Largest Animal for BGE

Ozzie_Isaac

What do you think the largest/most dangerous animal is that you could dispatch in a bare handed fight in order to cook on your BGE?

Langner91

Something slightly smaller/less dangerous than my ex-wife, obviously.  Since she got my first egg.

GrateEggspectations

Tree rat, but I might have to enjoy some fancy wine beforehand to help fuel my courage to wrangle with it. 

Ozzie_Isaac

I am pretty sure I could take a goose on.

GrateEggspectations

I had actually thought “oyster”, but then I remembered they’d have me squarely beat with their shells - you did say bare handed. Humans are physically weak AF. 

WeberWho

fishlessman

Buffalo in a goffer feild or off a cliff😁

JohnInCarolina

“Bare handed” definitely mixes things up a bit.  

I’m thinking kangaroo. 

fishlessman

GrateEggspectations said:

I had actually thought “oyster”, but then I remembered they’d have me squarely beat with their shells - you did say bare handed. Humans are physically weak AF. 

So....we could hunt the humans....

JohnInCarolina

WeberWho said:

JohnInCarolina said:

“Bare handed” definitely mixes things up a bit.  

I’m thinking kangaroo. 

I swear I had not seen that gif when I commented.  And also I do not wear plaid shirts.

lousubcap

A likely story right there!

Edit for emoji

ColtsFan

Definitely a turkey. Just one though, and not the entire rafter. 

alaskanassasin

I choked out a 200lb Great Pyrenees bare handed but I would not want to eat it, and had I finished it off I don’t think the in-laws would still be talking to me.

Jstroke

Wild Animal—if I have to catch it first barehanded I’ll go with Canada Goose. They don’t move really fast in the Kroger parking lot. 

Ozzie_Isaac

I don't think I would pick any Australian animal, except maybe a platypus.

Ozzie_Isaac

Jstroke said:

Wild Animal—if I have to catch it first barehanded I’ll go with Canada Goose. They don’t move really fast in the Kroger parking lot. 

And a goose will chase you too, so no need to get winded.

JohnInCarolina

Underrated: turtle

Canugghead

Jstroke said:

Wild Animal—if I have to catch it first barehanded I’ll go with Canada Goose. They don’t move really fast in the Kroger parking lot. 

Ya try walking near a mother goose's nest, don't ask how I know 

Ozzie_Isaac

Canugghead said:

Jstroke said:

Wild Animal—if I have to catch it first barehanded I’ll go with Canada Goose. They don’t move really fast in the Kroger parking lot. 

Ya try walking near a mother goose's nest, don't ask how I know 

My uncle rode a jet ski by a goose with geeslings.  That goose chased him for half the lake, beating him with its wings.

Ozzie_Isaac

JohnInCarolina said:

Underrated: turtle

No way you kill a snapping turtle barehanded.

JohnInCarolina

Ozzie_Isaac said:

Canugghead said:

Jstroke said:

Wild Animal—if I have to catch it first barehanded I’ll go with Canada Goose. They don’t move really fast in the Kroger parking lot. 

Ya try walking near a mother goose's nest, don't ask how I know 

My uncle rode a jet ski by a goose with geeslings.  That goose chased him for half the lake, beating him with its wings.

I’ve seen them take out entire platoons of the Khakistan army.  

JohnInCarolina

Ozzie_Isaac said:

JohnInCarolina said:

Underrated: turtle

No way you kill a snapping turtle barehanded.

Who mentioned snapping?  I ain’t messin with those things!

GrateEggspectations

Ozzie_Isaac said:

JohnInCarolina said:

Underrated: turtle

No way you kill a snapping turtle barehanded.

Jstroke said:

Wild Animal—if I have to catch it first barehanded I’ll go with Canada Goose. They don’t move really fast in the Kroger parking lot. 

Not to get too dark with this, but couldn’t you simply pick one up and drop it onto the asphalt? It’s not like it’s completely vicious, like a goose or something. 

Ozzie_Isaac

GrateEggspectations said:

Ozzie_Isaac said:

JohnInCarolina said:

Underrated: turtle

No way you kill a snapping turtle barehanded.

Jstroke said:

Wild Animal—if I have to catch it first barehanded I’ll go with Canada Goose. They don’t move really fast in the Kroger parking lot. 

Not to get too dark with this, but couldn’t you simply pick one up and drop it onto the asphalt? It’s not like it’s completely vicious, like a goose or something. 

Technically that would be using the earth as a weapon.

Seriously though, they are fast and can really turn quick and get you.  However, if you could actually grab it, you might be okay.  If you're toward the front half, their necks are long enough to bite you.

RRP

JohnInCarolina said:

Ozzie_Isaac said:

JohnInCarolina said:

Underrated: turtle

No way you kill a snapping turtle barehanded.

Who mentioned snapping?  I ain’t messin with those things!

John...I was raised in MO across the street from an AVID - (or should I say RABID!!!!) outdoor sportsman who hunted, fished, chased...whatever was out there! Mr Bell gave us a large snapping turtle which he had cleaned along with directions of how to cook that wonderful quite tasty meat. IT WAS TERRIFFiC!  Then the next weekend he brought us a huge VERY MUCH ALIVE and NASTY  snapper! He then instructed my Father step by step how to dress that turtle after nailing...yes I said, nailing that snapper to a tree through its tail and then cleaning it,

Soon thereafter Mr Bell took my Father and me to his favorite muddy creek to teach us just how to look for and catch a snapper without losing a digit or two!  My Dad got one! I never did...and soon thereafter Mr Bell died. I never again tried grabbing a "submerged digit remover"!

nolaegghead

I think most of us have grabbed some snapper in some form more than once.

RRP

nolaegghead said:

I think most of us have grabbed some snapper in some form more than once.

ah…digit removing twats…was not in my realm.

caliking

Ozzie_Isaac said:

Canugghead said:

Jstroke said:

Wild Animal—if I have to catch it first barehanded I’ll go with Canada Goose. They don’t move really fast in the Kroger parking lot. 

Ya try walking near a mother goose's nest, don't ask how I know 

My uncle rode a jet ski by a goose with geeslings.  That goose chased him for half the lake, beating him with its wings.

goslings

Dyal_SC

I was backing out of my driveway one day when I heard an enormous pop. Thought I had blown a tire. Got out to check and discovered I had run over a snapping turtle.  Blood, shells and egg yolks everywhere.  Then I saw them… little turtle shell specks.  Realized then that they were dang snapping turtle fetuses.  The heifer was pregnant with fertilized eggs. Felt bad but left it be for the raccoons to lick up. 

To answer your question, I think I could take on a wallaby. They’re a little bit smaller than a kangaroo. Sorta like a pony is to a horse. 

Gulfcoastguy

Ozzie_Isaac said:

I don't think I would pick any Australian animal, except maybe a platypus.

Male platypus have poisonous spurs. It won’t kill you but you will be in agony for weeks.

 I have caught and killed a Tom turkey. That was a fight and my right bicep was one big bruise.

Ozzie_Isaac

caliking said:

Ozzie_Isaac said:

Canugghead said:

Jstroke said:

Wild Animal—if I have to catch it first barehanded I’ll go with Canada Goose. They don’t move really fast in the Kroger parking lot. 

Ya try walking near a mother goose's nest, don't ask how I know 

My uncle rode a jet ski by a goose with geeslings.  That goose chased him for half the lake, beating him with its wings.

goslings

Not a Canadian Ryan.  Baby geese.