OT We call it football over here

CPFC1905

Foghorn said:

Your weekly write-ups are good stuff - especially to those of us across the pond.  Keep them coming.

Your observations seem spot on - even if the players don't always oblige.

Thanks @Foghorn that's kind of you.  

The way things are headed at the mighty Palace I am tempted to convert this to a Morris dancing thread (Google it).

Eoin

CPFC1905 said:

Foghorn said:

Your weekly write-ups are good stuff - especially to those of us across the pond.  Keep them coming.

Your observations seem spot on - even if the players don't always oblige.

Thanks @Foghorn that's kind of you.  

The way things are headed at the mighty Palace I am tempted to convert this to a Morris dancing thread (Google it).

Saw some yesterday in Lincoln. More fun than watching Stoke.

CPFC1905

Eoin said:

CPFC1905 said:

Foghorn said:

Your weekly write-ups are good stuff - especially to those of us across the pond.  Keep them coming.

Your observations seem spot on - even if the players don't always oblige.

Thanks @Foghorn that's kind of you.  

The way things are headed at the mighty Palace I am tempted to convert this to a Morris dancing thread (Google it).

Saw some yesterday in Lincoln. More fun than watching Stoke.

Hey Nonny Nonny, indeed.

Foghorn

I googled it and found a youtube video on Morris dancing, but the video just looked like Palace's defense hopping about.

Eoin

Foghorn said:

I googled it and found a youtube video on Morris dancing, but the video just looked like Palace's defense hopping about.

Best observation on Palace of the season so far. Hope @CPFC1905 quotes you on the Palace supporter's forum and gets some feedback.

CPFC1905

Hopping isn't the problem,  its the coordination we could do with more of. 

Acn

With Watford tied at the top of the table, I heard this statistic and just wanted to share.  Last season, they finished in 14th with 41 points.  Those 41 points came from 11 wins and 8 draws (and 19 losses).  The season before Leicester City won the league, they finished 14th with 41 points, from 11 wins and 8 draws.

Hmm... 

Eoin

In the old days, they didn't even produce a league table until a certain number of games into the season, as it doesn't tell you a great deal.  Look at Watford after 10 games and see how they're getting on.

CPFC1905

Eoin said:

In the old days, they didn't even produce a league table until a certain number of games into the season, as it doesn't tell you a great deal.  Look at Watford after 10 games and see how they're getting on.

Down with the Christmas decorations. 

CPFC1905

Welcome back footie fans - it’s been too long,  but we’re back back back.

Saturday witnesses unusually hectic fixture list;

Spurs host Liverpool, albeit not at their own home.  So an AIrBnB ‘come around to mine and lets play football’ kind of home fixture.  Builders, eh?  Drink all your tea, eat endless biscuits, leave your mugs all over the place and hang about for months.  

Potential cracker of a match but for reasons unfathomable, lunchtime kick-offs rarely are.  Got to be goals thought. Salah and Eriksen doing so would aid my point shy FF team, considerably & I have removed Vertonghen as a mitigation measure.   Similarly the Courts of Law have removed Loris from the driving seat of cars, for 20 months.  The idiot buffoon moron was caught drink-driving (DUI).  I am saying at least 3 goals, with 1-2 my instinct, but 5-4 is a close second.  Nil-Nil and I will be ‘miffed’.  And in England that’s really quite a thing.

 Leicester head to the seaside resort of Bournemouth and their mini-max stadium the size of four 2019 Sierra Denali’s parked close together. Man-boy Maguire will be accompanied by the skeletal terrier that is Vardy.  He’ll smell goals and I can see them sneaking a 2-1 away victory here.  Bournemouth have a very helpful habit of scoring late, so don’t be the farm on that result.

 Chelsea Cardiff can only go one way, for me.  As the principality’s capital city team comes to the real capital, I hope they stop for selfie next to a Guardsman and buy a toy red bus - as that’s all they will be taking home.

Palace head north to the frozen barren wastelands of Yorkshire.  Huddersfield await and its simple,  Zaha plays and we get something,  Zaha doesn’t play and I officially go from miffed to really quite disappointed. No-one needs to see that.

Well moneyed, frivolous star laden Man City host well moneyed frivolous (faded) star laden Fulham.  It will be tremendous fun.  Hopefully it is nil nil at half time and Man City get a proper shouting at and then mayhem occurs in the second half.  Can’t see Fulham getting much at all out of this one. Pick you own home victory score, it’ll probably be correct. 

