Just out of curiosity do any of you have a secret family recipe that you do not share?

JustineCaseyFeldown

Betting that sometimes it is because the recipe is so simple, or copied off a muffin box, or not nearly as complicated as people imagine it, that the cook would be embarrassed if everyone found out.

from personal experience, I find it sort of funny that my family and friends will always talk about my spare or loin ribs (we have been doing them off and on for July 4th for years) as though they are some sort of secret recipe.

Truth is, I make the rub up with a similar base, but the amounts and other ingredients are always different.  I am not one that is given to replicating the same thing over and over.  I find it more interesting to play around and experiment or just not worry too much about 1/8 tsp of such-n-such a spice.

Which means the ribs are 'different' each time.  Bu they are pork, smoked, and always pretty good (sometimes great, sometimes it gets away from me).

It's the people sharing the food and hanging out and drinking a few beers that make the difference.

I would be flattered if my kids went digging through my books and notes to find "dad's rib recipe", but if they ask, i'll tell them the secret isn't what you make it with, it's who you eat it with.

Theophan

Fred19Flintstone said:

A few Christmases ago, my sister took my Mom's recipe book, transcribed it in MS Word and printed copies for everyone in the family.  My Aunt's lemon bars recipe is not shared outside the family.  I honor that.

If it's a family tradition, and it's important to those who shared the recipe with you that you not share it outside the family, I'm with you on honoring their wishes.  We're all different, we all have our own views about things, and I respect your choice not to stomp on others' wishes by insisting on your own way.

It seems too bad, though, in other ways.  I love to cook, and I get the idea that it's fun to cook a dish others love, and to get oohs and ahhs when you serve it, and that it might seem like a loss of that pleasure if "everybody knows how to cook it, now."  And maybe if it turns out that it was a standard recipe from the newspaper or a non-fancy cookbook, it might seem to have lost a bit of its magic.  But it seems ungenerous not to share if people ask, and I strongly agree with those others who said it won't be the same, anyway, if other people cook it.  Different people in different kitchens with different cooking experience and techniques can try to follow the same recipe, and by gosh they'll all be different.

I don't care about lemon bars, so I'm not at all trying to push you not to honor your family's tradition.  But it seems too bad to me that your aunt is being honored by depriving others of something they'd enjoy having, instead of being honored by lots and lots of people loving Aunt Tilly's Lemon Bars (or whatever her name is/was).  Again, I agree with you on honoring the family's wishes, but it might be an interesting thing to feel them out about if it comes up again in the future, and see if they might change their minds.

Legume

People are weird.  Nobody here in particular, just weird in general.

Dredger

True story. A few years back, daughter brought a cheese ball to Christmas dinner. Now, I'm sure many of you that cook a massive dinner don't usually partake of much of it. Hubby tried her cheese ball and wanted the recipe, which she was more than happy to share. Fast forward to this year to my last eye surgery. I wanted to make a "gift" to the staff in the way of a couple of cheese balls and used her recipe. They tagged my file requesting the recipe on their follow up call. I was in a hurry and opened up the software I use to create my recipes. Guess what? Yep, it was one of mine that I had published in 2013. How soon you forget, but then, I'm old. Just goes to show that they do pay attention.

dogoffo

I always share mine whether they like it or not.

JustineCaseyFeldown

fun fact: you can't copyright a recipe, the actual list of ingredients.

perhaps people fear someone making millions off their great idea.

like Mr . Krabs

Legume

I would imagine that for every secret family recipe out there, an effectively identical recipe exists somewhere in the public realm as well as locked away in other families as 'secret'

everyone wants to feel special and I would imagine some would be horrified if they gave out their recipe and someone else added peanut butter and actually improved it - the horror!

Legume

scratch that, I meant add bacon.

NPHuskerFL

The "secret" family recipes are often lost over the years simply because they don't spend time with each other. 

