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    FAIL. I mean FUBAR fail.

    Posts: 6,412
    in EggHead Forum
    No excuses. I just suck. Been craving some pork spare ribs for weeks. Decided today was it, and being as how I was only doing one rack,
    I'd experiment with the minimax.

    And that's where the train came off the tracks. Still using just the bge platesetter, (no woo YET), I laid the two halves side by side. Temp wanted to creep to 300 so I left it there. After 2 hrs I noticed they were beginning to char. So I rotated so that the char would be in the middle. Another hour went by, and checked them again. Black. ****. So I foiled (with butter and honey) and shut the bottom vent completely. Another hour, checked again. This is what they looked like. ****. I'm pissed. image
    Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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    • Posts: 1,479
      Sorry to see the fail. As long as you learned it won't be a total waste.
      XL BGE, LG BGE, and a hunger to grill everything in sight!!!
      Joe- Strongsville, OH
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    • Posts: 15,665
      Calibration? How were they on the inside?
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    • Posts: 1,755
      Is it your rub or glaze that charred. Maybe you can debone and pull the meat.
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    • Posts: 9,136
      How do they taste? Throw some sauce on them...might not be a total loss. Could just be the sugar and might not taste burnt. I recently did a butt that had sugar in the rub. I started hotter than normal and it looked very black, but didn't taste burnt at all
      Just a hack that makes some $hitty BBQ....
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    • Posts: 34,966
      @Jeremiah-I enjoy burnt toast...That said, "If looks could kill, I'd be dead."  Taste-wise there has got to be some redeeming value here  Regardless, full marks for fronting up with the cook.  I do think you are too hard on yourself...
      Louisville; Rolling smoke in the neighbourhood.  Life is too short for light/lite beer!  Seems I'm livin in a transitional period. CHEETO (aka Agent Orange) makes Nixon look like a saint.  
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    • Posts: 13,836
      Yeah, give them a try. I finished some ribs last weekend at high temp to push to the finish. The rub apparently had a decent amount of sugar and they were pretty much black on the outside. They actually were really good.
      They/Them
      Morgantown, PA

      XL BGE - S BGE - KJ Jr - HB Legacy - BS Pizza Oven - 30" Firepit - King Kooker Fryer -  PR72T - WSJ - BS 17" Griddle - XXL BGE  - BS SS36" Griddle - 2 Burner Gasser - Pellet Smoker
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    • Posts: 6,412
      edited January 2015
      No they're shot. The middles of them were maybe edible, but I was too pissed to attempt a salvage job.

      I'm trying to figure out what went wrong. I'm gonna calibrate the some thermo tomorrow, haven't done it yet. Second, I think the bge platesetter legs are way too short. I'm gonna have to pony up the money for a woo.
      Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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    • Posts: 20,931
      edited January 2015
      Man even at 300 I wouldn't expect that amount of char! That looks a lot like a direct burn or way more than 300deg. Sugar is usually good to 325 or so indirect on long smokes.

      Sorry that happened. Thats no fun :(

      Don't tell your problems to people.  80% of people don't care and 20% are glad you have them.


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    • Posts: 460
      edited January 2015
      As much as I hate to admit it worldwide, I would eat those. Theres beauty under that bark.....maybe just a little but Id go looking for it!
      When I'm not Eggin', I'm scootin'   Eggin' and 'cueing from Temecula Ca; an hour from San Diego, an hour and five minutes from Palm Springs, and an hour and a half from Los Angeles (yeah, right. With THAT traffic?)
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    • Posts: 378
      Must be something in the air, because mine did the same thing. Entirely to much char. First time no clue, and I cooked mine at 250°.
      George Foreman? Who? 
      Tim C. Panama City, Fl. 
      Large, Minimax-soon
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    • Posts: 28,928
      Brother Miah, sorry to hear that they didn't turn out to your liking. On a separate note, I would eat them, char and all. Char is not one of my favorites, but I would still eat them for sure.

      Location- Just "this side" of Biloxi, Ms.

      Status- Standing by.

      The greatest barrier against all wisdom, the stronghold against knowledge itself, is the single thought, in ones mind, that they already have it all figured out. 

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    • Posts: 73
      I would have eaten them, and declared them good!  :)
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    • Posts: 3,404
      You think the grid is too close to the plate setter?
      The mini woo and stone are close to the grid also and I haven't seen this char on low cooks.... :-?

      Btw are you going woo only or woo and stone when you buy it.
      Seattle, WA
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    • Posts: 3,827

      Jeremiah said:
      No excuses. I just suck. ...
      Not true ... I've seen some fantastic cooks come off your eggs.  And, the fact that you shared this cook speaks volumes.  Now, what do you think went wrong?  Any idea?

