OT - The Fortune Cookie Has Spoken!

Fred19Flintstone

I showed this to my boss and she laughed and laughed. She composed herself and then laughed some more.


Have you gotten a funny fortune cookie?

BigWader

We always finish the fortune cookie by adding "in bed"

Maybe you've got skills!!

nolaegghead

BigWader said:

We always finish the fortune cookie by adding "in bed"

Maybe you've got skills!!

More apropos if it said "...for a raise."

Fred19Flintstone

nolaegghead said:

BigWader said:

We always finish the fortune cookie by adding "in bed"

Maybe you've got skills!!

More apropos if it said "...for a raise."


Hmmmmmmm... :-?

nolaegghead

Just trying to be funny, nothing directed at you Fred. 

"You will be the next in life for a raise...in bed".

SenecaTheYounger

I can't be the only one.  Isn't it "...next in line for...."?

nolaegghead

SenecaTheYounger said:

I can't be the only one.  Isn't it "...next in line for...."?

Engrish

sic erat scriptum

edit - the suggestion there's a line may actually upset Fred.   Again, not implying anything just having fun here, no harm intended.

Fred19Flintstone

Engrish

sic erat scriptum

edit - the suggestion there's a line may actually upset Fred.   Again, not implying anything just having fun here, no harm intended.


I'm not intending to upset you or cause you any harm, but BITE ME nola.

Eggcelsior

Watch out, dude has cats. Those mfers will cut a beeotch.

Fred19Flintstone

Not worried.  I may not live in a tough neighborhood, but I work in them.  If you ain't got a ferocious pit bull that will tear you to pieces, you ain't got sh!t!

NPHuskerFL

Don't have a Pit Bull nor am I frightened of dogs period. But, the image you posted is unfortunately why this breed has been targeted for systematic elimination because quote unquote they are to dangerous. The dog is not dangerous it's the dumb mfers that have no control over their animal. I have been around MWDs, KNPV, PSA, Ringsport for many years and have seen some of the best and they are ferocious but under control 100% of the time . The idiots that have destroyed this particular breed you've pictured here should never be allowed with any dog PERIOD! Sorry if that is OT but, uneducated, ignorant, thug wanna be morons don't get my respect. And I sure as $#i+ don't fear them.
Edit: this was not directed at you Fred and in no way trying to disrespect you. It strikes a nerve when I see a powerful dog in the hands of a complete and utter DB thug. Because I know no good will come of it.

henapple

I recently researched this and the high majority of dog attacks are from rots. My neighbor has a ringport that has bitten two children. ..Both in their yard so they refuse to get rid of it. Dogs, any dog is an animal and to some degree can't be trusted...especially around kids. A mini schnauzer can't kill...A rottweiler can. I'm not saying it's a bad breed but if one approached my kids I'd be ready to react.

Fred19Flintstone

For work I have to go to rough neighborhoods.  For every dog of any other breed out there, there are 200 pit bulls.  They are for protection as well as status and power symbols for all to see.  I don't like it because I have a couple of dogs (some sort of hound mix and Wilma's yorkie).

I had to go to a farm last week and they had the biggest rot I've ever seen and there was only a screen door between us.  I'm pretty sure I crapped myself.

NPHuskerFL

@henapple‌ are you saying children wandered in his yard that weren't his (apparently not very secure)?
If you get on my property it's because I have allowed your entry or you have broken locks and a hydraulic cattle gate to get in. I have made it difficult to get on my property for that very reason. My property being secure does several things...protects our family including my Lili Ann from uninvited people, protects people from getting bit, and we have signs clearly posted to warn. I no longer have KNPV dogs but, I do have the same breed. She would likely kill somebody with kindness and a squeaking tennis ball or Kong before she'd ever hurt a person. But, she has had some previous training and because I don't trust people I don't chance it (6' fence and invisible fencing). I trust my dog. I don't trust people. And I 100% Agree with you in that ANY dog can bite, could be prey drive, could be that person is just a DB and is up to no good. But, truthfully if you break into my property or home you'd better pray my dog gets you first. And just for the record in 20+ yrs I've never had a problem (but, it only takes once and I never want a child or adult harmed that doesn't deserve it).

NPHuskerFL

Fred19Flintstone said:

For work I have to go to rough neighborhoods.  For every dog of any other breed out there, there are 200 pit bulls.  They are for protection as well as status and power symbols for all to see.  I don't like it because I have a couple of dogs (some sort of hound mix and Wilma's yorkie).

I had to go to a farm last week and they had the biggest rot I've ever seen and there was only a screen door between us.  I'm pretty sure I crapped myself.

What line of work Fred?

Fred19Flintstone

I appraise commercial, industrial and agricultural real estate.

grege345

I wanted a rotty but my homeowner insurance was gonna go up. So I got a frisbee dog. Some people have ruined breeds and their reputations. I agree with you @NPHuskerFL‌

NPHuskerFL

@Fred19Flintstone‌ okay I smell whatcha are steppin in there. I'm sure that can put ya into some very vulnerable situations.

henapple

Fred is a pimp. The neighbor's dog is behind an invisible fence. The other kids were just playing there...He approached them and suddenly bit. Both had teeth marks. No one let's their kids there anymore. Surprisingly the guy's a police officer. Like I said. .dogs are merely animals. I can get my mini schnauzer to growl and snap...she's 11 lbs. An animal can turn at any time. Research the dog attacks...rottweilers are the main culprit. I have absolutely nothing against them..it's just facts.

NPHuskerFL

@whoah! Shut the front door! :-O did I get this right neighbor has a Ringsport pooch and ONLY has Invisible Fencing (NO Physical fence as well)? :-q
I have a 6' chainlink but, ALL & I do mean ALL of the Malinois' I've owned could clear it if they wanted. So we had the Invisible Fence installed as a DOUBLE safety.

Fred19Flintstone

henapple said:

Fred is a pimp. 

Me at my "other job".

Focker

While staying at my buddy's meemaws in Independence, MO(one of the roughest spots in KC)...I saw a pitbull run, jump, and lockjaw a treelimb the thickness of a human arm at least 6 feet off the ground.  It hung there, swinging and playing with the tree.  You could see all the bark removed on the branch.  Rots can get buck nasty too.  Been around several of the breeds mentioned without a problem, still don't trust em.   

NPHuskerFL

@Focker‌ although I'm not trying to debate this but, American Pit Bull Terrier is the most misidentified breed. They DO NOT nor is there ANY breed of canine that has locking jaws. There is so much misinformation out there on every breed (but, more so on this particular breed).
http://www.badrap.org/monster-myths

Focker

No debate here, it locked onto the tree.  That is enough for me.  Wouldn't want that to be my arm.

JohnInCarolina

Back on topic:

nolaegghead

I like turtles.

Botch

Back on topic here too: back in college I finally " consummated the relationship" with a lady I was very fond of.  Next day I took her out for Chinese for lunch, had a great meal, and opened my cookie.  I turned red.  I turned very red!  What's-her-name finally grabbed my fortune and read it:

The only time a whale gets speared is when he raises to spout!

She laughed uproariously, and I finally broke down and laughed too.  What cosmic timing!  

  

nolaegghead

Translation: enjoy submarine mode as long as you can because you're buying the whale with the much needed air.  Or something like that. I'm drunk.  Gimme a break.

Skiddymarker

Rotties can be nasty, Usually, the big guys are gentle giants, it is those snappy little buggers you have to watch out for - unless of course your name is Cujo and you get rabies..... Our super vicious Saint...