Placeholder for internet things that are funny or cool

Legume

I've seen that guy online - he seems to go places with a bodyguard and then does things to piss people off that are much bigger than him and when they get mad and go after him, he hides behind the bodyguard and laughs.

If ever there was someone that needed to be punched in the face, it's this guy.

Botch

https://www.bbc.com/news/videos/ckg01913nxqo
 
Wow.  

lousubcap

JohnInCarolina

lousubcap said:

As an engineer, and a Dad, I appreciate the humor here!

DoubleEgger

Pretty awesome 

Botch

Kudos to the workers and engineers of SpaceX for this amazing feat.
 
https://youtu.be/nVNIoQUcFI4?si=vYXj0BYxWTO7VtOE

Botch

Think I've posted about this Aussie master woodworker/artist here before; he's outdone himself here.  This is Michelangelo-level stuff, folks.
 
https://youtu.be/z9lUWB59gHo?si=5TSb0H958mP_US4k

dbCooper

Test fuses using your smart phone.  Why am I just now learning this?

https://9gag.com/gag/a4PRdxw?utm_source=Google_Messaging&utm_medium=post_share

Canugghead

dbCooper said:

Test fuses using your smart phone.  Why am I just now learning this?

https://9gag.com/gag/a4PRdxw?utm_source=Google_Messaging&utm_medium=post_share

What gives 🤔

JohnInCarolina

dbCooper

JohnInCarolina

dbCooper said:

No lies detected!

Botch

Steve Martin's "The Great Flynini".  I've never seen this before.  
 
https://youtu.be/s9xKU8eYCFk?si=KR42kckoy0bL3-ZJ

lousubcap

The Voyageurs Wolf Project’s remote cameras capture wolf behavior we wouldn’t be able to see otherwise. For instance, when one little wolf pup came out of its den and decided to practice howling, the sound that came out instead would’ve been lost amongst the trees. Instead, thanks to the trail cam, it’s on YouTube for all wildlife lovers to enjoy.

https://outdoors.com/sound-on-wolf-pup-tries-to-howl-this-sound-comes-out-instead/

JohnInCarolina

That escalated quickly!

lousubcap

.

lousubcap

Below is a promotion from MLB and Budweiser...
Billed as "Beer for a Year?"

Below is the disclaimer.  That prize works out to around $5/week with two weeks off.  You've got be be kidding me!!!

*Alcohol not part of the prize. Prize is awarded in the form

of $250 which is equal to the value of a year's worth of beer.

NPN. 21+. Ends 11/6/24. See Rules at mib.com/bracket

Legume

lousubcap said:

Below is a promotion from MLB and Budweiser...
Billed as "Beer for a Year?"

Below is the disclaimer.  That prize works out to around $5/week with two weeks off.  You've got be be kidding me!!!

*Alcohol not part of the prize. Prize is awarded in the form

of $250 which is equal to the value of a year's worth of beer.

NPN. 21+. Ends 11/6/24. See Rules at mib.com/bracket

Hahaha - definitely not any beer from a ballpark.

fishlessman

I cook with more than that just making chili......

Foghorn

Legume said:

lousubcap said:

Below is a promotion from MLB and Budweiser...
Billed as "Beer for a Year?"

Below is the disclaimer.  That prize works out to around $5/week with two weeks off.  You've got be be kidding me!!!

*Alcohol not part of the prize. Prize is awarded in the form

of $250 which is equal to the value of a year's worth of beer.

NPN. 21+. Ends 11/6/24. See Rules at mib.com/bracket

Hahaha - definitely not any beer from a ballpark.

Yeah.  At the ballpark, that's like "Beer for a Night"

JohnInCarolina

Saw this and thought of you, @CPFC1905

CPFC1905

JohnInCarolina said:

Saw this and thought of you, @CPFC1905

Yep.  In fact we invented the class system as a short cut. 

Botch

It's been awhile since I've seen a collection this prime; Enjoy!  
 

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

_____________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school

reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his

drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking

right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he

hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,

making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing

scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into

the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again

I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the

grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

_____________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the

boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential

downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather

would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;

now with a different anticipation,

and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply

for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me

for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets

and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that

I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped

your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you

to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........

________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'

So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

________________________________

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot

as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.
 
 

An old fisherman is walking on a beach carrying a few fish in a bucket. A game warden walks up and asks to see his fishing license.

“I don’t have a fishing license,” says the man.

“You know it’s illegal to fish without a license, right?” asks the warden. 

“I wasn’t fishing, officer. These fish are my pets.”

“Your pets?”

“Yes, officer. They like a little exercise, so when the weather’s fine, I take them to the water and let them swim around. Once they’re done, I give them a whistle and they jump back into my bucket and we head home.”

The officer isn’t buying a word of it, so the old man says, “Don’t believe me? Just watch!” and he throws the fish into the sea.

The warden waits for a minute then says, “Alright, now whistle to your fish and make them jump out of the water.”

The fisherman turns to the officer and says, 

“What fish?”

lousubcap

@Botch - those are some great jokes.  

JohnInCarolina

Your buddy Marques in some controversy here, @Botch !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK1QCEYWDDw

Botch

Shoot, I actually had Jakob and Yuri spinning out into a ditch on my bingo card...
 
(and Duck-man is rather exhausting to listen to...)  

Legume

https://theonion.com/kenji-lopez-alt-returns-from-beef-dimension-with-new-sear-method-beyond-human-comprehension/

lousubcap

Three granddaughters ages 1,3 and 5 yo.  Got this pic in a text-

And the caption, "When little people decorate your tree."
Happy Friday-

JohnInCarolina

DoubleEgger

lousubcap said:

Three granddaughters ages 1,3 and 5 yo.  Got this pic in a text-

And the caption, "When little people decorate your tree."
Happy Friday-

That reminds me of a six-packer trying to figure out why half of the lights don’t work.