Stumps High Tech Rain Deflector ...

StumpBaby

<p />Wasn't it sposed to be nice out today ? Nah..not my luck. I was in the middle of cookin some pulled beef when the darned skies opened up like a giant snow filled ass...and started dumpin on my parade. So..I ran down to the basement..and within 2 hours....(almost none of which was void of any interesting new cus words)..no less than 20 ten penny nails...half a bottle of non waterproof glue (remember I'm a Stump)..and no less than three insulted extremeties (good thing that workbench is waist high or it'd been at least one more)..and I came up with this little number. Now..seein as all I went through to make this thing..don't nobody call askin if'n I can make one for them..cause I'm guessin it ain't gonna be very cost effective..specially if I take into account all that glue I used...half of which I'm pretty sure has by now fused together at least 2 of my toes (now you know why I went with the non-waterproof glue).[p]Also note the blue tupperware container..under there is my prized 5 dollah polder knock off. I sure was mad when I realized I didn't take into account that the piece of non exterior grade plywood wouldn't cover the side tables. Also note the special spring clamp used to hold my new device in place. This was my wifes idea..she got real sick of me standin out there in the fallin snow..holdin that thing over the egg..truth be tol..I think she was worried more about the water I'd be drippin on the wood floors whenever I came back inside..tween you and me..she ain't all that and a bag of chips..cause if'n she was thinkin right..she'd a left me out there at least long enough to let that glue wash off a bit..now we gotta use water on the floors to get the glue off..but still..them clamps is a nice touch...[p]You'll also notice in the photo that there's no snow comin down..seems like after I went through all that trouble makin this fine device..within an hour of that device bein in place..that giant trouble makin snow ass moved on..and the sun came out nice and bright like.[p]Jeeze..some days it don't pay to get up in the mornin...[p]
Ahhh..the life of a Stump[p]StumpBaby[p][p]

mad max beyond eggdome

StumpBaby,
you should really be proud of yourself. .. its ingenuity like that that:[p]1. make america great
2. took us to the moon (and back)
3. built the brooklyn bridge
4. helped defeat communism
5. won the war (i don't know which one, just pick any of them that we won)
6. damned the mighty rivers
7. built the railroads
8. made us a world power
9. helped capture saddam
10. allows circus folk full rights under the constitution[p]way to go you great american thinker, tinkerer, brainiac. . .we knew that big cranium was good for somethin. .. .[p]now you can rest on the 7th day. ...

The Naked Whiz

StumpBaby,
...and that unique joint. Wow! But hey, don't sell that grid rester short! Maybe you can show us a close up of that one! Attababy! LOL[p]TNW

tach18k

mad max beyond eggdome,[p]You left out the most important discovery....[p]A Proctologist’s Scope[p]

Lawn Ranger

StumpBaby,
If it weren't for days like this....the life of a "Stump" wouldn't be the life of a "Stump". If the rest of us only had half you're Karma (stolen from Nature Boy)....then we'd be legends,... like you.[p]Mike

tn slagamater

StumpBaby, thanks for the great pix. This whole episode about your lack of contribution to the forum is unequivocally resolved and finally settled...GREAT POST!! AND that does not even consider the VALUE of AUNT BEDALIA's FAMILY PORTRAIT being added to the forum archives....Welcome back Stump...

Dave's Not Here

Lawn Ranger,
I can already visualize the next display of your workmanship.[p]A perfect two-foot branch of oak, somehow clamped on the back of the hinge, topped with a 12-inch cross-cut piece of the tree. Beautiful.[p]Dave (I have a medium BGE)

Lawn Ranger

Dave's Not Here,
OK...Mama's gonna kill me. The garage is six inches deep in sawdust, I have brown lung and I keep calling out "Mesquite" or "Oak", in my sleep. I'm going to be forced to start traveling the country, sleeping in various Egger's driveways and living off of scraps from Egg dinners. Considering that there are rarely scraps following Egg dinners....my much needed diet should be fairly easy.....Ken Stone just e-mailed me regarding Churrasco BBQ Swords...Man, where does it end??? Help me Stump Baby!!! I need your wisdom.[p]Mike

StumpBaby

Lawn Ranger,[p]Oh..man..dis is bad..if'n you need wisdom from the Stump..dis gotta be not good. I'll try to help...bess I can...prolly your biggest prollem is talkin in your sleeps..which is good for nobody. From what I can tell..you is in danger of your kinfolks not talkin to you.[p]I got a cousin maned Gene..tho us kinfolks sure don talk bout him much no more..but parently...from what I've figured out..he used to talk in his sleep..which started quite a family ruckus..seems he was holdin back a secret..which for the life of me I sure don't unnerstand why..I mean..if'n folks is startin to have prollems..most specially at night..it ain't nuttin to be shamed of..but I suppose in this family..you jus never know what they is gonna do..circus folk is jus plain unpredicktable I suppose...[p]Anyway..in order to help you out with your prollem..I asked poppa to splain to me bout Gene..and he reluctantly greed to tell me the whole story. Seems that Gene had started to talk in his sleep every night..which done got his momma worried..so she called poppa figurin he could help the bess..him bein the one in the family what made it all the way to the fourth grade and all. Poppa agreed to go over there and help the next night..and when he got there..he snuk into Gene's room..an just waited..and sure enough..in the middle of the night..Gene started saying.."it's an exit..it's an exit..alright..alright..but go slow"...poppa figured somethin mus be botherin the willies out of Gene..prolly he is havin some kinda drivin problems.[p]So that whole next day..poppa secretely followed Gene round..and he ain't seen nuttin outta the ordinary all day..seems Gene's drivin was just fine..parently till later that night. It sure musta been bad too..cause when poppa was tellin me this part of the story..his face got all squinched up and what not like he was gonna let out a huge air biscuit but realized at the last moment there was a bit more too it than jus air. Seems like at night..Gene musta had prollems drivin..cause from what poppa says he had a lady friend what was doin the drivin...sounds like she was one of them there back seat drivers too..but she musn't be good at it tho..cause sounds like she was so skeered...she had a big strap on her...prolly to keep her in the seat if'n they had an accident I suppose..and sounds like she was screamin some god awful things at Gene too..while she was doin that back seat drivin..I guess she was prolly mad as all get out that she had to do the drivin every night.[p]From what poppa said..she sure wasn't a good teacher tho..cause it sounds like it was one of them bad cycles..she would be yellin at him..doin that bad back seat drivin..which would be makin Gene squint like you read about..which prolly made his drivin skills even worse. I think maybe if'n Gene relaxed a little bit..his eyes wouldn't squint up like that..and maybe he could do the drivin hisself.[p]Poor Gene..was no wonder he walked funny in the mornin sometimes..I figure he gets real sick of havin to have that women do the drivin like that..that he done started walkin everywhere he needs to go at night..and he sure does live a long way from most things..so that's gotta be a whole lotta walkin..he prolly gots some sore feet..and from what poppa says..he must walk so far sometimes he falls down and hurts his knees too.[p]I sure Hope this helps you..Lawn Ranger..I would say that if'n you start to yell things out at night somethin is jus not right..and folks will start keepin a real close eye on you..which may..or may not be good...[p]Ahh..the life of a Stump....[p]StumpBaby

Lawn Ranger

StumpBaby,[p]Wow!, Thanks man. I feel better already. It really does help when you have someone to vent to.