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My Credit Card Hurts, But My Mouth Is Happy! (Thanks!?)

TylerLaneTylerLane Posts: 14
edited March 2018 in EggHead Forum
New friends,

I have lurked on the forum for about 6 weeks.  Read, study, think, study, ceramic grill store...think, read.

Then in a bourbon-aided moment order Rockwood from Ace — 4 bags, naturally.  (It was on sale!) 


I don’t own a BGE or anything lump related!  I have a freaking rusty Charbroil propane.  (It’s your fault I ordered!)

Fast forward a week, ACE calls, I go in.  Egg’s are on sale will a bundle of accessories.  I leave with my credit card on fire and plenty of high-quality lump to make heat!  (It all happened so fast, I don’t know what to say.)

More bourbon, more forum, and a Thermapen and a large box of CGS goodies are on my front porch.  (Seriously people, you’re killing me.)

Saturday, prime brisket from Sam’s for my first cook.  (It was $2.98/lb, I wasn’t being overly foolish with my least, not compared to the previous few days.)  I put it on at noon (long story), and went to bed about 5am.  Poor start. Overcooked.  (Thermapen wasn’t in yet.)  Point was super tasty, flat was a touch dry.  Made chili with the flat.  Amazing.  Cook saved.  My wife calls it two-day-chilli.  Accurate.  Delicious.

Now it’s the next Friday.  Day off.  Ribs today.  Oh, and a tenderloin that I received as a Christmas gift that I took out of the freezer a few days ago.  Fired up the egg, started meat prep, strung up the tenderloin, salt, pepper, sit.  Egg got hotter than I wanted for the ribs.  Put on the tenderloin while I tried to pull the temp down.  1 hour later, the tenderloin is 120F, I pull, and shift to the kitchen where I have a hot pan ready with a little butter and olive oil. Sear.  Rest.

HOLY FREAKING COW, I AM GOING TO WIN EVERY COOKING AWARD EVER.  (My last name is Beard after all...maybe James is a long lost cousin?)

(It was good.)


Got the temp down to 250-ish.  Kosmo’s Killer Bee Honey had been mustard’ed on about 90 minutes previous and refrigerated. Time to throw them on.  2.5 hours later, foil with margarine and honey and more Kosmos.  Another hour, pull, unwrap, sop with Head Country sauce (I live in OKC, Head Country is our groove), another 1.5 until it toothpicks and folds to forum standards.  Rest about 15.


I’d like to thanks my producer — wait, wrong show.

Best ribs I’ve ever eaten.  I don’t usually order ribs — I’m a brisket guy — but still!  Wow!

So thanks to all you egg heads.  You’ve taught me all I know.  Somehow I feel more powerful today.  Again, thank you all!


Tyler (call me James) Beard


  • g8golferg8golfer Posts: 926
    Great first post. Welcome to the obsession. You are just getting started. Glad to have you apart of the community. 
  • bgebrentbgebrent Posts: 18,118
    Sandy Springs & Dawsonville Ga
  • JeremiahJeremiah Posts: 6,254
    Slumming it in Aiken, SC. 
  • TheophanTheophan Posts: 2,332
    ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!  Amazing job!  You're off to a much faster, higher quality start than mine, a number of years ago, and I was just as excited as you are.  You have years and years of wonderful food ahead -- keep on truckin'!
  • northGAcocknorthGAcock Posts: 12,025
    Welcome aboard and off to a great start.....sorry your wallet hurts.
    Columbia, South Carolina with a Medium, MiniMax & a 17" Blackstone

    “Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.”
  • lousubcaplousubcap Posts: 18,692
    Welcome aboard and enjoy the journey.  Above all, continue to have fun.
    Talk about pedal to the metal right out of the gate.  Great writing right there.  Most eggcellent.  
    Louisville;  L & S BGEs, PBC, Lang 36; Burnin' wood in the neighbourhood. # 38 for the win.  Life is too short for light/lite beer.  
  • pgprescottpgprescott Posts: 11,542
    edited March 2018
    well done with the intro. I love a modest guy. “James” LOL
  • ewyllinsewyllins Posts: 410
    Thats a lot of words!! Nice pic and welcome
    O-Town, FL

  • Thomasc18Thomasc18 Posts: 185
    I’m sorry is all I can say...
    Madison, AL
  • Thomasc18Thomasc18 Posts: 185
    Oh yea congrats as well?!?
    Madison, AL
  • "Brought to you by bourbon, bacon, and a series of questionable life decisions."

    South of Nashville, TN

  • JohnnyTarheelJohnnyTarheel Posts: 5,562
    Charlotte, NC - Large BGE 2014, Maverick ET 733, Thermopen, Nest, Platesetter, Woo2 and Extender w/Grid, Kick Ash Basket, Pizza Stone, SS Smokeware Cap, Blackstone 36"
  • LegumeLegume Posts: 9,286
    You sound like you’ve been here for a while.
    Austin, TX
  • Ozzie_IsaacOzzie_Isaac Posts: 9,255
    Welcome aboard!  Nice start.
    If it is worth doing, it is worth overdoing.