The Magpies welcome Cockney Dandy’s ‘The Arsenal’.  What that translates to is; the furious Geordie Toon Army will split their venom equally between the club owner (Cockney Mafia man Mike Ashley) and the too-cool post-hipsters that play pretty football.  None of those mentioned are Cockneys, nor linked to the mafia in any way.   Newcastle could win, but they won’t. I just don't think they are good enough.  More likely is that Arsenal totally fail to finish any of their lovely moves with a goal.  In fact, that very much could happen.  

This seasons surge team and potential Leicester City are Watford.  No-one like Watford and I suspect few of the players genuinely know one another - but their brand of thuggery and mystery has been plenty so far.  Jose’s lads could get stuffed here if the defence continues to play as if they are all identically magnetised. (Not sure if that analogy is scientifically sound - just think repelling one another).  I think a goal in it, with the wretches of Watford stealing it 2-1. 

Elsewhere on Saturday, Stoke head to Sheffield Wednesday a team that decided suffixes like City, Rovers, Albion, Rangers were too mundane and so picked their hump-day of the week instead.  True story.  

The most exciting feature being that 6’7” robot Peter Crouch has a book out.  It’s very funny (according to the interviews he’s done, the reviews and his history of being very funny).  Buy it here https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Be-Footballer-Peter-Crouch/dp/1785039768/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536861127&sr=8-1&keywords=peter+crouch+book   or ask @Eoin for one of the many many copies he probably has already. 

 Sunday brings us

Wolves at home to Burnley.  The tale of two grim formerly industrial towns with teams enjoying a renaissance.  Wolves should win on recent performances, Burnley are now free of European nonsense.  I think they will soon regress to their average and begin to grind out draws.  Probably 1-0 to Wolves. 

Everton will be hoping for the increasingly hapless West Ham turn up, not the one that decides to respect Pellegrini and play decent football.   I really need Pickford to keep a clean sheet though. If West Ham suddenly find form I might reach the barley explored heights of rather disappointed (US translation : fully postal). In which case 2-2 feels about right.  I anticipate more balanced forecasters seeing a home win. 

Monday finishes things off with 

Southampton v Brighton 

Hard to choose my least favourite here.  Saints had the temerity to beat the Zaha-less Palace with the swagger of any sentient and ambulant human relieving a sleeping new-born of ‘candy’.  I hope they lose.  As to Brighton I hope they also lose at least 100 - nil (you know the rest)  Whilst this is totally impossible, if a man can’t dream what can he do?   Could well be a draw, though.  

 

Eoin

I can foresee the Crouch book in my Christmas stocking. It might even be discounted by then. Can't wait for the biopic, it's going to be a blockbuster.

CPFC1905

Eoin said:

I can foresee the Crouch book in my Christmas stocking. It might even be discounted by then. Can't wait for the biopic, it's going to be a blockbuster.

Will Smith or Tom Cruise in the lead role?

Eoin

CPFC1905 said:

Eoin said:

I can foresee the Crouch book in my Christmas stocking. It might even be discounted by then. Can't wait for the biopic, it's going to be a blockbuster.

Will Smith or Tom Cruise in the lead role?

Me, obviously.

CPFC1905

Can't believe it's going stay 1-0,  hopefully Mo' (or Eriksen) will get at least one each for the sake of my FF team. 

CPFC1905

Still early but patterns are now forming;
Spurs are at risk of flat-lining.  They signed no new players and are unsettled by the stadium situation,  a familiar tale in north London.  They are at risk of 'doing and Arsenal' and flatlining.   The story pre-season was; new stadium, ease in to CL, then probably sell Kane - and regenerate with or without Poch' at the helm.  Not happening though, is it?

Liverpool really are contenders.

Something tells me that Puel at Leicester might not see 2019 as manager.  They are an odd team and frankly all the time Vardy and Schmeichel are there, its going to be tough for any manager.  Bournemouth got their admin done early and will probably settle in to a rhythm that averages more than a point a game and stay safe.  Pleasurable seeing both team kick lumps off each other though. 

Chelsea are undergoing a renaissance with Sari, which is nice. Cardiff look way out of their depth. 

Zaha plays, Zaha scores and Palace's other players just about kept Huddersfield out, probably be the same next week.  Huddersfield will continue to struggle.

Arsenal look like 'regressing to the mean' and even now look like they will flirt with the top six all season.   Newcastle best player is still their manager and for reasons unknown continue to hang about while everyone else at the club continues in style of a fly confronted by a closed window. 

