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Why I hate the English language

FanOfFanboys
FanOfFanboys Posts: 2,615
in Off Topic
Read rhymes with lead
Read rhymes with lead

But

Read and lead do not rhyme and read does not rhyme with lead

Somehow pony rhymes with bologna.

And last week i chopped down a tree and once I was done I chopped it up. 
Boom
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Comments

  • Eggcelsior
    Eggcelsior Posts: 14,414
    I park in my driveway but drive on the parkway.

    I send a shipment in a car but cargo on a ship.

    My brain hurts.
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  • Rusty Rooster
    Rusty Rooster Posts: 1,239

    Switch to Latin and almost all of those issues will go away.  Of course you may find a whole new list of issues, starting with not being able to communicate with most others. :-)


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  • nolaegghead
    nolaegghead Posts: 42,109
    Spanish should be the dominant language in about 100 years, so don't worry, it's a much less confusing language, although I'm not crazy about the gender thing.
    ______________________________________________
    I love lamp..
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  • Eggcelsior
    Eggcelsior Posts: 14,414
    nolaegghead said:

    Spanish should be the dominant language in about 100 years, so don't worry, it's a much less confusing language, although I'm not crazy about the gender thing.

    It's still easier than English. To/two/too? What were they smoking?
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  • SoCalTim
    SoCalTim Posts: 2,158
    They're there or their .... boy, I always seem to screw those words up.
    I've slow smoked and eaten so much pork, I'm legally recognized as being part swine - Chatsworth Ca.
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  • nolaegghead
    nolaegghead Posts: 42,109
    Eggcelsior said:
    Spanish should be the dominant language in about 100 years, so don't worry, it's a much less confusing language, although I'm not crazy about the gender thing.
    It's still easier than English. To/two/too? What were they smoking?
    What, where they smoking?
    ______________________________________________
    I love lamp..
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  • badinfluence
    badinfluence Posts: 1,774
    Miss. Mrs...ms
    1 XXL BGE,  1 LG BGE, 2 MED. BGE, 1 MINI BGE, 1 Peoria custom cooker Meat Monster.


    Clinton, Iowa
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  • saluki2007
    saluki2007 Posts: 6,354
    image
    Large and Small BGE
    Central, IL

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  • Zmokin
    Zmokin Posts: 1,938
    1. though (like o in go)

    2. through (like oo in too)

    3. cough (like off in offer)

    4. rough (like uff in suffer)

    5. plough (like ow in flower)

    6. ought (like aw in saw)

    7. borough (like a in above)


    Large BGE in a Sole' Gourmet Table
    Using the Black Cast Iron grill, Plate Setter,
     and a BBQ Guru temp controller.

    Medium BGE in custom modified off-road nest.
    Black Cast Iron grill, Plate Setter, and a Party-Q temp controller.

    Location: somewhere West of the Mason-Dixon Line
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  • AlohaCJS
    AlohaCJS Posts: 46
    @eggcelsior Why do your feet smell but your nose runs?
    Chris
    Falls Church, VA
    Large & Mini
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  • MagicMike
    MagicMike Posts: 40
    I love words that are spelt the same but are pronounced completely different.

    When people abuse drugs this is called drug abuse.

    To contest the issue they held a contest.

    John became a convert after deciding to convert to Judaism.

    If I need a duplicate I can use the Xerox to duplicate the letter.

    When I graduate I will become a graduate.

    These factories produce the produce that is shipped abroad.

    A rebel is one who has decided to rebel.

    They alternate between using the alternate machine and the main one.

    The overture took years to perfect, but eventually it was perfect.

    I want you to separate the cards into two separate piles.

    The english language sure is fun.  :|
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  • Zmokin
    Zmokin Posts: 1,938
    edited June 2014
    AlohaCJS said:
    @eggcelsior Why do your feet smell but your nose runs?
    Because you are built upside down?
    Large BGE in a Sole' Gourmet Table
    Using the Black Cast Iron grill, Plate Setter,
     and a BBQ Guru temp controller.

    Medium BGE in custom modified off-road nest.
    Black Cast Iron grill, Plate Setter, and a Party-Q temp controller.

    Location: somewhere West of the Mason-Dixon Line
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  • JohnInCarolina
    JohnInCarolina Posts: 32,464
    My sister-in-law, bless her soul, cannot manage to figure out how to use "your" and "you're" properly. She misuses both all the time on Facebook.

    My brother, bless his heart because he has to live with her, posted some time ago on FB that for people who are confused, they can always just use "Yer".  As in, "Yer done!"

    She still fucks it up. 
    "I've made a note never to piss you two off." - Stike
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  • saluki2007
    saluki2007 Posts: 6,354
    Bless his/her heart = **** idoit.
    Large and Small BGE
    Central, IL

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  • buzd504
    buzd504 Posts: 3,855
    MagicMike said:

    These factories produce the produce that is shipped abroad.


    None of that for me, thanks.
    NOLA
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  • sumoconnell
    sumoconnell Posts: 1,932
    edited June 2014
    Buffalo, NY
    Buffalo the animal
    Buffalo, the verb "to buffalo" is roughly "to fool" (through grandstanding?)

