The best ever potatoes au gratin recipe

nolaegghead

Figuring this out is like learning how to read.  Epiphany.  The very definition.  You will be praised by all eating it.  Unless you're horrible at following instructions.

(in other news, I could have sworn I ate asparagus when I was in the water closet, yet I'm certain I didn't.  Medical people, is that a problem?)

I stumbled upon the best potatoes au gratin (however that's spelled, I could f-in care less) recipe.  I modified it, since I refuse to follow recipes. I will release this at some point and it will change many lives.  The key is simplicity, no, that's not right, well, lets just say awesomeness of recipeness. 

I will release this recipe at an indeterminate time.  I will start a contest, when released, where the winner will get a box, probably very small because of shipping costs, that will hold several cubic inches of contents. I will make said box from wood that @piney brought from his homeland.  (Piney, I still plan on making your wife a big box).  Sadly I can't figure out criteria for a winner, so lets just say the first person that makes it and posts pictures of it in a thread.

nolaegghead

OK.  That time is now.

Peel some Russet potatoes.  Lets say 3 pounds.

Cut those MF-ers up in 1/4 inch slices.  Lay down (like a porn star) a layer on the bottom of a casserole dish.  On top of that, lay down a layer of onions, cut anyway however your heart desires.  Sheet be cooked when done so do burger rounds for all I care. 

Pile up more sliced spuds until your casserole dish is flush with taters.

In a pan, melt some butter and salt (estimate enough for the taters and onions).  Maybe 4 or 5 tablespoons of butter (you're an idiot of you add that much salt).  You can always add more. I don't give a F.  Mix in enough flour to make it almost turn into dough.  Use a whisk, or something.  Let it cook for a few minutes to get the "raw flour" flava outta it.

Secret ingredient:  Slowly add two or three cups of full-blown, non-low-fat buttermilk.  If you can't find this, just don't attempt this recipe.  Or use whole milk.

Using the whisk (or garden hoe), you should have a smooth sauce.  Don't burn it fool!

Next add about 8 to 12 ounces of delicious grated cheese.  Stir that stuff up until it's creamy and add some pepper.  You are done with the spices.  This is a simple recipe.  But you will be rewarded in the end.

Pour the thick gelatanous mixture over the taters.  Be prepared for copious amounts of smoke from your egg/oven if you have an overflow.

Cook at 400F for 1.5 hours. 

Serve.  And be a god.

Dredger

That does sound incredible. I think that buttermilk is an excellent ingredient that adds tang and zip to the cheese. I've used it before in lieu of regular milk in mashed potatoes and it was very good. Of course, it has to be the whole fat type, not low fat. Thanks for the recipe.

paqman

I woke up this morning and seen this.  I COULD NOT resist the urge and cooked a batch for breakfast.

blind99

Nola if this is what goes through your head at 4 am I am afraid to think of what goes through it the rest of the day. 

But thank you for the recipe!

theyolksonyou

Maybe my favorite recipe ever.  Flow of consciousness is the only way to write a good recipe.  

fishlessman

sounds simple enough and i have buttermilk   my twist has been chicken stock added with the milk to the roux and xtra sharp cabots cheddar. always russets

stlcharcoal

caliking

1. You're an evil deviant genius
2. If it itches or oozes, you've got a problem. 

Thatgrimguy

paqman said:

I woke up this morning and seen this.  I COULD NOT resist the urge and cooked a batch for breakfast.

 Just for the record.. this time stamp is a mear 1 hours and 2 minutes later than the OP. That's dedication right there. Or a lie. Either way, I like it.

nolaegghead

Thanks for all the kind comments.  This is from yesterday.

nolaegghead

Tip:  Spray the casserole dish down with oil (inside and out) and it's pretty easy to clean.

Photo Egg

nolaegghead said:

OK.  That time is now.

Peel some Russet potatoes.  Lets say 3 pounds.

Cut those MF-ers up in 1/4 inch slices.  Lay down (like a porn star) a layer on the bottom of a casserole dish.  On top of that, lay down a layer of onions, cut anyway however your heart desires.  Sheet be cooked when done so do burger rounds for all I care. 

Pile up more sliced spuds until your casserole dish is flush with taters.

In a pan, melt some butter and salt (estimate enough for the taters and onions).  Maybe 4 or 5 tablespoons of butter (you're an idiot of you add that much salt).  You can always add more. I don't give a F.  Mix in enough flour to make it almost turn into dough.  Use a whisk, or something.  Let it cook for a few minutes to get the "raw flour" flava outta it.

