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grills and wives

henapplehenapple Posts: 15,986
Saw a post about a gasser yesterday and got me to thinking.

My gasser reminds me of my ex-wife. While she has some years on her with a little paint and a couple of additions she still looks good. Easy to turn on but equally easy to turn off. I had a difficult time getting her to work and when she did she seemed to run out of energy all the time. I have some fond memories of her but mostly she was a pain in the ass. I even let my neighbor borrow her and he wasn't impressed. I had a friend that had made a change and knew it was time.

My new beauty is something special. A curvaceous body and the cutest little dimples. She's got a grate rack and well, let's just say her bottom vent controls what I do. She takes a little longer to get warned up but damn, she'll go all night. Low and slow baby. No add ons needed but she loves to accessorize and I gladly oblige. I'll never complain about spending money on her...even built her a home. I experiment with her and it's usually a little spicy....I can do anything with her. My favorite time is having cocktails and spending time with her. My friends love her as much as I do. The guys can look but never touch..I tell them to get there own. I think the defining proof of my love is I want to add a little one. I would never do that before her. Sure, she'll blow a gasket when she gets hot and her moods go up and down but I've learned to leave her alone and she always comes around. To me she's perfect and i love her more and more each day.
Green egg, dead animal and alcohol. The "Boro".. TN 


  • caneggercanegger Posts: 540
    That was awesome. We'll done =))
  • I think I need a cigarette

    Go Dawgs! - Marietta, GA
  • "Grills and Wives" have the same rules as "posting without pictures" --  it didn't happen without pictures!! >:D<
  • EggcelsiorEggcelsior Posts: 14,015
    standing ovation

  • henapplehenapple Posts: 15,986

    "Grills and Wives" have the same rules as "posting without pictures" --  it didn't happen without pictures!! >:D<

    Some pics can't be posted.
    Green egg, dead animal and alcohol. The "Boro".. TN 
  • ChubbsChubbs Posts: 6,925

    standing ovation

    Come on Hen, when you asked me to send you My thoughts about my egg and how I compare to a woman I didn't know you were posting them on a public forum.
    Columbia, SC --- LBGE 2011 -- MINI BGE 2013
  • Well, you did a good job of explainin the difference betweet the wives ----  a very good job, but you know what they say about
    "the eyes of the behold-her" ;)  Kind of like "before " and "after" food pictures.

    Direct VS Indirect ---------------------------  we need photos !!

  • calikingcaliking Posts: 11,129
    I can't stop laughing... how true. :))

    #1 LBGE December 2012 • #2 SBGE February  2013 • #3 Mini May 2013
    A happy BGE family in Houston, TX.
  • CeramicChefCeramicChef Posts: 182
    edited February 2013
    I think I need a smoke and a shower! =)) that was one of the funniest posts I've ever read. You should be writing stand up! :))
  • shtgunal3shtgunal3 Posts: 4,005
    Damn that's funny!



     LBGE,SBGE, and a Mini makes three......Sweet home Alabama........ Stay thirsty my friends .

  • bigphilbigphil Posts: 1,390
    =)) =)) awesome 
    Large Big Green Egg , XL Big Green Egg . BBQ Guru, Weber Kettle, Weber Q grill for road trips.
  • This has some truth, but if you are feeling lonely, there are some things you just shouldn't put in that bottom vent.
    Mark Annville, PA
  • incredible
  • RACRAC Posts: 1,688


    Boerne, TX

  • Love it! Printing it! Hanging it on the wall!
    Lovin' my Large Egg since May 2012 (Richmond, VA) ... and makin' cookbooks at
    Stoker II wifi, Thermapen, and a Fork for plating photo purposes
  • AviatorAviator Posts: 1,725

    Hen, are you taking your meds regularly??


    :)) Obsession is not to be taken lightly around here. Its a full time job.


    Large and Small BGE, Blackstone 36 and a baby black Kub.

    Chattanooga, TN.


  • DiptipDiptip Posts: 45
    edited February 2013

    So, did you decide to get the extra large?



    ;;) :-*
    In an idiots head.
  • TjcoleyTjcoley Posts: 3,528
    Nicely done sir, very nicely done.
    It's not a science, it's an art. And it's flawed.
    - Camp Hill, PA
  • KoskoKosko Posts: 535
    That's funny I don't care you are! Henapple you're my hero!
    Peachtree City, Ga Large BGE
  • great post, obviously on a change of meds or found a bottle in the back of the cupboard.....

    Delta B.C. - Move over coffee, this is job for alcohol!
  • Oh My God that is absolutely right!! I can't stop laughing. Holy crap!!!
    Huntsville, Al LBGE
  • Does she have a sister?

    the city above Toronto - Noodleville wtih 2 Large 1 Mini

  • WRAWRA Posts: 14
  • I just read it for the 3rd time. A Masterpiece.
    Huntsville, Al LBGE
  • EggcelsiorEggcelsior Posts: 14,015
    Henapple could retire from the forum now and forever remain the originator of the best thread ever. This may beat mangrates.

    (please don't retire)
  • caneggercanegger Posts: 540
    I know I'm new but that is the most likes I have ever seen and it is well earned I even showed the SWMBO and she liked it =D>
  • A+
  • Outstanding! Muchas gracias.
    "The Lowcountry" (Mt. Pleasant, SC) ~ LBGE
  • EggcelsiorEggcelsior Posts: 14,015
    pluffmud said:

    Muchas gracias.

    Great handle. Are you in/from Charleston?
  • GriffinGriffin Posts: 7,674

    That was fantabulous!!

    Just like my gasser, I got rid of my ex-wife and never looked back. Life is better with the Egg and the new SWMBO'ed.

    Rowlett, Texas

    Griffin's Grub or you can find me on Facebook

    The Supreme Potentate, Sovereign Commander and Sultan of Wings


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