OT - Handling Finances As A Couple

Ragtop99

The process has changed over time, but it started out sorta like like eggerty's approach.  When she was full time at work, we had separate accounts and each made a contribution to operating the household and savings (joint savings accounts and 401ks).  The remainder was yours do as pleased, although we discussed any large purchases even if it were from our separate funds.  Everything household related (except her credit card) was handled from my account since I had the bigger paycheck. Now she works P/T and has been full time at home with the kids for many years.  Her income fluctuates so I just ask her periodically what excess money she has when large bills like vacation, college tuition, etc come up and she hands me a check. 

We trust each other not to go crazy on spending and both of us recognize the need for saving for retirement since the beginning of our marriage.  Good communication and shared fiscal conservative outlook to managing money have made marriage fairly smooth sailing. 

Tinyfish

Im sure this was said already. .. joint plus your secret stash account for your eggs and accessories.  The more time you spend on this site the thinner your wallet becomes.

MaC122

wife and I keep everything separate and we have been married for 5 years. This has always worked out and keeps financial arguments to a minimum. She pays certain bills and so do I. If any one of us needs money we just ask and give it to each other. We are good at saving and keep that separate as well. I buy whatever I want and so does she. That being said.....I did buy a new Tundra five years ago and did not even tell her about it until it was off the lot. She was not too pleased about that, haha! I don't think ill do that again.

njl

Griffin said:

With marriage, you are all in. On everything. Finances included. Just MHO.

Unless you have a good pre-nup.  

I've been married just over 20 years (no pre-nup).  I don't remember how long we waited, but we each kept our separate pre-married checking and savings accounts.  We eventually added each other to our accounts and nearly all our credit cards are joint.  

The best advice I can give you is unrelated to the question...but don't accept a debit card from your bank and don't carry a balance on any credit card past the "pay by" time for each monthly statement.  i.e. don't buy stuff you can't afford just because it'll fit in your credit limit.  Treat your credit cards as if they're debit cards.  Even if your bank tries to tell you, "here's your new debit card that replaces your ATM card", tell them no way, issue me a new ATM card.

Debit cards, if something goes wrong, you have to fight to get the money put back in your account.  Credit cards, if something goes wrong, you dispute the charge and don't pay.  If you keep your credit clean enough, the credit card companies will pay you to use their cards.  I don't have any cards that charge a yearly fee, and I don't have any that don't pay at least 1% cash back on all purchases.

Monaarts

My wife and I have the following setup and I think it works extremely well...

1) Her checking account 
2) My checking account
3) Bill and spending savings account
4) Actual savings account

Our pay checks get deposited into account 3.  We kee a certain amount of money in each of our savings accounts and when we are running low we just transfer money from account 3 int our checking.  Every month we have $x transferred automatically from savings 3 to savings 4 where we don't touch it with the exception of the times we are planning on investing it differently (stocks, retirement funding, etc.), which I typicaly do 1-2 times a year. 

NCEggSmoker

Joint savings (emergency fund) and checking accounts since soon after we got married. Has always worked for us as we're checks and balances on each other's spending for large discretionary purchases. 

Roadpuke0

Been married twenty years and we go the separate account route from day one. We each have our responsibilities to pay certain expenses and after that each do what they wish. She pays mortgage, her credit card and our child expenses. I on the other hand pay for car Payments, all utilities, insurance  and all home improvements and I hoard the rest for retirement for peace of mind a one time catristrofic event will not bring the house of cards down. We have never argued about money. Maybe we are Both just control freaks I don,t know but it work for use.

mgd_egg

I've done it both ways...Marriage #1 We had one joint account and it was a disaster. Marriage #2  We have a joint account for household expenses and personal checking accounts for everything else.  We have a budget for all our household (shared) expenses such as mortgage, utilities, groceries, dining out, insurance and we put in a set amount each month.  The rest of our income goes into our personal checking accounts.  We like the way this works. It allows each of us to spend on things we want without getting yelled at.  Each of us has financial baggage (child support, school loans and different spending habbits) and this is what works best for us.  When are kids are grown up we will most likely keep our income in one joint checking account.  