JustineCaseyFeldown said:

I would be flattered if my kids went digging through my books and notes to find "dad's rib recipe", but if they ask, i'll tell them the secret isn't what you make it with, it's who you eat it with.

^^^ Totally man. Totally. 

Fred19Flintstone

pgprescott said:

Fred19Flintstone said:

A few Christmases ago, my sister took my Mom's recipe book, transcribed it in MS Word and printed copies for everyone in the family.  My Aunt's lemon bars recipe is not shared outside the family.  I honor that.

Why? What could it possibly harm? Is there a business involved? I just find it sort of weird and narcissistic. 

Right or wrong, I observe the family tradition.  That's why.

pgprescott

Fred19Flintstone said:

pgprescott said:

Fred19Flintstone said:

A few Christmases ago, my sister took my Mom's recipe book, transcribed it in MS Word and printed copies for everyone in the family.  My Aunt's lemon bars recipe is not shared outside the family.  I honor that.

Why? What could it possibly harm? Is there a business involved? I just find it sort of weird and narcissistic. 

Right or wrong, I observe the family tradition.  That's why.

Fair enough. I know plenty of people that do the same. No big deal, of course. I just don't think that way at all. Never have, never will,

pgprescott

In many counties, they fire guns up in the air to celebrate certain things as a tradition. I won't be doing that either.

Kayak

Judging by what you see in most recipe sites, you wouldn't have much to worry about. "Your secret family recipe? It's wonderful, but I substituted ham for the chicken, left out the sugar because I don't like it, and used soy milk instead of cows because we don't use that." The secret will be safe.

DoubleEgger

I have a recipe that I accepted from a woman 17 years ago under the pretense that I never give it away. I haven't seen her in 14 years but still haven't given it out. I am a man of my word. Period. 

sheetmetalpete

JustineCaseyFeldown said:

Betting that sometimes it is because the recipe is so simple, or copied off a muffin box, or not nearly as complicated as people imagine it, that the cook would be embarrassed if everyone found out.

That's pretty spot on in my family's case.  My grandma had a "secret" BBQ sauce recipe.  She made and served it regularly but wouldn't tell anyone how she made it.  When a bartender in town sampled some at a fire department banquet he had to have some.  Grandma traded with him instead of divulging her recipe and made my mom (as a little girl) walk down the street carrying a couple jars of sauce to trade for a bottle of booze.

A few years before grandma passed away she told us that she got the recipe out of a magazine in the late 1950's.  Only then did she share it with the family.

Legume

DoubleEgger said:

I have a recipe that I accepted from a woman 17 years ago under the pretense that I never give it away. I haven't seen her in 14 years but still haven't given it out. I am a man of my word. Period. 

It has to be good too, right?  I mean, man of your word and all, if you don't make it or nobody asks for it...

But good for you, same as @Fred19Flintstone you've got to respect the request.

JustineCaseyFeldown

when i was about 6, i asked a woman in a hair net at a cubscout pancake breakfast in 1972 what her secret was for the pancakes, and she said "follow the recipe on the bisquick box". 

pardon me, but the scout oath stands for something, and to this day have never revealed her secret.  i am a man of my word, and that makes me morally superior to the rest of you who shared, and who, apparently, are NOT men of your word.

nolaegghead

"to this day" - got that right.

ColtsFan

I'll share any family recipe that I have. I have a tin of recipes that were my grandmothers. I believe in sharing good food

fishlessman

no sharing my secret family wing recipe, i call it cazzy's sticky wings its a secret

Fred19Flintstone

pgprescott said:

In many counties, they fire guns up in the air to celebrate certain things as a tradition. I won't be doing that either.

You can't equate the two.  Shooting bullets in the air is dangerous.  Keeping my aunt's lemon bar recipe a secret is not dangerous.  It's the proverbial apples v. oranges thing.

pgprescott

Fred19Flintstone said:

pgprescott said:

In many counties, they fire guns up in the air to celebrate certain things as a tradition. I won't be doing that either.

