OT - Not Misused, But Funny Phrases Nonetheless - OT

Fred19Flintstone

My Mom was fond of this one.

Hans61

Fred19Flintstone said:

My Mom was fond of this one.

My grandpa and Mom would say “it’s better than a kick in the pants.”

johnnyp

My grandparents were extremely poor and my grandmother’s way of saying “don’t be a sucker”  was “don’t take no wooden nickels”.

As a matter of fact, the last words my grandmother ever said to me were “Don’t take no wooden nickels”.   Silly little phrase, but has great meaning to me now 

Gulfcoastguy

Working construction all of those years I heard a lot of them, most rather R rated. A PG 13 one is " Don't pee on my head and tell me that it's raining". 

Fred19Flintstone

From one of my favorite Clint Eastwood movies.  Good one!

bud812

MrCookingNurse

bud812 said:

  

Botch

"When you have a big nail, you need a big hammer."
 
    - anytime someone mentions my fat ass

PatrickJ117

When dealing with somone nit picking..."You're seperating fly shxt from pepper"---and if they have no idea what they are talking about..."You're trying to seperate fly shxt from pepper in a coal mine"

Markarm4119

How about these : your Stalin's like a dog sh@$@#!g a peach seed, and when someone is BSsing you : try spreading that on a cracker and eating it !

theyolksonyou

PatrickJ117 said:

When dealing with somone nit picking..."You're seperating fly shxt from pepper"---and if they have no idea what they are talking about..."You're trying to seperate fly shxt from pepper in a coal mine"

I use picking fly shît from the pepper shaker a lot. People being picky when unnecessary. 

DoubleEgger

Hotter than two rats fvcking in a wool sock. 

theyolksonyou

DoubleEgger said:

Hotter than two rats fvcking in a wool sock. 

Or a fresh fvcked fox in a forest fire. 

CanadianAnvil

My dad's one growing up was "That's as useful as tits on a bull"

TRG

on a positive note:  Handy as a pocket on a shirt.

JohnInCarolina

I grew up painting houses with my father in the summers.  Whenever we finished a job, my Dad would tell the owner “Looks good from my house!”  

Eggaroo

I remember going on vacation with my parents as a young boy and stopping at a service station when they actually provided services. The attendant checked the oil in the car and came to the window and told my dad “she’s full as a tick on a St. Bernard”. Funny how that has stuck with me for 50+ years. 

GrillSgt

My wife is from the beautiful Prince Edward Island. One of my favorites is that an early riser is said to be up "before crow piss".

YEMTrey

I had a boss for a job while in college that would always remind us:  "You can't soar with the Eagles if you Hoot with the owls!"

ScarletFire

"If your Aunt had a d!ck she'd be your Uncle"

Wolfpack

When your trying to coral a group-

Like herding cats

Or putting socks on an octopus

Out late at a bar-

A 2 at 10 is a 10 at 2

stlcharcoal

theyolksonyou said:

DoubleEgger said:

Hotter than two rats fvcking in a wool sock. 

Or a fresh fvcked fox in a forest fire. 

Hotter than a four-balled tomcat

Hotter than a two-peckered billy goat 

YEMTrey

She's built like a brick sh!t house!

The_Stache

"Great gobs of hogwash!"

DoubleEgger

A buddy of mine actually used this line at the bars...

Baby, I'd dribble a basketball through a mine field just to hear you fart on a walkie talkie. 

TN_Egger

Dumber than a bag of hammers.  

easy...as in "can of corn"

and one of my favorites..."coyote ugly"  love the backstory behind that phrase.

Brisket_Fanatic

My Granddad would always say - with a clean plate - "That was almost good enough to eat"

Nervous as a whore in church

Uglier than a sack of a**holes

pgprescott

TN_Egger said:

Dumber than a bag of hammers.  

easy...as in "can of corn"

and one of my favorites..."coyote ugly"  love the backstory behind that phrase.

Can of corn expression was born out of the old general store days. They kept the canned corn on the top shelf and the stock boy would knock it off and catch it in the hand basket. Can of corn catch. 

1voyager

Does a fish fart bubbles?

Does a bear ***t in the woods?

The solution to this problem should be intuitively obvious, even to the most casual observer.

***k you and your little white fluffy dog.

Good looks fade but dumb is forever.

Smart as a box of rocks.

Your breath is so bad it would back a buzzard off a ***t wagon.

Gulfcoastguy

Beauty is skin deep but ugly goes clear to the bone.

If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his butt when he hopped.

throwing it up a hog's ahole(wasting money)

You can't get on your feet until you get off your a$$.

Go get me a can of spotted paint.

stlcharcoal

1voyager said:

Does a fish fart bubbles?

Does a bear ***t in the woods?

Is a pig's a$$ pork???