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OT: Only applies to seniors - you'll know what I mean

RRP
RRP Posts: 26,020
in Off Topic
1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.

 2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce and cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.
                  3. How to  prepare Tofu:
    a.  Throw it in the trash
    b.  Grill some meat
  
4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
 
5. I don't  mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
 
6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than
    men who mention it.
 
7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it.  When I was young, I had to walk
    9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
 
8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
 
9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside they closed school?  Me neither.
 
10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forget where I was going with this.
 
11. I love being a senior. I learn something new every day and forget 5 others.
 
12. A thief broke into my house last night.  He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.
 
13. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day. 
 
14. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
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