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Cancer....

dougcrann
dougcrann Posts: 1,129
in Off Topic
Found out earlier today that a buddy in AZ will be being moved into Hospice by the end of the week. Joe has Spindle Cell Sarcoma...Docs are saying 2-4 months. 
Cancer...an absolute evil ****. Just about 5 years ago the love of my life was diagnosed breast cancer. Was caught in its earliest stage...something along the lines of an artifical cell growth. Biopsy...lumpectomy and all was well. Ernestina was put on Tamoxifen...her 5 year cycle will be ending in June or so. 
Sadly in Joes case it was not detected while it was Stage 1. Joe is one of those guys that kept his nose to the grindstone, working 70 or so hours a week so that he could spoil his only grandkid. His wife just went thru a nightmare with her heart. They were both talking about retirement.  Debating on whether I should make the trip to Phoenix from Spokane to visit him. Sandra, his wife,  is a wreck...
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Comments

  • rossv1
    rossv1 Posts: 114
    dougcrann said:
    Found out earlier today that a buddy in AZ will be being moved into Hospice by the end of the week. Joe has Spindle Cell Sarcoma...Docs are saying 2-4 months. 
    .....
    They were both talking about retirement.  Debating on whether I should make the trip to Phoenix from Spokane to visit him. Sandra, his wife,  is a wreck...
    Make the trip sooner than later. One day you won't be able to.

    Lost my dad to cancer in 04 and wouldn't wish it on anyone. Praying for your friend.
    22 in Macon, GA - Large BGE 2015
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  • Fred19Flintstone
    Fred19Flintstone Posts: 8,173
    edited February 2016
    I lost the first Mrs Flintstone to ovarian cancer.  All cancer is evil sh!t.

    Prayers to your friend and his wife.
    Flint, Michigan
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  • jonnymack
    jonnymack Posts: 627
    That sucks, very sorry to hear. Definitely make the time for the trip. My grandmother who was like a second mother to me got throat cancer, beat it and then had it come back. I got to spend a week with her just helping her get used to her new routine and I'm grateful for the time. Don't wait.
    Firing up the BGE in Covington, GA

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  • Sea2Ski
    Sea2Ski Posts: 4,088
    I agree. No time is a "good" time for an unscheduled trip for a reason like this, but go. Call it an inconvenience, pain, do not want to eat up vacation days, etc.... But as others have said - one day when it is a "good" time, it will be too late. That is the $h1tty reality of the situation.

    Take the time now to go. Nothing is more important than family and true friends. Just think of the happiness you will bring to Joe and Sandra. You may want or wish to do more, but right now, you presence may be most valuable.

    Godspeed to you, Joe and Sandra, and all others involved. 
    --------------------------------------------------
    Burning lump in Downingtown, PA or diesel in Cape May, NJ.
    ....just look for the smoke!
    Large and MiniMax
    --------------------------------------------------

    Caliking said:   Meat in bung is my favorite. 
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  • Darby_Crenshaw
    Darby_Crenshaw Posts: 2,657
    Go see your buddy. 
    [social media disclaimer: irony and sarcasm may be used in some or all of user's posts; emoticon usage is intended to indicate moderately jocular social interaction; the comments toward users, their usernames, and the real people (living or dead) that they refer to are not intended to be adversarial in nature; those replying to this user are entering into a tacit agreement that they are real-life or social-media acquaintances and/or have agreed to or tacitly agreed to perpetrate occasional good-natured ribbing between and among themselves and others]

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  • evie1370
    evie1370 Posts: 506
    I am a survivor myself. I echo what everyone else said, if at all possible do it. You may easily regret it if you do not. If you can't, then call...regularly if possible. But nothing beats a face to face visit. And I am sure both his wife and he will appreciate it greatly.

    Medium BGE in Cincinnati OH.

    "

    "I don't know what effect these men will have upon the enemy, but, by God, they frighten me. " Duke of Wellington, Battle of Waterloo.
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  • rmr62
    rmr62 Posts: 233
    Spindle cell is a much rarer form than most.  Probably not as many treatment options either.  Sorry to hear that
    Lagrange, GA   LBGE
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  • epcotisbest
    epcotisbest Posts: 2,176
    My dad died of colon cancer in 2007. His last living brother died of the same thing this past November. There were four brothers on his side and now all are gone. Uncle was 81 and his cancer was detected in late November and he died in January. Don't debate about the trip long. If you can afford to go, then go. If you can't, there is comfort in knowing you would have if you could.
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  • northGAcock
    northGAcock Posts: 15,171
    I think you and your friend would / should spend your time together while he or she is in the best possible health. What I mean by that, is if quality of life is on the down hill slop, sooner would be better than later. Enjoy your time together at the best possible point in life that you can. 
    Ellijay GA with a Medium & MiniMax

    Well, I married me a wife, she's been trouble all my life,
    Run me out in the cold rain and snow
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  • RRP
    RRP Posts: 26,023
    Please get going SOON!
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  • johnkitchens
    johnkitchens Posts: 5,227
    Go visit him. He needs you now. 

    Louisville, GA - 2 Large BGE's
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  • lousubcap
    lousubcap Posts: 33,879
    As you note, cancer sucks and that is being kind.  Go while you can for all the reasons above.  You know the right answer...Godspeed to Joe, his family and yours.
    Louisville; Rolling smoke in the neighbourhood. # 38 for the win.  Life is too short for light/lite beer!  Seems I'm livin in a transitional period.
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  • epcotisbest
    epcotisbest Posts: 2,176
    dougcrann said:
    Will be leaving on Monday...hopefully. Truck needs some quick maintenance and then will be shoving off...

