Food P0rn fail

Ozzie_Isaac

I tried making that fancy Carbanera dish @Focker had the cool vid for.

Epic fail ... first time with homemade pasta.  Boiled for 2 min,  should have cooked less.  Pasta was hard, sauce was bland, threw it in the trash.  Looked like one of those menu vs. Reality pics.

GrateEggspectations

We've all been there with one dish or another. 

Hard to beat the texture and freshness of homemade pasta. I say you give it another go!

Mickey

Yep

JohnInCarolina

Good on you for giving this a shot.  It looks like it should be great.

2 min is not a very long time to cook anything.  Anyone here cook homemade noodles like that on a regular basis?  I'd be curious to know how long they're actually supposed to cook.

bgebrent

2-3 minutes on fresh pasta.  Store bought or homemade.  Something was wrong with your pasta brother.  Never had it be hard.

Focker

Fresh pasta cooks much faster.  Store bought takes longer.

I'm with Brent Oz, had to have been a recipe failure.

I use Marc Vetri's egg yolk dough recipe for pretty much all pasta types, solid recipe, found here.  00 and Semolina works, it is yolky....
https://www.tastingtable.com/cook/recipes/homemade-pasta-tagliatelle-recipe-mushroom-pasta-sauce

The egg and parm, or egg and pecorino, is far from bland.  Most Fock it up by fear of underccoking the eggs, scrambling them.

Dredger

Just an observation of the video, but the thickness of the pasta seemed to be much thicker than what I am used to doing. Also, I didn't notice the water boiling. It seemed more like he simmered it for lack of a better description. I could be wrong though.

SaintJohnsEgger

I'm smart enough to not even try making my own pasta. Or maybe I'm just too chicken.

I do know that when you fail you are supposed to get back on the horse and try try again. Or something like that....

Kayak

My first attempt at gnocchi left the kitchen a flour-coated warzone, with misshapen gnocchi everywhere that were all cooked to various inedible degrees. Took an hour to clean up after we got back from the restaurant. Nowadays I bang them out pretty quick, easy, and consistent. Flour's cheap!

Focker

Dredger said:

Just an observation of the video, but the thickness of the pasta seemed to be much thicker than what I am used to doing. Also, I didn't notice the water boiling. It seemed more like he simmered it for lack of a better description. I could be wrong though.

The carbonara, lasagna bolognese, cordon bleu etc, are nontraditional, but beautiful raw rifs IMO.

Carbonara, traditionally, is with spaghetti.

I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.

RedSkip

Nice

JohnInCarolina

Focker said:

I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.

Of course.  Although the sudden appearance of the cheese grater did seem a bit out of place in this regard.  

DoubleEgger

bgebrent said:

2-3 minutes on fresh pasta.  Store bought or homemade.  Something was wrong with your pasta brother.  Never had it be hard.

@Ozzie_Isaac call Nichole. She's get you on the right path. 

tarheelmatt

Were you cooking or smoking?  Asking for a friend.  

DoubleEgger

By the way, it's not pôrn without the pics...

Focker

JohnInCarolina said:

Focker said:

I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.

Of course.  Although the sudden appearance of the cheese grater did seem a bit out of place in this regard.  

Have you ever walked the woods?  

You must be the dude who'd strap a heavy crank on his back for miles. Lol

One thing you quickly learn, every ounce matters.  I promise you, that grater has some miles on it.

JohnInCarolina

Focker said:

JohnInCarolina said:

Focker said:

I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.

Of course.  Although the sudden appearance of the cheese grater did seem a bit out of place in this regard.  

Have you ever walked the woods?  

You must be the dude who'd strap a heavy crank on his back for miles. Lol

One thing you quickly learn, every ounce matters.  I promise you, that grater has some miles on it.

Way to miss the point there champ.  I was agreeing with the premise of your statement, as indicated by the "of course".  

I grew up in the white mountains of NH.  I'd hazard to guess I've spent as much time hiking through the woods as you or just about anyone else here on the forum.  

Legume

NPHuskerFL

JohnInCarolina said:

Focker said:

JohnInCarolina said:

Focker said:

I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.

Of course.  Although the sudden appearance of the cheese grater did seem a bit out of place in this regard.  

Have you ever walked the woods?  

You must be the dude who'd strap a heavy crank on his back for miles. Lol

One thing you quickly learn, every ounce matters.  I promise you, that grater has some miles on it.

Way to miss the point there champ.  I was agreeing with the premise of your statement, as indicated by the "of course".  