    So,  If buffalo from buffalo, NY fooled buffalo from buffalo, NY...

    Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

    (Chicago deer fool Chicago deer).  Beer me.

    (edit, only works since buffalo is plural for buffalo!!)
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Austin, Texas.  I'm the guy holding a beer.
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  • saluki2007
    saluki2007 Posts: 6,354
    sumoconnell said:
    Buffalo, NY
    Buffalo the animal
    Buffalo, the verb "to buffalo" is roughly "to fool" (through grandstanding?)

    So,  If buffalo from buffalo, NY fooled buffalo from buffalo, NY...

    Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

    (Chicago deer fool Chicago deer).  Beer me.

    (edit, only works since buffalo is plural for buffalo!!)
    So,  If buffalo from buffalo, NY fooled buffalo from buffalo, NY while eating buffalo mozzarella....  
    Large and Small BGE
    Central, IL

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  • fishlessman
    fishlessman Posts: 33,379
    canadian french is the best, stumble in drunk into any bar off st catherine street in montreal and spit out derrblahhh and a cute waitress/highly talented dancer brings you two labatts
    :D
    fukahwee maine

    you can lead a fish to water but you can not make him drink it
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  • FanOfFanboys
    FanOfFanboys Posts: 2,615
    I'm going back to just grunting and pointing ha
    Boom
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  • HDumptyEsq
    HDumptyEsq Posts: 1,095
    Now steady on chaps.
    English is on of the most expressive languages having access to more words than any other. Bearing in mind it's a compilation of many other languages and derivations.
    French sounds nice but has to be fairly specific and they have to borrow from the English, as in "le weekend". German just joins words together instead of inventing new ones. The English dictionary grows every year with contributions from modern usage. Dutch requires facial and guttural  gyrations that are almost impossible to achieve. Arabs sounds like dogs coughing up hairballs.
    You can see puns and plays on words all over this forum as a result of our luxuriant language.

    Tony in Brentwood, TN.

    Medium BGE, New Braunfels off-set smoker, 3-burner Charbroiler gasser, mainly used for Eggcessory  storage, old electric upright now used for Amaz-N-Smoker.

    "I like cooking with wine - sometimes I put it in the food." - W. C. Fields

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  • NDG
    NDG Posts: 2,432
    This one is deep . . . 

    BOOBYTRAP spelled backwards is PARTYBOOB
    Columbus, OH

    “There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle.  The other is as if everything is” 
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  • saluki2007
    saluki2007 Posts: 6,354
    58008
    Large and Small BGE
    Central, IL

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  • Carolina Q
    Carolina Q Posts: 14,831

    fishlessman said:
    canadian french is the best, stumble in drunk into any bar off st catherine street in montreal and spit out derrblahhh and a cute waitress/highly talented dancer brings you two labatts
    :D
    Derr? Deux? Close enough.  :))

    I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and all I find are ingredients!                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

    Michael 
    Central Connecticut 

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  • saluki2007
    saluki2007 Posts: 6,354
    What if ducks threw bread back at you?
    Large and Small BGE
    Central, IL

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  • HDumptyEsq
    HDumptyEsq Posts: 1,095
    saluki2007 said:
    What if ducks threw bread back at you?
    We'd wonder whether to do it raised direct or PS legs up at 275 or 400.
    Here's a 'toast' to the English language!!

    Tony in Brentwood, TN.

    Medium BGE, New Braunfels off-set smoker, 3-burner Charbroiler gasser, mainly used for Eggcessory  storage, old electric upright now used for Amaz-N-Smoker.

    "I like cooking with wine - sometimes I put it in the food." - W. C. Fields

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  • henapple
    henapple Posts: 16,025
    Move to Laredo TX....usually don't hear it much there.
    :D
    Green egg, dead animal and alcohol. The "Boro".. TN 
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  • scootr2200
    scootr2200 Posts: 23
    Why is it that an asteroid is in the hemisphere but a hemorrhoid is in your ass..

    Mickey  
    Western NC Egger since January 2014

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  • NPHuskerFL
    NPHuskerFL Posts: 17,629
    edited July 2014
    It's a sad day when an average educated foreigner can read and write the English language better than a college educated American. Damn you Facebook!

    OBW punctuation really does matter. "My Uncle helped jack off the horse" "My Uncle helped, Jack, off the horse". See it does matter.
    Here's one»» You should put on a little colon before your date arrives or you're not going to smell good. Colon or Cologne.
    LBGE 2013 & MM 2014
    Die Hard HUSKER & BRONCO FAN
    Flying Low & Slow in "Da Burg" FL
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  • HDumptyEsq
    HDumptyEsq Posts: 1,095
    A friend arrived sporting a new suit. "Is that a seersucker suit from Cox's?" I asked. "No, a c#@ksucker suit from Sears!" 

    Tony in Brentwood, TN.

    Medium BGE, New Braunfels off-set smoker, 3-burner Charbroiler gasser, mainly used for Eggcessory  storage, old electric upright now used for Amaz-N-Smoker.

    "I like cooking with wine - sometimes I put it in the food." - W. C. Fields

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