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It's time for another joke thread

135

Comments

  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 34,682
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike

    "The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand." - Deep Throat
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  • Focker
    Focker Posts: 8,364
    edited December 2016
    Yeah nola and JIC, "cut it out". 
    Brandon
    Quad Cities
    "If yer gonna denigrate, familiarity with the subject is helpful."

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  • Hntnhrd
    Hntnhrd Posts: 713
    Too far???

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  • SemolinaPilchard
    SemolinaPilchard Posts: 1,282
    Hntnhrd said:
    Too far???

    At one of the White House Correspondents Dinners Obama told a bunch of jokes at Trump's expense. A Democrat congressman who rode in the limo with Obama after the dinner said Obama was repeating the jokes and was so proud of himself. Some think that was at least part of the reason Trump threw that thing on his head in the ring. I have no idea if that is true, but it sounds good. 
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  • HofstraJet
    HofstraJet Posts: 1,170
    I'm not politically-minded, but those last few pictures are funny, I don't care who you are.
    Two Large Eggs, 6 gal Cajun Fryer, and a MiniMax in Charlotte, NC - My New Table
    Twitter: @ Bags
    Blog: TheJetsFan.com
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  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 19,151
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  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 34,682
    @DoubleEgger - LOL
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike

    "The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand." - Deep Throat
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  • The Cen-Tex Smoker
    The Cen-Tex Smoker Posts: 23,179
    theyolksonyou said:
    What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom?

    one snatches watches and the other watches snatches
    We sponsored some backwater drag racing event in Tulsa OK like 10 years ago. Every cretin and meth addicted hillbilly for miles showed up. We were giving away free swag and the line was like an hour long. One guy had a 9 year old girl on his arm (clearly his daughter). He was covered in prison tats and had a cutoff shirt that said:

    I love to Snatch Kisses and Vice Versa

    nice.
    Keepin' It Weird in The ATX FBTX
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  • Hntnhrd
    Hntnhrd Posts: 713
    Let's get this back off politics!

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  • theyolksonyou
    theyolksonyou Posts: 18,459
    Why did the tomato blush?




    because it saw the salad dressing. 
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  • JohnnyTarheel
    JohnnyTarheel Posts: 6,629
    What do yo call a potato with a penis?



    A dictator!!
    Charlotte, NC - Large BGE 2014, Maverick ET 733, Thermopen, Nest, Platesetter, Woo2 and Extender w/Grid, Kick Ash Basket, Pizza Stone, SS Smokeware Cap, Blackstone 36"
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  • gmac
    gmac Posts: 1,814
    Hub said:
    Saw the title and thought what a great idea ... came here to post a great joke about Donald Duck shopping for chapstick at a convenience store ... saw all the political stuff ... decided to leave thread without posting joke ... SMH .. can we not do the political thing here? Is it that difficult to keep your damn politics to yourself?!?
    Is anyone else curious what the joke was?
    Mt Elgin Ontario - just a Large.
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  • theyolksonyou
    theyolksonyou Posts: 18,459
    gmac said:
    Hub said:
    Saw the title and thought what a great idea ... came here to post a great joke about Donald Duck shopping for chapstick at a convenience store ... saw all the political stuff ... decided to leave thread without posting joke ... SMH .. can we not do the political thing here? Is it that difficult to keep your damn politics to yourself?!?
    Is anyone else curious what the joke was?
    Something about put it on my bill. 
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  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 34,682
    gmac said:
    Hub said:
    Saw the title and thought what a great idea ... came here to post a great joke about Donald Duck shopping for chapstick at a convenience store ... saw all the political stuff ... decided to leave thread without posting joke ... SMH .. can we not do the political thing here? Is it that difficult to keep your damn politics to yourself?!?
    Is anyone else curious what the joke was?
    All I saw was Donald and thought oh no another Trump joke.
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike

