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Food P0rn fail

Ozzie_Isaac
Ozzie_Isaac Posts: 18,942
I tried making that fancy Carbanera dish @Focker had the cool vid for.

Epic fail ... first time with homemade pasta.  Boiled for 2 min,  should have cooked less.  Pasta was hard, sauce was bland, threw it in the trash.  Looked like one of those menu vs. Reality pics.
A bison’s level of aggressiveness, both physical and passive, is legendary. - NPS
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Comments

  • We've all been there with one dish or another. 

    Hard to beat the texture and freshness of homemade pasta. I say you give it another go!
  • Mickey
    Mickey Posts: 19,669
    Yep
    Salado TX & 30A  FL: Egg Family: 3 Large and a very well used Mini, added a Mini Max when they came out (I'm good for now). Plus a couple Pit Boss Pellet Smokers.   

  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 30,867
    Good on you for giving this a shot.  It looks like it should be great.

    2 min is not a very long time to cook anything.  Anyone here cook homemade noodles like that on a regular basis?  I'd be curious to know how long they're actually supposed to cook.
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
  • bgebrent
    bgebrent Posts: 19,636
    2-3 minutes on fresh pasta.  Store bought or homemade.  Something was wrong with your pasta brother.  Never had it be hard.
    Sandy Springs & Dawsonville Ga
  • Focker
    Focker Posts: 8,364
    edited May 2017
    Fresh pasta cooks much faster.  Store bought takes longer.

    I'm with Brent Oz, had to have been a recipe failure.

    I use Marc Vetri's egg yolk dough recipe for pretty much all pasta types, solid recipe, found here.  00 and Semolina works, it is yolky....
    https://www.tastingtable.com/cook/recipes/homemade-pasta-tagliatelle-recipe-mushroom-pasta-sauce

    The egg and parm, or egg and pecorino, is far from bland.  Most Fock it up by fear of underccoking the eggs, scrambling them.
    Brandon
    Quad Cities
    "If yer gonna denigrate, familiarity with the subject is helpful."

  • Dredger
    Dredger Posts: 1,468
    Just an observation of the video, but the thickness of the pasta seemed to be much thicker than what I am used to doing. Also, I didn't notice the water boiling. It seemed more like he simmered it for lack of a better description. I could be wrong though.
    Large BGE
    Greenville, SC
  • SaintJohnsEgger
    SaintJohnsEgger Posts: 1,826
    I'm smart enough to not even try making my own pasta. Or maybe I'm just too chicken.

    I do know that when you fail you are supposed to get back on the horse and try try again. Or something like that....
    Marshall in Beautiful Fruit Cove, FL.
    MiniMax 04/17
    Unofficial BGE MiniMax Evangelist
    Facebook Big Green Egg MiniMax Owners Group


  • Kayak
    Kayak Posts: 700
    My first attempt at gnocchi left the kitchen a flour-coated warzone, with misshapen gnocchi everywhere that were all cooked to various inedible degrees. Took an hour to clean up after we got back from the restaurant. Nowadays I bang them out pretty quick, easy, and consistent. Flour's cheap!

    Bob

    New Cumberland, PA
    XL with the usual accessories

  • Focker
    Focker Posts: 8,364
    edited May 2017
    Dredger said:
    Just an observation of the video, but the thickness of the pasta seemed to be much thicker than what I am used to doing. Also, I didn't notice the water boiling. It seemed more like he simmered it for lack of a better description. I could be wrong though.
    The carbonara, lasagna bolognese, cordon bleu etc, are nontraditional, but beautiful raw rifs IMO.

    Carbonara, traditionally, is with spaghetti.

    I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.
    Brandon
    Quad Cities
    "If yer gonna denigrate, familiarity with the subject is helpful."

