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OT: Part Time Job of the Year

Killit_and_GrillitKillit_and_Grillit Posts: 4,079
edited June 2017 in Off Topic
I don't think this has been posted, but in case it hasn't...you're welcome. 

https://spokane.craigslist.org/vol/6144667018.html

"Brought to you by bourbon, bacon, and a series of questionable life decisions."

South of Nashville, TN

Comments

  • lkapigianlkapigian Posts: 4,297
    Destined for " Best If Craigslist"
    Visalia, Ca
  • lkapigianlkapigian Posts: 4,297
    As is my nature since I often lay awake with a restless mind, here is my good natured response. 

    Good evening, 

    I am responding to your Craigslist ad for a Father Figure for a BBQ. 

    First, let me introduce myself. My name is ****.  I am little younger than your ad requested. However, I assure you I am an old soul. I own 5 grills, my own company, a family of 3 and a half, proudly cut my own grass, and often swear at the neighbor kids and local pets in my neighborhood. 

    As far as backyard stories are concerned, I fought in a war, was hit by a car (my high school sweetheart was driving), won and lost $7 grand on a few hands of cards one night, and accidentally started a second family with a quasi celebrity via email. I also own a flame thrower and a boat. 

    I will appear older to your WA crowd as I am from the south and we know how to BBQ. I am tall, husky, have a southern drawl, and have an overbearing 'dad' voice when needed. I found a gray chest hair the other day...just left it. 

    Disclaimers: I refuse to grill on gas. Charcoal only. And no, Kingsford is not "charcoal". You clearly don't have a dad so you don't know better. You're gonna learn today. Also I don't drink beer...only bourbon. With ice. Also nobody is impressed with your tube top wearing "basic b!tch" of a girlfriend so don't bother bringing her. You'll embarrass your mother. And what is an "Art History" major? We get it! You like p****.  You'll never get a job with that degree. Also nobody is calling you "Champ" or "Sport". This is what is wrong with this country. You want a nickname? Earn it. 

    Look, enjoy your night. I popped a Viagra about 20 minutes ago so I'm gonna head upstairs and hit the sack with mamma bear. You sh!t heads try not to burn the place down tonight. 

    And for the love of God I better not find cigarette butts or rubbers in my hot tub filter!

    Leftovers are in the fridge. 

    Sincerely,
    Killit_and_Grillit
    A great response to a great Ad
    Visalia, Ca
  • tarheelmatttarheelmatt Posts: 9,698
    ------------------------------
    Thomasville, NC
    My YouTube Channel
    Instagram
    Facebook
    My Photography Site
  • JohnInCarolinaJohnInCarolina Posts: 13,083
    I'm your huckleberry.
    "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." - Einstein

    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike


  • northGAcocknorthGAcock Posts: 11,526
    Columbia, South Carolina with a Medium, MiniMax & a 17" Blackstone

    “Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.”
  • PirateBillPirateBill Posts: 259
    That response to the add is amazing.

    Fight like a man so you don't die like a dog

    - Calico Jack Rackham

    1,000 watt Sharp - 1.1 Cu. Ft. Mid-Size Microwave and one sweet steakager (retail 229$) 

    Scruffy City a.k.a. Knoxville, TN.

  • thanks @tarheelmatt  I don't know how I missed these shenanigans.  

    Either the cold medicine got to me or I had the Political Spam filter set to "high" and @JohnInCarolina 's post just accidentally got stuck in there somehow  ;)  Ahh, I jest. 

    Carry on. There is a squirrel in my bird feeder that needs attending to.

    "Brought to you by bourbon, bacon, and a series of questionable life decisions."

    South of Nashville, TN

  • tarheelmatttarheelmatt Posts: 9,698
    thanks @tarheelmatt  I don't know how I missed these shenanigans.  

    Either the cold medicine got to me or I had the Political Spam filter set to "high" and @JohnInCarolina 's post just accidentally got stuck in there somehow  ;)  Ahh, I jest. 

    Carry on. There is a squirrel in my bird feeder that needs attending to.
    Or your "Anti American" filter.  Cause John hates the US, and stuff.  
    ------------------------------
    Thomasville, NC
    My YouTube Channel
    Instagram
    Facebook
    My Photography Site
  • AcnAcn Posts: 2,746
    If they're paying in beer I'd have to verify that the beer available won't suck.

    LBGE

    Pikesville, MD

  • DoubleEggerDoubleEgger Posts: 13,813
    Acn said:
    If they're paying in beer I'd have to verify that the beer available won't suck.
    All the Keystone Light you can drink. 
  • saluki2007saluki2007 Posts: 3,899
    Acn said:
    If they're paying in beer I'd have to verify that the beer available won't suck.
    False.  Free beer can't suck.
    Large and Small BGE
    Morton, IL

  • GATravellerGATraveller Posts: 6,319
    I was expecting to see this:



    "Social media gives legions of idiots the right to speak when they once only spoke at a bar after a glass of wine, without harming the community [...] but now they have the same right to speak as a Nobel Prize winner. It's the invasion of the idiots."

                                                                                  -Umberto Eco

    2 Large
    Peachtree Corners, GA
  • thetrimthetrim Posts: 7,018
    Can't wait for the reply.   Turn off your snowflake filter, and you'll start seeing @JohnInCarolina posts again.   Remember, don't have a typo.  It makes him mad, and he'll call you stupid.   
    =======================================
    XL 6/06, Mini 6/12, L 10/12, Mini #2 12/14 MiniMax 3/16
    Tampa Bay, FL
    EIB 6 Oct 95
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