Secret ingredient:  Slowly add two or three cups of full-blown, non-low-fat buttermilk.  If you can't find this, just don't attempt this recipe.  Or use whole milk.

Using the whisk (or garden hoe), you should have a smooth sauce.  Don't burn it fool!

Next add about 8 to 12 ounces of delicious grated cheese.  Stir that stuff up until it's creamy and add some pepper.  You are done with the spices.  This is a simple recipe.  But you will be rewarded in the end.

Pour the thick gelatanous mixture over the taters.  Be prepared for copious amounts of smoke from your egg/oven if you have an overflow.

Cook at 400F for 1.5 hours. 

Serve.  And be a god.

Do you layer onions between every layer of spuds?
Thanks...sounds fantastic...

nolaegghead

@Photo Egg The original recipe that inspired me just had one layer of onions, but I don't see why you couldn't layer (perhaps less per layer to spread out) onions between more then one potato layer.   I used about 1.5 medium onions.  Add more or less to your tastes.

DoubleEgger

Are taking a page out of the Thug Kitchen playbook @nolaegghead ? 

jls9595

making this tonight! looks really good and perfect side for leftover burgers from last night. 

nolaegghead

Y'all, this is the recipe that I thought was beautiful in it's simplicity.  I changed some ratios and substituted full-on buttermilk for the milk (I love buttermilk).  It was insanely good, and people raved about it at our dinner party last night.

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/15925/creamy-au-gratin-potatoes/

nolaegghead

I have committed the recipe to memory, and it is now in my arsenal of sides.   Experiment with different cheeses and types of spuds to mix it up.  You can even add bacon.

I love the simplicity and it takes maybe 20 minutes to prep.

Legume

Can't wait for someone to post "hey, I put pulled pork/hatch chiles in potatoes au gratin and it was f'n amazing!"

This could be a more sophisticated mac cheese-type vehicle.

I love potatoes au gratin, I never buy buttermilk.  I need to change that.

nolaegghead

DoubleEgger said:

Are taking a page out of the Thug Kitchen playbook @nolaegghead ? 

Sorta turned out that way

nolaegghead

nolaegghead

@Legume - Buttermilk is stocked at my home.  I kinda "rediscovered" it a while back.  Hard to find....well, not in every grocery around here.  I like to drink a glass of it now and then.

Ranch dressing:  Use buttermilk and mayo as the base and it's INSANE.  Trust me on this.  If you want to go reduced fat, still get the whole milk buttermilk and cut down on the mayo recipe.

Photo Egg

DoubleEgger said:u

Are taking a page out of the Thug Kitchen playbook @nolaegghead ? 

Keep Thug on my desk at work.
Keeps people wondering.lol

nolaegghead

SWMBO bought 5 copies for gifts this xmas. 

DoubleEgger

paqman

Thatgrimguy said:

paqman said:

I woke up this morning and seen this.  I COULD NOT resist the urge and cooked a batch for breakfast.

Just for the record.. this time stamp is a mear 1 hours and 2 minutes later than the OP. That's dedication right there. Or a lie. Either way, I like it.

@Thatgrimguy
LOL, I guess that the stars were aligned.  I cooked that last night...  I was expecting @nolaegghead to quickly pick up on it but I assume he was too tired.

My recipe is somewhat easier (no need to make a roux) but I like the idea of using buttermilk.  Alternate layers of thinly sliced potatoes, onions and some chunks of butter.  Sprinkle some flower on each layer.  Add milk until it reaches just underneath the top layer.  Finish with some cream.  We usually don't add cheese, but it never hurts to add some.  I cook at 425F until the milk starts bubbling then I lower the eat to 325F.  1 1/2 - 2 hours total cook time.  Pure awesomeness.  I usually cook in a disposable foil pan which I place in a cookie sheet to avoid the mess in the oven.

SGH

@nolaegghead Sounds like a great recipe my friend. Will give it a try for sure. 

texaswig

Thanks for the recipe. I guess I'll give you pass for forgetting to invite to your dinner party. I only live 450 miles away. 

nolaegghead

@SGH - thanks scotttie!

@paqman - hahaha  I didn't need to look at the exif time stamp...takes 2 hours including 30 minutes prep to make this.  Looks good!

blasting

That was the first time I've seen a recipe written aggressively.

Eff U, you mf-er.  Thanks for posting - it looks delicious.

nolaegghead

@blasting You're MF-in welcome.  Eat like you give a F*ck!  (stole that from Thug Kitchen)