You can't equate the two.  Shooting bullets in the air is dangerous.  Keeping my aunt's lemon bar recipe a secret is not dangerous.  It's the proverbial apples v. oranges thing.

I'm just being a D*** head. I don't really care Fred. Sorry for the BS.

JustineCaseyFeldown

that lemon bar recipe is pretty provocative.  i don't recommend it, nsfwe and all, but it can be found by googling "lemon party"

RRP

I fix a beef, sausage, cheese, jalapeños and some other ingredients into a heavy dip served warm with tortilla chips. We received from a deceased friend years ago and never have thought of it as a secret recipe. We call it Texas Dip.

I fixed it for my cousin in AZ back in the early 70's. She and her husband loved it so much that they just had to have the recipe so I gave it to them. Then over the next 40 years before they died that was "their secret family recipe" that they made for all the parties they threw and they threw a lot! Their daughter inherited that recipe and has told me how she is guarding that recipe of "ours" as well as her Mother did!   

nolaegghead

Ron, will you share your "recipe" for gluing the fiberglass gasket on the egg?  Right here, right now!!!

JustineCaseyFeldown

nolaegghead said:

Ron, will you share your "recipe" for gluing the fiberglass gasket on the egg?  Right here, right now!!!

yes.  use the permatex that stike originally recommended back when everyone was using the crappy rutland adhesive (which admittedly was designed for steel, not ceramic).

RRP

nolaegghead said:

Ron, will you share your "recipe" for gluing the fiberglass gasket on the egg?  Right here, right now!!!

sure - but only in Spanish! no dana sensors de oxygen formador de juntas silicon rev alta temperatura. 

Carolina Q

JustineCaseyFeldown said:

nolaegghead said:

Ron, will you share your "recipe" for gluing the fiberglass gasket on the egg?  Right here, right now!!!

yes.  use the permatex that stike originally recommended back when everyone was using the crappy rutland adhesive (which admittedly was designed for steel, not ceramic).

Wait. That was stikes secret recipe?! ISTR Ron always claimed it as his!

JustineCaseyFeldown

i don't think RRP claimed it as his idea. fwiw. no need to give him any grief.

the switch from the rutland cement to permatex did surprise me though, because the rutland was long defended, with much discussion about thorough mixing and making note of the date stamp on the tube, etc.

i'm just lazy.  when it failed, and failed again, i didn't go looking or a fresh tube, i went to the sealants section of the local ace hardware and looked for high temp silicon adhesive.  they had a couple, but the gasket makers (copper) was rated highest, at 600.  i bought it and figured what the heck.  worth a shot.  wasn't worried about ""chemicals!!. (no "fume pansy" here.)

i used it to adhere my rutland after the rutland cement failed.  i actually tore the rutland off, did not bother to clean the rim, and reused the same rutland gasket (with the brittle cement still attached).  i toothpasted one bead around the rim.  no notching, no squiggles.  just a bead.  and plopped the gasket back down.

lo and behold the permatex held.  and held.  and held. maybe ten years now? i dunno.

i recommended (back then) it whenever the topic came up, but haven't been involved in the "what should i use to adhere my gasket" discussion in years. and i was not really proselitysing.  i'd just toss it out as a "or you might try..." 

there was a guy who made his own gasket out of nothing but the permatex, at or about the time i used the same stuff to adhere the rutland.  but i think we came to the same conclusion from different approaches.

EDIT:

 THIS was the guy who in 2005 (before me)  used permatex alone.  a couple others have done it since.

can't find mine, but i think mine was later

EDIT2:  FOUND IT.  I don't think this is my first post on the permatex, but i say here i 'recently' did it.  there are defenders of the faith (the rutland adhesive) weighing in too.  special guest appearance (rare!) by a BGE mothership customer service manager, who pooh-pooh-s the rutland entirely. all good though. 

Legume

I'm really glad that's cleared up.  Now where the f*ck is that lemon bar recipe someone promised!