Would the real Man Utd please stand up?  Enough in the tank to ease past early pretenders Watford who just look like they are punching above their weight.  History points at them starting well, getting safe and fading. 

The table is already becoming distended by Liverpool, Man City (& Watford's) string starts and the weakness of Cardiff & Huddersfield.  I think West Ham will stabilise and certainly Burnley will too.  Newcastle might not.  

Stoke have found their scoring boots in the Championship.  @Eoin will be disappointed that wee-Barry Bannan summoned his annual great goal to steal a point. 

CPFC1905

Stand by your beds - much footie action tomorrow.  This will be the first round of PL matches after the CL and Europa League have sprung to life.  Without question this impairs some teams, with fatigue accelerating and weaker squads struggling to cover all the bases.  Spurs might as well give up now, then.

A London(ish) derby launches us in to Game Week 6 - as absolutely no-one calls it.   Fulham is in London, Watford isn’t - but is easily commutable and within the M25.  Geography aside, this could actually be a good test for the dirty Hornets. They got a learning last week from Jose’s lads and before that would have seen this as 3 points in the bag.  I think Fulham now see it that way.  Fulham will concede but might outscore Watford.  That would be nice.

Lets be honest, Burnley Bournemouth is hardly El Classico.  If you want to know what Northerners sound like, go to YouTube and listen to Sean Dyche talk.  Eddie Howe at Bournemouth is the PL’s longest serving manager at the same club. YouTube him and you’ll wonder if he started the job while at school.  As to the match; its a draw, probably nil all.

Cardiff play hosts Man City.  Away win.  Er - that’s all I got.

Palace return to their ‘pointless’ home and welcome the furious Geordies.  Gloomily I read that the experts are predicting a Palace win.  If you ever needed to boost your pension, bet on a Newcastle win.  I dropped Zaha from my FF team last week - shows what I know.  In a similar vein I have sold Milivojevic and invested in Jorginho of Chelsea - working on the theory he will also now score and Palace win.  Because that's how football works.  If Zaha is not smashed to bits early and the fans cease their ‘singing strike’ - all will be splendid around Croydon.  The Toon Army will have yet another reason to hate all ‘Cockneys”, of which there are none who support Palace.

Leicester Huddersfield is intriguing.  The Foxes got stuffed last week and decided that reducing their playing (and coaching) contingent mid-game was the way forward.  It wasn’t but it nearly worked.  They are a bit rudderless at the moment and Puel is an odd fish to say the least.  Sooner or later the changing room bullies will have him sacked, I suspect.  Huddersfield need to seize points here, or the season really will be very very long.

Liverpool will beat Southampton.  Hopefully the CL adventure has not damped the Scousers joie de vivre, but in any case Southampton are in the knack of giving away leads.  The Reds can ‘take 45’ in the first half and still win, in my opinion.  

Jose describes his bunch of expensive lads as all being friends again.  Certainly the winning ways are back in vogue at Capitalism HQ. But - Wolves have shown more than a little pluck and already no-one is predicting their relegation.  Could be a much fun 7 goal thriller.  Or Utd could just play to their potential and get an easy 2-0.

Poor, sad, sickly, homeless, moribund Spurs head past my house on the way to Brighton in the late kick-off.  While resting Alli, Tirppier and Alderweireld mid-week might have helped,  losing so late will not have.  Kane needs a week off, frankly so may be Moura from the start?  Brighton snuck back against Southampton last week, therefore they think they’re great.  They aren’t - Southampton gave it away.  Nice to see octogenarian tax-shy goal-hanger Glenn Murray still playing though.  The one-time Palace legend is flinty character, fancy him to get another goal this week.  I’d love a Spurs win - but it feels a step too far for them.  (See I cannot even type Brighton to win, it pains me so much.  Oh wait - aaaaaaagh)

Stoke host Blackburn this week in a fixture redolent of Alan Shearer & Tony Pulis’ glory days in the mind of @Eoin  

Unless Stoke can make a lead stick, this has drawn stamped all over it. Crouchy needs few headlines to shift his book, perhaps a virtuoso selection of towering headers and a ‘good feet for big lad’ swivel and shoot type goals?

Sunday simultaneously concludes both the weekend and the fixture list. With diabolical timing, the resurgent West Ham host Chelsea.  Thing is that Everton were truly awful last week and ‘even’ West Ham beat them.  I doubt they will find Chelsea so accommodating and although putting up a fight, will get beat.  

