A Christmas poem - “Twas The Night Before Trump”.

SGH

Fellows, the holidays are almost upon us. This happens to be my very favorite time of the year. I look forward to it all year long every year. With that said, there is nothing more enjoyable than a good Christmas song, story or poem to set the mood. 
I would like to share a Christmas poem with all of my good, God fearing, conservative, Christian friends out there. I wish all of you a safe and Merry Christmas. I hope you enjoy this heart felt poem my friends. 

              “Twas The Night Before Trump”
             A Conservative Christmas Poem. 
Twas the night before Inauguration, and up in the tower,
The Donald reflected on his newfound power.
The conservative masses had come out in force,
And delivered a victory that would chart a new course.

The snowflakes were shell-shocked with tears in their eyes,
The media lied to them . . . What a surprise.
They had been promised a Hillary win,
But the criminal Clinton took one on the chin.

And though from all corners celebrities flew,
They made no impression, for they hadn’t a clue.
They talked about climate, racism, and such,
And they made up good stories . . . But didn’t know much.

The fake news and ignorance came at a cost,
And they can’t understand all the reasons they lost.
They blame it on Comey and Bernie and Vlad,
But fail to acknowledge the one that was bad.

Yes, Hillary Clinton, in many ways flawed,
Was her own biggest hurdle toward getting the nod.
The campaign exposed her corruptness and greed,
And her speeches were punch-less as ten dollar weed.

So out in the streets there arose such a clatter,
It was Soros-paid protestors and Black Lives Matter.
With cities to pillage and windows to smash,
They knew not the issues, but needed the cash.

Eight years of Obama had given them cause,
To expect a replacement of their Santa Claus.
But soon the protestors will feel the pain,
When the wheels fall off of the old gravy train.

And now all the snowflakes are riddled with fear,
Upset and offended by things that they’ll hear.
The cocoa and crayons will help for a while,
But fact-based opinions will soon cramp their style.

I originally supported, and voted, for Cruz,
In the end, I would vote for whoever they choose.
He wasn’t my first choice, but soon I would cede,
The one they call Trump is the one that we need.

I saw him on TV in front of a crowd,
He spoke about veterans, it made me feel proud.
He spoke about energy, safety, and jobs,
Taking this country back from the Washington snobs.

He was dressed in Armani, all tailored and neat,
And the Brunos he wore made the outfit complete.
For a man of his vintage, he seemed rather fit,
And he looked presidential, I have to admit.

His eyes glowed like embers, his smile was the best,
And his hair was the color of my old hunting vest.
His love for this country was on full display,
And his actions spoke louder than his words could say.

He thanked all his voters, and before he was gone,
Saved thousands of jobs while Obama looked on.
The fate of this country left nothing to chance,
So, he filled out his cabinet weeks in advance.

The men he had chosen were of the same mind,
Let’s set the bar high, and not lead from behind.
He picked up his phone as he rose from his seat,
With a flick of his finger, he sent out this tweet;
“Now Mattis!, now Kelly!’ now Sessions! And Pruitt!
On Perry! On Flynn, You’re the ones who can do it.
Start lifting restrictions and building the wall,
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”;

The roar of his audience rose from the stands,
He kissed all their babies and shook all their hands.
He answered their questions and calmed all their fears,
They knew it would be a fantastic four years.
Then he jumped in his limo, and off to his jet,
A fellow that Liberals won’t soon forget.
He sent one more tweet as the evening expired;
“Happy Inauguration to all,
AND OBAMA – YOU’RE FIRED!”

WeberWho

DoubleEgger

This is going to go over like a turd in the punch bowl. 

SGH

DoubleEgger said:

This is going to go over like a turd in the punch bowl. 

I’m just sharing a little Christmas poetry. No harm intended. Just trying to spread a little Christmas cheer my friend.  

thetrim

Poetry is my passion, and this was great!

DMW

TN_Egger

TLDR

SGH

thetrim said:

Poetry is my passion, and this was great!

Thank you brother Trim. I’m pretty passionate about songs and poems myself. Just a heads up, I have written a new Christmas song that I will be posting soon. Just got to finish the last verse. Keep an eye out for it. It will be titled “Glory, Glory Trumpelujah”. 

g8golfer

@SGH perfectly written 

ryantt

I feel the need to post a Clinton photo just for you @SGH

DMW

https://twitter.com/chunkled/status/1071593556274540544

JohnInCarolina

st¡ke

no intelligent person still believes in that idiot. 

Anyone still on his side is a:

-Republican senator (worried about irritating the uneducated hillbillies in his gerrymandered district)

-benefiting directly (as in, on a payroll or on staff). See: fox news (except maybe Tucker Carlson, who is jumping ship); Dana Boetsch (NRA); Don Jr., Ivanka, and their even dumber brother Eric.

