OT: And yet another really OT question…OT

RRP

I realize this is an odd question to be posted on a BBQ grill question….BUT I also believe this forum has such a broad spectrum of intelligent viewers/responders ,…PLUS this is only Wednesday anyway!

Here goes… any experiences - good or bad you want ro share about getting a DNA  analysis comparison  by two siblings, who “have always wondered”

lousubcap

That is a third rail topic that I will just follow thru the comments.  

HeavyG

I think that's one of those situations where you proceed in peril if both parties are not capable of accepting/understanding all possible outcomes of the test results.
I'll bet some old episodes of the Jerry Springer or Dr. Phil shows have episodes about this stuff.

Canugghead

What are the chances this thread runs amok and @RRP disappears?

RRP

Canugghead said:

What are the chances this thread runs amok and @RRP disappears?

Hmmm, guess I didn’t think that would happen, but the question posed was not mine, but from a friend and after processing it thru my feeble mind while mowing my yard today, I figured why not run it up the flagpole to see WHAT real life experiences occurred. Obvioudly if someone did not chance knowing the truth, then, why bother,

Photo Egg

The siblings have made their life what it is today. 
IMO, no good can come from this testing. Sometimes you just have to let the past be the past and assume, even if it might solve a mystery, it was for good reason at the time. 

Gulfcoastguy

Go on YouTube and you will find several videos where it wrecked families and several where finding unknown fathers turned out great. No unknown relatives closer than second cousins showed up on mine. No unknown kids either. 

The big thing that I found was the Choctaw bride many generations ago was more likely of African ancestry. Everyone thinks that they have an Indian Princess in their ancestry but it almost never is true.

RRP

Gulfcoastguy said:

Go on YouTube and you will find several videos where it wrecked families and several where finding unknown fathers turned out great. No unknown relatives closer than second cousins showed up on mine. No unknown kids either. 

The big thing that I found was the Choctaw bride many generations ago was more likely of African ancestry. Everyone thinks that they have an Indian Princess in their ancestry but it almost never is true.

Thanks! Guess I have and still am happy knowing at age 78 I was an only child. 

fishlessman

RRP said:

Gulfcoastguy said:

Go on YouTube and you will find several videos where it wrecked families and several where finding unknown fathers turned out great. No unknown relatives closer than second cousins showed up on mine. No unknown kids either. 

The big thing that I found was the Choctaw bride many generations ago was more likely of African ancestry. Everyone thinks that they have an Indian Princess in their ancestry but it almost never is true.

Thanks! Guess I have and still am happy knowing at age 78 I was an only child. 

when my grandfather was in his late 80's a woman knocked on his door and introduced herself, it was a daughter he never knew he had.  he dated her mom when he was 20 and she never told him, she just moved to live with relatives.

Mark_B_Good

RRP said:

I realize this is an odd question to be posted on a BBQ grill question….BUT I also believe this forum has such a broad spectrum of intelligent viewers/responders ,…PLUS this is only Wednesday anyway!

Here goes… any experiences - good or bad you want ro share about getting a DNA  analysis comparison  by two siblings, who “have always wondered”

My vote is to let sleeping dogs lay ... what good can come out of it? DNA match ... oh, nothing changes, carry on. DNA non-match ... oh crap!

Rather just carry on with life.

TEXASBGE2018

A bit different from the connection your friend is trying to make but I found out when I was in my mid 20s that my grandfather on my moms side wasn't technically my grandfather. My moms birth dad was apparently an alcoholic POS and left my grandmother when my mom was like 1. She then met who I called my grandfather when my mom was like 2 and after marrying my grandmother he legally adopted my mom. So my mom didn't even know till she was alot older either. 

I grew up not knowing my "grandfather" wasn't blood related to me. For me personally it didn't matter because that man was one of my idols. 

I think your friend needs to ask themselves what are they trying to resolve here? Does it even matter? For me finding that out didn't change my relationship with him if anything it made me admire him more because he never looked at me like we weren't "related by blood"

Langner91

They may find what they are looking for, but they also might find a lot they aren't looking for.

Be prepared for good news, bad news, or no news.  

It causes a lot of different feelings for different people.

I will say, if there is money involved (inheritance), the feelings are usually not warm and welcoming.  And, that can be one sided, where one person might fear losing part of an inheritance even though the other person is not looking for money.   Money makes the worst in people come out.

Ozzie_Isaac

Never ask a question if you are not prepared for the answer.

I cannot say what I would do, probably live in ignorance.

Thapco

 This leaves a wide open field of bad and very little good.  Only good I can think of right now is having a genetic medical history of inherited problems which knowing history might help diagnostics or even healing 

lkapigian

I keep all my DNA safely tucked away in my sock drawer 

RRP

Case closed! My friend was only "thinking" about asking his brother and seemed to only need a slight nudge to drop the thought in a heartbeat! Now I'm not even sure why he asked me!

GrateEggspectations

lkapigian said:

I keep all my DNA safely tucked away in my sock drawer 

You wouldn’t happen to be a Chili Peppers fan, per chance?

EzraBrooks

I'd suggest your friend (and anyone else who is interested) check out the documentary "Our Father" on Netflix. https://www.netflix.com/title/81227735

Fertility Dr. used self extracted seed instead of requested donor and they have identified 94 of his offspring so far through DNA tests. This happened in the next town over from me which is why I watched it. I found it fascinating but also a little scary since folks around here do not know who they are related to when pairing up.

Tip2Tip

Years ago my oldest brother got one of these things done.  I think it was the 23 and me one.  

Results came back and he told me it said he was part Cherokee.  I said BS Indians do not have facial hair.  He said well get it yourself you probably have some too.

So I did, and compared my results to his over Thanksgiving.  Turns out, he was right about the Cherokee business.  But what we did not expect was that he was not my brother.  

He was my father.

When I asked him about this, he admitted that mom had asked him to do some strange things in her bedroom back in the day.  And then one day I came along.  

You would think he would have mentioned that story to me before telling me to get the DNA test.   

That was a rough Thanksgiving.  

PhinnGerbang

Wow.