    XL, Medium, Minimax, Mini, Blackstone, WSM
  • mEGG_My_DaymEGG_My_Day Posts: 1,046
     Wow - I haven’t been around here long enough to be comfortable welcoming a first post.  But dang, that’s a great one and welcome aboard!! 
    Memphis, TN 

    LBGE, SBGE, Hasty-Bake Gourmet, (Akron was gifted to a friend)
  • R2Egg2QR2Egg2Q Posts: 2,124
    Welcome aboard. Nice 1st post!
    XL, Large, Small, Mini Eggs, Humphrey's Weekender, MAK 1-Star General, Hasty Bake Gourmet, Santa Maria Grill, Webers: 18.5" WSM, 22.5" OTG, 22.5" Kettle Premium, WGA Charcoal, Summit S-620 NG

    Bay Area, CA
  • thetrimthetrim Posts: 7,607
    You’re off to a great start!  Keep it up and the $$$ you dropped so far will seem like it was well worth it!
    XL 6/06, Mini 6/12, L 10/12, Mini #2 12/14 MiniMax 3/16
    Tampa Bay, FL
    EIB 6 Oct 95
  • bluebird66bluebird66 Posts: 2,238
    Large Egg with adjustable rig, Kick Ash Basket and various Weber's
    Floyd Va

  • johnnypjohnnyp Posts: 3,311
    Welcome.  Glad you’re loving it! 
    XL & MM BGE, 36" Blackstone - Newport News, VA
  • TylerLaneTylerLane Posts: 14
    Thanks for the welcome everyone!  I’m dropping a pork butt on right now, going to try turbo.  We’ll see.
  • Hans61Hans61 Posts: 3,622
    Nice write up and welcome! 

    What size did you get?
    “There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body.”
    Coach Finstock Teen Wolf
  • THEBuckeyeTHEBuckeye Posts: 4,119
    I think he's a Russian Agent assimilating.
    New Albany, Ohio 

  • TylerLaneTylerLane Posts: 14
    I think he's a Russian Agent assimilating.
    No stinking commy spy could ever become so fluent speaking ‘merican that he could use mustard as a verb. 
  • TylerLaneTylerLane Posts: 14

    Hans61 said:
    Nice write up and welcome! 

    What size did you get?
    8.5 lb’er. Didn’t realize until I was opening the package that it was boneless. Kind of made it a little flappy floppy. Great shape in the package, less so on the cutting board — not terrible.  Tied it and tooth picked it a little, and she looks right. Mustard and Kosmo again. Lots of sugar in Kosmo so I’m keeping the heat at 325F. That sound about right?

    This is my best fire to date. Temperature is staying very tidy. No wind today, which I presume is the main factor.  I do have a SmoBot on order. (Guess how that happened?)
  • kweitzkweitz Posts: 305
    I feel your pain on the credit card front James. Nice intro to the forum. I look forward to your posts! Welcome aboard!!

    Charles Town, West-by-God Virginia

    Sazco large Casa-Q

    Large BGE

  • BotchBotch Posts: 7,475
    Welcome to the Dark Side!
    I know you're new, but: how did you open your bags of lump?   ;)
    Live fast, die young, and leave a well-marbled corpse.  
    Ogden, Utard.  
  • TylerLaneTylerLane Posts: 14
    Botch said:
    Welcome to the Dark Side!
    I know you're new, but: how did you open your bags of lump?   ;)

    As a small child, I became proficient at the pull-the-(correct)-string method.  My dad raced homing pigeons (still does), and their feed came in strung bags.  I opened a LOT of bags.  I’m pretty good.

    So call me what you will, but I’m a string puller.
  • TylerLaneTylerLane Posts: 14
    So a serving of moderately humble butt pie came my way today.  It was decent, but not worthy of my long lost cousin.  A little dry.  A little flavor.  Sauce helped, but seemed like cheating.  Eatable.  Decent, maybe good even, but not great.

    Question: I’ve done two long cooks, and both were similarly blasé.  Both probed like butter on most of the meat, but I tried to hang in there for a stubborn section that remained less-than-buttery when probed.  Both were longer-than-normal cooks as a result of the pursuit of butter-through-out probing.  Am I making a mistake by not being ok with buttery in 80-90%?  Is that pull time?  Both longer cooks I opted not to wrap.  Perhaps that I my mistake?

    Tyler (call me Jim) Beard

  • calikingcaliking Posts: 12,055
    Welcome aboard! 

    It sounds like you’re well on your way to swinging for the fence. And as you are probably figuring out, the egg is the cheapest part of all this. Wait until a new patio gets categorized as your latest “accessory “ :smiley:

    #1 LBGE December 2012 • #2 SBGE February  2013 • #3 Mini May 2013
    A happy BGE family in Houston, TX.
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