Look up any Indian dal recipe. I could live on them.

My wife makes a mango-black bean salsa dip that's off the chain.  

Red beans with sausage over rice.

Calico bean dish is probably my all time favorite food

Seriously? I love all kinds of beans. I would rather have a serving of pintos or Mom's green beans than a slice of bacon. Not even close! Been known to make a meal of pintos and cornbread, 

THE NAVY GETS THE GRAVY BUT THE ARMY GETS THE BEANS - JERRY LEWIS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vv1-NJOp3y0

Z, I think you are having trouble because of canned beans that have then been overlooked. Try this. Pick a recipe you like that has beans in it. Then go buy a bag of that dried bean in the store. Cook them properly in water until done to your liking. Then season them. Try them with various spices. Obviously some beans go better with various profiles. I would try several varieties. Then tell us you don't like beans. Here are some classics. Split pea with ham, black bean soup, white beans with ham, baked beans with salt pork, black eyed peas, hummus, all of these are mostly bean and less other stuff. OR open a can of black beans sprinkle with garlic, salt, pepper and and heat in the microwave. Dollop of sour cream, Dip with tortillas or corn chips--money.

I think @jstroke is right that only using canned beans might be a culprit, especially if it is the texture you really don't like.  If you cook your own you can control the texture, and shut the pot off when the texture is something you like. I'm also not sure why you feel it is bad to add additional flavorings, I mean I don't really like lobster if it isn't dipped in melted butter or steak if it isn't vigorously salted and peppered.

I have some canned beans in the house, but 95% of the time I cook from dry.  I soak for at least 4 hours, up to overnight.  Drain the beans.  In a pot large enough to hold all the beans and water to cover by a couple of inches, sweat minced onion, celery, and 3-4 garlic cloves.  Add the beans and liquid to cover the beans by a couple of inches.  The liquid can be all water, all broth, or a mix of the two.  Drop in a bay leaf, bring to a boil, reduce to a solid simmer, and cook until they are done to your liking.

Also, if you want a meat laced 'gateway' to beans, google cassoulet as @tackman suggested, or google feijoada (the national dish of Brazil and IMHO one of the best things you can possibly eat) and find a recipe you like.

So you find beans to be bland tasteless mushy gunk, understandable I suppose in their plain simmered in water form.  Then again flour and water would fall into the same category but with a little tweaking those two ingredients form the basis for the most popular foods on earth.  Beans are similar & I believe one of the most versatile food products on earth.  Anything you can imagine you can create with beans.  One of the house favorites here is the classic pasta e fagioli, we make a few batches every winter & it's perfect for cold weather.  Another is a mixture of beans, corn, onions & Rotel on a tortilla, pop on the egg with some shredded cheddar & it's an instant nacho pizza, we made about 1000 of those this past summer & no matter who shows up they can't get enough of them.  Here's some other things I've put them in:

Brown rice with white cedar smoked/olive oil fried bratwurst, yellow corn & black beans:



Black bean pumpkin burgers:







Similar but this is a mushroom black bean burger:







Made this batch of lentil 'meatballs' just the other night, essentially it's made just like a meatball but substitute cooked lentils for ground beef.  They were pretty damn good & if you're ever faced with making an alternative for a vegetarian house guest these will work great:



On the plate with some homemade gnocchi:





Red & white beans and rice:



Cold salad with kidney beans & quinoa:




Beans, like mushrooms (particularly portabella) are about as close as you can get to a decent meat substitute so if you're the experimenting type think along those lines.  They take on a whole different texture when mashed as well becoming a binder similar to ground meat.  For example with the burgers I usually mash about half the beans into a refried bean consistency and leave the other half whole so you get the binding quality along with the whole bean texture in the final product, it's excellent.  I've incorporated beans and or shrooms into many dishes that otherwise call for meat with very good results.  Beans have limitless possibilities

This is a great mostly bean recipe.  Uses all kinds:

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/classic-texas-caviar/

Zippylip said:

So you find beans to be bland tasteless mushy gunk, understandable I suppose in their plain simmered in water form.  Then again flour and water would fall into the same category but with a little tweaking those two ingredients form the basis for the most popular foods on earth.  Beans are similar & I believe one of the most versatile food products on earth.  Anything you can imagine you can create with beans.  One of the house favorites here is the classic pasta e fagioli, we make a few batches every winter & it's perfect for cold weather.  Another is a mixture of beans, corn, onions & Rotel on a tortilla, pop on the egg with some shredded cheddar & it's an instant nacho pizza, we made about 1000 of those this past summer & no matter who shows up they can't get enough of them.  Here's some other things I've put them in:

Brown rice with white cedar smoked/olive oil fried bratwurst, yellow corn & black beans:



Black bean pumpkin burgers:







Similar but this is a mushroom black bean burger:







Made this batch of lentil 'meatballs' just the other night, essentially it's made just like a meatball but substitute cooked lentils for ground beef.  They were pretty damn good & if you're ever faced with making an alternative for a vegetarian house guest these will work great:



On the plate with some homemade gnocchi:





Red & white beans and rice:



Cold salad with kidney beans & quinoa:




Beans, like mushrooms (particularly portabella) are about as close as you can get to a decent meat substitute so if you're the experimenting type think along those lines.  They take on a whole different texture when mashed as well becoming a binder similar to ground meat.  For example with the burgers I usually mash about half the beans into a refried bean consistency and leave the other half whole so you get the binding quality along with the whole bean texture in the final product, it's excellent.  I've incorporated beans and or shrooms into many dishes that otherwise call for meat with very good results.  Beans have limitless possibilities

This is a Big Green Egg forum Mister! I see nothing but frypans there. You would probably use a pizza oven as well.

Zippylip said:

Little Steven said:

This is a Big Green Egg forum Mister! I see nothing but frypans there. You would probably use a pizza oven as well.

Hey, if it makes you happy any of this crap can be thrown on a BGE, I was simply trying to help the nice man with some bean ideas as I did note the essence of his query to be one of 'what good are beans' rather than 'I love beans but not sure how to cook them on the BGE'.  I wouldn't have expected you to pick up on this subtlety but in the future if you could do us all a favor & just assume you don't know what you're talking about then perhaps we could dispense with the hurtfulness; that would be nice for all involved, m'kay?

I apologise profusely