    "The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand." - Deep Throat
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  • pgprescott
    pgprescott Posts: 14,544
    JohnInCarolina said:
    gmac said:
    Hub said:
    Saw the title and thought what a great idea ... came here to post a great joke about Donald Duck shopping for chapstick at a convenience store ... saw all the political stuff ... decided to leave thread without posting joke ... SMH .. can we not do the political thing here? Is it that difficult to keep your damn politics to yourself?!?
    Is anyone else curious what the joke was?
    All I saw was Donald and thought oh no another Trump joke.
    Of course. 
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  • HofstraJet
    HofstraJet Posts: 1,170
    theyolksonyou said:
    gmac said:
    Hub said:
    Saw the title and thought what a great idea ... came here to post a great joke about Donald Duck shopping for chapstick at a convenience store ... saw all the political stuff ... decided to leave thread without posting joke ... SMH .. can we not do the political thing here? Is it that difficult to keep your damn politics to yourself?!?
    Is anyone else curious what the joke was?
    Something about put it on my bill. 
    I thought it would be the one about a hooker with dysentery. 
    Two Large Eggs, 6 gal Cajun Fryer, and a MiniMax in Charlotte, NC - My New Table
    Twitter: @ Bags
    Blog: TheJetsFan.com
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  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 19,151

    A duck walked into a drug store to buy some Chapstick. The pharmacist asked, "Will that be cash or charge?" The duck replied, "Just put it on my bill".

    The next day the duck walked into the drug store to buy a condom. The pharmacist asked, "Would you like for me to put that on your bill?" The duck replied, "I'm not that kind of a duck".

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  • theyolksonyou
    theyolksonyou Posts: 18,459
    Why don't chickens wear underwear?



    cause their pecker's on their head. 
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  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 34,682
    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To prove to the skunk that it could be done.
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike

    "The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand." - Deep Throat
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  • theyolksonyou
    theyolksonyou Posts: 18,459
    Why did the skunk cross the road?

    it didn
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  • SaintJohnsEgger
    SaintJohnsEgger Posts: 1,826
    Q: What is the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?



    A: Porcupines have pricks on the outside. 
    Marshall in Beautiful Fruit Cove, FL.
    MiniMax 04/17
    Unofficial BGE MiniMax Evangelist
    Facebook Big Green Egg MiniMax Owners Group


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  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 34,682
    Why did God invent alcohol?





    To prevent the Irish from ruling the Earth.
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike

    "The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand." - Deep Throat
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  • bgebrent
    bgebrent Posts: 19,636
    JohnInCarolina said:
    Why did God invent alcohol?





    To prevent the Irish from ruling the Earth.
    I'm Irish, when I give up drinking I might run for office.
    Sandy Springs & Dawsonville Ga
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  • theyolksonyou
    theyolksonyou Posts: 18,459
    bgebrent said:
    JohnInCarolina said:
    Why did God invent alcohol?





    To prevent the Irish from ruling the Earth.
    I'm Irish, when I give up drinking I might run for office.
    That's a good joke. You'd have to actually work. 
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  • Danielson
    Danielson Posts: 54
    Trump is a little stressed about winning the election he didn't think he would. He sneaks out of the White House to get some air and has Secret Service drive him around D. C. He goes to Washington monument and looks up to the sky and says "George, I wish there was some advice you could give me to do the people right and be a good president" a big booming voice comes down from the sky "listen to the people". Trump says "that's good, I know what to do". 
    He goes to Jefferson memorial and looks up to the sky and says "Thomas , I wish there was some advice you could give me to do the people right and be a good president" a big booming voice comes down from the sky "follow the constitution ". Trump says I can do that, that's good. 
    He goes to Lincoln memorial and looks up to the sky and says "Abe, I wish there was some advice you could give me to do the people right and be a good president" a big booming voice comes down from the sky "go to the theater ". 
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  • bgebrent
    bgebrent Posts: 19,636
    theyolksonyou said:
    bgebrent said:
    JohnInCarolina said:
    Why did God invent alcohol?





    To prevent the Irish from ruling the Earth.
    I'm Irish, when I give up drinking I might run for office.
    That's a good joke. You'd have to actually work. 
    Work is for suckers, sucker. ;)
    Sandy Springs & Dawsonville Ga
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  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 34,682
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike

    "The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand." - Deep Throat
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • DoubleEgger
    DoubleEgger Posts: 19,151
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  • NewBerlinEggprentice
    NewBerlinEggprentice Posts: 92
    theyolksonyou said:
    What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom?

    one snatches watches and the other watches snatches


    What's the difference between an Ritz and a lesbian?


    Ones a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.

    I'm a father, husband and a veteran and I love food. Cooking it, thinking about it and eating it.

    Equipment: Large BGE with KickAsh basket and SmokeWare SS Chimney cap

    28 inch Blackstone griddle

    Kenmore Gasser storage unit/overflow cooker

    Click here to read more about my cooking adventure!

    New Berlin, WI

                      

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