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Feeling Glum...Sorry. OT

We just got word my Dad passed away tonight.  It's not a sad occasion because he's had Alzheimer's and was unable to communicate for a long time now.  I'm not sure what this means for Christmas and the T-Rex steaks I got planned.   My 4 year old expects to open gifts from Santa tomorrow morning and so she shall.  The rest of the day's a crap shoot. 

My Dad aways did things his own way and was difficult sometimes.  Even the director at his home said it figures he would pass at an inconvenient time!

Flint, Michigan


  • berndcrispberndcrisp Posts: 1,077
    So very sorry. Bad time of year but it always is. Take care of your child on xmas and do your cook. Smiles will come your way!
    Hood Stars, Wrist Crowns and Obsession Dobs!

  • doubledouble Posts: 1,214
    Good thoughts your way remember the happy times.
    Lynnwood WA
  • bud812bud812 Posts: 1,851
    So sorry Bro, make it a special day for Pebbles & your Dad will be proud.

    Not to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution...

    Large & Small BGE

    Stockton Ca.

  • MickeyMickey Posts: 18,748
    Remember the good times. So sorry.
    Salado TX Egg Family: 3 Large and a very well used Mini, added a Mini Max (I'm good for now). 

  • TjcoleyTjcoley Posts: 3,528
    So sorry to hear Fred.  Let your four year old have her Christmas, then take it one step at a time.  Always difficult, but even more so at this time of year.  You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.  
    It's not a science, it's an art. And it's flawed.
    - Camp Hill, PA
  • jay75jay75 Posts: 153
    Ahh Fred my heart goes out to you tonight... I still remember the phone call I got when my dad died. Just remember how he was. Not how he went. Mine dint even recognise me last time, before he left us. I hope you can make this a Christmas your daughter will remember for all the right reasons! Coz when I look back.... I'm not so proud. All my best for you and your loved ones. Jay
  • EggcelsiorEggcelsior Posts: 14,015
    Fred, I am sincerely sorry for your loss. My grandfather passed from complications with Lewy Body Dementia, so I understand your pain. Use this time to reflect on what goodness he brought to you. When you watch
    Pebbles opens gifts, remember that if it wasn't for the values he instilled in you, you may not be watching Pebbles. You might not have her at all. She has grandpa to thank for her wonderful father. May he rest in peace. You will be in my thoughts tonight and it will make me appreciate my father that much more. I wish you a joyous Christmas. Remember all the good he brought to you and drink to that. Let tomorrow be the best wake it can be for your dad, since he will be looking down on you with a satisfied smile.
  • dlk7dlk7 Posts: 1,053
    Sorry for your loss Fred.  It's won't be easy but your daughter will help make tomorrow a better day.  I hope there are many good memories that will help soothe the pain.

    Two XL BGEs - So Happy!!!!

    Waunakee, WI

  • jay75jay75 Posts: 153
    Sorry! Just looked at this post again and it appears as though I have disliked the OG post? Never was anything further from my mind.
  • My thanks to everyone!  I'm determined that this will not ruin Christmas for the family. 

    Jay, my Dad hasn't recognized me for 4 years.  He was still living with my Mom 4 years ago when she had to go to the hospital for heart valve replacement surgery.  I stayed with him and only through doing that did I discover he had no idea who I was.  He told me to get the h&ll out of his house.  He couldn't stay by himself so we put him in a home after that. 

    Flint, Michigan
  • nolaeggheadnolaegghead Posts: 26,712
    Fred, look back at all the good times with your dad and celebrate those times.  Part of living is dying and, in my opinion, we need to carry on and take the good things forward with us.  Have a good holiday, my friend.
    This is my signature line just so you're not confused.  Love me or hate me, I am forum Marmite.
    Large and Medium BGE, Kamado Joe Jr, Akorn Jr, smoker with a 5k btu AC, gas grill, fire pit, pack of angry cats, two turntables and a microphone, my friend.  Registered republican.
    New Orleans, LA - we know how to eat 

  • jay75jay75 Posts: 153
    Good to hear. I. Guess I should put it to bed too, after all its only been twenty years?!! Still can't help but feel a twinge when it cuts close to the mark.. Your a good person! Just whish Ida made my peace back when that's all..
  • So sorry to hear of your lost.  I'll pray that you find comfort and peace.

    Welcome to the Swamp.....GO GATORS!!!!
  • So sorry Fred. Focus on the good times that you shared with him.
  • cazzycazzy Posts: 9,067
    edited December 2012
    Sorry for your loss Fred. As someone who's lost a parent before their time, I can tell you, it does eventually get a lil easier so stay strong. My lil girl was 5 when mom passed and she told me this during a very difficult night. "Dad, don't be sad, grandma is a angel now and she's watching over us." Funny how resilient kiddos are but she was right.

    Remember the good times you had with him and be thankful that he now recognizes you again. Enjoy your food and family time. Be strong brother.
    Just a hack that makes some $hitty BBQ....
  • Death is part of life, our love for someone cannot keep them safe or with us forever. Hold onto those with you, be the great father you are to that precious little girl you have, enjoy Christmas with her and Wilma - keep your routine and your faith, my sincere condolences. 

