert? =) What about Larry Craig? =) What about Mark Foley? =) What about Donald Trump? =)
    it will be funny in 20 years if the main stream media has breaking news that maybe they really did it. what about bill is breaking news dontchaknow =)
    I think you'd be hard pressed to find a single male in the world, who drinks regularly, that hasn't gotten "handsy" with a female at least once in their life.  

    "Social media gives legions of idiots the right to speak when they once only spoke at a bar after a glass of wine, without harming the community [...] but now they have the same right to speak as a Nobel Prize winner. It's the invasion of the idiots."

                                                                                  -Umberto Eco

    2 Large
    Peachtree Corners, GA