  • RedSkip
    RedSkip Posts: 1,400
    Nice
    Large BGE - McDonald, PA
  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 30,867
    Focker said:

    I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.
    Of course.  Although the sudden appearance of the cheese grater did seem a bit out of place in this regard.  
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 17,125
    bgebrent said:
    2-3 minutes on fresh pasta.  Store bought or homemade.  Something was wrong with your pasta brother.  Never had it be hard.
    @Ozzie_Isaac call Nichole. She's get you on the right path.  ;)
  • tarheelmatt
    tarheelmatt Posts: 9,867
    Were you cooking or smoking?  Asking for a friend.  
    ------------------------------
    Thomasville, NC
    My YouTube Channel - The Hungry Hussey
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  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 17,125
    By the way, it's not pôrn without the pics...
  • Focker
    Focker Posts: 8,364
    edited May 2017
    Focker said:

    I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.
    Of course.  Although the sudden appearance of the cheese grater did seem a bit out of place in this regard.  
    Have you ever walked the woods?  

    You must be the dude who'd strap a heavy crank on his back for miles. Lol

    One thing you quickly learn, every ounce matters.  I promise you, that grater has some miles on it.


    Brandon
    Quad Cities
    "If yer gonna denigrate, familiarity with the subject is helpful."

  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 30,867
    edited May 2017
    Focker said:
    Focker said:

    I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.
    Of course.  Although the sudden appearance of the cheese grater did seem a bit out of place in this regard.  
    Have you ever walked the woods?  

    You must be the dude who'd strap a heavy crank on his back for miles. Lol

    One thing you quickly learn, every ounce matters.  I promise you, that grater has some miles on it.


    Way to miss the point there champ.  I was agreeing with the premise of your statement, as indicated by the "of course".  

    I grew up in the white mountains of NH.  I'd hazard to guess I've spent as much time hiking through the woods as you or just about anyone else here on the forum.  
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
  • NPHuskerFL
    NPHuskerFL Posts: 17,629
    Focker said:
    Focker said:

    I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.
    Of course.  Although the sudden appearance of the cheese grater did seem a bit out of place in this regard.  
    Have you ever walked the woods?  

    You must be the dude who'd strap a heavy crank on his back for miles. Lol

    One thing you quickly learn, every ounce matters.  I promise you, that grater has some miles on it.


    Way to miss the point there champ.  I was agreeing with the premise of your statement, as indicated by the "of course".  

    I grew up in the white mountains of NH.  I'd hazard to guess I've spent as much time hiking through the woods as you or just about anyone else here on the forum.  




    LBGE 2013 & MM 2014
    Die Hard HUSKER & BRONCO FAN
    Flying Low & Slow in "Da Burg" FL
  • HeavyG
    HeavyG Posts: 10,323
    Focker said:

    I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.
    Of course.  Although the sudden appearance of the cheese grater did seem a bit out of place in this regard.  
    Yeah but if you're going to be packing in a big clay pot, a heavy steel pan, and a needlessly large knife then a cheeses grater is the least of your load.

    In reality tho this was probably filmed in the dudes backyard. :)
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” ― Philip K. Diçk




  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 30,867
    edited May 2017
    HeavyG said:
    Focker said:

    I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.
    Of course.  Although the sudden appearance of the cheese grater did seem a bit out of place in this regard.  
    Yeah but if you're going to be packing in a big clay pot, a heavy steel pan, and a needlessly large knife then a cheeses grater is the least of your load.

    In reality tho this was probably filmed in the dudes backyard. :)
    I've never seen anyone hiking through the woods with a cheese grater.  Might just be me though.

    It just mostly made me laugh when I saw it appear in the video.  The facade slipped there for a bit.
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
  • Ozzie_Isaac
    Ozzie_Isaac Posts: 18,942
    Thank you all for the encouragement.  I will give it another go, with pics regardless of outcome.

    No pics of the debacle.  Thought about a pic of it in the trash, but that seemed gratuitous.

    Btw, here is the recipe I used:

    http://www.seriouseats.com/2015/01/best-easy-all-purpose-fresh-pasta-dough-recipe-instructions.html
    A bison’s level of aggressiveness, both physical and passive, is legendary. - NPS
  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 30,867
    Thank you all for the encouragement.  I will give it another go, with pics regardless of outcome.

