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My Friend / Coworker died Tuesday

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johnkitchens
johnkitchens Posts: 5,227
edited September 2014 in Off Topic
A good friend of mine that I have known for almost 20 years died on Tuesday afternoon. We worked for the same company. He was one of our managers that I dealt with on a daily basis. He was in his upper 60's, but he still worked like a Trojan everyday. 

He was diagnosed with lung cancer about a year ago. He fought so hard, and I respect him so much for it.  Not to say that we didn't have our differences at times. We did and we occasionally butted heads, but we hadn't had a blow up in about 10 years.  He was the type of guy that would do anything for you, and the only thing that really made him mad was laziness. He couldn't stand it when someone didn't do their job to the best of their ability. 

He wanted all of his employees to give their all and most of them did or they didn't hang around too long. He also had a great sense of humor and was a people person. He was a car enthusiast particularly old hot rods and corvettes and was known to go to a good car show no matter how far away at the drop of a hat. 

He farmed for a living until he sold out and came to work for us. My 15 year old son has known him his entire life and worked with him this summer. When we told him the bad news after school on Tuesday he lost it. He cried steadily for over an hour. He is tenderhearted like his daddy. 

I knew the end was coming, but I still kept thinking he had more time, but he didn't. I have done pretty good dealing with this until I went to his visitation earlier tonight. 

As soon as I walked in they had a memorial video playing on the tv showing a lot of old pictures. He was so young in some of them I didn't even recognize him, but then they started showing more recent pics of him. I felt the grief hit me like a wave, and I lost it right there in front of everyone. It was bad. My son lost it before I did so the two of us were bawling our eyes out thinking about our buddy. 

When I went through the line I hugged his wife and children, and I couldn't even speak. I wanted to tell them how sorry I was and how much I loved him, but my tears were flowing, and I couldn't speak. I could tell by the look on their face that words weren't necessary. They knew how I felt. 

Tomorrow we say goodbye. I will miss him not only as a friend but a great coworker that I relied on. I know life is precious and that people die everyday, but most of us seem to kind of get numb to it until it hits home. At least it is that way for me. 

Sorry for the long rambling post, and no I haven't been drinking. I just want to pay tribute to a friend. 

 

Louisville, GA - 2 Large BGE's
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  • SGH
    SGH Posts: 28,791
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    My heart felt condolences my friend. I lost my father to mesothelioma so I know the agony all to well. Wish y'all the very best my friend and sorry for your loss. And ramble all that you want my friend.

    Location- Just "this side" of Biloxi, Ms.

    Status- Standing by.

    The greatest barrier against all wisdom, the stronghold against knowledge itself, is the single thought, in ones mind, that they already have it all figured out. 

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  • tulocay
    tulocay Posts: 1,737
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    May he Rip.
    LBGE, Marietta, GA
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  • OmahaOne
    OmahaOne Posts: 154
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    Good friends are hard to find. Sorry for your loss. I raise a toast to your friend and will say a prayer for your family and his... 
    XL BGE - Indianapolis, IN
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  • Tjcoley
    Tjcoley Posts: 3,551
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    Sorry for your troubles. Thoughts and prayers with you and the family.
    __________________________________________
    It's not a science, it's an art. And it's flawed.
    - Camp Hill, PA
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  • hapster
    hapster Posts: 7,503
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    Sorry for your loss... It's times and events like this that help to remind us of what's really important, on where are focus should be everyday...

    May he rest in peace.
    MSV Chill Spot
    Chester County, PA

    http://egginwithedward.blogspot.com/

    http://edwardhardingphotography.zenfolio.com/
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  • shtgunal3
    shtgunal3 Posts: 5,661
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    Sorry for your loss...

    ___________________________________

     

     LBGE,SBGE, and a Mini makes three......Sweet home Alabama........ Stay thirsty my friends .

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  • jmarbs21
    jmarbs21 Posts: 139
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    Sorry for your loss bro
    Durham, NC
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  • SoCalTim
    SoCalTim Posts: 2,158
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    I know both this loss and pain. God Bless You.
    I've slow smoked and eaten so much pork, I'm legally recognized as being part swine - Chatsworth Ca.
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  • RRP
    RRP Posts: 25,898
    edited September 2014
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    I lost my mentor who was a career AF man before I graduated from college in 1966. My mentor was trained in the theory then that he could not be properly promoted until he developed his own replacement. GOD rest your soul Lt Col George Kirkpatrick, Retd. SIR
    Re-gasketing America one yard at a time.
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  • SGH
    SGH Posts: 28,791
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    @NPHuskerFL‌
    I concur fully brother husker. On a side note I'm sorry to hear that you had C. But I'm thankful that you are a survivor my friend.

    Location- Just "this side" of Biloxi, Ms.

    Status- Standing by.

    The greatest barrier against all wisdom, the stronghold against knowledge itself, is the single thought, in ones mind, that they already have it all figured out. 

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  • Zmokin
    Zmokin Posts: 1,938
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    So sorry to hear of your loss.  It's the ones we feel closest to that hurt the most.
    The saying "Real men don't cry" is balderdash, Real men do cry.  My eyes are getting moist just thinking about how intense your sorrow must be.
    Large BGE in a Sole' Gourmet Table
    Using the Black Cast Iron grill, Plate Setter,
     and a BBQ Guru temp controller.