I grew up in the white mountains of NH.  I'd hazard to guess I've spent as much time hiking through the woods as you or just about anyone else here on the forum.  

HeavyG

JohnInCarolina said:

Focker said:

I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.

Of course.  Although the sudden appearance of the cheese grater did seem a bit out of place in this regard.  

Yeah but if you're going to be packing in a big clay pot, a heavy steel pan, and a needlessly large knife then a cheeses grater is the least of your load.

In reality tho this was probably filmed in the dudes backyard.

JohnInCarolina

HeavyG said:

JohnInCarolina said:

Focker said:

I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.

Of course.  Although the sudden appearance of the cheese grater did seem a bit out of place in this regard.  

Yeah but if you're going to be packing in a big clay pot, a heavy steel pan, and a needlessly large knife then a cheeses grater is the least of your load.

In reality tho this was probably filmed in the dudes backyard.

I've never seen anyone hiking through the woods with a cheese grater.  Might just be me though.

It just mostly made me laugh when I saw it appear in the video.  The facade slipped there for a bit.

Ozzie_Isaac

Thank you all for the encouragement.  I will give it another go, with pics regardless of outcome.

No pics of the debacle.  Thought about a pic of it in the trash, but that seemed gratuitous.

Btw, here is the recipe I used:

http://www.seriouseats.com/2015/01/best-easy-all-purpose-fresh-pasta-dough-recipe-instructions.html

JohnInCarolina

Ozzie_Isaac said:

Thank you all for the encouragement.  I will give it another go, with pics regardless of outcome.

No pics of the debacle.  Thought about a pic of it in the trash, but that seemed gratuitous.

Btw, here is the recipe I used:

http://www.seriouseats.com/2015/01/best-easy-all-purpose-fresh-pasta-dough-recipe-instructions.html

Interesting there that the max cook time is listed as 2min, but he recommends between 1 minute and 90 seconds.  That's a pretty tight window.  

fishlessman

keg to the top of the mountain, yes, cheese grater, no.  some mountains have lakes on them, canoes been up too

JohnInCarolina

fishlessman said:

keg to the top of the mountain, yes, cheese grater, no.  some mountains have lakes on them, canoes been up too

Sunapee has a little lake on top.  Have you been up there?  Cool spot.  I wouldn't want to lug a canoe up that trail though.  

northGAcock

bgebrent said:

2-3 minutes on fresh pasta.  Store bought or homemade.  Something was wrong with your pasta brother.  Never had it be hard.

The unknown is what type of flower he was using vs Ozz....Thinking this could have a significant impact. Just a hypothesis. 

Focker

HeavyG said:

JohnInCarolina said:

Focker said:

I don't see them lugging a hand roller, or the sounds of a mixer and attachments, or an extra person to hand crank(2 to make pasta, one to shoot), into the forest....would kind of take away from the raw beauty of their rustic style, and natural message.

Of course.  Although the sudden appearance of the cheese grater did seem a bit out of place in this regard.  

Yeah but if you're going to be packing in a big clay pot, a heavy steel pan, and a needlessly large knife then a cheeses grater is the least of your load.

In reality tho this was probably filmed in the dudes backyard.

Backyard, sure looks, and sounds, like it. Lmfao

That thin carbon steel is sooo heavy. 
C'mon man!!!

Keep in mind chief, there are two of them.

Focker

northGAcock said:

bgebrent said:

2-3 minutes on fresh pasta.  Store bought or homemade.  Something was wrong with your pasta brother.  Never had it be hard.

The unknown is what type of flower he was using vs Ozz....Thinking this could have a significant impact. Just a hypothesis. 

Yes, Marc talks about this in his book, Mastering Pasta, breaking it all the way down to 00, and using a combo of Semolina with it.

blasting

SaintJohnsEgger said:

I'm smart enough to not even try making my own pasta. Or maybe I'm just too chicken.

@SaintJohnsEgger  I don't think you would have a problem with it.

I'm a novice, but I'd encourage everyone to make their own pasta.  There is no comparison between handmade pasta and boxed pasta.  It doesn't add a ton of time either.

fishlessman

theres two ponds on the sawyer trail off the kancamagus,



providence north of north conway, this ones easy

fishlessman

JohnInCarolina

this ones trout pond, not on a mountain but the old lead mine trail is really torn up getting too it. probably easier now, lots of pissed off fishermen screaming at the state to keep it secluded, was almost turned to condos years back. this is a beautiful pond to fish. i camp on the far point, almost lost that point years ago from an exploding citronella candle, keep those away from the water