    Have a very Merry Christmas, cook a great meal and raise a toast to your Dad...  
    Delta B.C. - Move over coffee, this is job for alcohol!
  • R2Egg2QR2Egg2Q Posts: 1,990
    So sorry for your loss. Hoping you & your family can still enjoy your Christmas.
    XL, Large, Small, Mini Eggs, Humphrey's Weekender, Superior Smokers SS-Two, MAK 1-Star General, Hasty Bake Gourmet, Santa Maria Grill, Thai Charcoal cooker, Webers: 18.5" WSM, 22.5" OTG, 22.5" Kettle Premium, WGA Charcoal, Summit S-620 NG

    Bay Area, CA
  • td66snrftd66snrf Posts: 1,367


    There's never a good time to lose your dad, but some times are worse than others. Please take solice in that your post, as sad is has made me feel, makes me appreciate my lovely daughters and what I have all that much more. Take care of that 4yr old. Typing with tears. Tim D in So Cal

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year To all my BGE brothers and sisters

    XLBGE, LBGE, MBGE, SMALL, MINI, 2 Kubs, Fire Magic Gasser
  • Fred so sorry for your loss. Memories of better times will fill the void
    Large, small and mini now Egging in Rowlett Tx
  • Fred,

    My dad passed away on Dec. 13 (many years ago).  The first few Christmases were a reminder of his passing, but that morphed into just remembering good times with him.  Sorry for your loss.

    Dripping Springs, Texas.
    Just west of Austintatious

  • My condolences Fred. I know how tough this sort of thing can be. I hope you're able to enjoy this and every day with your wife and daughter. As hard as it might be remember it's not you that's gone, so don't let the days slip by. It can be tough for everyone in very different ways, but the best anyone can do is be themselves and support all of those still here with us. Fight for the things that make you happy and that you know to be right.

    Best -
    Finally back in the Badger State!

    Middleton, WI
  • GK59GK59 Posts: 501

    Sorry for your loss Fred. But T-Rex those steaks in his honor. He will forever see you when he sees smokes in Flint.

    I'll finish my ham in his honor to.


    Smitty's Kid's BBQ

    Bay City,MI

  • Fred,

    My dad passed away on Dec. 13 (many years ago).  The first few Christmases were a reminder of his passing, but that morphed into just remembering good times with him.  Sorry for your loss.
    I agree - the date will become more special as an opportunity of remembrance.  My dad passed away Easter morning a couple years ago (in Petoskey).  At first I thought we would never be able to celebrate Easter again but this past year it felt like an extra special day to remember what a great person he was.  And I feel lucky that it happened on Easter so I know I will always have this special day to remember him.  Hang in there for now - my thoughts are with you and your family.
  • Fred, my prayers go out to you and your entire family. My Mother died from Alzheimer's complications 2 years ago the day before Thanksgiving. Always a bittersweet experience. But we all get together and celebrate her life. We remember the good times, we swap stories tha all begin "Remember when Mom ... ". Always a ton of laughs! We remember and are thankful! May it be so with you and your family. Your Father would have it no other way! Again, my sincerest condolences to you and yours.
  • CGW1CGW1 Posts: 332
    Fred so very sorry to hear about your loss. Thoughts and prayers for you.
    Franco Ceramic Grillworks
  • So sorry to hear that Fred. It is always a difficult time when loved ones pass away, Christmas time is a celebration. Mixed emotions for your family right now. My thoughts are with you and your family. God Bless, and remember the good times that you had with your dad. Know that your daughter's excitement for the day will help you get through. Give her a special hug from Daddy.
    Large, small, and a mini
  • jfm0830jfm0830 Posts: 987
    edited December 2012
    So very sorry for you loss Fred. We just went through a similar thing here. This summer my MIL passed away from the same thing. The last two years were particularly sad for us. She had very few moments where she would recognize us anymore. The families only consolation was that was no way for her to live.

    I think everyone has been giving you sound advice about making this a great Christmas for your Immediate family. Your daughter only has so many Christmases with the magic and wonder of Santa Claus. It would be a shame to have this one pass you by.

    Once again my sincere condolences. I know what it is like having just gone through it myself.

    3 LBGE & More Eggcessories than I care to think about.
  • henapplehenapple Posts: 15,986
    Never knew my father and my step father was a real bastard. I have zero good memories. Probably made me a better father. I always try to console others by telling them to remember the good things. They're a gift from God. I pray you'll have peace no matter what...
    Green egg, dead animal and alcohol. The "Boro".. TN 
  • Fred,

    Terribly sorry to hear Fast that. Lost both my folks in the last few years. Early for both of them. Mom was 69 and Dad was 74. Feel cheated but they were strong and coherent to the end. Grandma had Alzheimers and it was long and slow. Father in Law has MS and that is cruel and unusual punishment. Hard to say what's worse. Be strong pal and We will pray tonight.


    Caledon, ON


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