    Good decision. One I am sure you won't regret.
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  • EagleIII
    EagleIII Posts: 418

    Glad to hear you are going.  NOTHING in the world is more important than your friends and family.  He will be glad to see you as will his wife and she needs your support just as much...if not more.  Godspeed to you on your journey...

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  • Fred19Flintstone
    Fred19Flintstone Posts: 8,173
    dougcrann said:
    Will be leaving on Monday...hopefully. Truck needs some quick maintenance and then will be shoving off...
    Attaboy!
    Flint, Michigan
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  • Mosca
    Mosca Posts: 456
    Definitely do it. We take nothing out of this world but the love we have within it. Share.
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  • Legume
    Legume Posts: 15,179
    Glad you're going.  Lost a friend several years ago that I meant to visit but didn't make it happen.  Regret sucks.


    Love you bro!
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  • Ozzie_Isaac
    Ozzie_Isaac Posts: 20,511
    edited February 2016
    Glad you are going to see your friend.  I have found words don't matter in situations like this.  The only thing that matters is being there.

    Life is full of inoppurtune timing, but you only get one crack at it.

    Maybe your purpose in life is only to serve as an example for others? - LPL


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  • Ladeback69
    Ladeback69 Posts: 4,483
    Fred19Flintstone said:
    I lost the first Mrs Flintstone to ovarian cancer.  All cancer is evil sh!t.

    Prayers to your friend and his wife.
    I agree Fred, all cancer is evil sh!t.  I have lost my dad to it in 73, my mom is breast cancer survivor, have lost many friends to it and have friends fighting it now.  As I say, I wish Cancer would get cancer and go away.  This thing touches all of us somehow someway.

    @dougcrann, if you can get away to see him I would, it would make his and his wife's day.   Sorry for your bad news.
    XL, WSM, Coleman Road Trip Gas Grill

    Kansas City, Mo.
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  • shtgunal3
    shtgunal3 Posts: 5,854
    The best friend I ever had was in the hospital about an hour away. I was supposed to go see him on a Friday night. I decided to put off going until Monday after work. He passed away That Monday morning and I obviously never got see him alive again. That was almost 20 years ago and I've never had another friend like him. Not going to see my buddy on that Friday night is one of the biggest regrets of my life.

    Don't make the same mistake I did. Go see your friend now.


    ___________________________________

     

     LBGE,SBGE, and a Mini makes three......Sweet home Alabama........ Stay thirsty my friends .

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  • eggo
    eggo Posts: 492
    Good friends are hard to come by. You will be glad you went. Your time will be appreciated. Time is our most valuable asset.
    Eggo in N. MS
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  • Dredger
    Dredger Posts: 1,468
    Very sorry about your friend and glad you are going to see him now instead of later. Many good points made here about the urgency of now in situations like this.
    Large BGE
    Greenville, SC
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  • dougcrann
    dougcrann Posts: 1,129
    Dredger said:
    Very sorry about your friend and glad you are going to see him now instead of later. Many good points made here about the urgency of now in situations like this.
    Thank You. Everyone couldn't be more right.  Our anniversary is Monday. I was talking to my wife yesterday, told her I was thinking about waiting until Tuesday. She told me to leave Sunday, not to worry about it. 
    Sure do love my wife. 
    Folks, PLEASE hug your loved ones and tell them how much they mean to you....
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  • Dredger
    Dredger Posts: 1,468
    @dougcrann, as you get older, the phrase "been there, done that" will come up often. Don't let it be about regret. Safe journey, buddy.
    Large BGE
    Greenville, SC
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  • YukonRon
    YukonRon Posts: 17,075
    You should go. Joe will appreciate your time with him, and Sandra will need all the emotional support you can offer.  There are a million noble deeds to be done every day of our lives, being a friend to those in need, is the most important. Do not miss this chance. Our lives do not come with a rewind button.
    Wishing the best for Joe, Sandra,  Ernestina and you. 
    Safe travels my friend.
    "Knowledge is Good" - Emil Faber

    XL and MM
    Louisville, Kentucky
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  • dougcrann
    dougcrann Posts: 1,129
    Well...made it to Phoenix.  Met Sandra at the hospital. Joe was asleep. His eyes opened a few times while I was at his bedside. Couldn't help but notice the look of fear in his eyes. Apparently the cancer is advancing rapidly. She mentioned that the tumors are pressing on his tracea. Sandra also said the docs have stopped the xrays of his chest and that his heart is starting to skip some beats...
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  • YukonRon
    YukonRon Posts: 17,075
    I am glad you are there during their time of need in such dire of circumstance. Be strong my friend, you are a good person.
    "Knowledge is Good" - Emil Faber

    XL and MM
    Louisville, Kentucky
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  • StillH2OEgger
    StillH2OEgger Posts: 3,831
    As agonizing as it is to see your friend in that condition, I don't think you'll regret making the effort to be there for him. Hoping the best for all.
    Stillwater, MN
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  • gdenby
    gdenby Posts: 6,239
    You might try singing or talking reassuringly. The hearing is last to go, and songs often will bring up sheltering memories.
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