      Washington, IL  >  Queen Creek, AZ ... Two large eggs and an adopted Mini Max

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    • Posts: 3,515
      Pic turned out pretty good
      LBGE& SBGE———————————————•———————– Pennsylvania / poconos

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    • Posts: 6,412
      @SkinnyV‌ just the woo. I believe I need to gain the distance. Something's gotta give though, this sucked.
      Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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    • Posts: 6,412
      Thanks @Jeepster47‌ I have a few thoughts. Wish I could blame it on the booze, but crap. Sober as a minister all day.
      Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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    • Posts: 33,853
      Miah the ones I did on my MM last weekend were more burned than I like, and that was at 250 dome. I had some sugar in the sauce so that was part of it, but it's just really easy to toast ribs in my experience. In general I think as soon as it starts you just want to back way off the temp if you can, and even that doesn't always do it.
      "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike

      "The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand." - Deep Throat
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    • Posts: 13,836
      Thanks @Jeepster47‌ I have a few thoughts. Wish I could blame it on the booze, but crap. Sober as a minister all day.
      So you're drunk as a skunk?
      They/Them
      Morgantown, PA

      XL BGE - S BGE - KJ Jr - HB Legacy - BS Pizza Oven - 30" Firepit - King Kooker Fryer -  PR72T - WSJ - BS 17" Griddle - XXL BGE  - BS SS36" Griddle - 2 Burner Gasser - Pellet Smoker
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    • Posts: 3,404
      Temp too high or were flames coming around the plate setter. Could your fire have been unnecessarily high up? Who knows.
      I am storing my minimax until I get the platesetter at the least may get the woo also , the grid sits at felt height and I can insert those terracotta feet to raise the grid....but still may get the woo as its cheap enough.
      Seattle, WA
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    • Posts: 9
      I am baffled as well.  I cooked baby back ribs on my mini max indirect soon after I got it.  I rolled it up and held it in a circle shape with skewers.  I skipped the step of tenting with foil and apple juice, so I had low expectations.  The ribs were great.

      Today I cooked 4 chicken thighs.  I cooked them direct with dome temp of 250 degrees for about 1.5 hours.  I turned them once at half time.  Even though there was very little space between the meat and the charcoal, the skin ended up perfect.  I came to the conclusion that cooking on the mini max works whether direct or indirect in spite of the lack of distance between the meat and the fire because it takes so little heat to keep the dome at 275 degrees, that the charcoal is not glowing red like they do in a much larger dome.

      I also cooked two turkey breasts wrapped in bacon.  Cooked direct at 300 degrees.  It was done in about 2 hours, and the bacon came out cooked perfect.

      I think you are looking in the right direction with dome thermometer caliberation!
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    • Posts: 6,412
      @JohnInCarolina‌ I was hoping you'd chime in, as I blame you for this mess. Your post the other day looked so good I had to do it too. It's funny though, I've always struggled to get a char in the large. Now I've got hockey pucks in the trash. :-q
      Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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    • Posts: 73
      Jeremiah said:
      Thanks @Jeepster47‌ I have a few thoughts. Wish I could blame it on the booze, but crap. Sober as a minister all day.
      Well, there is the problem!  My Eggs do not light unless I am holding a beverage.

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    • Posts: 3,404
      Btw that mini max is heavy. Ive carried it around today and while I am carrying it not bad but after the fact I feel it on my back.

      I'm confused as to how I carry 45lb dumbbells around for some workout stuff no problem but this is a bit tougher. :-?
      Seattle, WA
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    • Posts: 33,853
      Jeremiah said:

      @JohnInCarolina‌ I was hoping you'd chime in, as I blame you for this mess. Your post the other day looked so good I had to do it too. It's funny though, I've always struggled to get a char in the large. Now I've got hockey pucks in the trash. :-q

      You know I'd thought is blown it when I took those ribs off - a good half of them looked too burned to me. But they turned out to be the best I've done. I wish I could tell you the secret to great ribs, but the truth is they are constantly humbling me. Live and learn man!

      "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike

      "The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand." - Deep Throat
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    • Posts: 6,412
      It's heavy. Especially loaded with the platesetter and lump. I can do it cold but hot it needs two people. And yeah my back is wrecked too.
      Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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    • Posts: 1,938
      Jeremiah said:
      Thanks @Jeepster47‌ I have a few thoughts. Wish I could blame it on the booze, but crap. Sober as a minister all day.
      There's the problem.  If you woulda been sauced, you woulda scarfed em and declared them delicious. :))
      Large BGE in a Sole' Gourmet Table
      Using the Black Cast Iron grill, Plate Setter,
       and a BBQ Guru temp controller.

      Medium BGE in custom modified off-road nest.
      Black Cast Iron grill, Plate Setter, and a Party-Q temp controller.

      Location: somewhere West of the Mason-Dixon Line
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    • Posts: 6,412
      Zmokin said:

      show previous quotes
      There's the problem.  If you woulda been sauced, you woulda scarfed em and declared them delicious. :))


      I secretly believe this is how the Waffle House stays in business.
      Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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    • Posts: 3,827
      Now wait a minute guys.  "Sober as a minister all day" could mean different things to different ministers ...

      Washington, IL  >  Queen Creek, AZ ... Two large eggs and an adopted Mini Max

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    • Posts: 6,412
      Just checked the some thermos. The minimax was about 15 degrees off. I believe that coupled with the short legs on the platesetter did it. image
      The second pic is post-calibration. image
      Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
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