-a witless Evangelical 

-or is an obese unemployed white man on disability from a red state and receiving more government support than anyone in a blue state (including brown homeless people) ever did 

other than that, sure

if your defense is that you are making more money under trump than you ever did, it's because you are in an industry that receives government assistance

because those of us who aren't receiving republican or democrat handouts, work hard and make a living regardless of the idiot in office

and trump is the single biggest idiot who ever occupied that office. 

But for most of the demographic on this forum, it's still better than being brown or female. 

Also. 

Merry Xmas!

PS: Just being a provocateur

but i am not too stupid to know that you did well under Obama and Clinton, that your forum character is a bit different than your real life persona, that you are also a provocateur, and that you aren't as ignorant or beholden to the "white southern bible thumper" cartoon character as you pretend to be

perpetuating the divide is reprehensible 

but anyone can do it. 

Would be better if people weren't so partisan, sure. But some of you really don't have any other thing to offer than that. 

This really used to be a much more less fruitcakier place. 

-z

SGH

@DMW
Honest question my friend. What do you think of my poem? You have always been one of my forum favorites and as such, I appreciate your thoughts and input my friend. 

DMW

SGH said:

@DMW
Honest question my friend. What do you think of my poem? You have always been one of my forum favorites and as such, I appreciate your thoughts and input my friend. 

Stylistically it is well structured. 

SGH

st¡ke said:

if your defense is that you are making more money under trump than you ever did, it's because you are in an industry that receives government assistance

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think that the government is giving Exxon/Mobil any assistance. If you know something that we don’t, then please, share it with us. The 86 billion profit this year came from upstream discoveries. Not from the government. But if you can prove me wrong, I will gladly stand corrected with hat in hand. 

JohnInCarolina

st¡ke said:

no intelligent person still believes in that idiot. 

Anyone still on his side is a:

-Republican senator (worried about irritating the uneducated hillbillies in his gerrymandered district)

-benefiting directly (as in, on a payroll or on staff). See: fox news (except maybe Tucker Carlson, who is jumping ship); Dana Boetsch (NRA); Don Jr., Ivanka, and their even dumber brother Eric.

-a witless Evangelical 

-or is an obese unemployed white man on disability from a red state and receiving more government support than anyone in a blue state (including brown homeless people) ever did 

other than that, sure

if your defense is that you are making more money under trump than you ever did, it's because you are in an industry that receives government assistance

because those of us who aren't receiving republican or democrat handouts, work hard and make a living regardless of the idiot in office

and trump is the single biggest idiot who ever occupied that office. 

But for most of the demographic on this forum, it's still better than being brown or female. 

Also. 

Merry Xmas!

PS: Just being a provocateur

but i am not too stupid to know that you did well under Obama and Clinton, that your forum character is a bit different than your real life persona, that you are also a provocateur, and that you aren't as ignorant or beholden to the "white southern bible thumper" cartoon character as you pretend to be

perpetuating the divide is reprehensible 

but anyone can do it. 

Would be better if people weren't so partisan, sure. But some of you really don't have any other thing to offer than that. 

This really used to be a much more less fruitcakier place. 

-z

JohnInCarolina

SGH said:

st¡ke said:

if your defense is that you are making more money under trump than you ever did, it's because you are in an industry that receives government assistance

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think that the government is giving Exxon/Mobil any assistance. If you know something that we don’t, then please, share it with us. The 86 billion profit this year came from upstream discoveries. Not from the government. But if you can prove me wrong, I will gladly stand corrected with hat in hand. 

Not all handouts come in the form of food stamps Scottie.

SGH

Fellows I don’t know where all this nonessential nonsense is coming from. I simply wanted to share a heart felt Christmas poem with all my forum friends. It’s the holidays, a time for sharing. My sincere intent was that y’all would enjoy it. 

JohnInCarolina

SGH said:

Fellows I don’t know where all this nonessential nonsense is coming from. I simply wanted to share a heart felt Christmas poem with all my forum friends. It’s the holidays, a time for sharing. My sincere intent was that y’all would enjoy it. 

SGH

JohnInCarolina said:

Not all handouts come in the form of food stamps Scottie.

That’s ^^^^^^ something that I know all to well my friend. 
On a happier note, what did you think of my poem my friend? Honest answer, critique my work if you will. 

lousubcap

Nothing more to be said here than Trump fired Rex Tillerson.  I believe he had quite a hand in the Exxon/Mobil enterprise.  FWIW-

JohnInCarolina

SGH said:

JohnInCarolina said:

Not all handouts come in the form of food stamps Scottie.

