Either they’re idiots, or they think you are

if you can put this in the form of a MMA, WWE or only fans / porn storyline it might get more traction with the target audience. 

So Caillou forgot his chromebook at school. He had a substitute teacher that day, Trisha, who let him borrow her iPad. He has a huge crush on Trisha so when he noticed she was texting hot and heavy on her phone, which also shows on her iPad, he just kept on reading. He wanted to learn how her big studly celebrity boyfriend Billy Ray handled biznass with his prized lady.  But it was a group text and mostly it was Pete the tattoo fitness guy and Tinky Winky talking how cool they are about bossing Judge Joe Brown around. Judge Judy had some feedback but nobody was really having it.  Everybody just doin’ the dirty work for some guy they call the Boss.  Well Caillou sure did get the how-to from the group text. He kept notes so he could tell the principal who wacked Judge Joe. Everybody at the cafeteria was callin Caillou a snitch and that Judge Brown deserved it. But nobody has any idea how many of those gossip headlines Trisha clicked on since her last iOS update.  Because most people think she clicks on them all the time and has no idea somebody in eastern Europe has been selling those pictures she took of herself for good old Billy Ray’s eyes only.  If Caillou only thought to look there!