Arsenal slide silently and delicately in to Everton’s view, in the last game of this set.  Whisper it but I think Arsenal are getting their mojo back.  It’s even becoming feasible that the Arsenal fans will make an audible demonstration of support if things continue this way on Sunday.  Everton can’t be worse than last week - but they could be the same.  Don’t see past the Goonners taking all three points.  As highlander said, ‘there can be only one North London club’ and it looks like normality is returning with Spurs struggling for form.   On reflection, I think Zoolander would be more appropriate for Arsenal.   Strong cheek-bones, all of them. 

Foghorn

Nice summary.  I think Leicester will bounce back.  And I won't be surprised if Man U squeak out a 1-0 win.  

CPFC1905

Foghorn said:

Nice summary.  I think Leicester will bounce back.  And I won't be surprised if Man U squeak out a 1-0 win.  

Quite probably Leicester have enough to get past Huddersfield, but something's not right there.  With you re; Man U.

Eoin

Oh for a bit of Pulis defensive solidity, gone are the days when 1 goal was enough for Stoke to register a win.

RockyTopDW

I'm currently watching Watford vs Fulham.  I just got a 9lb pork butt on the egg for today's annual Vols vs Gators battle royale.  I'm a LFC fan, but Watford is super fun to watch.  I've got a weakness for the underdog, being a Bucs, & Browns fan (plus the Vols, since '98 which I hate to admit).  I'll miss LFC today due to coaching my son's soccer match.  

CPFC1905

RockyTopDW said:

I'm currently watching Watford vs Fulham.  I just got a 9lb pork butt on the egg for today's annual Vols vs Gators battle royale.  I'm a LFC fan, but Watford is super fun to watch.  I've got a weakness for the underdog, being a Bucs, & Browns fan (plus the Vols, since '98 which I hate to admit).  I'll miss LFC today due to coaching my son's soccer match.  

Hope the butt goes well.  Post pictures here later - plus a full account of your lad's match. 

Eoin

What utter sh1te we are. Not only going 3 nil down, but then missing a late penalty for the equaliser.

CPFC1905

Eoin said:

What utter sh1te we are. Not only going 3 nil down, but then missing a late penalty for the equaliser.

I have hit agree in the spirit of solidarity, not the descriptor of your team.  At least Sadio's scoring.  

Snooze fest at our place.   Hard to be disappointed though given we are 5 points off 18th which is indeed dizzy heights at this point of the season.

Foghorn

I love that we've expanded to include the Championship (thanks to @Eoin and Stoke) in our discussion.  It makes me realize how good relegation is for the sport.  I wish we had it in US sports.  The LA Clippers deserved to be relegated out of the NBA for decades...

I didn't get to see the Man U game, but at this point I guess I'm glad.

Eoin

Foghorn said:

I love that we've expanded to include the Championship (thanks to @Eoin and Stoke) in our discussion.  It makes me realize how good relegation is for the sport.  I wish we had it in US sports.  The LA Clippers deserved to be relegated out of the NBA for decades...

I didn't get to see the Man U game, but at this point I guess I'm glad.

Might be expanding again to include League 1 next season.

Foghorn

Eoin said:

Foghorn said:

I love that we've expanded to include the Championship (thanks to @Eoin and Stoke) in our discussion.  It makes me realize how good relegation is for the sport.  I wish we had it in US sports.  The LA Clippers deserved to be relegated out of the NBA for decades...

I didn't get to see the Man U game, but at this point I guess I'm glad.

Might be expanding again to include League 1 next season.

Ever the realist.

RockyTopDW

Well, I didn't take any pics of the butt.  it turned out great (it has to be the absolute easiest cook on the bge).   my son's game was decent.  some how I always get kids from families that don't fully commit to this sport and am constantly left with only 1 or 0 subs.  our usual GK was out of town, so I was forced with the decision of who to put in goal.  I went with my CDM.  he did okay.  my cb decided to help on the left sideline about half way through the first half, which lead to an easy break away down the middle.  the opposing team's striker dribble unscathed to the penalty spot and slotted home the goal to the bottom left.  on to the second half....my son, playing LF, starts a give & go with the CAM, speeds past the RB and fires the ball in the top of the net.  30 seconds later, the opposing team scores a cheap goal that deflects and trickles in for a 2-1 lead.  my kids are getting tired & I'm constantly spurring them on. the lack of subs is taking its toll.  all of a sudden the CAM intercepts the ball and expertly sends it up to the RF.  the RF crosses to my son (LF) and he rips it into the top left corner!  the game is tied!  we have about 4 minutes left and I'm pushing my team as hard as possible from the side.  we had 2 corners in extra time, but couldn't finish. the match ended in a 2-2 draw. overall, our team extremely well.  we had @12 shots, with 8 on goal.  we hit 3 posts.  with a little more patience on the ball and another sub, I think we'll be fine.   unfortunately, I wasn't able to catch LFC's match, but would rather watch/coach my son than watch anything!

proud father moment: this makes 4 goals in 2 games for my boy!