That’s ^^^^^^ something that I know all to well my friend. 
On a happier note, what did you think of my poem my friend? Honest answer, critique my work if you will. 

I’d be a lot more impressed with it had you written it yourself.

SGH

lousubcap said:

Nothing more to be said here than Trump fired Rex Tillerson.  I believe he had quite a hand in the Exxon/Mobil enterprise.  FWIW-

Trump fired Tillerson because he was crook. All CEO’s are crooks. Trump, being the honest man that he is would not stand for such shenanigans. 

DMW

lousubcap said:

Nothing more to be said here than Trump fired Rex Tillerson.  I believe he had quite a hand in the Exxon/Mobil enterprise.  FWIW-

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1071132880368132096

JohnInCarolina

SGH said:

lousubcap said:

Nothing more to be said here than Trump fired Rex Tillerson.  I believe he had quite a hand in the Exxon/Mobil enterprise.  FWIW-

Trump fired Tillerson because he was crook. All CEO’s are crooks. Trump, being the honest man that he is would not stand for such shenanigans. 

So you’re saying that crooks run Exxon?  Well, now you are sharing some original poetry, my friend.

JohnInCarolina

Legume

Wasn’t Trump CEO of TrumpCo?  

SGH

Well, so much for trying to wish y’all a Merry Christmas and sharing a little poetry. And to think, I really thought that we were all friends here. 

SGH

Legume said:

Wasn’t Trump CEO of TrumpCo?  

Yes sir he was. He was also probably the only honest CEO ever. He walks the straight and narrow and speaks only the truth. 

JohnInCarolina

SGH said:

Well, so much for trying to wish y’all a Merry Christmas and sharing a little poetry. And to think, I really thought that we were all friends here. 

Sure sure Scottie, we're all friends here.  We all know you were just trying to bring some good cheer to everyone, and not sh!tpost.  So I'm sure in that same spirit you won't mind if we share another such poem.  It's similar, but slightly more up to date!

Twas the night before Christmas, and in the White House
an old man sat brooding, ignored by his spouse.
With Fox and Friends on the TV a’blare,
except for Bob Mueller he hadn’t a care.

On overdone steak The Donald had fed
beside intel briefings he never had read.
As he sat in his bathrobe and red MAGA cap,
he whipped out his smartphone and opened an app.

“I never weigh in on such trivial matters,
But! Sad! Little Kim Jong has gotten much fatter.”
But then “Breaking News!” said the screen with a flash:
“Indictments are Coming; The Trump Train to Crash?”

The screen lit his face with an unholy glow,
as he shouted and swore and complained of his woe.
Then he called his advisors, and as they appeared
he demanded they tell him he’d nothing to fear.

But as he raved like a wild lunatic,
the downtrodden aides muttered, “God, what a ____!”
But then he grew calm and said “I know this game;
I’ll distract and I’ll scapegoat. I won’t take the blame.

Say ‘Fake News!’ Say ‘Emails!’ Say ‘Weak!’ for the quick spin!
Say ‘Clinton!’ Say ‘Comey!’ Say they’ve put the fix in!
And then I’ll say something so baffling to all–
–Like ‘Put solar panels all over my wall!’–

That they’ll scramble and stutter and won’t even try
to fact check and call out every one of my lies.”
And with the plan made, the advisers withdrew
to write up the memos and gather the crew;

Send them out to the shows to discount the proof–
(they don’t send Don Jr, you can’t trust that goof.)
Then they gathered to watch as Jake Tapper frowned,
said “Stop, KellyAnne, you look like a clown.

That claim’s just not true, you’re on the wrong foot.
This stuff that you’re slinging’s a horse’s output.”
Trump saw the try fail, said “I’ll need a new tack.
Now how can I blame this on someone who’s black?

There’s got to be some way this bad news to bury;
first Paul and now Flynn? They’ll sing like canaries!
They’ll tell the full story, the whole world will know:
I’m just a puppet in a Russian-run show.”

And now we all wait with held breath and clenched teeth.
We all know there’s no low Trump won’t go beneath.
It all a great farce, this “strength” that he’s selling–
He’s insulted our allies from London to Delhi.

He’s a bully who can’t keep his hands to himself,
and he brags (but he’s lying) about his own wealth.
Grievance and ego, they fill up his head,
and his tweets every morning are something to dread.

He golfs and he lies and won’t do any work;
why won’t they impeach this dotty old jerk?
But know that this madman we’ll always oppose,
and sooner or later his crimes we’ll expose.

And one last thing of note as I end this epistle:
The day will soon come when he’ll get his dismissal.
And to all the rest as we walk this dark night:
Good Holidays to all, and stay in the fight!