Thanksgiving Disasters or Near Disasters--Let the Stories Begin--Here's Mine

buzzvol

@RRP I thought you meant the Mrs too.  I just read that other thread.  Wow.

northGAcock

SGH said:

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Fred19Flintstone said:

Funny story.  Thanks.

The sad part is, the story is true. I haven't been drunk in a long time. Now I remember why I quit drinking. I always end up naked, in jail or both. My wife is still pissed. 

It's a same wives don't seem to have a sense of humor these days. I have walked your shoes a few times over the years......once mine caught me peeing in the bedroom closet. I guess I thaught it was the bathroom.

Jupiter Jim

RRP said:

Mine? I started a firestorm over buying a Kick Ash Basket...with my OWN money at that!!!

Your just a big Rebel Rouser............ RRP  I to have not wasted my hard earned $$$$$$ on Kick Ash Baskets! A tisket a tasket I got a Kick Ash Basket!!!!

Jupiter Jim

Well the wife and I spend the winters in Okeechobee FL in our Motor Home and last Sunday while dumping the black water tank I discovered we had a leak and it rendered our toilet out of service! The turkey was in the fridge thawing for the big day! Called Lazydays in Tampa, Monday and got an appoint for Tuesday at 9:30 AM!!! Usually they are a month out with service appointments so we said we will be there and we were. So the bird is back in the deep freeze and we are off to Tampa. They quickly confirmed that yes you have a leak and you need a new vacuum pump that is in Elkhart IN and we need approval from extended warranty company before we can order the pump. Got approval late Wednesday and agreed to pay shipping for overnight with no real guarantee that it would be shipped until Friday because of the holiday! The nearest toilet is like 150' away here in the service bay! Our Turkey dinner we at Cracker Barrel and was just OK at best. The pump arrived today and has been installed and we are off in the AM for our winter home.  

Botch

Davec433 said:

@JohnInCarolina Hillarious! I'm sure he'll be pretty embarrassed at family get together a from now on.

...and he'll probably be getting extra suspenders as gifts every xmas, birthday, and Father's Day for the rest of his life.  

Botch

Many years ago I roasted a turkey in my oven (pre-Egg-ownership) using a new-fangled "roasting bag".  Checking the bird, I noticed the bag had ballooned up with steam; the condensation collected on the top of the inflated bag and dripped/ran back onto the bird, no problem.
Awhile later I heard a snapping/sizzling sound coming from the oven; took a peek and one corner of the bag was laying over the edge of the roasting pan, had collected a lot of condensate, and the corner touched the grate of the oven and burned through.  The juice was now squirting all over the oven and burning.  
I grabbed a couple potholders and grabbed the roasting pan, with the intention of setting it in my stainless-steel sink.  While spinning around, the hot juice flowed across my wrist, I said a bad word, and the pan/turkey flew across the kitchen.  
After flooding my wrist with cold water in the sink, I started cleaning up the kitchen and oven, what a mess.  Fortunately the bag protected the turkey and it wasn't ruined, but I'll never use a roasting bag again (and the Egg makes the whole thing moot now, anyway).  

JRWhitee

Botch said:

Many years ago I roasted a turkey in my oven (pre-Egg-ownership) using a new-fangled "roasting bag".  Checking the bird, I noticed the bag had ballooned up with steam; the condensation collected on the top of the inflated bag and dripped/ran back onto the bird, no problem.
Awhile later I heard a snapping/sizzling sound coming from the oven; took a peek and one corner of the bag was laying over the edge of the roasting pan, had collected a lot of condensate, and the corner touched the grate of the oven and burned through.  The juice was now squirting all over the oven and burning.  
I grabbed a couple potholders and grabbed the roasting pan, with the intention of setting it in my stainless-steel sink.  While spinning around, the hot juice flowed across my wrist, I said a bad word, and the pan/turkey flew across the kitchen.  
After flooding my wrist with cold water in the sink, I started cleaning up the kitchen and oven, what a mess.  Fortunately the bag protected the turkey and it wasn't ruined, but I'll never use a roasting bag again (and the Egg makes the whole thing moot now, anyway).  

Those bags don't work very well on an Egg anyway....just saying...lol

blind99

Near disaster but managed to recover.  

I'm working this week so we said we wouldn't do thanksgiving. Which means we hosted for 15 people. Yesterday morning I got the fresh turkey out I had bought last Saturday and found my garage fridge was warm. IT of the turkey was 45 and it smelled. Ran out and bought a new 21 lb butterball turkey frozen solid. 