CPFC1905

RockyTopDW said:

Well, I didn't take any pics of the butt.  it turned out great (it has to be the absolute easiest cook on the bge).   my son's game was decent.  some how I always get kids from families that don't fully commit to this sport and am constantly left with only 1 or 0 subs.  our usual GK was out of town, so I was forced with the decision of who to put in goal.  I went with my CDM.  he did okay.  my cb decided to help on the left sideline about half way through the first half, which lead to an easy break away down the middle.  the opposing team's striker dribble unscathed to the penalty spot and slotted home the goal to the bottom left.  on to the second half....my son, playing LF, starts a give & go with the CAM, speeds past the RB and fires the ball in the top of the net.  30 seconds later, the opposing team scores a cheap goal that deflects and trickles in for a 2-1 lead.  my kids are getting tired & I'm constantly spurring them on. the lack of subs is taking its toll.  all of a sudden the CAM intercepts the ball and expertly sends it up to the RF.  the RF crosses to my son (LF) and he rips it into the top left corner!  the game is tied!  we have about 4 minutes left and I'm pushing my team as hard as possible from the side.  we had 2 corners in extra time, but couldn't finish. the match ended in a 2-2 draw. overall, our team extremely well.  we had @12 shots, with 8 on goal.  we hit 3 posts.  with a little more patience on the ball and another sub, I think we'll be fine.   unfortunately, I wasn't able to catch LFC's match, but would rather watch/coach my son than watch anything!

proud father moment: this makes 4 goals in 2 games for my boy!

Good result all around!

I became too emotionally invested watching my lad play sport. He played a lot of rugby but a knee injury in January means he is now confined to coaching and referee - he's qualified in both to a good standard.   Not a terrible outcome because I always thought he was a better leader than player.  Plus as a forward I always feared a neck injury.

I hope your season continues well.  Parental engagement is the constant flaw in junior sports.  The best part is the bond that lads form playing sport,  they tend to last longer than school or neighbourhood buddies in my experience. 

In slightly related news, SWMBO has just consented to me cooking pork on my birthday in November.   I will now invest many hours in cut-choice, cook style and internal temperature threads plus countless YouTube videos. 

Foghorn

Thanks for the game recap.  I remember those days well. 

They came to a grinding halt when my kids starting injuring ACLs. But the memories and life lessons learned from football will carry with them. 

CPFC1905

More or less as expected, other than Burnley finding their scoring boots.   

Huddersfield and Cardiff must be a little concerned,  certainly the former will have expected more return by now, reaching for the Allardyce button? Wolves look very much nailed on for mid-table already. 

Spurs eased past Brighton - but a text-book Kane penalty doesn't fully hide the cracks for me. 

Palace need to find a goal-scorer, immediately.  The last minute miss from Sakho sums things up at the moment.   The only ray of light is that there is an end in sight for the 'singing strike' with some of the fans. 

I should gave factored in the curse of Sunday lunchtime.  there has never, ever been an exciting early start on a Sunday.  Irksome that Chelsea couldn't even have found one goal. 

However, there was a hat-trick for Saido Berahnio at Stoke. Sadly for @Eoin it is a hat-trick of babies by different mothers all arriving inside six weeks of each other. And he scored on Saturday too (then missed a penalty).  Busy time for Mr Berahino after what we all thought was a barren spell of 674 days (in front of goal). 

On to the 'Carabao Cup'.   Many years ago it was called the League Cup and meant something.  To be frank it meant 'not quite the FA Cup'.  Back then two half-season duration cup competitions were necessary to satiate the fans.  Now, though, the top teams have other things to think about - mainly the absolute financial cliff edge of relegation from the Premier League.   This week's more or lees pointless matches are being used as a bit of a test bed for VAR (again) - but otherwise the matches and results will pass unobserved.   PL and EFL teams will play squad members to mitigate injury risk.  The mangers of losing PL & EFL teams will try hard to look disappointed.