OT - Are your feelings hurt? - OT

SGH

For all of you that has hurt feelings, let Doctor Scott soothe your feelings with a comforting song. 

In my deep, raspy, baritone voice:

I just tried to take a $hit.......
I strained so hard that my Sphincter split.....
I pushed real hard with all my might....
A turd flew out that was an incredible sight......
I groaned and screamed in intense pain.....
What fell from my anus was just insane....
Now here I sit my a$$ a gaping......
I feel another turd in the making......
With all my strength I give a mighty shove...
Here comes a shower of turds and some anus love.......

                      CHORUS
Its my anus, my anus on a Sunday morning........

Foghorn

I feel much better now. 

theyolksonyou

I gotta go drop a duece

SGH

Foghorn said:

I feel much better now. 

I had no doubt that a soothing song would help. That's why I sang it. To help folks. 

Foghorn

SGH said:

Foghorn said:

I feel much better now. 

I had no doubt that a soothing song would help. That's why I sang it. To help folks. 

Your martyrdom seems to know no bounds. Bless you. 

SGH

If anyone would like to hear it, there are 2 more verses to the above song. However they are somewhat graphic. 

DMW

SGH said:

Foghorn said:

I feel much better now. 

I had no doubt that a soothing song would help. That's why I sang it. To help folks. 

You gotta record that on video, upload it to Youtube, and post it here. We need to hear the soothing voice.

Foghorn

As we've established, you can't hurt my feelings. Even with a song about foreign bodies and funny X-rays. I just want to see how you rhyme with "prolapse".  

Foghorn

Or procidentia.

theyolksonyou

Foghorn said:

Or procidentia.

Now you're just showing off

northGAcock

Foghorn said:

I'm sitting in ORD waiting for a flight.  I just found out that it's going to be 30 minutes late and I have to move to another gate.  I'm taking it personally and thinking that God must hate me.

The air gods are not shining down on you. Been there too many times. Bitness Travel sucks....if you ask me. Good luck getting home.

Foghorn

theyolksonyou said:

Foghorn said:

Or procidentia.

Now you're just showing off

Or traumatic cloaca. 

I can do this all night.  Or at least until I have to go to airplane mode. 

theyolksonyou

Foghorn said:

theyolksonyou said:

Foghorn said:

Or procidentia.

Now you're just showing off

Or traumatic cloaca. 

I can do this all night.  Or at least until I have to go to airplane mode. 

Cause you're a dookie

DMW

Foghorn said:

theyolksonyou said:

Foghorn said:

Or procidentia.

Now you're just showing off

Or traumatic cloaca. 

I can do this all night.  Or at least until I have to go to airplane mode. 

But then you have ridiculously expensive crappy WiFi. Hang in there..

Foghorn

theyolksonyou said:

Foghorn said:

theyolksonyou said:

Foghorn said:

Or procidentia.

Now you're just showing off

Or traumatic cloaca. 

I can do this all night.  Or at least until I have to go to airplane mode. 

Cause you're a dookie

I have to admit, that spelling seems a$$propos right about now on this thread. 

thetrim

Buffalo must be off dookie oops I mean duty tonight.  

SGH

thetrim said:

Buffalo must be off dookie oops I mean duty tonight.  

I have a Buffalo song too. But thus far, no one has requested to hear it. I get the same requests over and over for Yeti Land and Anus on a Sunday morning. 

Foghorn

Hopefully folks know to stay away from you on Sunday morning...

Foghorn

And we pushed away from the gate 2 hours ago. Apparently, we used so much gas sitting and waiting our turn to take off that we now don't have enough fuel to make the flight. So, we're returning to the gate to refuel ...

If I had a feeling, it would be hurt. 

nolaegghead

Dan, you need to buy and fly a plane.  No need to slum it with the proletariat. 

Foghorn

nolaegghead said:

Dan, you need to buy and fly a plane.  No need to slum it with the proletariat. 

Yeah. As a gubment employee that's not much of an option. 

And bad weather situations when an amateur pilot is relying on the small plane for transportation - that's when planes crash. 

nolaegghead

Foghorn said:

nolaegghead said:

Dan, you need to buy and fly a plane.  No need to slum it with the proletariat. 

Yeah. As a gubment employee that's not much of an option. 

And bad weather situations when an amateur pilot is relying on the small plane for transportation - that's when planes crash. 

You're a gubment employee?  I did not know that.  F the plane, get some food stamps!

Foghorn

State gubment.

thetrim

Once you fly private, you'll never again fly commercial!

GATraveller

I got a rash. 

B747crew

I just finished a 9 day bout with diverticulosis and one day in the hospital because of it..... BUTT HURT !   you have no idea!  LOL

Hans61

GATraveller said:

I got a rash. 

DoubleEgger

GATraveller

Hans61 said:

GATraveller said:

I got a rash. 

Makes me happy when someone catches my references. 

Foghorn

And because we returned to the gate it became a new flight.  Which the crew couldn't do because the "timed out".  So they unloaded us and gave us a hotel "discount coupon" for Travelliance (a booking agent) with a number to call to get a "discounted" hotel room.  They gave us a second piece of paper with a number to call to rebook for the following day (now today).  I called the airline first and was asked if getting in the following day at 8 PM is "OK".  Seriously?  Because they didn't put enough gas in the plane to taxi?  So, I bullied them into giving me a $150 travel voucher for my trouble.  

Then I called for the "discounted" hotel room.  I got a room at the Fairfield Inn for "only" $129 plus fees.  I got to a cab and told the driver to take me to the Fairfield.  He didn't know which Fairfield so we called them to get the address.  He got put on hold but before he did he learned which suburb it was in.  I looked it up on hotels.com.  I could have booked through them for $98 plus fees.  So, Travelliance is a company that is set up with a relationship with the airlines to specifically exploit stranded travelers.  But when I booked with them they told me it was nonrefundable when they made the booking so I was stuck.

When I left the hotel this morning I went to the desk to get a receipt and it was for $98 plus fees.   I had to call Travelliance to get them to email me a receipt for what I actually paid.

I get - and really appreciate - the airline industry rules about safety.  I have no problem that we were delayed due to bad weather creating a safety issue.  But "we didn't put enough gas in the plane and we're going to give you a "coupon" for a discounted hotel room that in fact exploits the passengers we chose to strand" isn't about safety.  It's about conscious (as soon as the doors were closed we were told by the captain that we would be taxiing for a very long time due to a backlog of planes needing to take off, so the need for more fuel wasn't a surprise) poor decisions and exploitation of the customers you screwed with the poor decisions.

Even with that I recognize that a lot of people have life a lot worse than I do.  The fact that I can vent about this to the good people here is one piece of that puzzle.  Thank you.