Turkey went  into a cooler sorry no yeti or rtic and into the bathtub to run hot water through it. Managed to get it mostly thawed in 2 hours and onto the egg.

pouring rain here was basting the turkey nice. Ended up making a rain protector with my chimney starter and tinfoil. 

In the end I got the half frozen 21 lber done in 3.5 hours and to the table on time. Someone took a picture I'll try to get it up. 

Durangler

SGH said:

I don't know if this counts or not, but yesterday I did something that I haven't done in quite sometime. I got tore up from the floor up. In my drunken state I fell asleep on the crapper in mid grumpy. How is this a near disaster? I did it in the guest bathroom with a house full of guests. Somehow I was naked and left the door open as well. Luckily it was my wife who discovered me and not one of the guests. So disaster was avoided, but it was a close call. The wife was furious to say the least. Hey all ended well though. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. 

@SGH Dude, you need to become more regular. 
Wake up, have a cup of coffee, fart, then head to the head. Git er done 1st thing, then your good until tomorrow! 

Cindysue

SGH said:

I don't know if this counts or not, but yesterday I did something that I haven't done in quite sometime. I got tore up from the floor up. In my drunken state I fell asleep on the crapper in mid grumpy. How is this a near disaster? I did it in the guest bathroom with a house full of guests. Somehow I was naked and left the door open as well. Luckily it was my wife who discovered me and not one of the guests. So disaster was avoided, but it was a close call. The wife was furious to say the least. Hey all ended well though. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. 

Awesome!

Cindysue

Still LOL

SGH said:

I don't know if this counts or not, but yesterday I did something that I haven't done in quite sometime. I got tore up from the floor up. In my drunken state I fell asleep on the crapper in mid grumpy. How is this a near disaster? I did it in the guest bathroom with a house full of guests. Somehow I was naked and left the door open as well. Luckily it was my wife who discovered me and not one of the guests. So disaster was avoided, but it was a close call. The wife was furious to say the least. Hey all ended well though. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. 

blind99

@sgh you were naked with a house full of guests?! if that's thanksgiving, what the heck is new years like??  as they say, $hit happens...
@johnincarolina That's what grandfathers are for.  Would have been par for the course with mine

finished bird:

SGH

blind99 said:

@sgh you were naked with a house full of guests?! 

Yes sir, I was. Not to get off on a rant, I was always quick to take my clothes off when I was younger. Drunk or not. The alcohol just assured that I would get naked. Now that I'm older I don't mind wearing clothes, but just as sure as I drink I will shuck them. Old habits die hard my friend. 

Cindysue said:

Awesome!

Thank you sister. I'm glad that someone can appreciate it. My wife is still acting a fool over the incident. 

nolaegghead

@SGH - you still coming to nola for oysters tomorrow?  SWMBO wanted to know if you would please not do a naked grumpy at the restaurant. 

Just messin with ya buddy.

Cindysue

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Thank you sister. I'm glad that someone can appreciate it. My wife is still acting a fool over the incident. 

No doubt! If it were my Boyfriend, i might still be miffed. But we are always more critical of ourselves than others. This too shall pass 

SGH

nolaegghead said:

@SGH - you still coming to nola for oysters tomorrow?  SWMBO wanted to know if you would please not do a naked grumpy at the restaurant. 

Just messin with ya buddy.

Brother I don't know yet. Party Monster got arrested again today. I'm really wanting to come, just don't know yet. 

slovelad

SGH said:

I don't know if this counts or not, but yesterday I did something that I haven't done in quite sometime. I got tore up from the floor up. In my drunken state I fell asleep on the crapper in mid grumpy. How is this a near disaster? I did it in the guest bathroom with a house full of guests. Somehow I was naked and left the door open as well. Luckily it was my wife who discovered me and not one of the guests. So disaster was avoided, but it was a close call. The wife was furious to say the least. Hey all ended well though. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. 

From the sounds of your work schedule, you deserve a sloppy day!

northGAcock

SGH said:

I don't know if this counts or not, but yesterday I did something that I haven't done in quite sometime. I got tore up from the floor up. In my drunken state I fell asleep on the crapper in mid grumpy. How is this a near disaster? I did it in the guest bathroom with a house full of guests. Somehow I was naked and left the door open as well. Luckily it was my wife who discovered me and not one of the guests. So disaster was avoided, but it was a close call. The wife was furious to say the least. Hey all ended well though. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. 

Sorry @SGH .....almost as traditional of Alice's Restaurant....the Thanksgiving caper has to be bumped. Try to stay out of trouble this year.

jabam

Yes that was an all-timer!