Good luck, this isn't easy!

By the way I love that you can ask anything on this forum from "how can I keep my cast dry?" to "what's the best method for a bone in ribeye?"  The off topic post are just as interesting as BGE cooks.  And you usually get honest feedback! 

theyolksonyou

By the way I love that you can ask anything on this forum from "how can I keep my cast dry?" to "what's the best method for a bone in ribeye?"  The off topic post are just as interesting as BGE cooks.  And you usually get honest feedback! 

My wife said, "you say that egg forum is about more than cooking.  So ask them"

she posted the same on FB and got one response.  that's why this place rocks! 


Edit:  this thread is sinking. 

jmcnutt5

@oldgeezeystax this is my perspective and I know some will disagree with me and that is fine. 

I suggest 100% joint accounts on everything.  I personally believe once you get married, there is no more mine and yours...just an "us".  I know my wife buys things I do not see a need for but that is what a BUDGET is for.  We create line items for pocket money, clothing, monthly bills, and other household things, and we both have input to the budget and agree on it.  So if she has a certain dollar amount for clothing or pocket money, she can spend that money on what she wants.  Before a budget, that would drive me nuts because I would see it as buying something we didn't need and wasting money.  Now that we agree she has this much money available per month, it doesn't bother me unless she goes over, but that rarely happens because she knows what we agreed on.  This same logic applies to me and stuff I want to buy (see everything on this forum).  If something comes up and she or I need extra, we have to revisit our budget and find that money from something else. 

Another good thing about doing 100% joint accounts and budget is if something happens to either one of you (heaven forbid).  You both need to know what bills are due and how much they typically are.  You also need to know where all your assets are in case of an emergency. 

If you are looking for something to help you both getting on the same page, I would recommend Financial Peace University.  It really helped us get on the same page and take control of our finances together.  Another strange thing happened because of this...it made our marriage better and a lot less stressful because we BOTH felt in control.  I used to be the one who took care of all the bills and kept the check book in perfect order, but once we took the class my wife became a lot more engaged in the process and took over those duties.  It was a little hard to let that control go but now I do not have to stress over it so it has worked out well for the best of us.

Hope this helps.  Good Luck!

jmcnutt5

Eggerty said:

Also my own personal opinion but I would stay away from credit cards. More or less just like another thread on Rich Dad Poor Dad or Dave Ramsey. Credit cards get more people into trouble and such a waste (interest rate) unless you pay off each month. 

We always feel better running off of straight cash. Staying within our means...

+1 on no to credit cards.  Even if you pay it off every month, the "points" are not worth it.  I have yet to meet one person who has said they got rich from credit card points.

Ragtop99

I think most of us with separate accounts put the spouse on the account in order to have access in emergencies. 

I haven't got rich from credit card points, but they certainly have contributed big time to vacations.  If credit cards result in increased spending compared to cash or result in the carrying of high interest rate balances then I agree, the points aren't worth it.  If spending is based upon the budget, then method of payment should be based on minimizing the individual's transaction costs. Reward points are effectively a negative cost to the individual consumer (although we can debate the total societal cost). 

If not carrying credit cards helps you stay on budget; not carrying them is the right decision for you.   

Eggcelsior

jmcnutt5 said:

Eggerty said:

Also my own personal opinion but I would stay away from credit cards. More or less just like another thread on Rich Dad Poor Dad or Dave Ramsey. Credit cards get more people into trouble and such a waste (interest rate) unless you pay off each month. 

We always feel better running off of straight cash. Staying within our means...

+1 on no to credit cards.  Even if you pay it off every month, the "points" are not worth it.  I have yet to meet one person who has said they got rich from credit card points.

Points may not be worth it, but frequent flyer miles help the vacation budget go a lot further. I "feel" a lot richer knowing I can spend more at the location we are going rather than how we get there. To each their own.

MaC122

We both have amex charge cards that we cant carry a balance on. You get nice perks that I never got swiping the debit card.