    No pics of the debacle.  Thought about a pic of it in the trash, but that seemed gratuitous.

    Btw, here is the recipe I used:

    http://www.seriouseats.com/2015/01/best-easy-all-purpose-fresh-pasta-dough-recipe-instructions.html
    Interesting there that the max cook time is listed as 2min, but he recommends between 1 minute and 90 seconds.  That's a pretty tight window.  
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
  • fishlessman
    fishlessman Posts: 32,665
    keg to the top of the mountain, yes, cheese grater, no.  some mountains have lakes on them, canoes been up too B)
    fukahwee maine

    you can lead a fish to water but you can not make him drink it
  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 30,867
    keg to the top of the mountain, yes, cheese grater, no.  some mountains have lakes on them, canoes been up too B)
    Sunapee has a little lake on top.  Have you been up there?  Cool spot.  I wouldn't want to lug a canoe up that trail though.  
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
  • northGAcock
    northGAcock Posts: 15,164
    bgebrent said:
    2-3 minutes on fresh pasta.  Store bought or homemade.  Something was wrong with your pasta brother.  Never had it be hard.
    The unknown is what type of flower he was using vs Ozz....Thinking this could have a significant impact. Just a hypothesis. 
    Ellijay GA with a Medium & MiniMax

    Well, I married me a wife, she's been trouble all my life,
    Run me out in the cold rain and snow
  • Focker
    Focker Posts: 8,364
    edited May 2017
    HeavyG said:
    Focker said:

    I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.
    Of course.  Although the sudden appearance of the cheese grater did seem a bit out of place in this regard.  
    Yeah but if you're going to be packing in a big clay pot, a heavy steel pan, and a needlessly large knife then a cheeses grater is the least of your load.

    In reality tho this was probably filmed in the dudes backyard. :)
    Backyard, sure looks, and sounds, like it. Lmfao

    That thin carbon steel is sooo heavy. 
    C'mon man!!!

    Keep in mind chief, there are two of them.
    Brandon
    Quad Cities
    "If yer gonna denigrate, familiarity with the subject is helpful."

  • Focker
    Focker Posts: 8,364
    edited May 2017
    bgebrent said:
    2-3 minutes on fresh pasta.  Store bought or homemade.  Something was wrong with your pasta brother.  Never had it be hard.
    The unknown is what type of flower he was using vs Ozz....Thinking this could have a significant impact. Just a hypothesis. 
    Yes, Marc talks about this in his book, Mastering Pasta, breaking it all the way down to 00, and using a combo of Semolina with it.
    Brandon
    Quad Cities
    "If yer gonna denigrate, familiarity with the subject is helpful."

  • blasting
    blasting Posts: 6,262
    I'm smart enough to not even try making my own pasta. Or maybe I'm just too chicken.


    @SaintJohnsEgger  I don't think you would have a problem with it.

    I'm a novice, but I'd encourage everyone to make their own pasta.  There is no comparison between handmade pasta and boxed pasta.  It doesn't add a ton of time either.
    Phoenix 
  • fishlessman
    fishlessman Posts: 32,665
    theres two ponds on the sawyer trail off the kancamagus,

    Mt Tremont and Owls Cliff tower above Big Sawyer Pond

    providence north of north conway, this ones easy

    View of Province Pond from the Lean-to


    fukahwee maine

    you can lead a fish to water but you can not make him drink it
  • fishlessman
    fishlessman Posts: 32,665
    JohnInCarolina

    this ones trout pond, not on a mountain but the old lead mine trail is really torn up getting too it. probably easier now, lots of pissed off fishermen screaming at the state to keep it secluded, was almost turned to condos years back. this is a beautiful pond to fish. i camp on the far point, almost lost that point years ago from an exploding citronella candle, keep those away from the water


    Image result for trout pond nh stacy
    fukahwee maine

    you can lead a fish to water but you can not make him drink it