    Medium BGE in custom modified off-road nest.
    Black Cast Iron grill, Plate Setter, and a Party-Q temp controller.

    Location: somewhere West of the Mason-Dixon Line
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  • ksmyrl
    ksmyrl Posts: 1,050
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    Prayers to you, your family, and his family. Cancer sucks. My dad is battling it for the third time (prostate, lung, now brain). I cherish every moment I have w him. You are not alone dude! Hang in there. @NPHuskerFL‌ I'm with ya...eff you effing cancer.
    Fish, Hunt, Cook....anything else?

    1LBGE, 1MMBGE, somewhere near Athens GA
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  • Legume
    Legume Posts: 14,627
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    Great tribute man - you said it well.
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  • Skiddymarker
    Skiddymarker Posts: 8,522
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    You did tell his family how sorry you were and how much you loved him - actions mean more than words can ever say. So sorry for your loss, our condolences to the family. Peace be with you. 
    Delta B.C. - Whiskey and steak, because no good story ever started with someone having a salad!
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  • SmyrnaGA
    SmyrnaGA Posts: 438
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    My heart go out to you, your family, and his family. After my mom passed away, I was in a deep depression for many years. Those were dark times. I slowly came to realize that she wouldn't want me to be live that way. So I moved to Georgia to start a new life. Meet the love of my life a few years later. And being a foodie, she bought me my first Green Egg for Christmas back in 2010.

    Morn for now, but, know that there will be good days ahead of ya.

    Large BGE, Small BGE, KJ Jr, and a Cracked Vision Kub.

    in Smyrna GA.


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  • JRWhitee
    JRWhitee Posts: 5,678
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    Sorry for your loss John I have been there too my friend. 
                                                                
    _________________________________________________
    Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story!
    Large BGE 2006, Mini Max 2014, 36" Blackstone, Anova Sous Vide
    Green Man Group 
    Johns Creek, Georgia
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  • grege345
    grege345 Posts: 3,515
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    My condolences.
    LBGE& SBGE———————————————•———————– Pennsylvania / poconos

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  • MaskedMarvel
    MaskedMarvel Posts: 3,143
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    So sorry to read this JK. You're in my thoughts and prayers
    Large BGE and Medium BGE
    36" Blackstone - Greensboro!


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  • jmcnutt5
    jmcnutt5 Posts: 88
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    Sorry to hear that.  I myself am almost one year removed (Sept. 12) from losing a coworker.  We had set beside each other for over three years and he was a great guy.  Got a call late in the evening that he had a motorcylce wreck.  Went straight to the hospital and waited until the early hours of the morning until they finally borke the news to us.  It didn't really hit me until the next morning driving into work that he was never going to be there again.  He was 28 years old. 

    I guess we sometimes never realize what we have until it is taken away from us.  To say this past year has been a struggle is an understatement.  However, while it has not been easy for me or his other friends, I know it must have been and still is unbearable for his parents, sister, and other family members.  I wish there was some good advice I could give you, but this stuff can seem so unfair sometimes.  The only thing I know to do is have trust in the Lord.

    I guess I say all that to tell you that you have my deepest condolences and you and his family will be in my prayers.

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  • johnkitchens
    johnkitchens Posts: 5,227
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    Thank you so much guys. 


    Louisville, GA - 2 Large BGE's
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  • fence0407
    fence0407 Posts: 2,237
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    Very well said John. My condolences to your friend, his family and your family. 
    Large - Mini - Blackstone 17", 28", 36"
    Cumming, GA  

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  • GATraveller
    GATraveller Posts: 8,207
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    Lost my best friend to lung cancer as well and man is it tough.  God bless.

    "Social media gives legions of idiots the right to speak when they once only spoke at a bar after a glass of wine, without harming the community [...] but now they have the same right to speak as a Nobel Prize winner. It's the invasion of the idiots."
                                                                                  -Umberto Eco

    2 Large
    Peachtree Corners, GA
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  • gamason
    gamason Posts: 406
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    Prayers to you and his family during this difficult time!

    Snellville,Ga.

    LBGE

    Minimax

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  • SPRIGS
    SPRIGS Posts: 482
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    So sorry for your loss.  I guess I am tenderhearted like you and your son as I got a tear in my eye reading that.  Very nice tribute to your friend! 
    XL BGE
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  • WAR
    WAR Posts: 8
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    So sorry . .  There are fewer and fewer good men like him left.
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  • jcaspary
    jcaspary Posts: 1,479
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    Sorry for your loss, prayers to your family and his.
    XL BGE, LG BGE, and a hunger to grill everything in sight!!!
    Joe- Strongsville, OH
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  • henapple
    henapple Posts: 16,025
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    I too just lost a friend to cancer. 50 years young and a set of 9 year old twins. I hadn't seen him till recently. About two years ago we hhooked up on Facebook. A long painful fight.
    Green egg, dead animal and alcohol. The "Boro".. TN 
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  • Rabidgoose
    Rabidgoose Posts: 40
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    I'm sorry for your loss, my condolences to you as well as his family.  True friends are the ones you can fight with and still be friends.

    **A friend will bail you out of jail in the middle of the night.....A good friend will be in jail with you.**
    LG BGE...PSWOOII-CI...PLATESETTER...THERMAPEN...MAVERICK-ET-733

    Thumb MI
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