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Stumps Blast from the past

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StumpBaby
StumpBaby Posts: 56
edited November -1 in EggHead Forum
Well,

All hell broke loose in the last few weeks for me. We lost the buyers on our house, we had a signed lease on a victorian house in Ipswich, but the women can't get rid of her tenants so we have no place to go..I have an ingrown hair in my big toe and it's all blown up the size of a car wash, yesterday I had an asthma attack that left me in the local ER for 3 hours, and today..I lost a sock at the lake. So what do I do to make myself feel better..before I lose my mind..I spend a few hours looking through my old posts..and this one I plucked out on accounta I laffed until I stopped. Maybe some of you folks will like it, maybe not. I know one person that will send me yet another nice email describing how I'm ruining the forum with my posts and how all the old timers don't post any more because of me...yada yada yada..may the fleas of a thousand camels find his undewear drawer, or at the the least, may someone find this man the good wisdom not to read something he states is so bad that its single-handedly ruining this here forum. :)

This post was in response to someone asking for a recommendation for agood hamburger press...

I miss the good old days..

StumpBaby


Momma used to make the best hamburgers, and was the simplest method too. She would rollup the hamburger meat into a ball, and then put it on the table, and smack down on it with her cast iron skillet. She got real good at it too, she could pump out those burgers faster that you'd ever believe..and sure enough they'd always come out the right size. I was sittin down with momma the other night watchin her make the burgers and we gots to talking real nice like. I love it when this happens, cause momma really is a fountain of information..why this particular conversation, I learned why our table is so low to the ground, why there's 2 years seperating my and my younger brother Chris, and why pretty soon, we may not be having any more hamburgers at all.

Turns out poppa used to make all the hamburgers for the family, and way momma tells it, he was real good at it too. Momma told me it was right after I was born, on wash day, poppa was in the kitchen wacking out them there burgers, and momma was down in the creek washin all the laundry, when all of a sudden she heard a sound that she says woulda woke the dead..and she comes running back to the house..to see poppa runnin round the kithen with something in his hand that was lookin real sad..and flat..she said at first she thought poppa was happy cause he done found the beef tongue she was hidin in the ice box (every once in a while momma would make poppas favorite dish of beef tongue and taters )..but then she seen the look on poppas and she said poppas eyes were poppin out like a stepped on peeptoad..and it was then she realized what'd happened.

Momma leaned in to me and said it was then that she shoulda realized it wasn't really necessary to wash all the clothes at once, and she coulda let poppa wear something that'll keep things off the table while the wash is bein done..but that's not the way it went. Momma said it took a long time for poppa to heal, almost a year and a half..but when he was healed, momma said he was eager to go back to makin them there burgers, so they decided, in all their wisdom, to lower the table, so that if'n poppa were to make burgers again on wash day, the table'll be low enough so that nothing would get int the way of that skillet. Momma said they coulda raised it up instead, but then poppa still wouldn't be able to make burgers if'n it was early in the mornin. She sure did laugh at that, and when I asked what was so funny she said in a few years, I'd understand. I suppose some cookin things are like that..when I'm old enough to know they'll let me..sorta like cuttin the taters with a sharp knife.

So, I asked momma why poppa wasn't makin the burgers still..now that the table was lower..and she said that lowerin the table fixed the problem for a lotta years, but that over time..ever so slowly..the problem came back. I asked momma if'n poppas legs were shrinkin, and she said more like the opposite..and again she let out a long guffaw belly laugh at that...but then she finally told me that some things of poppas were like heavy pears on a weak branch..and over time..the fruit gets closer and closer to the ground. After that second accident poppa had..momma took over the burger makin. But I gotta tell you, as I was sittin there, at that low table with momma..watchin her wack out them burgers..I seen something that tells me maybe we autta stop makin burgers all together. That table can only get so lower before we ain't never gonna be able to sit at it no more.

StumpBaby
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